Dean Michael Harrison

 

Chloe and Lucas, as well as Simon and CJ on occasion, call him Dean-o, although he only likes it when his spouses say it.
Speaking of which, Simon, CJ, and Henry all have their different pet names for him. Simon's is Casanova, CJ's is Flynn Rider/Rider/Eugene, and Henry's is the very excessive "my dashing rogue".

 

His hero name is Hotshot, partially because his main weapon is guns and partially because "hotshot" is another term for an egotistical casanova-type and he likes to think highly of himself.

 

30 (born 1/24/94 - Aquarius)

 

bisexual & polyamorous

 

male (he/him)

 

Protagonist

 

not quite a mullet, a little wavy

 

dyed brown (natural blond)

 

He has a bit of a beard that he's been growing more recently because Simon said once they liked when he didn't shave.

 

green

 

6'1"

 

170 lbs

 

Freckles. Freckles everywhere. He also has several scars, mostly from hunting & superheroing work but he also has his top surgery scars.

 

He has his anti-possession tattoo and very detailed other signs & sigils tattooed on his back. He's thought about getting his ears pierced, and Simon's trying to convince him too, but he's terrified that it'll cause a ton of dysphoria.

 

He's built with a bit of a tummy.

 

tan-ish

 

Caucasian

 

Metahuman - mostly human species born with a recessive gene that, when activated, gives them superpowers in their adolescence. People may be carriers of the metahuman gene without it being active, but for this case, Dean has an active metahuman gene that activated when he was 10.

 

He's stuck in his teenage habit of wearing a ton of layers, so he usually has at least three. Simon and Henry are trying to help him out of that habit, especially in the summer where heatstroke is a genuine threat. He is very partial to jackets, especially of the leather & canvas variety.

 

For what he usually wears, he does clean up nicely. He has a whole one tux for formal occasions that may or may not be his father's wedding tux that he stole. He does still wear his protective charms, but he makes them look nice.

 

Pinterest Board

 

He is entirely for gun control, especially since he uses them for his hero work. He also has a bias against abusive and unsupportive parents and if he sees particularly terrible parents in public, he'll go out of his way to go comfort the kid and "inadvertently" call the parent out for their shitty behavior.

 

He is deaf in his left ear due to some of the head trauma & loud gunshots of his childhood. He isn't completely deaf, but it's extremely hard to hear out of that ear and it continues to worsen.
He definitely has trauma from growing up with his abusive (physically & emotionally) father.
He's still dealing with gender dysphoria that is kind of a bitch sometimes.
He does have some issues with commitment that have slowly gotten better, and is still terrified of being abandoned.

 

He has extremely fast reflexes, both with and without his powers. He's also naturally protective, so he has a habit of thrusting his arm in front of whoever's in the front seat of his car when they come to an abrupt stop and immediately jumping in front of his teammates when they're in danger during battle.

 

His team, especially Simon, CJ, and Henry. (as well as the sheer spite of being a better person than his father)

 

He has perfect aim, although he's a damn good marksman even when they're dampened.
As long as he can see the target, he can hit it. This includes if it's like just out of the corner of his eye or if it's in a reflection. He also does need at least a little bit of momentum if he's throwing something, which is why he usually doesn't use his powers that way.
He also has scarily good instinct.

 

Because he's naturally protective, his teammates and lovers tend to think he doesn't believe they can fend for themselves, which isn't true. He just really doesn't want them getting hurt.
He also sometimes gets too into his head and spirals very easily into self-deprecation.
He is a recovering alcoholic, a habit he picked up from his father. He's not sober, but he's more conscious of how much he drinks and when.
Even though he has perfect aim, he's still (meta)human. He can't dodge things as well as he can hit them and he tends to forget this. He also needs to be able to see where he's aiming, so darkness and being blinded are unhelpful.

 

He loves playing guitar and he's a fantastic cook.

 

ESTP & Chaotic Neutral

 

Dean Winchester (Supernatural), Eugene Fitzherbert (Tangled), John Constantine (Legends of Tomorrow), Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

 

Even he doesn't know, but anything greasy he'll most likely enjoy.

 

Dogs.

 

The gun his father gave him when he turned 18.

 

his journal & two pictures he keeps in his wallet: one of him and his brother Charlie when they were 18 & 14 respectively & one of him, Simon, CJ, & Henry right when they started dating

 

Dark green and red.

 

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom, I Know What You Did Last Summer, & My Bloody Valentine 3D

 

Supernatural, The X-Files, & Brooklyn 99

 

Superhero & hunter

 

Generally liberal.

 

very aggressively atheist

 

From Q&A:

Q: What is your biggest regret?
A: Letting my brother go out on his own and die. If only I'd held him back for another month.

Q: What is your favourite memory?
A: Favorite memory is definitely the feeling of freedom after my dad died. That also sounds awful, but I couldn't give a shit about my dad, so whatever.

Q: Pineapple on pizza or no?
A: Absolutely not, pineapple on pizza is disgusting.

Q: What's your greatest achievement?
A: Greatest achievement is managing to stay in my relationship without fucking it up too much.

Q: Where do y'all see yourselves in like, 20 or 30 years?
A: Settled down with kids and dogs. Simple as that.

 

January 24th

 

He was born just outside Chicago, IL, moved around his entire life, and now lives in Jersey City in the League base.

 

He has a basic high school education, although he barely graduated due to the constant moving and essentially being a single parent to Charlie. He never had any interest in going to college, but he's starting to take online classes in an attempt to get a degree in engineering.

