I'm just going to put this out there:
I think that sometimes, it's okay to break a promise. Especially if the vowbreaking is mutual, or there is abuse involved. It is okay to break promises when the feeling you had when you made them is no longer there.
Perhaps if it is mutual. (For our non Christian friends.) And yes if it is abusive. But for no other reason.
Indeed I have.
The girlfriend that you told me about because…. I'm not sure that was love, my guy.
And all those things are wonderful. But if you do not get the feeling do you not love? I would disagree.
I did not say that my description was the only description of love ever. It was merely an example of all the great and wonderful things one feels when in love. Which is the point of yours that I was counteracting that "Love is not a feeling".
I agree. But neither of us knows the inner workings of marriage.
How do you know I haven't been married? I've never said that I have or have not been. I've been in relationships long enough to know what marriage feels like without actually doing the deed. I know what it is like to live with someone for years and take care of them, want to start a family with them, but at the same time still be my own person. My mother is the same way. As is one of my close friends that just got married, she's still her own person while being someone's wife. You may give everything you have into a marriage, but you don't lose who you are.
I'm not letting Spock win the argument this time. Maybe it is you who does not understand what love is. Who can tell?
I think it may be obvious.
I have read studies that say otherwise from the mouths of the children of divorce.
I am a child of divorce as well. My hand wrote the above words. Studies look for children that fit the bill. But in every day life, children understand that sometimes things don't work and that a new solution must be found. Children understand. People are affected by individuals not divorce. The father may be an asshole, but he was an asshole before the divorce and is not taking it out on his kids. A mother may bring home a new boyfriend, but that is her choice to move on, and not because of her divorce, because she's ready to find love once more. Divorce doesn't ruin or hurt children. People do.
Unless you swore otherwise.
No. Promises change just like everything else. If someone cannot hold up their end of the deal then they are free to be let go. Marriage is not a prison you cannot escape from.
I think people often mistake the so-called honeymoon period for real love. The elation you feel every second you spend with someone is great-but it will go away. The euphoria will fade, and life will go back to mundaneity. True love is sticking through it, and not just being lovers, but best friends as well.
I do not care for love, but I do feel that it is more of a feeling than a choice. You cannot choose to love someone, the feelings come by themselves.
I think people often mistake the so-called honeymoon period for real love. The elation you feel every second you spend with someone is great-but it will go away. The euphoria will fade, and life will go back to mundaneity. True love is sticking through it, and not just being lovers, but best friends as well.
YES! EXACTLY!
I do not care for love, but I do feel that it is more of a feeling than a choice. You cannot choose to love someone, the feelings come by themselves.
Have you been in a relationship? If so, how long?
I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’m pretty excited for it tbh
Indeed I have.
The girlfriend that you told me about because…. I'm not sure that was love, my guy.
Perhaps. But I am pretty sure it was. Towards the end at least.
And all those things are wonderful. But if you do not get the feeling do you not love? I would disagree.
I did not say that my description was the only description of love ever. It was merely an example of all the great and wonderful things one feels when in love. Which is the point of yours that I was counteracting that "Love is not a feeling".
Love has feeling. Love is not a feeling. The sun is bright.
I agree. But neither of us knows the inner workings of marriage.
How do you know I haven't been married? I've never said that I have or have not been. I've been in relationships long enough to know what marriage feels like without actually doing the deed. I know what it is like to live with someone for years and take care of them, want to start a family with them, but at the same time still be my own person. My mother is the same way. As is one of my close friends that just got married, she's still her own person while being someone's wife. You may give everything you have into a marriage, but you don't lose who you are.
I knew. (Or to be more realistic, was sure based off of limited evidence.) It's not the same. Coming from people who were married, it's not. Because marriage is commitment, while living together is purposefully leaving the door open in case of the need to get out.
I'm not letting Spock win the argument this time. Maybe it is you who does not understand what love is. Who can tell?
I think it may be obvious.
I have read studies that say otherwise from the mouths of the children of divorce.
I am a child of divorce as well. My hand wrote the above words. Studies look for children that fit the bill. But in every day life, children understand that sometimes things don't work and that a new solution must be found. Children understand. People are affected by individuals not divorce. The father may be an asshole, but he was an asshole before the divorce and is not taking it out on his kids. A mother may bring home a new boyfriend, but that is her choice to move on, and not because of her divorce, because she's ready to find love once more. Divorce doesn't ruin or hurt children. People do.
That does sound true. (The first part.) But I have heard testimony from those with more experience than you and I am more inclined to believe that.
Unless you swore otherwise.
No. Promises change just like everything else. If someone cannot hold up their end of the deal then they are free to be let go. Marriage is not a prison you cannot escape from.
Could you call it a prison if it was voluntary? Also, if you can't hold someone to their word, what is left of trust?
I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’m pretty excited for it tbh
How old are you?
I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’m pretty excited for it tbh
How old are you?
….15. how lame, right?
My eldest brother is old enough to drink and has never been in a relationship. It’s not lame.
My mom's been in three marriages, and two ended in divorce, does that count as experience? And in each one, she didn't leave for herself, she left for her children. Me in the first one, and my brothers in the second one. Not because she was being abused, during her second marriage, but because her children were. And even her first one, it wasn't her own abuse that made her leave, but the fact that she wanted a stable home for me, even if it meant only having one parent. Because at least I'd have a positive childhood, instead of one filled with negative emotions.
I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’m pretty excited for it tbh
How old are you?
….15. how lame, right?
What do you mean lame? Fifteen is a good age to start thinking about such things seriously. Young relationships almost never work out.
My mom's been in three marriages, and two ended in divorce, does that count as experience? And in each one, she didn't leave for herself, she left for her children. Me in the first one, and my brothers in the second one. Not because she was being abused, during her second marriage, but because her children were. And even her first one, it wasn't her own abuse that made her leave, but the fact that she wanted a stable home for me, even if it meant only having one parent. Because at least I'd have a positive childhood, instead of one filled with negative emotions.
Yo dude. I have said abusive situations are not in the same league. We would all agree that some marriages should be terminated.
Divorce is divorce though, man. If people decide 'hey, this just ain't working out, maybe we jumped the gun' shouldn't they be allowed to decide that themselves, regardless of whether or not you think it's a sin?
Divorce should be allowed as an alternative for couples.
People don't always show their true colors when they're dating, think of all of the horrible stories that have started with someone going 'well, he seemed nice'.
Divorce is divorce though, man. If people decide 'hey, this just ain't working out, maybe we jumped the gun' shouldn't they be allowed to decide that themselves, regardless of whether or not you think it's a sin?
Of course. It's wrong, but marriage is also considered a legal contract these days so why not? For a Christian marriage no, because that's part of the religion. but for everyone else totally.
But forcing people to stay within a marriage that they are not happy with violates their rights!
Why would you even want to stay with someone who doesn't love you anymore?
Social or religious pressure.
Only if you assume happiness is a right, and if something isn't happy it violates said right. Which is stupid. Because a lot of things make me not happy. And those are not violations of my rights.
If it is a contract it must be stuck with.
And would I want to? Probably. Because I would still love her.
Happiness is a right. Living your life the way you want to is a right of freedom.
But she doesn't love you anymore, so you would force her to stay with you? That's….abuse.
"The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."
LONG LIVE AMERICA
Happiness is a right. Living your life the way you want to is a right of freedom.
P R E A C H
I don't think you should just say "hey, I don't think I love you anymore. Let's divorce." That's 100% not okay in my opinion.