"No you're too young for this scene!" My friend, who's like a few months older than me, covering the TV with a pillow while we were watching Get Smart
"He looks like Oscar from Odd Squad!"
"….And we're talking about kid's shows again." Two of my friends while we were out to eat yesterday and saw a classmate.
"Are you eating cocaine?"- my friend when i saw licking my lips tht were covered in powdered sugar
my response- "No, im snortng it."
one time I ate a bowl of tomato soup with siracha in it at school and then it took until last class for the spiciness to go away.
so story: my friend really likes tomato soup and every lunch everybody gave their soup to her (it came with the grilled cheese the school served) her record is 14 and she almost threw up btw. so one day they were serving the grilled cheese and soup so se was eating it and then all of a sudden says the soup is spicy, so then we come to find out the kid she got it from and so ii grabbed a spoon and (also I cant handle spice too well) tried it and like it was super spicy but it didn't taste bad, so I spent the rest of lunch and recess (for some reason, our principle thought it would be a good idea to give the middle school 8 minutes of recess) trying to finish this spicy af soup in between fanning my mouth and complaining "i want to die!"
“My legs are getting tired.” -my cheer friend sitting upside down on a chair
“That’s why we run laps. So you can hold your feet up in the air while sitting upside down.” -my cheer coach
"I'm high on math." My friend during study hall
relating to the above,
"i think i'm high on something. probably lack of sleep."
and ironically at a different time,
"how many all-nighters have you pulled in a row now?"
"three."
"Where is he?"
"Getting high on Island Margarita hand sanitizer." My teammates about a….certain member of the team.
"Let's play a game called 'How many sketchy fireworks shops can you find?" Me to my friends driving back from TN.
"It's reliable cuz it's shady!!" to the tune of A Winter's Ball Me
oh my god that reminds me,
"what are you doing?"
"sniffing the sharpie"
"why?"
"cuz it helps me get high"
:enter like four other people, all curious and wanting to try
:soon there are like 6 people just sitting in the corner of the classroom sniffing the tops of sharpies
So, we were playing Christian spin the bottle at a retreat, and you just say, “Honey, if u lov me will u pls pls smile” and the other human replied “honey I luv u but I just cant smile” and they dont smile.
So, the kid who spun the bottle, it landed on some other dude, and the spinner was kinda uncomfortable, and he thought it was awkward, and the youngest kid at the retreat (in 6th grade) said (with the utmost real seriousness, not as a joke), “Don’t worry-this doesn’t make you gay.”
Hoo boi
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Um, so in chemistry class last year, we all kind of hated our teacher and we were miserable all year, and to my lab partners, I would constantly threaten to drink the chemicals to end my suffering (only to my good friends who knew I wasn't serious lol).
So one day during lab, I was in a group with 3 other girls- let's call them M, S, and A.
Me: sees a beaker full of a clear liquid sitting on the counter and picks it up. That's it! I'm gonna drink it!
S: Oh, come on. You can't drink that, it's probably hydrochloric acid or something!
A: laughing quietly
Me: Hey, M! You filled this beaker! What's in it?
M: It's just water. I haven't poured the acid solution yet.
Me: See? I would've been fine!
Idk if anyone else finds it funny, but tbh in the moment, we all lost it.
I glance around
ya it was water bro
" when life gets you down, you need to find yourself a girl! AND MAKE SOUP!" -My friend hannah
"oWO Cats. But the cats I draw look edgy. ;-;" -Art friend while trying to draw fur
"Oh yEs dem EdGY BoIs. YEEEEEEEETTT!" -Other art friend in a similar conversation
"You mean them fresh MeMes." Does okay sign -Memelord friend
"I swear if you bring tea one more time I'm going to flip my desk." "We already decided to stop arguing about this." -Friend from second quote and me
Conversation that happened while talking about world backstories:
"Starts speaking in riddles about characters"-Me
"Stop talking in riddles, I'm already confused enough."-friend
"I'm bad at riddles, cri."-other friend while doodling
"Replies in riddles"- Me
"I promise I will flip the desk you're on."-Not doodling friend
"Makes riddle about how friend would be flipping the desk their using too."- Me
"THAT'S IT!" *Attempts to flip over desk- Not doodling friend
It ended with us laughing when I kept them from flipping the desk but fell the moment they stopped trying.
"I swear to god these cheese puffs look like they have Jesus's face inscribed into them"
– my (catholic) friend
In a math class, one kid said "I'm Jewish" and another kid decided to semi quote a vine and said "Oh I thought you were lesbian" and the teacher said "wait what" actually walked out of the class for 5 min
"I swear to god these cheese puffs look like they have Jesus's face inscribed into them"
– my (catholic) friend
This quote just made my day. XD
"I swear to god these cheese puffs look like they have Jesus's face inscribed into them"
– my (catholic) friendThis quote just made my day. XD
lol glad that helped
"can I please have a lesbian latte?"
– my friend at starbucks. god knows what she actually meant to say. The barista burst out laughing. It was great.
"Guys its a ball not a fire." -SomeTallGirlAndShe'sCoolButI'mNotFrensWithHer
“Are you always high?” -my best friend
“Maybe. But if I’m always high then that’s my state of normal so would it really be high?” -me
"kate that's gmo salt"
"shutup it's my husband"
"TaKE THAT TO MY ROBLOX SERVER!!" -Some 17 year old wanna be meme lord… that spots already been taken sadly by the Meme Lord, Sans/ Firebrand.
"this is so sad alexa play the fRICKING FLAMINGO SONG"
whole class bursts out singing it
"Is that packer gear?"
"Yes, I'm going to burn it."
sees an octopus
"is that a spider"
"… no"
"it's a deer, right?"
"…."
"what?"
"George that's… okay nvm"
"You CHEESE HEADS."
"So, we should throw it middle-right-ish, but not back, but not like, right there, and a little left-ish."
"So, the middle?"
"No. Like, left-right,mid-ish."
-Me, being team captain so I had to tell them where to throw the ball.
"You CHEESE HEADS."
I'm a cheese head!!!
"HEY EVERYONE IT'S TIM!"
"OH MY GOD IT'S TIM!"
"Yeah…hi I'm Tim."
"TIIIIIIIM!"
“Ohmygod guys he looks like the penguin dance guy!”
The whole class- “OHMYGOD HE DOES!!” “THE PENGUIN DANCE GUY!!”