 

His mother, Elaine, died when he was four years old, so he was mostly raised by his single father, Thomas. Once he discovered his powers mid-hunt at age 10, Thomas taught him to accent his abilities and use them to his advantage, but since Thomas never really was Father of the Year, he'd also suppress Dean's powers with charms at random as to not make him too dependent.
Dean also had a younger brother, Charlie. Charlie's powers manifested extremely early: when he was barely a year old. His powers caused the housefire that killed their mother, so Thomas suppressed his powers for most of his life so he'd never have the opportunity to hurt anyone again.
This backfired immensely when Charlie turned 18 and took off his charm for the first time. He learned of his abilities because he almost accidentally killed his then-girlfriend and blew up at Thomas, storming out. Dean tried to run after him, having not known, but Charlie wouldn't stay.
In this time between Charlie's leaving & Thomas's death, Dean came out to Thomas, who didn't respond well, especially after raising Dean in the image of his dead mother. Despite this, Dean stuck with Thomas until he died from alcohol poisoning.
When Thomas died, Dean packed up and left. He first tried to find Charlie, only to learn of his death, so he turned to becoming a small-town hero, passing through cities before ending up in New Jersey and meeting Simon.
He first learned he was trans at a very young age, around 7-8ish, but he didn't have a word for it until his late teens. Once he did have a word (transgender), it wasn't long until he had a better term for his ever-questioned sexuality as well (bisexual). He started dating his first boyfriend, Jimmy, at 17, but their relationship was cut short when Jimmy followed him into the field and got killed. He got top surgery and started taking hormones at 22, right after his father died, and he gets bottom surgery post-canon.

 

He had a couple of kinda romantic partners growing up because media (& his father) lowkey conditioned him into thinking he had to have a boyfriend at every single point in his life. When he met Jimmy, something clicked and he would've thought they were soulmates if Jimmy hadn't, y'know, died, and he hadn't met Crayon Box later. After Jimmy, he didn't date anyone until Simon.
He's now currently dating Simon, CJ, & Henry.

 

Both of his parents are dead, his mother Elaine dying when he was four and his father Thomas dying when he was twenty-two. He also had a younger brother, Charlie, who died in the past couple of years.

From Q&A:

Q: If it came to protecting only one of the people on your team, who would you protect?
A: That is a terrible question to start with, and in that scenario, I'd try to save everybody anyway, but I'd most likely save Simon first because they could help me save everybody else.

Q: If you could bring your mom back, would you? Even if it cost you everything you had?
A: This'll sound really awful, but no, I wouldn't. At this point, I associate her with a lot of bad memories growing up, even though my actual memories of her are really good, so if I were to ever see her again, I'd only see myself but everything I never wanted to be, so I'd just be really dysphoric and uncomfortable.

 

No pets but he’d love a dog

 

He joined the League mid-2019.

 

His heroics usually take place during battles or when he’s out and about and needs to interfere with something

 

The public doesn't love the League as a whole, but Dean is definitely not liked, especially for his lack of public bedside manner.

 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6yUflA6vc5HXaKr2VWhLco?si=a3c1784630d04c1a

 

His playlist covers his childhood to his joining the League.

Juke Box Hero gives a decent introduction to his childhood and his mindset growing up, which continued to grow more into a parental one to help [[Charlie Harrison]]. Somewhere along the line, while his father wanted him to turn into a spitting image of his mother, he was slowly turning into Thomas instead, learning the ways of the world through the lens of his broken father (Old Time Rock & Roll, I Fought The Law, Keep Yourself Alive, Ain't No Rest for the Wicked).
His true insight into the dark world of hunting was when he first met CJ, the day his father killed their brother. He helped them out, sure, but...he never trusted his father again after that day (Hayloft). Not that the hunting life got any better, of course. It always seemed to get worse (Bad Moon Rising, Eye of the Tiger, Renegade).
When Charlie left, the last of Dean's resolve crumbled. He refused to leave his father, thanks to the sheer amount of lingering guilt, but he starting to at least hunt a bit more...respectfully, or at least he tried. He also started to become more of his own person, or at least as much as he could with still being on his father's leash (Bad Reputation, We're Not Gonna Take It, American Idiot, Dancing With The Devil).
Unfortunately, Thomas was becoming much more aware of Dean's queerness, and in turn, became more hostile toward him, hanging visions of his dead mother over his head to guilt him into not only staying by his side but also not changing himself to remove the last living pieces of his mother. And that's what we call: mommy issues (Mama, Simple Man).
Thomas died when Dean was 22, and he took that as a perfect escape (Don't Look Back, Seventeen Going Under). He started hormones, got his impromptu top surgery, and became some sort of a smalltown hero/hunter (Line It Up, Ramble On, Wheel in the Sky) before finally making his way to Jersey and meeting Simon.
Dean never really...expected Simon, to say the least. They weren't really what he usually looked for in a romantic partner, and yet, they were fucking perfect (Don't Bring Me Down, I Want You to Want Me, Electric Love, Hooked on a Feeling, You Really Got Me, Drive My Car).
After being in the League for a few months, he finally reunited with CJ (Fox On The Run) and later, their boyfriend Henry (The Devil Went Down to Georgia), but the two of them also ended up being, say it with me now, Just What I Needed.
All things considered, especially the pure bullshit the Legion was pulling (It's The End of the World as We Know It), he felt more alive than ever, finally feeling like...himself for the first time in 20-odd years (Cum on Feel the Noize, In The Heat Of The Moment, Joy To The World, American Pie, Carry On Wayward Son).

