forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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"And so she asked me out, right. And there you go, fellas. I don't know what else to tell you. I'm really gay."

"I'm a toaster that can hold four waffles at once"

“I think grandpa is high.”

"I'm not a slut for chocolate, but I'm definitely a slut for vanilla. Like, if chocolate wanted a one night stand with me, I wouldn't turn it down. But if vanilla wanted me at all, I'd track it down and be like gestures to myself "Let's go. Right now." "

-conversation I had with my friend in line at Tims

Same tho lmao

"So, Grandpa, did you sign up for the physical therapy boxing league? Cuz I think your first fight was against Doorknob Man, and it looks like he won by a long shot."

"Monezuma the second? More like MoNoKuMAAAAAA!"
~me in social studies

My brother- I wonder what type of materials are best for boat building?
Me- Whatever floats your boat

Grandma- I wonder if clogs (Dutch wooden shoes) are comfortable?
Me- Wooden shoe like to know?

Me- finds pop rivet on the floor and proceeds to take it up to my teacher’s desk This class is riveting

So that’s the pun section let’s see what else I’ve got

My friend- I’m gonna break your nico nico kneecaps
Me- Words cannot describe just how disappointed I am in you right now

Me @ friend in sixth grade- Imma eat your middle finger so you can’t be profane

Me- What if we killed insert friend’s name as a senior prank?
Friend we planned to kill- You can’t kill me
Me- Yeah I can. I’ll inject your veins with air so you’ll have a stroke and no one will suspect a thing.
Friend we planned to kill @ the other two- You’re not gonna let her kill me right?
Other male friend- I’m helping
Female friend- I’m staying out of this but I’m not gonna stop her

Friend- What part of your morning routine takes the longest?
Me- Finding the will to live

Someone in art class @ my art teacher- So would you burn the bodies in that kiln? points to kiln
Art teacher- No, I’d use the other one. It’s bigger. More efficient

Me- I don’t like children
Literally anyone- But you’re a children (everyone says this exact grammatically incorrect phrase and it drives me insane)
Me- When did you ever get the notion that I liked myself?

Me- I have a lot of personality conflicts
Friend- Like what?
Me- We’ll you see, I hate myself, but I also think I’m better than everyone
Friend- Oh
Me- Also I’m probably a psychopath

Friend- I’m in a toxic relationship with a cello piece
Me- Oh. I’m in Chicago

me- i need help
friend- writes help on a piece of paper and hands it to me Here you go

“That’s ok. Peanut butter is water anyways.”

“Could you just be quiet for five minutes??”
“Time is an illusion.”

"I got to be a drum yesterday"

I don’t even have to be Hitler. I just wanna be a fascist.

That reminds me
"Yes, I'm being possessed by the spirit of Hitler."
"No, you are Hitler. Secretly."
"Then why would I be helping you?"

"Chloe's COMMUnistTTT."
"That's exactly what a communist would say!"
"IIIIANNNN'S A COMMUNISTTTT!"

P1: Japan: we will never surrender!
P2: They were the last to surrender. Hitler was cornered in a room, and he-
P1: Committed the self-murder.
P2: No, he went underground and is still living there. The end.

"why is it a triangle?????"

"Does anyone know what bond energy is?"
"The name is Energy, Bond Energy."

"The game is afoot."
Someone throws a shoe across the room

"ALLHAILTHEA.C.GODS,ALLHAIL"

"Does anyone know what bond energy is?"
"The name is Energy, Bond Energy."

My chemistry teacher needed that joke lol

"Imagine if an ant ate your foot…or your dog."

"get your own ladybug!!!!!"
this was in science class
we're studying the moon
not ladybugs
in short, what the fuck

"Logan's one cape away from being a supervillian."
"Bitch i already am.)