TW: kind of a vent about parents
Also am I low key about to cry looking at the converse pride collection and knowing I won't be able to buy any because it's doubtful my parents will let me come out fully socially until I go to college? Yes, yes I am.
It just kinda hit me that my parents (or my dad at least) kind of thinks it's a phase, or are hoping I'll marry a man so it won't even matter.
It hurts seeing people who's parents will put in the work of trying to understand their sexuality, either by asking them or looking it up in their own time. I know I'll probably never get anything like that.
But at least my mom did actually remember my sexuality, so that was nice
Ooh I get it. Note-if it feels like I am barging in, please let me know, I would hate to bludgeon your conversations with my social maladaption. But in all honesty, I can understand where you’re coming from. I used to look at all sorts of pride things and wish desperately that I could be part of that. That I could be open about who I was. Now, I’ve been living on my own for three years and I’ve been on T for two so I’m very lucky to be where I’m at. But I remember that my parents would go with our church to pride parades in order to protest, in order to scream profanities and purvey disgusting slurs at those poor people, thinking we were saving them. Seriously, my parents were hardcore about gay and queer things. But trust me, it does get better. I’m so much better now, even with all the internalized queerphobia I’m better than I ever was living with them. You will be able to move out someday and you will be able to live the life you were always meant to. You will find community and wholeness, there are people out there who will love you as you are and not expect more or less.
And I know it hurts now. But there is a future for you, if you just wait a little longer. Waiting hurts, but it’s worth it for the love you will find one day.
I didn't really come out until my second year of college. It's doesn't always feel good to have to wait, but when you get there, I can assure you that not only will you be able to more fully be yourself, but you will find people who you care about as much as family if not more, and they'll return that sentiment.
My parents don't know. I don't think they'd approve, like at all. And because I'm engaged to a guy (read: I am a genderflux afab marrying an enby amab, and we're both bisexual as all fuck), there's also the chance they'd think I'm attention-seeking.
It's really hurtful, it's really sad that a lot of our parents don't actually show love as unconditionally as they claim to.
But I promise things get better! You will eventually be set free of the expectations they hold for you, and while it kind of hurts knowing that they may never approve, either they'll come around or they won't, but that'll prove whether they're good people who love their child no matter what or not. It's no reflection of your worth.
Of course, it's only natural to be jealous of those with supportive parents. I think we all share that sentiment, at least a little.
(And trust me. Going crazy going stupid obtaining pride merch behind your parents' backs in college is fun af. It's something to look forward to lmao)
Eeeeee thanks you guys this really helped a lot <3
I'm constantly somewhere between "I hate skirts" and "I want to go to Hot Topic and buy a skirt so I can wear it with rainbow over-the-knee socks and Doc. Martens" and although I have a coupon for Hot Topic, I'm otherwise broke
I'm constantly somewhere between "I hate skirts" and "I want to go to Hot Topic and buy a skirt so I can wear it with rainbow over-the-knee socks and Doc. Martens" and although I have a coupon for Hot Topic, I'm otherwise broke
me too, I see girls wearing them and im like "thats so pretty, I want one" but my gender flips so often its a problem and I dont think i'd be comfortable overall.
I'm constantly somewhere between "I hate skirts" and "I want to go to Hot Topic and buy a skirt so I can wear it with rainbow over-the-knee socks and Doc. Martens" and although I have a coupon for Hot Topic, I'm otherwise broke
me too, I see girls wearing them and im like "thats so pretty, I want one" but my gender flips so often its a problem and I dont think i'd be comfortable overall.
Saaaame like I plan an outfit with a skirt and then the next day when I actually try to wear it I’m like “no I hate it :)”
I actually did wear a skirt this week tho and I felt really hot ngl XD
I'm constantly somewhere between "I hate skirts" and "I want to go to Hot Topic and buy a skirt so I can wear it with rainbow over-the-knee socks and Doc. Martens" and although I have a coupon for Hot Topic, I'm otherwise broke
me too, I see girls wearing them and im like "thats so pretty, I want one" but my gender flips so often its a problem and I dont think i'd be comfortable overall.
Saaaame like I plan an outfit with a skirt and then the next day when I actually try to wear it I’m like “no I hate it :)”
I actually did wear a skirt this week tho and I felt really hot ngl XD
aha I hate skirts because my lower body gives me severe
✨gender dysphoria✨
along with the rest of my body
um i don’t want to tell my friends this because they will be so worried they might die but i had a self harm relapse and its kind of getting bad again and i don’t know what to do
um i don’t want to tell my friends this because they will be so worried they might die but i had a self harm relapse and its kind of getting bad again and i don’t know what to do
oh my-
I cant give advice on that, considering that's an issue I still have myself-
Okay well as someone who’s going on just above a month maybe I can help?
Honestly it’s getting really really hard to stay clean again but every time I feel like it I distract myself with one of my comfort movies and that usually works, plus I make it feel like it’s inaccessible (as in, since it’s usually at night, I’ll make sure everything is out away and I get into bed and turn off the light and that seems to do something to my brain and calms me down
Also, when I feel up to it, I take a shower to try and ground myself. Also ice and ice water have helped, and maybe something artistic? I like collaging so I usually put on a longer markiplier video and do that
There’s probably more I can think of, tell me what you need <3
And then you'd do it for her,
that's how you know you can win,
you'd do it for her,
that is to say
you'd
do it for him.
When you live for someone
you're prepared to
die.
im not allowed to watch tv after seven and thats when it usually happens
my dad also makes me stay upstairs which isn’t helpful in the least
and with summer break coming up im going to have to wear short sleeves
sorry I sing Steven Universe songs to myself to comfort myself :p
Two of my friends started dating each other and I'm so happy but also lonely :(
With my short existence,
I can make a difference,
I can be there for him,
I can be his knight,
I can do it for him,
you'd do it for her,
can you do that again?
yes ma'am
you'd do it for her,
and now you say
you'd do it for him.
im not allowed to watch tv after seven and thats when it usually happens
my dad also makes me stay upstairs which isn’t helpful in the least
and with summer break coming up im going to have to wear short sleeves
Hmm okay, what do you have in your room then? Like what do you think you could use to distract yourself?
Also ofc this is the extreme but maybe soon if there’s day where you’re feeling particularly determined to stay clean, you can bring yourself to throw everything out (obviously I know this is probably impossible but it would help)
im not allowed to watch tv after seven and thats when it usually happens
my dad also makes me stay upstairs which isn’t helpful in the least
and with summer break coming up im going to have to wear short sleeves
Hmm okay, what do you have in your room then? Like what do you think you could use to distract yourself?
Also ofc this is the extreme but maybe soon if there’s day where you’re feeling particularly determined to stay clean, you can bring yourself to throw everything out (obviously I know this is probably impossible but it would help)
loud music helps but my dad hates that
(can you tell he’s the root of the problem)
usually i do it in the bathroom and obviously i can’t not go to the bathroom.
drawing helps some
its just so hard to get it out of my head after i think of it
Yeah ofc, I understand
Maybe, since it’s in the bathroom, you could try some cold/hot water to clear your head? Obviously using hot water is a different type of sh but it’s not as bad and when it gets really bad, it may just satisfy the feeling enough to be able to distract yourself?
okay thank you so much
i will try that
Okay :) lmk if it helps and I’m always here <3
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