Freddy: You're blocking the view.
Sybil: I am the view.
Jackson: Okay, name one way to be nice to others.
Geneva: Don't kill them.
Jackson: Setting the bar a little low there.
Carter: I'm the most responsible person here.
Louis: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Carter: And I take full responsibility for that.
Bartolomeo: You're blocking the view.
Cavendish: I am the view.
Estella: Okay, name one way to be nice to others.
Peregrine: Don't kill them.
Estella: Setting the bar a little low there.
Zoro: The real treasure is the memories we made along the way.
Sanji: I almost died.
Zoro: That was my fondest memory.
Luffy: We're the most responsible people on the ship.
Sanji: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Azami: And we take full responsibility for that.
Carter: I'm the most responsible person here.
Louis: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Carter: And I take full responsibility for that.
I have a friend named Carter and that's something he would do
Lila: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Oliver: …I did. I broke it.
Lila: No. No you didn't. Sam?
Sam: Don't look at me. Look at Theo.
Theo: What?! I didn't break it.
Sam: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Theo: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Sam: Suspicious.
Theo: No it's not!
Anna: If it matters, probably not, but Theo was the last one to use it.
Theo: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Anna: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Lila: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Anna!
Oliver: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Lila.
Lila: No! Who broke it!?
Sam: Lila…Mia's been awfully quiet.
Mia: REALLY?!
[Everyone starts arguing]
Lila, later: I broke it. I burned my hand so I stabbed it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
(btw the original line at the end was "I burned my hand so I punched it.")
Azazel: I'm the most responsible person here.
Quill: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Azazel: And I take full responsibility for that.
Cyrus: You're blocking the view.
Jack: I am the view.
Quill: Okay, name one way to be nice to others.
Azazel: Don't kill them?
Quill: Setting the bar a little low there.
Ginny: I'm the most responsible person here.
Anne: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Ginny: And I take full responsibility for that.
Ozzie: Okay, name one way to be nice to others.
Sybil: Don't kill them.
Freddy: Setting the bar a little low there.
Felix: When I was little-
Jarrod: Was?
Jarrod: You're blocking the view.
Felix: I am the view.
Mel: Okay name one way to be nice to others.
Austin: Don't kill them.
Mel: Setting the bar a little low there.
Felix: The real treasure is the memories we made along the way.
Jarrod: I almost died.
Felix: That was my fondest memory.
Felix: I'm the most responsible person here.
Jarrod: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Felix: And I take full responsibility for that.
Carter: I'm the most responsible person here.
Louis: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Carter: And I take full responsibility for that.
I have a friend named Carter and that's something he would do
It's a Chaos Name
Dallas: I just found out that 51 is divisible by 17. I feel fucking sick I can't breathe.
Andor: It's wHAT?!
Holly: I hate this.
Jackie, pulling out a calculator: Oh my god hold on.
Jackie: IT'S TRUE WHAT THE FUCK?!
Kit: What have you gathered on the case?
Gerard: Well, here's a list of all the suspects I've obtained.
Kit: Gerard, your name is on this list.
Gerard: I can't remember where I was last Saturday, therefore I have no alibi. I've been trailing myself for days.\
Andor: What is toothpaste if not bone soap?
Ara: Every time you speak I age another 50 years.
Frank: So what are all your skills?
Crispin: I'm a skilled knife thrower
Kit: I have telekinesis.
Eva: I make good life choices
Frank: that’s not really-
Caleb: No trust us. She’s our most important member
Ara: I'm over this.
Dallas: Over what?
Ara: All of it.
Dallas: Could you be more specific?
Ara: Specifically everything.
Holly: I'm the most responsible person here.
Brian: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Holly: And I take full responsibility for that.
Crispin: When I was little-
Leo: Was?
Dallas: I just found out that 51 is divisible by 17. I feel fucking sick I can't breathe.
Andor: It's wHAT?!
Holly: I hate this.
Jackie, pulling out a calculator: Oh my god hold on.
Jackie: IT'S TRUE WHAT THE FUCK?!
Wait it is?
"Okay Google, what's 51 divided by 7?"
Oh, Gross
Azami: I just found out that 51 is divisible by 17. I feel fucking sick I can't breathe.
Franky: It's wHAT?!
Nami: I hate this.
Brook, pulling out a calculator: Oh my god hold on.
Brook: IT'S TRUE WHAT THE FUCK?!
Peregrine: What have you gathered on the case?
Estella: Well, here's a list of all the suspects I've obtained.
Peregrine: Estella, your name is on this list.
Estella: I can't remember where I was last Saturday, therefore I have no alibi. I've been trailing myself for days.
Estella: What is toothpaste if not bone soap?
Peregrine: Every time you speak I age another 50 years.
Law: So, what are all your skills?
Zoro: I'm a skilled swordsman.
Luffy: I can stretch.
Nami: I make good life choices.
Law: that’s not really-
Azami: No, trust us. She’s our most important member.
Peregrine: I'm over this.
Estella: Over what?
Peregrine: All of it.
Estella: Could you be more specific?
Peregrine: Specifically everything.
Dallas: I just found out that 51 is divisible by 17. I feel fucking sick I can't breathe.
Andor: It's wHAT?!
Holly: I hate this.
Jackie, pulling out a calculator: Oh my god hold on.
Jackie: IT'S TRUE WHAT THE FUCK?!Wait it is?
"Okay Google, what's 51 divided by 7?"
Oh, Gross
Oh my gold, this is so much worse than 45 and 3, I hate it so much, get rid of it
Harper: I just found out that 51 is divisible by 17. I feel fucking sick I can't breathe.
Casey: It's what?
Beck: I hate this.
Casey, pulling out a calculator: Oh my God hold on.
Casey: IT'S TRUE WHAT THE FUCK?!