 

Juke Box Hero by Foreigner
“Bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store. Didn't know how to play it, but he knew for sure that one guitar felt good in his hands. Didn't take long to understand just one guitar, slung way down low was a one way ticket, only one way to go. So he started rockin', ain't never gonna stop. Gotta keep on rockin', someday gonna make it to the top and be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes.”
Old Time Rock & Roll by Bob Seger
“Call me a relic, call me what you will. Say I'm old fashioned, say I'm over the hill. Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old time rock and roll. Still like that old time rock and roll. That kinda music just soothes the soul. I reminisce about the days of old with that old time rock and roll.”
I Fought The Law by The Clash
“Breakin' rocks in the hot sun. I fought the law and the law won. I fought the law and the law won. I needed money ‘cause I had none. I fought the law and the law won. I fought the law and the law won.”
Keep Yourself Alive by Queen
“I was told a million times of all the troubles in my way. Mind you, grow a little wiser, little better every day. But if I crossed a million rivers and I rode a million miles, then I'd still be where I started, bread and butter for a smile. Well, I sold a million mirrors in a shopping alley way, but I never saw my face in any window any day. Now they say your folks are telling you: be a super star. But I tell you just be satisfied, stay right where you are.”
Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant
“Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked. Money don't grow on trees. I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed, there ain't nothing in this world for free. I know I can't slow down, I can't hold back, though you know I wish I could. Oh, no there ain't no rest for the wicked until we close our eyes for good.”
Hayloft by Mother Mother
“It started with the hayloft a-creakin', well, it just started in the hay (loft). With his long johns on, pop went a-creeping out to the barn, up to the hay (loft). Young lovers and they are not sleeping. Young lovers in the hay (loft). With his gun turned on, pop went a-creeping out to the barn, up to the hay (loft).”
Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival
“I see the bad moon a-rising. I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightnin'. I see bad times today. Don't go around tonight. Well it's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise.”
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
“Risin' up, straight to the top. Had the guts, got the glory. Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop; just a man and his will to survive.”
Renegade by Styx
“This jig is up, the news is out, they've finally found me. The renegade who had it made retrieved for a bounty. Never more to go astray, this will be the end today of the wanted man.”
Bad Reputation by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
“I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation. I've never been afraid of any deviation. An' I don't really care if you think I'm strange; I ain't gonna change.”
We’re Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister
“We're not gonna take it. Oh no, we ain't gonna take it. We're not gonna take it anymore. We've got the right to choose it. There ain't no way we'll lose it. This is our life, this is our song. We'll fight the powers that be just don’t pick our destiny 'cause you don't know us, you don't belong.”
American Idiot by Green Day
“Well maybe I'm the faggot, America. I'm not a part of a redneck agenda. Now everybody do the propaganda, and sing along to the age of paranoia.”
Dancing With The Devil by Set It Off
“Life’s too short to be dancing with the devil. You’d best sleep with a blanket and a shovel.”
Mama by My Chemical Romance
“We all carry on, when our brothers in arms are gone. So raise your glass high for tomorrow we die and return from the ashes you call.”
Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd
"And be a simple kind of man. Oh, be something you love and understand. Baby be a simple kind of man. Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can."
Don't Look Back by Boston
“I can see. It took so long to realize: I'm much too strong not to compromise. Now I see what I am is holding me down, I'll turn it around.”
Seventeen Going Under by Sam Fender
“I was far too scared to hit him, but I would hit him in a heartbeat now. That's the thing with anger: it begs to stick around so it can fleece you of your beauty and leave you spent with none to offer. It makes you hurt the ones who love you. You hurt them like they're nothing.”
Line It Up by Palaye Royale, LP
“Crashing in these secondhand motel rooms, driving cross the country 'cause I want to. I can't slow down because I'm scared to stand still. I can't go home because it feels like hell. And I'd rather die than live my father's life and pretend like I'm satisfied.”
Ramble On by Led Zeppelin
“Ah, sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do: ramble on. And now's the time, the time is now to sing my song.”
Wheel in the Sky by Journey
“Winter is here again, oh lord. Haven't been home in a year or more. I hope she holds on a little longer. Sent a letter on a long summer day made of silver, not of clay. I've been runnin' down this dusty road. Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’. I don't know where I'll be tomorrow. Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'.”
Don’t Bring Me Down by Electric Light Orchestra
“You got me runnin’, goin’ out of my mind. You got me thinkin’ that I’m wasting my time. Don’t bring me down.”
I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick
“You hold the secrets of love in this world. I'm hypnotized by your every word. A special face, a special voice, a special smile in my life. 'Cause lonely is only a place. You don't know what it's like. You can't fight it. It's a hole in my heart, in my heart. If you want my love you got it. When you need my love, you got it. I won't hide it, I won't throw your love away.”
Electric Love by BØRNS
“Baby you're like lightning in a bottle, I can't let you go now that I got it. And all I need is to be struck by your electric love.”
Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede
“I can't stop this feeling deep inside of me. Girl, you just don't realize what you do to me. When you hold me in your arms so tight, you let me know everything's all right.”
You Really Got Me by The Kinks
“Oh see, don't ever set me free, I only wanna be by your side. Girl, you really got me now, you got me so I can't sleep at night.”
Drive My Car by The Beatles
“I told that girl I can start right away. When she said, ‘Listen, baby, I got something to say. I got no car & it’s breaking my heart, but I found a driver and that’s a start.’ Baby, you can drive my car. Yes, I’m gonna be a star. Baby, you can drive my car, and maybe I love you.”
Fox On The Run by Sweet
“Fox on the run, you scream and everybody comes a-running. Take a run and hide yourself away. Foxy on the run. F-foxy fox on the run, and hide away.”
The Devil Went Down to Georgia by The Charlie Daniels Band
“I guess you didn't know it but I'm a fiddle player too, and if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the devil his due. I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul 'cause I think I'm better than you.”
Just What I Needed by The Cars
“I don’t mind you hangin’ out and talkin’ in your sleep. It doesn’t matter where you’ve been as long as it was deep, yeah. You always knew to wear it well and you look so fancy, I can tell. And I don’t mind you hangin’ out and talkin’ in your sleep.”
It’s The End of the World as We Know It by R.E.M.
“Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting. Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate. Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down, watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh. This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear. A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline.”
Cum on Feel the Noize by Quiet Riot
“Well, you think we have a lazy time, you should know better. I don't know why, I don't know why. So you say I got a dirty mind? I'm a mean go-getter. I don't know why, I don't know why anymore, oh, no.”
In The Heat Of The Moment by Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds
“The more that you want it, the more that you need it, I know you'll be by my side in the heat of the moment; when the thunder and lightning come, I know that you'll be by my side.”
Joy To The World by Three Dog Night
“And if I were the king of the world, tell you what I'd do: I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the war, make sweet love to you. Sing it now, joy to the world, all the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, joy to you and me.”
American Pie by Don McLean
“A long long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile. And I knew if I had my chance that I could make those people dance, and maybe they'd be happy for a while.”
Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas
“Carry on my wayward son, for there'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest; don't you cry no more.”

