forum @Skylark // Private Roleplay

Started March 15, 2021 by @Fraust

tune

"But waiting is hard…" Joey hugged his stomach tightly, obviously upset. "Especially since I'm immortal… I-I mean, I don't think I could wait a hundred years to finally be happy with my body. I'd rather die…"

“I don’t think it will take you a century to be happy, Joey,” Sol replied gently, putting his shirt back on and wrapping his wings back around them and hugging him. “I know the waiting is hard, but you aren’t alone like I was. Support can do a lot, and I promise I’ll be here for you.”

"Mmm…" Joey hiccuped weakly and buried his face in Sol's chest. "It's a lot, though… you shouldn't have to deal with me. It's hard, Sol. My body is trying to destroy itself and I'm encouraging it…"

“That’s exactly why I’m staying, Joey. Nobody should have to fight this alone,” Sol said, running a hand though Joey’s hair comfortingly. “You are not a problem that needs to be dealt with. You are a person who I care about, I am happy to be here for you.”

"Mmm… h-how are you gonna help, though?" He asked, his voice weak and shaky. "What can you do if I… if I don't comply at all? What if I just… keep doing this? I don't know if I can just… I can't just stop…"

“I’ll be here to encourage and listen to you,” Sol answered without hesitation. “I won’t force you to eat or anything like that. If you were to want to go to a doctor, I would support and encourage that path. I can’t fix anything for you, but I can be here.”

Joey huddled a bit closer, still not seeming convinced. "I-I dunno… I just… I dunno what to do, Sol. Obviously the decisions I'm making now aren't the greatest. A doctor would only try and force me to do something I don't want to do."

“There are doctors who specialize in stuff like this, they know it’s harder and won’t force you either, treatment is always the patient’s choice,” Sol explained gently, cradling Joey. “And if you don’t want that yet, or ever, that’s okay. You can only move on with your own consent, estello.”

"I don't want to fix it…" He whispered weakly. "If… if I stop, t-then I'll just hate my body even more, won't I?" He rubbed at his eyes again, wrapping his wings around himself to feel more safe and secure.

“Not necessarily, sweetheart,” Sol murmured, gently stroking Joey’s wing. “When I look at my scars now, I see battles I won, both against others and myself. I am stronger for having fought for my own happiness.”

Joey shook his head a bit and trembled at the touch, hiccuping again. "I-I feel so stupid… no matter what I do, I'm gonna be ugly and disgusting and honestly, what's the point of even trying at this point?"

“I don’t think you are stupid or ugly or disgusting. You are sweet and adorable and considerate,” Sol said firmly, pressing a kiss to Joey’s head. “You try because, whether you see it or not, you are so, so worth it, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”

"No…" Joey whispered. "N-No… there's no hope for me, Sol. It's… it's been going on too long. Too far. My mind doesn't want to change. I don't want to change. There may be a light at the end of the tunnel, but I cannot reach it. I don't have the strength."

“You can borrow my strength, then,” Sol replied softly, feeling helpless to comfort Joey. “It is never, ever too late, estello.”

Joey rubbed at his tears again and looked away, his cheeks and nose blotched with pink. His eyes were empty and broken, and he just looked defeated. "I don't know that there's anything you can do. Anything either of us can do."

“There is always hope, estello,” Sol said softly. “No matter how dark it seems.”
He gently tilted Joey’s face to look him in the eyes, hating the hopelessness he saw there. Wordlessly, he pressed kisses to his forehead, nose, and cheeks.

Joey looked up at Sol weakly, his hair disheveled. He was limp and seemed exhausted, both from crying and from the elixir. He just wanted to sleep and forget that he existed for a while. "I'm sorry…"

“Shh, sweetheart, it’s okay,” Sol murmured. “Want to go lay down? I have a round bed like yours with lots of pillows, I know the elixir can make you tired.”

"O-Okay…" He whispered in reply, burying his face in Sol's shoulder and holding tightly to him. "I am really sorry, though… you shouldn't have to deal with this."

“I’m not ‘dealing’ with anything. I am here with you by my own desire,” Sol said resolutely. He stood, Joey in his arms, and went to his room Gently laying Joey in the bed, his heart clenched at how tired and sorrowful the other appeared. “Let me know if you need anything, okay, estello?”

"Okay…" Joey huddled up under the covers, his wings puffing up again as he burrowed into them and shifted to get more comfortable. He eventually settled, although it took him a little while to manage to drift off into a fitful sleep.

Sol went to his office while Joey slept to make a call to his sister. He told her what was happening without giving her all the details and let her know he wouldn’t be able to work for a while.

“I understand, Sol, take care of your angel.”

“Thanks, sis, let me know if anything urgent comes up.”

“Will do.”

Joey curled up into a tight ball in his sleep, obviously still uncomfortable and upset. He couldn't imagine how his life was going to change now that Sol was in it, but it definitely worried him. He didn't know what he was going to do, honestly. It took him a few hours to stir again and he groaned, glancing around blearily.

Sol was in his office, having tried to get work done while Joey slept. Leaning back in his chair, he rubbed his face. He was worried, both about Joey and about how quickly he had grown attached.
He sighed, “It’s only been a couple days, we hardly know each other. I can’t act as though I have sway in his life. I’m definitely being too much… but I don’t want him to be alone. What’s the matter with me? Stars, what do I do…”

Joey carefully got out of bed and looked down at his disheveled clothes. After a few seconds, he looked over at the door, locked it, and changed into some of Sol's clothes. Hopefully he won't mind… He headed out of the room in a massive hoodie and some shorts that he could adjust enough to not fall from his slim waist. "Sol…?"

Hearing Joey’s voice, Sol rose and came out of his office. “Hey, Joey, did you-“ he froze at the sight of Joey in his hoodie. Why did it make him so happy? “-sleep well. Did you sleep well?” he managed to finish.

"I slept okay… I hope you don't mind; I borrowed some of your clothes. My own were a bit sweaty and gross from crying…" He laughed weakly, toying with the oversized sleeves as they tumbled over his hands. "I'm feeling a little better now."

“I’m glad,” Sol replied, smiling softly at Joey. “And I don’t mind at all.” You look cute, he almost added. “What would you like to do now?”

"I'm not really sure. I'm alright with anything." Joey held one sleeve covered hand up to his face and drew in a deep breath, closing his eyes. It smells like him… ah, stop that! He flushed red and looked away. "Do you have anything in mind?"

“We could watch a movie,” Sol offered. “Or read. Whatever you want, really.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of Joey, the other looked so good in his hoodie. He smells like me… no, nope, stop it, Forest