Wordlessly, Sol retracted his wings for a moment so he could tug off the long sleeved t-shirt he was wearing. Covering his torso and arms were scars of all shapes and sizes, some were white and taunt against his tan skin, others obviously old burns. With a roll of his shoulders, Sol extended his wings once more and took Joey’s small hand, placing it over a large scar just under his collarbone.
Joey hiccuped weakly and started examining the scars, allowing Sol to hold onto his hand for the time being. "I-I've got a couple like that too…" He whispered. "How did you get yours? Couldn't your friend make you an elixir to heal them?"
Sol smiled slightly. “If I had done something when I had received the injury, they could have been healed, but there’s not much to be done now,” he said. “Back then I… did not want to be healed. I thought I deserved every scar, that they showed how weak and undesirable I was and could serve as a warning to myself and others.”
Joey nodded a bit, resting his head on Sol's shoulder. He wasn't comfortable taking off his own shirt to show Sol his scars. "Y-Yeah, I… uh… I get that…" He replied weakly.
“It took me a long time before I was able to see myself differently” Sol said softly. “Before I could look in the mirror and see past any lack of muscle and all my scars and really see myself, but I got there. I know you can, too.”
"But waiting is hard…" Joey hugged his stomach tightly, obviously upset. "Especially since I'm immortal… I-I mean, I don't think I could wait a hundred years to finally be happy with my body. I'd rather die…"
“I don’t think it will take you a century to be happy, Joey,” Sol replied gently, putting his shirt back on and wrapping his wings back around them and hugging him. “I know the waiting is hard, but you aren’t alone like I was. Support can do a lot, and I promise I’ll be here for you.”
"Mmm…" Joey hiccuped weakly and buried his face in Sol's chest. "It's a lot, though… you shouldn't have to deal with me. It's hard, Sol. My body is trying to destroy itself and I'm encouraging it…"
“That’s exactly why I’m staying, Joey. Nobody should have to fight this alone,” Sol said, running a hand though Joey’s hair comfortingly. “You are not a problem that needs to be dealt with. You are a person who I care about, I am happy to be here for you.”
"Mmm… h-how are you gonna help, though?" He asked, his voice weak and shaky. "What can you do if I… if I don't comply at all? What if I just… keep doing this? I don't know if I can just… I can't just stop…"
“I’ll be here to encourage and listen to you,” Sol answered without hesitation. “I won’t force you to eat or anything like that. If you were to want to go to a doctor, I would support and encourage that path. I can’t fix anything for you, but I can be here.”
Joey huddled a bit closer, still not seeming convinced. "I-I dunno… I just… I dunno what to do, Sol. Obviously the decisions I'm making now aren't the greatest. A doctor would only try and force me to do something I don't want to do."
“There are doctors who specialize in stuff like this, they know it’s harder and won’t force you either, treatment is always the patient’s choice,” Sol explained gently, cradling Joey. “And if you don’t want that yet, or ever, that’s okay. You can only move on with your own consent, estello.”
"I don't want to fix it…" He whispered weakly. "If… if I stop, t-then I'll just hate my body even more, won't I?" He rubbed at his eyes again, wrapping his wings around himself to feel more safe and secure.
“Not necessarily, sweetheart,” Sol murmured, gently stroking Joey’s wing. “When I look at my scars now, I see battles I won, both against others and myself. I am stronger for having fought for my own happiness.”
Joey shook his head a bit and trembled at the touch, hiccuping again. "I-I feel so stupid… no matter what I do, I'm gonna be ugly and disgusting and honestly, what's the point of even trying at this point?"
“I don’t think you are stupid or ugly or disgusting. You are sweet and adorable and considerate,” Sol said firmly, pressing a kiss to Joey’s head. “You try because, whether you see it or not, you are so, so worth it, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
"No…" Joey whispered. "N-No… there's no hope for me, Sol. It's… it's been going on too long. Too far. My mind doesn't want to change. I don't want to change. There may be a light at the end of the tunnel, but I cannot reach it. I don't have the strength."
“You can borrow my strength, then,” Sol replied softly, feeling helpless to comfort Joey. “It is never, ever too late, estello.”
Joey rubbed at his tears again and looked away, his cheeks and nose blotched with pink. His eyes were empty and broken, and he just looked defeated. "I don't know that there's anything you can do. Anything either of us can do."
“There is always hope, estello,” Sol said softly. “No matter how dark it seems.”
He gently tilted Joey’s face to look him in the eyes, hating the hopelessness he saw there. Wordlessly, he pressed kisses to his forehead, nose, and cheeks.
Joey looked up at Sol weakly, his hair disheveled. He was limp and seemed exhausted, both from crying and from the elixir. He just wanted to sleep and forget that he existed for a while. "I'm sorry…"
“Shh, sweetheart, it’s okay,” Sol murmured. “Want to go lay down? I have a round bed like yours with lots of pillows, I know the elixir can make you tired.”
"O-Okay…" He whispered in reply, burying his face in Sol's shoulder and holding tightly to him. "I am really sorry, though… you shouldn't have to deal with this."
“I’m not ‘dealing’ with anything. I am here with you by my own desire,” Sol said resolutely. He stood, Joey in his arms, and went to his room Gently laying Joey in the bed, his heart clenched at how tired and sorrowful the other appeared. “Let me know if you need anything, okay, estello?”