forum The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :)

Started April 21, 2018 by @Tylerrr-M-P

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Goodmorning everyone :)
I'll try to keep this short, since I know some of you aren't Christian and I don't wanna clog the chat too much.

This Sunday morning, some of you are going to church, as per the Christian tradition. As Christians, we delight in worship, reading God's word, and fellowship with other believers. As we grow with God, it's becoming increasingly difficult to reconcile our identities with the confusing message coming from many pulpits today- "being LGBTQ is a sin."

Many queer, trans, and gender non-conforming Christians are having difficulty understanding God's heart on this matter. Christians who are out are encouraged to enroll in ex-gay ministries or other conversion therapies (yes, they're still around), lose their positions of service in their church, lose friends and family, and at worst are excluded altogether. Closeted Christians face a constant internal conflict- it's either keep your relationship with God and your church family or be yourself. The teaching of "being LGBTQ is a sin" has caused damage and heartbreak in the lives of many, leading people to fall away from God instead of grow closer, which is why I don't believe this can logically be God's will. Jesus is redemptive- God's story is about radical inclusion and transformation, not exclusion and suppression.
Here are a few recourses for LGBTQ Christians looking to reconcile their faith with their identities.

The Reformation Project's mission is to advance LGBTQ inclusion in the church. If you scroll down to "Breif Biblical Case", you'll see some compelling arguments and observations using the Bible to show support of same-sex marriage. They mostly address same-sex relationships, but they're also in full support of trans and gender non-conforming identities.
Here's their YouTube channel if you're into lectures:
The Reformation Project's YouTube channel
The founder, Matthew Vines (a gay pastor) also has a YouTube channel: Matthew Vines

If you're looking for transgender recourses, I found a lovely YouTube channel owned by Austen Hartke, a trans man with a Master's degree in Biblical studies (iirc). He has a playlist of short videos about being transgender and Christian:
Transgender and Christian

These come from secular websites, but still make good points:
The Human Rights Campaign
The Trevor Project

I'm still being introduced to these beliefs, and reconciling my own internal LGBTQphobia, but I feel like these beliefs better reflect the heart of God (and are more logical) than what so many of us have been taught. I feel closer to God now than I did when I believed our identities were inherently wrong. You aren't alone as a queer person of faith. Feel free to ask me questions. Love you guys <3

-your sibling in Christ :)

<3<3<3<3<3

Thanks I’ve never really found good resources before so this’ll be helpful <3

Thanks I’ve never really found good resources before so this’ll be helpful <3

Y’all the other day my mum asked where she went wrong in raising me for the first time

my parents have been saying that a lot about us recently
it kind of hurts if I’m being honest
but I like to try and use it as motivation, to remind me why I will never be like them

I'm sorry, but if you say things like that to your kids, you're a bad parent. If you really felt like a failure at parenting, like you've wronged your child in some way, you'd probably make an effort to fix it, and you wouldn't tell your child about that. "Where did I go wrong?" is a thinly veiled "I don't like certain things about you, but I was a good parent so I don't get why you're like this."
It's super messed up. Don't believe a word they say. Just stick to being you.

Coming from someone who lives in a mormon household, I really needed that <3

I'm sorry, but if you say things like that to your kids, you're a bad parent. If you really felt like a failure at parenting, like you've wronged your child in some way, you'd probably make an effort to fix it, and you wouldn't tell your child about that. "Where did I go wrong?" is a thinly veiled "I don't like certain things about you, but I was a good parent so I don't get why you're like this."
It's super messed up. Don't believe a word they say. Just stick to being you.

this is actually gaslighting, a very common trend in emotional abuse. Turning the blame onto someone who never did anything wrong in the first place. Anyways if any of y'alls parents are this bad, I guess I'm adopting you or at least being your crazy aunt with 10 cats cause I don't have that much responsibility

Yeah, no. Gaslighting is a real thing, a subtle thing, and it's the worst. My mom does it to me, but very subtly, so y'know, I thought I was just crazy or hitting my "rebellious phase" or something.

Yeah, no. Gaslighting is a real thing, a subtle thing, and it's the worst. My mom does it to me, but very subtly, so y'know, I thought I was just crazy or hitting my "rebellious phase" or something.

the worst part is it can be difficult to see until its already done some damage. Especially if the person doing it is very subtle. Luckily my flatmate was not to subtle and we managed to get rid of them really fast, but esp when its family doing it that's usually not the case

Yeah, for sure. Luckily I'm halfway out of the house, so that's cool. I also have a good temporary way out and a good support system elsewhere, so I know I'm one of the luckier ones. It really helps to have people validate your struggles.

The people who tried to “turn me straight again” were so fucking subtle about it
Like the whole time I wasn’t even sure if that’s actually what they were doing. Pretty sure the fact that I was in shock also contributed though.

Off topic, but have y'all read any good queer middle grade?

RICK!!! It's so good I loved it, I wish baby me had found it and not 17 year old me

I can't wait to read that one!!

Not in like a "it's not meaningful to me because I'm not in middle school" way, in a "I needed that book earlier before I made a bunch of questionable choices and had some toxic relationships" way

sO "tHey saiD soMethinG tO tHey"?

I don't get why some people make such a big deal about using they/them pronouns to refer to someone, it's not that hard? Like, saying "they want to come over today" instead of "he wants to come over today" is a super fucking easy shift
Also uh just know some basic grammar, bud, literal elementary schoolers know that it's him/her/them and not him/her/they, it's basic conjugation. Sorry you forgot 12 years of education just to be a dick to nonbinary people :/

It's also.. already a thing. Like. We say it anyway

Yeah, you don't go "the mailman drove HIS OR HER car over to HIS OR HER house"

the “his or her” thing annoys the crap out of me
just say their
even if you think trans people are evil and sinful for whatever reason, saying “they” isn’t supporting them, it’s just using basic grammar
by switching it you’re going out of your way to be a dick

Mmmhmm
I don't get why you'd go out of your way to be a dick to trans people, do you really hate them that much?? Also it just makes you look kinda dumb when you purposely misuse grammar to dehumanize them

I wanna shout out my mom, who didn't get it at first while watching project runway (they had a nonbinary model) but after that episode she got it right for the rest of the season and referred to them correctly. If my boomer parents can learn it so can everyone else >.>

p r e a c h