 

Hell's Comin' With Me - Poor Man's Poison

 

70s/80s rock & 2000s alternative (Led Zeppelin, Journey, The Beatles, MCR)

 

Dean: Oh god, did you put glitter in our laundry detergent?
CJ: Oh yeah. I’m experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. That ones called sparkle suds. Dress loud.
Dean: Will you stop putting glitter in everything? This morning you put glitter in the butter.
CJ: Disco Dairy. Spread the party.

Simon: Dean I love you, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.
Dean: I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you?
Simon: yep
Dean: ...I’m sorry

Simon: it’s kinda cold
Dean, handing them his flannel: here
Henry: it’s kinda cold
CJ: well DAMMIT HENRY I CAN'T CONTROL THE WEATHER

Dean: We need a distraction. Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?
CJ: making her way to the front my time has come

Simon: why is your back all scratched up?
Dean: (flashes back to when he chased a raccoon after Simon told him not to)
Dean: I’m having an affair

Dean with his foot stuck in a chair: You may be asking, “Dean, how’d you get your foot stuck in the chair?”
Dean: well lads Dean doesn’t fucking know either

Simon: 80% exhaustion, 10% sarcasm, 20% don’t care
Dean: that’s 110%
Simon: 20% don’t care
Dean: should’ve seen that coming

CJ: Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?
Simon: I’m a knife.
Dean from across the room: They’re a little spoon.

Simon: I wish I could block people in real life.
CJ: A restraining order.
Dean: Murder.

Simon: How did you even find me?
Dean: I thought “Where are they?” And then I saw the explosion.

Dean: This doesn’t have to be a big deal. Whoever took the pie, come forward all will be forgiven.
Simon: …
Henry: …
CJ: …
Dean: Smart. You knew I wouldn’t forgive you.

Xavier: disguised as Dean Sorry I’m late, I was doing...things
Dean: crashing through the door HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS

Simon: You were hurt, what do you remember?
Dean: Just the ambulance ride.
Simon: We didn’t take an ambulance, Henry drove us.
Dean: But I heard a siren.
Henry: That was CJ.
CJ: I was panICKING.

Dean: We have fun, don’t we Simon?
Simon: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

Dean: You’re stupid
Henry: ...Is that it?
Dean: Give it time, It’ll eat at you
later
Henry: Am I stupid?
Simon: Yeah, a little
Henry: Damn him

Dean: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol.
Dean: You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

Dean: In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, FUCK OFF please.

Dean: I hate you.
Simon: I hate me too.
Dean: Babe no we talked about this.

Dean: accidentally hits Simon in the face
Deans mind: debating whether or not to say “I’m so fucking sorry” And “Are you ok”
Deans mouth: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?
Simon: *confused and Injured W-What?

Simon: Is something burning..?
Dean: leaning seductively against the counter Just my desire for you.
Simon: Dean the toaster is on fire.

Dean: You guys got kicked out of the movies!? What for?
CJ: Henry kept yelling diving scores during the titanic when the people jumped off the boat
Henry: That last guy had a solid 8 lemme tell you

CJ: if someone took Simon what would you do?
Dean: Murder.
Dean: I’d murder them all.

CJ: Hey you awake?
Henry: rolls over and grins yea
CJ and Henry: cuddle
Or
Dean: Hey Simon you awake?
Simon: violent flop turn bitch the fuck you want

CJ turns into a snake
Simon: What a beautiful snek.
Dean: What.
Simon: So smooth. The cutest snek.
Dean: Snake?
Simon: Snek.
Dean: Snake.
Simon: ...snek.
Dean: SNAKE! grabs Henry and points at it
Henry: Oh look a snek.
Dean:

Simon: I don’t really like people, but you’re okay I guess.
Dean: …
Dean: We’re married.

Police Officer: I’m pulling you over because you attempted to drive a motorcycle with three people on it.
Dean, with Simon and CJ behind him: Wait, three?
Police Officer: Yes. You, the guy who looks like he wants to kill me, and the one who might bite me if I get too close.
Dean: HENRY FUCKING FELL OFF?!

Dean on a hunt: Holy shit, a hellhound!
Simon: Dean, what did we say about language?
Dean: Holy shit, a heckhound!

Henry: CJ come cuddle with me please while we watch the Lion King
CJ: Oh well, I do love that movie.
they begin staring romantically at each other while Can You Feel The Love Tonight plays
Dean: Simon, can I treat you to dinner?
Simon: Only if you promise to not drown it in hot sauce again.
they begin making dinner and eventually get in a cute food fight
Madeline, beating Peter with a broom: TAKE! A! SHOWER! YOU! DISGUSTING! CREATURE!
Peter, laughing and trying to kiss her: Only if you take it with me, sweetheart

Dean: We’re lost.
Simon: Lost? As in “where the hell are we”?
Dean: We’re not totally lost. We’re still in the city.
Simon: You said this was a shortcut.
Dean: It is a shortcut! Look how fast we got lost!