Marisol, a math major: :/
Robin: What is toothpaste if not bone soap?
Oberon: Every time you speak I age another 50 years.
Trix: So what are all your skills?
Dima: I'm a skilled knife thrower
Lyra: I can beat just about anyone in hand-to-hand.
Ness: I make good life choices
Trix: That’s not really-
Lyra: No, trust us. She’s our most important member.
Geneva: I'm over this.
Jackson: Over what?
Geneva: All of it.
Jackson: Could you be more specific?
Geneva: Specifically everything.
Austin: I just found out that 51 is divisible by 17. I feel fucking sick I can't breathe.
Felix: It's wHAT?!
Mel: I hate this.
Jarrod, pulling out a calculator: Oh my god hold on.
Jarrod: IT'S TRUE WHAT THE FUCK?!
(Em in the background: Why is that making you all so mad)
Mel: What have you gathered on the case?
Austin: Well, here's a list of all the suspects I've obtained.
Mel: Austin, your name is on this list.
Austin: I can't remember where I was last Saturday, therefore I have no alibi. I've been trailing myself for days.
Austin: What is toothpaste if not bone soap?
Mel: Every time you speak I age another 50 years.
Mel: So what are all your skills?
Austin: I turn into a big wolf
Felix: I am the god of fortune and can teleport+cast minor illusions
Jarrod: I make good life choices
Mel: that’s not really-
Austin: No trust us. He’s our most important member
Austin: I'm over this.
Mel: Over what?
Austin: All of it.
Mel: Could you be more specific?
Austin: Specifically everything.
Cyrus: I just found out that 51 is divisible by 17. I feel fucking sick I can't breathe.
Dally: It's wHAT?!
Cyrus: I hate this.
Quill, pulling out a calculator: Oh my god hold on.
Quill: IT'S TRUE WHAT THE FUCK?!
Anthony: What have you gathered on the case?
Quill: Well, here's a list of all the suspects I've obtained.
Anthony: Quill, your name is on this list.
Quill: I can't remember where I was last Saturday, therefore I have no alibi. I've been trailing myself for days.
Quill: So, what are all your skills?
Cyrus: I can hop between dimensions.
Jack: I’m a literal grim reaper.
Anthony: I make decent life choices.
Quill: …That’s not really-
Cyrus: No, trust us. He’s our most important member.
Jack: Oh, your “brain” is “acting illogically”? It’s meat with electricity inside, what the fuck did you expect?
My characters as quotes my friends and I have said without context!
(although honestly it wouldn't be much better with it)
Child!Fortune: Mom! We lost the brain cell!
Teenage!Rowan: Mom! How do I sexy?
Raleigh: Mom! I don't want to be straight!
Amory: This is a safe space.
Bellamy: No it's not!
Fortune: If I had to kill someone with a light saber, I would stab them in the heart quickly to get it over with so they don't feel pain.
Persimmon: Are you kidding, everybody knows that you cut the arms and legs to make them useless and leave them to suffer and bleed out.
Titania, excitedly: Yeah!
Alnaschar at Young!Amalgam: I don't love you, small child.
Aster: You wouldn't understand my traumas.
Death: Because I'm the one giving it to you.
Aster at Constantine: I heard you, I'm just not responding.
Fortune: Give me the knife.
Bellamy: I'm not afraid of the unknown. I yeet into the unknown!
Jabre and Margot at the Colonel Whitewater: sung Who the fuck are you?
(Time to nerd out and say that you can't bleed out if you're stabbed with a lightsaber since the blade is so hot that it instantly cauterizes the wound.)
(To be honest, knowing that just makes the quote funnier)
((obviously that means all the blood would push towards those areas, find them blocked, and then proceed to explode outwards because i definitely didn't fail biology twice))
(It sort of just cooks the flesh I think. Like meat. At least that's what it looks like when we get a severed limb closeup.)
Portia: If I had to kill someone with a light saber, I would stab them in the heart quickly to get it over with so they don't feel pain.
Talia: Are you kidding, everybody knows that you cut the arms and legs to make them useless and leave them to suffer and bleed out.
Quinn, completely deadpan: Yeah.
Huxley: You wouldn't understand my traumas.
Rosaline: Because I'm the one giving it to you.
Geneva, to Jackson: I heard you, I'm just not responding.
Robin: I'm not afraid of the unknown. I yeet into the unknown!
(Jyn, your Robin and Robin from One Piece are polar opposites and I love it)
(scrivener may i please steal your friends because they're fucking hilarious)
(I'm unfamiliar with One Piece Robin but I love that as well)
Felix: Oh, your “brain” is “acting illogically”? It’s meat with electricity inside, what the fuck did you expect?
Mel @ Jarrod: Mom! We lost the brain cell!
Felix @ Jarrod: Mom! How do I sexy?
Austin @ Jarrod: Mom! I don't want to be straight!
Jarrod: Felix, this is a safe space.
Felix: laughing out loud No it's not!
Mel: If I had to kill someone with a light saber, I would stab them in the heart quickly to get it over with so they don't feel pain.
Austin: Are you kidding, everybody knows that you cut the arms and legs to make them useless and leave them to suffer and bleed out.
Em, excitedly: Yeah!
(Felix in the background: What the fuck is a light saber. )
Jarrod @ Felix: I don't love you, small child.
Jarrod: You wouldn't understand my traumas.
Felix: Because I'm the one giving it to you.
Jarrod @ Felix: I heard you, I'm just not responding.
Jarrod @ Austin: Give me the knife.
Austin: I'm not afraid of the unknown. I yeet into the unknown!
Felix and Jarrod @ Austin and Em: sung Who the fuck are you?
(She's the most chill, reserved, big-brained mom friend everwho also likes dark humor and I love her)