Raz went off to look around for a bit while Jay talked to the woman up front , staying within earshot. He watched carefully from the corner of his eye as she practically draped herself on the counter in front of Jay. He almost laughed aloud as she dropped her voice down. Raz wouldn't consider himself the jelous type but he did have his limits. He looped his arm with Jay's and gently tugged him towards the door "let's look somewhere else, I don't think there's anything in here Lo or Jackson would like."
"Now hold on a second, I haven't had a chance to look. You stay here, I'll only be a minute." Jay patted Raz's shoulder and walked off to look around. The cashier smiled at Raz, although much faker than with Jay. "Are you two friends? What brings you here?"
Raz sighed softly and nodded, watching as Jay walked off before turning his attention to the woman, glaring at her and offering just as far as a smile as she was giving him. "No, actually. We just got married." He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter, toying with a small trinket. "We're here on our honeymoon."
"Oh? Married? Well, congratulations." The fake sweetness in her tone was obvious, trying to mask her own anger and jealousy. "Well, I do hope you decide to come back. You two seem to be a very…sweet couple."
Raz shrugged "I doubt it." Raz replied bluntly, shrugging his shoulders and setting the trinket down. "Like I said before, there's nothing of interest in here. Though you seem to find your customers very interesting, don't you?"
"Of course I do. Is it so wrong of me to admire what is beautiful?" Her eyes flicked back over to Jay, sighing in near adoration. "It's rare for such a sight to walk in, you won't judge me for staring, will you?"
"of course not. You can stare all you want." He glanced over at Jay, his expression softening as he watched Jay. "I draw the line when you start flirting and displaying yourself to him." He growled softly over his shoulder, "Leave my husband alone." He said, shoving off the counter and heading to the door to wait for Jay outside. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, his jaw clenching painfully for a moment. He shook his hands out, finding that he had dug his nails into his palm almost to the point of breaking the skin.
Jay joined him a minute later, disregarding the woman when she called her goodbyes as his face twisted in worry. "Raz, honey, is everything alright? Did something happen?" His tone was soft, gently stroking his cheek in concern.
Raz glanced up and shook his head "no, no, everything's fine, probably just jet lag or something." He gave a Jay a tight smile and pressed a kiss to his hand "I'm fine, did you find anything?" He asked, nodding to the door, glaring at the woman in the window before returning his attention to Jay.
"Nah, not really. Sorry for wasting your time love." He laughed, pulling Raz out of the shop. "Well, we can try somewhere else. Or we can head back and order some dinner if the jetlag is getting to you that much."
Raz shook his head "it's ok, I didn't mind. It was…interesting." he said with a tilt of his head and slight sigh. "Let's keep exploring the shops, we still have a few more hours before we have to eat." He said, not wanting to go back to the hotel while feeling guilty.
"Well, if you say so. Come on, I think I saw something sparkly with Logan's name on it over there." Jay pointed to the other side of the boardwalk with a chuckle.
"he'll definately like something sparkly." Raz agreed, taking a deep breath and following Jay to the other side of the boardwalk. Jay's demeanor was infectious and soon his guilt dissipated as they explored around the beaches and boardwalk shops
Jay picked up a few things for their friends back home but mostly just enjoyed exploring the beach with his husband. But by the time the sun was dipping down over the horizon, his feet were starting to ache. "Hey, it's getting late, we should head back."
Raz nodded, pressing a kiss Jay's cheek. "And I'm getting hungry. Can't wait to see what delicious food the hotel offers." He gently rested his head on Jay's arm and sighed, swinging the small bag of trinkets and souvenirs they had bought
"Oh I'm sure it'll be wonderful, that's without a doubt." Jay assured, guiding Raz back to their hotel room and dropping back onto the bed with a relieved sigh. "Ah, that's better."
Raz smiled fondly at his husband and sat beside him on the bed, thoughts of what had happened earlier coming back.
"Hey love," he bit his lip, unsure how he could ask his question. "How did you feel when I told you I had Logan move in with me?"
Jay raised an eyebrow at him. "The first time or when I actually met him? Because those are two very different answers." He couldn't help but wonder just where Raz was going with this line of questioning.
"uhm, both." He replied, hugging a pillow to his chest and resting his head back against the headboard of the bed. "I know when you first came home you weren't entirely thrilled."
"Well that's true. When you first told me I was a little unsure about it but I know how lonely it gets waiting for people to come home and I know what this job does so I didn't mind that much. But when I got home and saw how close you two were as roommates compared to how close we were as lovers, I wasn't too happy about it. I'll admit, I was jealous. He got the time that I didn't, that I wasn't allowed. Why do you ask?"
He nodded slowly as Jay explained and took a deep breath "very recently I find myself getting jealous. But not the same as you I guess. Is it normal to feel it so strongly?" He asked, glancing over at Jay.
"If it was recently, I'd definitely say so. We were engaged, I've been home for a while, the connection is stronger. So of course it's normal." He was a bit lost in thought as he answered but when he realized what Raz asked, his eyes widened. "Wait, recently? Did something really happen and you didn't tell me?"
He hummed softly as Jay replied, feeling slightly more reassured. He shifted on his side to face Jay and glanced away guiltily. "Yeah, kinda. I didn't want to worry you and I thought it was something I could just push aside." He explained softly, now feeling worse for not confiding in Jay.
"Worry me? Raz, sweetheart, I'm always worried about you. Worried if you're alright, if you're safe, if you think this was all some big mistake. I'm not going to stop being worried about you, probably ever. We literally got married this morning. If you don't feel like you can talk to me about anything now, when will you?"
"I- I don't know, Jay. I'm not used to talking to someone about how I feel or what I think, not even to Logan. I just learned to push all that aside and deal with it on my own time." He took a deep breath, "it was selfish anyways. I can't control what other people do around you. It's just that When I saw what that woman was doing i…" He trailed off and buried his face into the sheets.