Dean: The phrase “hot mess” must have come from me, ‘cause I’m hot and I’m a mess.

Dean: Dating Tip: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other possible dates. Establish dominance.
Simon: Why are we still together?

Dean: You’re everything I could ever want.
Simon: You must have depressingly low standards.

CJ: sees Dean and Simon holding hands So who finally confessed?
Dean: With a proud smile It was me. I made sure it was short and sweet.
Simon: You yelled, “Listen here you little shit I have feelings for you and it’s about time you acknowledge them.”
CJ: ...
Simon: From the roof
Dean: It worked though

CJ: You’re always so calm no matter what happens. How do you do it?
Dean: Eh it’s easy. You just gotta make yourself dead inside. Then it doesn’t matter what happens, good, bad, nothing gets through so nothing bothers you, easy

Dean: But perhaps it is the context that words are spoken that give them their power and meaning
Dean: I LOVE YOU SIMON!!

Dean: I love you
Simon, trying not to tear up: Ha sucks for you bitch

CJ: Tell me Deano, what do you fear?
Dean: I have lived through too much to be afraid of anything. I fear nothing
CJ: What if you woke up one day and you were smaller than Simon?
Dean: I have one fear

Police: Did you kill this man?
Dean: No a bullet killed this man. Bullets are made of lead which comes from the ground. The ground is nature. He died of natural causes, case closed

Dean: How are you feeling?
Simon: I have a headache that comes and goes
Peter: Yo
Simon: Here it comes

Simon: I’m mad at you too
Dean: Me? Why?
Simon: I don’t know yet, I just am

Dean: Si could I have a word with you?
Simon: Are you going to kill me
Dean: What? No. The opposite actually.
Simon: ...I’m going to kill you?

Dean: We look cute together
Simon: I look cute with everyone

Simon: If I run and jump at Dean, he will most certainly catch me in his arms
Simon, running full speed at Dean: INCOMING
Dean: NO! I’M HOLDING MY BEER-!
Dean: drops his beer and catches Simon

Henry: You’re surprisingly mature for your age
Dean: Thanks it’s the trauma

CJ: Chillax!
Dean: That’s not a word
CJ: Sometimes the one who denies the “Chillax”, needs to chillax the most

Dean: You look like my first spouse

Simon: Oh, you’ve been married before?

Dean, smirking: No. 

Simon: *Awkward sputtering* 

Someone flirts with Simon or CJ
Jules: ...You two are really quiet today
Dean: No one plans murder out loud
Henry: Stupid

Simon, nudging Dean away at 4 am: Do you like me?
Dean: I married you
Simon: Yeah but did you marry me as a friend or as a husband. Unclear.

Dean: Sarah can you pass the pepper?
Sarah: What’s the magic word?
Dean:
Dean: starts chanting in Latin
Sarah: SWEET LORD JUST TAKE IT-

Dean: I’m off on a hunt
Simon: Forgetting something?
Dean: Oh yeah Kisses their head
Simon: I meant your wallet. mumbles But thank you

Dean: *Rolls over and knees Simon in the ribs
Simon: Ow
Simon: You kneed me
Dean, sleepily: Yeah, I do need you.

Dean: says anything
Simon: U lil bitch. U R lucky that I love u

Simon: This is Dean
Simon: My husband dean
Simon: Dean
Simon: My husband
Dean: I think they got it babe
Simon: Dean, my husband

Dean: I prevented a murder today
Sarah: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do it?
Dean: Self control

Dean: Making my way downtown
Dean: Walking fast
Dean:
Dean: Walking a little bit slower so my steps match with Simons cause they’re so short.
Simon: FUCK YOU.

Dean: Hey guys has anyone seen my shotgun? It’s missing.
Xavier: Just like your parents
Dean:
Xavier:
Dean: I found the shotgun. Cocks it Run

Dean: Wearing all black
Random human: Pfft. Whose funeral?
Dean, making his gun seen: Yours

Simon: What is the ONE thing I told you not to do?
Dean: Burn the house down.
Simon: And what did you do?
Dean: Made you dinner!
Simon: …
Dean: ...and burned the house down.

CJ: Finally 21! We can do alcohol and drink the beers and the wine. But first, pours apple juice into a shot glass who wants to face me in the shots
Dean: everything you just said is wrong

CJ: Some guy is fistfighting a vending machine.
Simon: Haha, what an idiot.
CJ: He keeps screaming that he needs that Snickers.
Simon: Wait, I told Dean to...oh god it’s my idiot.

Simon: You know, I’m glad we’re keeping our anniversary simple this year
Dean: Ha Ha me too!
Dean: frantically waves off marching band

Simon: I want a divorce!
Dean: We’re not even married!
Simon: aND WHOS FAULT IS THAT?!

Chloe: I bet you have a crush on Dean
Simon: Ha the only crush I have is crushing anxiety
Chloe:
Simon: ...and on Dean

Dean: I feel terrible
Simon: Maybe you should--
Dean: sleeps three hours, eats half a meal per day, randomly goes on walks at 4AM
Simon: What the fuck

Simon: What was that noise?
Dean: Probably just the wind moving through the trees.
Simon: But there’s no trees around the base.
Dean: Fair enough. Then I guess someone is trying to murder me...again.

Dean: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay. Easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.
Dean: “But how?” you may ask. Easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say no thanks.

Dean: I'm in love with you.
Simon: That's a terrible idea.
Dean: Yeah, I have a lot of those.

