hi old friends my psychiatrist just cancelled our appointment that was supposed to be tomorrow and postponed it until january 29th and i wanted to get adhd meds before finals were finished but now i likely won't even get them before next semester starts, that is, unless i do what i always have to do and call his office and ask "can you prescribe me (insert medication here)" and go through his nurses as middlemen for a few days because i have to do everything myself because my psychiatrist doesn't do his job and the issue this time is that i don't even know what medication i need because vyvanse is too expensive and concerta makes my tourettes so bad i can't function and i have a few in mind so i can't just go "prescribe me all three and let me sample them like charcuterie!!!" because that's not how that works and aaaaagggghhhhhhh i've been struggling so much and waiting eagerly for this appointment for weeks and nope! no nothing can ever just be simple "yes let's make the mentally unstable 20-year-old try to navigate our bs healthcare system on her own because she's in such a good place to do that and her mental health isn't my priority even though i'm a psychiatrist and she's my patient"
Sounds like you should have someone help you look into finding a different psychiatrist, a psychiatrist that's willing to listen to and work with you.
there are no other psychiatrists around here that take my insurance and are accepting new patients, i had to get hospitalized to even get in with this guy. i don't have a car so anyone far out of my area isn't an option
I can not fathom how I thought that I had a good home life as a kid.
Well I know how, I had older siblings that took most of the heat and I basically got to raise myself and a child that is left to wander in imagination is a child that believes it is happy.
I know this place is bad and I know my Mother is an awful Parent. So it makes me feel extra bad when I try to save her relationship with my sister and she ends up hurting. I fought so hard for that phone call to happen so freaking hard, It took a pep talk it took consoling and reassuring her and just so freaking much effort, because I know, I freaking know that she hates talking to mom I know it takes her days to get over it, But I convinced her to call mom anyway because I thought maybe it would be different this time. "Mom was just talking about how she was sad that none of her kids call home so maybe she'd be to excited that one of them is that she wont criticize her life and insecurities and belittle her. And maybe if Lindsey Calls her she wont be so mad and upset at me all the time." Well guess freaking what. it didn't freaking work.
And so I sent My best friend AKA My sister into a mental state that is not good, and My mother is now complaining about how her daughter is so useless and indecisive and doesn't care about others. And I get to hear about it, "I can't believe your sister is such a baby maybe we should just cut her off and make her grow up" Well you know what mom I am actively trying to make sure she doesn't cut you off because that means cutting me off because I freaking live with you and I wont ever get to see her. Tough love isn't bullying your kid. So don't tell me you love me as you sharpen your blade of words and press it to my skin. This isn't what love looks like, And if it is what love looks like than I don't want it.
welp
today is my next therapy session
hopefully I’ll be able to come up with a good enough excuse so I don’t have to come out yet
If word gets out I-
I’m in so much trouble?!
My friends would never speak to me again,
Would they though? Bc I still hang with you.
Yeah but you've had a lot of exposure therapy, and the fact that we're all writers like you gave us a commonality and a reason for you to like us. And we would debate with you
welp
today is my next therapy session
hopefully I’ll be able to come up with a good enough excuse so I don’t have to come out yet
If word gets out I-
I’m in so much trouble?!
My friends would never speak to me again,
Would they though? Bc I still hang with you.
Yeah but you've had a lot of exposure therapy, and the fact that we're all writers like you gave us a commonality and a reason for you to like us. And we would debate with you
If anyone writes you out of their life, the way I see it, they were never truly your friends to begin with. A true friend would love you and accept you for who you are. They'd support you. It's just another aspect of who you are for them to love!
happy + sad vent time:
both of my dads forgot my birthday so i have to celebrate it online
i guess it's better than not celebrating it at all but still, i wish they had remembered bbjfbek
they always have really fun plans for my birthday
but at least my best friend got me a present- in fact i plan on trying it today
he bought me a copy of danganronpa v3 for my ps4 so i can play it- this is gonna be fUn
echjbche ty guys
i'm kinda late for my birthday (it was actually on thanksgiving-) but still, tHanks
Okay…. Happy very belated day of birth then and your welcome!
Very tired aha, how about you?
Yeah lmao same
Still grieving Unus Annus
Oof… Yeah, I understand stand that
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
why me?
WHY ME?
I JUST WANNA PUNCH SOMETHING, ANYTHING!
I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY
Oof I’m also grieving Unus Annus :’)
USELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSELESSUSUSELESSELESSUSELESSUSELESS
Everything's useless, so why bother?
Oof I’m also grieving Unus Annus :’)
Oh god so few people irl watched it I’m so glad some of you guys do
Everything's useless, so why bother?
What’s up??
WELL
MY GF'S MOM FOUND OUT ABOUT US AND NOW SHE'S making us break up. AGAIN.
IT JUST PISSES ME OFF.
Sorry… I'm just upset.
I'm just…
I'm not in a good headspace rn…
bchjwbkw my dads just got mad at me for celebrating my birthday late
like,,, YOU'RE the ones who forgot my birthday so i'm just tryna celebrate it with my peeps online but they wanna come up and legit talk down to me just because of THEIR mistake??? seriously idk wtf their problem is i'm just trying to play drv3 in pEace
