@mementomorii_
"Stay away from me or so help me GOD I will eat EVERYONE you love."
"Stay away from me or so help me GOD I will eat EVERYONE you love."
"I will boil your teeth!"
A: "You shouldn't be getting sick, stop licking your fingers."
B: "But can we lick toes?"
Me: "Oh, so you suck toes, then?!"
"Someone dumb-dicked into his sister and here I am."
"Cracking a cold guinea pig open with the boys"
"Dammit you made me give a fuck."
"I don't like to take drugs often. But when I do, there is something wrong."
"Cracking a cold guinea pig open with the boys"
W h a t
"Cracking a cold guinea pig open with the boys"
W h a t
…Even with context it doesn't make much sense but that's the top comment from this video ^
Ah I've seen it! Yeah not much sense
"What weirdo just subjected themselves to following this account?"
Guy on radio- to anyone celebrating a birthday today we have an interesting fact for ya.
Other person - ooh what?
Guy on radio - you share a birthday with a celebrity.
Other person - who?!
Guy on radio - o.j Simpson
Other person -complete and utter silence…
"Look at all the eyeballs!"
"Don't…"
"No seriously, look at all the black spots on the ends of these things"
"I like to call it pepper"
"Oh yeah, well then look at the pepper! Look at the perfectly placed pepper on each one of these BABY EELS"
My friend: So I ate five pieces of chicken and then I came-
My other friend: Kinky!
Me: You know that's not what they meant.
My other friend: Buuut you were thinking it too, weren't you?
Me: ….
Me: Maybe a little….
My friend: I hate you both.
"Spider nipple, that'd be a good superhero!"
"Les poissons. Les poissons. Hee hee hee. Hon hon hon."
"I pulled something in my leg from kneeling to King Henry."
"Les poissons. Les poissons. Hee hee hee. Hon hon hon."
That From the little mirmaid?
Yep. Now imagine a baritone saying that in a deadpan voice
Creepy as all hell…
"You're trash and trash should stay in the trash, trash."
"Wow, that got really aggressive really fast."
"Hey! Stop eating the garden!"
"Is that…toast?"
"No, it's the ten commandments"
"Huh? Oooh"
“I’m going to scream either way if he makes it or falls”
"Everyone likes to run in polyester and parachute pants"
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