Henry: bisexuals are not confused
Dean: Bisexuals are not confused
Simon: BISEXUALS. ARE. NOT. CONFUSED
CJ: BISEXUALS ARE NOT CONFUSED THIS IS LIKE THE EASIEST CONCEPT EVER YOU PIECE OF SHIT DOUCHE WAGON WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT IT IT’S INFURIATING
Henry: Idk I’m pretty confused on taxes
Simon: BISEXUALS ARE ONLY SLIGHTLY CONFUSED ABOUT A FEW THINGS
CJ: LIKE TAXES AND AP CALC AND THE OCCASIONAL RIDDLE

Dean: Oh no Simon’s unconscious!
Simon: cracks open their eyes
Dean: I’m going to give them mouth to mouth!
Simon: closes eyes

Dean: What the fuck are you doing?
CJ: I’m building a pillow fort.
Dean: Isn’t that a little childish?
CJ: Does that mean you don’t want to join me?
Dean: ...
CJ: ...
Dean: ...Move over.

Simon: Dean, I love you dearly, but you’re a fucking idiot.
Dean: …That’s fair.

Simon: ...I think you can stop now.
Dean: I just want to be sure.
Simon: You shot them thirty eight times in the head, or what’s left of it. Trust me, they’re very very dead.

Dean: Where’s the nail gun?
Simon: I don’t know, the basement probably.
Dean: Awesome, thanks.
Simon: …why do you want the nail gun?
Dean: Don’t worry about it.
Simon: That...that doesn’t help.

Simon: Hey, can you teach me to shoot a gun?
Dean: I didn’t think you were the murder-type.
Simon: Oh shit no, it’s not for that.
Dean: Then why do you need to learn how to fire a gun?
Simon: Carnival game.
Dean: ...what.
Simon: A carnival game. There’s a prize in one of the stalls and I need it.
Dean: You know you can buy those prizes for cheap online right?
Simon: I can’t do that.
Dean: Why not?
Simon: It’s a matter of pride.

Dean: Look at all the fucks I give!
Dean: Oh crap! They flew away

Dean, after two bottles of vodka: If all catterpillars are gay, then when they turn into butterflies its them “Coming out.”
Simon: Please go to sleep
Dean, halfway through another bottle: But think about it
Simon: Please just SHUT UP

Dean: When I first met you , I did not like you.
Henry: I’m aware of that.
Dean: But then you and I spent some time together.
Henry: Uh-huh?
Dean: It did not get better.

Simon and Dean: loudly screaming
Dean: HOLY SHIT!
Simon: THAT'S A DEAD BODY!
Dean: WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND?
Simon: WHAT? THIS IS NOT THE TIME!
Dean: THEN WHEN IS?
Simon: NOT NOW!
Dean: I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU SIMON.

Dean: Simon, I need the-
Simon: hands him his tablet
Dean: Oh, also, I didn’t have a chance to-
Simon: hands him coffee
Dean: Marry me?
Simon: I took care of that too. We've been married for the last seven years.

Henry, very beat up from a battle: Dean, you have wonderful eyes.
Dean: He’s lost his mind!

Dean: I just heard Simon shouting, “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE MY ROOMBA IS?” and then two minutes later, more quietly, “Aww, poor roomba, how’d you get stuck there sweetie?”

Simon: :(
Dean: God fucking damnit just take my entire bank account just please for the love of god never do that again

Dean: Did it hurt?
Simon: Yes
Dean: Wait Simon, you're supposed to-
Simon: Everything hurts

Simon, T-posing: i am Schrödinger’s gay.
Dean: They mean they're bi.

Lucas: I’m at a | || || |_ for words
Dean, visibly terrified: How did you say that out loud?

Dean: I'm not any good for you.
Simon: Sit down and let me give you my thirty slide PowerPoint presentation about how you’re wrong. Spoiler: pages 2 through 29 are just different ways of me saying I’m needy and I love you.
Dean: And the other two slides?
Simon: An introduction slide and a ‘thanks for watching’ slide, I'm not some animal.

Dean: You'd honestly be a pretty good hunter.
Simon: Really?
Dean: Yeah. hands them a gun
Simon: proceeds to drop it
Dean: ...never mind.

Dean: What do you think about a spring wedding? It won't be too cold or too warm, and the flowers will all be blooming again.
Simon: ...Dean we're not engaged.
Dean: …
Dean: Well shit.
Dean: Knew I forgot to do something yesterday.

Henry: Dean texted me “your adorable” so I texted him back and said “no, YOU’RE adorable”.
CJ: And?
Henry: And now we’re dating. We’ve been on six dates. All I did was point out a typo, but I like him so I’m not gonna say anything.

CJ: Synchronize your watches.
Dean: I don’t know how to do that.
Henry: I don’t have a watch.
Simon: Time is a construct.

Dean: I was attracted to you first.
Simon: Well, I confessed first.
Dean: Well, I asked you out first.
Simon: Well, I said I loved you first.
Dean: Oh. Well…
Dean: gets down on one knee
Dean: I proposed first.
Simon: wAIT WHAT

Simon, completely dead: stomp stomp stomp PAJAMS?
Dean: puts down coffee I'm sorry?
Simon:
Simon: stomps stomps stomps away
Simon: stomps stomps stomps back wearing only Dean’s shirt
Simon: PAJAMS!!
Dean: Why are we married

Dean: Helpful grammar tip: “Farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance.
CJ: …who hurt you?
Dean: My father. Were you not paying attention?

Henry: Okay so we’re playing 2 truths and a lie.
Simon: Awesome, I’ll go first.
Simon: My eyes are blue
Simon: I have a little brother
Simon: And once my ex-boyfriend almost killed me by sending me into a panic attack that although it helped me discover my powers, I almost vibrated through the floor of a five story building and I could have plummeted to my death. Oh, and also he lives in this base.
Dean: Okay Simon, but it's gotta be a little harder than that–
CJ: Their eyes are brown
Dean:
Dean: wHAT

Dean: banging on bathroom door Hurry up!
Henry: You can't rush perfection, Dean.
Dean: I’m not rushing perfection, i'm rushing you.

Madeline, holding Henry hostage: Give us $10,000 and we’ll give him back
Henry, offended: You think I’m only worth $10,000?!
Madeline: What?
Henry: Give me that takes megaphone
Henry: MAKE IT ONE BILLION DOLLARS
Dean, outside: HENRY, SHUT THE FUCK UP

Dean: Did you hang out with Henry last night?
Simon: Oh, yeah, I did.
Dean: Oh! I love Henry!
Simon: You hate Henry.
Dean: YEAH, NO SHIT, HONEY.
~alternatively~
Henry: Did you hang out with Dean last night?
CJ: Oh, yeah, I did.
Henry: Oh! I love Dean!
CJ: You hate Dean.
Henry: YEAH, NO SHIT, HONEY.

Dean, drunk: If you water water, it grows.
Simon: ...what?
Henry, also drunk: Hold on, he’s onto something.

Henry: I only got five hours of sleep last night.
Dean: Ha, I only got three.
CJ: I didn't sleep at ALL.
Simon: stumbles into the kitchen, wearing ripped sweatpants
Simon: pours coffee onto the bottom of a mug
Simon: What day is it?

Satan: Hey remember when you sold me your soul?
Dean: No refunds
Satan, tearing up: Please it’s making me sad

Simon: I’ve been dropping subtle hints that I like Dean
Dean: enters
Simon: go away

Simon: What are you drinking?
Dean: Vodka
Simon: Straight?
Dean: No, bi
Simon: NOT YOU THE VODKA

Group of League Humans: Five things, five things, five things!
CJ: Five things you'd say in the bedroom!
Dean: Fuck!
Group of League Humans: One!
Henry: I'm ready!
Group of League Humans, laughing: Two!
Lucas: Where do I put it?
Group of League Humans, still laughing: Three!
Simon: Who the hell are you?
Group of League Humans: Four!
Chloe: I'm not ready!
Group of League Humans: Five!

Julianna: So which one of you guys is the big spoon and which one is the little spoon?
Simon: Neither. We’re chopsticks.
Julianna: Aw, does that mean you nestle together perfectly?
Dean: No, it means when you take one of us away, the only thing the other one is good for is stabbing.

Henry: Friends, friends, in the tub. I saw your dick, but it's fine: we’re friends!
Lucas: Friends, friends, friends, ohh, don't take a nasty pic. Oh!
Henry: Friends, friends, friends, the loveliest friends you've even seen!
Lucas: Friends, friends friends! Take a giant look at my giant peen, oh!
Dean:
Dean: What the fuck?

Dean: Please, no. I love you.
Simon: I'm sorry, I have to.
Dean: Please, I'm begging you, after all we've been through?
Simon: I'm sorry.
Simon: places draw 4 wild on the deck
Simon: Uno.

Dean, searching for Simon: I LOST MY PARTNER HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?????
Random person ™: what do they look like?
Dean, crying: bEAUTIFUL

Dean: Whats your biggest weakness?
Henry: I can be uncooperative
Dean: Give me an example
Henry: No

Simon: Don’t worry, Dean, I’m fine
Dean: You got shot, Simon, you’re not fine
Simon: I’ve been shot before. So have you, right?
Dean: Its not like you built up an immunity to gunshot wounds

Dean: This has been the stupidest five minutes of my life.
Henry: Your face is the stupidest five minutes of my life.
Dean: ...that doesn't make sense.
Henry: Your face doesn't make sense.
Dean: ...still...no sense.

Simon: I know we don’t always see eye to eye on things-
Dean: That’s because you’re short.
Simon:
Simon: I swear I’m going to punch the next person who jokes about my height.

Dean: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?
Sarah: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.
CJ: Something illegal.
Lucas: Accept my fate.
Simon: I would message ten people saying that if they didn’t forward the message to ten other people, I would die tomorrow.
Dean: What?
CJ: That’s freaking awesome. Can I change my answer?

Dean: Henry, it's not our fault you always get kidnapped.
Henry: I do not ALWAYS get kidnapped! pouts I can't believe you'd say that to me.

Simon: favorite horror movie?
Dean: The Shining.
Henry: IT
CJ: after watching High School Musical i spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and i’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics.

Dean: Why can't I just be cold and heartless like other guys?
Dean: Why must I feel?!

Simon: So how's parenthood treating you?
Dean: Good. I didn’t expect this much crying though
Simon: Don’t worry it’s normal for babies
Dean: what? The baby’s fine. I was talking about Henry
Henry, sobbing from the nursery: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Dean: Who, Henry? Do I have a thing for him? No way!
Simon: …
Dean: ...why did he say something?

Simon: PRANKING DEAN BY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM AND WANTING TO FOREVER BE HIS

Simon, eyes wide and a pout: Pleeease?
Dean: That's Not fair and you know it
Simon: :D

Dean: I despise you. Leave me alone
Henry: I would if you would stop holding my hand-

Henry: I hate seeing you like this
Dean: like How???
Henry: in person

Dean: I think you’re beautiful ;)
Simon: that’s your problem

Simon: Are you a cuddler?
Dean: Simon, I’ve been trained to kill since birth. I’m a literal machine of death and destruction.
Simon:
Dean: God, yes, hold me please.

Henry: If I died, how much would you miss me?
Dean: It’s cute how you think death can get your out of this relationship.

CJ: It’s pride month, you know what that means?
Henry: I get to eat as many skittles as I want?
Simon: What? No. What has Dean been telling you?
Dean, walking in, pouring skittles in his mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch.

Chloe: I accidentally scratched Dean’s car, how long do you think I’ll live?
Simon: Ten
Chloe: Ten what?
Simon: Nine

Dean: So what’s your type?
Henry: Cute, brown hair, green eyes, a little dumb, funny.
Dean: That kinda sounds like me, too bad I’m not a girl.
Henry: I mentioned dumb, right?
Dean: Yeah.
Henry: Just making sure.

CJ: I don’t like assignments that are like “tell us at least 5 things about yourself”, like bruh, my interests are art, cartoons, and girls. That’s literally it.
Dean: Yeah. I’m stuck at the part where you have to make and answer questions about yourself or use a quote.
Dean: Like, bitch, I don’t know.
Simon: I hate those assignments. I have no sense of self, my personality traits include gay, trauma, and, if I’m feeling quirky, unchecked rage.

Dean: I need to get my gun. Simon! holds his hand out
Simon, who had spaced out and missed what he asked for: high-fives Dean

Dean: I don’t know what’s worse. That Henry whistled for me to come over…
Dean: …
Dean: Or that I did it.

Dean: And now that gay report with Simon. Si?
Simon: Getting gayer
Dean: Thank you Si.

Simon: “Yoink” is the opposite of “yeet”, but it’s just as fast.
Lucas: The Lord yeeteth away, and the Lord yoinketh away.
Dean: I feel like I’m having a stroke.

CJ: give someone fire and they’ll be warm for a day
Chloe: set someone on fire and they’ll be warm for the rest of their life
Dean: That’s...thats not how that works

Dean: I just had sex and I'm about to eat NACHOS! IT'S THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!

Simon: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
CJ: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Dean: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Henry: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day

Dean: I think Henry was right.
CJ: I'm surprised he hasn’t marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
CJ: He wouldn't do that.
Henry: You're right, CJ. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Henry: turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says ‘Henry Told You So' on the back

Henry : Wake me up…
CJ: Before you go-go!
Dean : When September ends…
Simon: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

Henry: screams
Dean: screams louder to establish dominance
CJ: Should we do something?
Simon: No, I want to see who wins.

Simon helping CJ out after she gets injured, while the others are watching
Dean: How does CJ look?
Henry: A little better than you, actually.

Simon, setting down a card: Ace of spades
CJ, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Henry, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Dean, trembling: What are we playing

Dean: Can I be frank with you guys?
CJ: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Simon: Can I still be Simon?
Henry: Shh, let Frank speak.

Simon: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
CJ: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Dean : Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
Henry: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Simon: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Henry: Pick a card, any card.
Dean: Fine.
Henry: “Any card” did not include my credit card, kindly hand that back.

Dean: Isn’t the idea supposed to be, “You saved my life, now I owe you a debt”?
Simon: Nope. The other way around. You saved my life, so now I’m your problem. If you don’t like it, then that’s unfortunate.

Dean: Henry, you know I tolerate you, but what you just said would cause a massive change in my life, so I kinda hate you right now, and shut your dirty mouth.
Lucas: I don’t know Dean-o, he might have a point
Dean: Don’t you start Lucas. I have plenty of hate to go around.

CJ: You want to get dinner? I thought you hated me
Dean: I don’t hate you, I just think you’re a moron. Get in the car.

CJ: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work so I asked Henry to periodically send me messages saying “We need to talk”
Dean: ..Why?
CJ: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

Simon: Don’t you dare criticize my boyfriend like that
Dean: Yeah, let Henry show you how to do it

Cj: When I go out, I hope I’ll go just as beautifully
Dean, laughing a bit: I’d really prefer it if you didn’t go at all!
Cj:
Dean:
Dean: Please don’t say stuff like that, even as a joke

Dean: It's nice to be wanted, you know?
Henry: not by the law!

Dean, to Simon, CJ, & Henry: I swear, I’m gonna fucking kill you three.
Simon: Okay, imagine a world without us.
Dean:
Dean, tearing up: Why would you—

Jack: But were you born as a boy or a girl?
Simon: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Logan: Personally, I was created in a lab.
Samantha: I just straight up spawned.
CJ: Our lord and savior Anubis just threw me up.
Becky: My existence is a figment of your imagination.
Dean: I was born at the age of four, my mother being dead at the time.
Chloe: I’m just a rock that grew legs.

Henry drunk texting Dean: Dean I’m being kidnapped, I don’t know where I am or where they’re taking me. Plz send help
Dean, checking his phone & turning around in the driver’s seat. It’s me, dumbass, I’m driving you home.

Dean: Until I fell in love with Henry, I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
Simon: So you were gay and then realized you were even more gay.

Henry: I’m gonna prank him by calling him Dean.
CJ: I don’t get it, his name is Dean.
Dean: walks around the corner
Henry: Hey Dean.
Dean:
Henry: Dean?
Dean: …are you mad at me?
Henry: Oh no, I’m sorry, love, c’mere darlin'.

Henry: You're right.
Dean: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Dean: says something mildly egotistical
Madeline: Oh Hotshot, always has to be on top.
Simon, CJ, & Henry: laughing in the corner

Simon: You have an impressive pain tolerance.
Cas and Dean: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Dean: This is gonna be the worst weekend
Henry:
Henry: It’s tuesday

Henry, texting: Are you in the bathroom with the lights off
Dean, texting: why do you care
Dean, texting: I’m a grown man

Dean: I couldn’t fix him but I think I could top him.

Dean: The word ‘father’ rotted in my mouth

Dean: I have three moods.
Dean: 420,
Dean: 69,
Dean: and 666.

Dean: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Simon: Sure!
Simon: Whats your favorite color?
Dean, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you love me?

Grace: Padre, can you sign something for school?
Dean, shaking his head: If I sign this, you're going to have to learn how to forge my signature. If you sign it from the start, you'll be able to sign whatever you want and they'll never know.

 

He's the only one on the team who actually owns a car. He's also the only one allowed to drive it, although Simon and CJ are also allowed on extremely rare occasion. (not Henry though. never Henry.)