forum Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)

Started November 14, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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Break time because it's May 1st which is now an important date and I'm hungry.

When you think about something too much and now you can't compose yourself B')

I was going to sleep but now I have to pop back in to say why am I such a slut for sexual tension on airplanes??
In books, obviously

I was going to sleep but now I have to pop back in to say why am I such a slut for sexual tension on airplanes??
In books, obviously

I don't know but now I need to find a book with sexual tension in an airplane to find out. Got any recommendations?

I challenge you to see how much you can get done in the next 20 minutes.
Either that or stay off notebook for 20 minutes.

okay honestly
ima take you up on that
cause i need this
badly
will i get cookies when im done?

Mmm cookies

I have earned my freedom from school for the time being. >.> Time to add to Google Maps Purgatory

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh yes.

I was looking around a nice area and almost cried when I noticed a kid in the back but turns out dude just had an oversized leather jacket on and is indeed not a cryptid.

Leaving this before I go to bed. Mausoleums can be beautiful.

Oh wow. Beautiful.

Well, I'm taking it you're going to sleep, so sweet dreams!

Goodnight, you better get some sleep yourself at some point

I just woke up and read through this and Miri calling Eris mendobroski was the highlight of everything I missed

No one asked, but I've put all my tired mir names in my also known as

…i spent forever writing a thing to nia…
she tried to contact me over pms a while ago
with a new account that is now deleted

i was able to send it
and since i know she will never see it
i was comfortable sending it
it turns out i had a lot to say

and idk if i should post it here
but i feel like people should know how im feeling
and as lee said
maybe im not wearing the mask anymore
im letting yall know that rn im literally on the verge of unblocking nia
but i know i shouldn't
she may have been a good friend to everyone else
but not to me…

if yall want to see it, i can and will post it here
but for now, this is what you get
just me kinda rambling…

I'd be interested in seeing it, if you're comfortable.

alright, thats fine with me
it's very lengthy though (or at least imo i think it is)
don't say i didn't warn you…

deep breath well here goes
keep in mind that this was addressed to nia

hey nia…..
i know this was you
now, since i'm well aware that you'll never get this
i'm sending this now.

or at least i'm gonna try
i dont know how this will work
i need to get some things out in the open
…i'm sorry i broke things off so abruptly
i really am
but yes, you were a toxic friend to me
you lied to me
and i'm not happy about that
because i cared about you nia, i really did…
there are some days where i wish i could unblock you and talk to you again…
just to make sure you're still alive…
but i have to prevent myself from doing that

because ive got to keep myself safe.
i can't go into a panic attack over worrying about you
besides that, you were completely fine, too.
i… i can't keep doing that.
i want you to be safe
but i don't want to worry about you, if i don't have to
if you're completely safe, anyways

this wasn't an easy decision to make, you have to understand that.
i went for days, talking to you while i shouldn't have
feeling guilty everytime i wanted to block you
giving you more and more chances
but trying to latch onto robert once you thought you were losing me?
that wasn't cool, nia
i shouldn't have let you near him
i was a bad friend…
but hey, you''re not him
so why am i apologising?

anyways, that was the last straw for me. but that doesn't mean it didn't affect me.
it does.
i still think about that day every now and then.
this hasn't been easy on me, either
i have to live with the guilt everyday
the guilt of what i've done
the more i write, the more i think about posting this to the venting chat as well
but i don't know if that's a wise decision.

maybe i can use this pm as a safe venting space.
where no one can give me advice,
but no one can judge me.
that might be nice
considering i'm already doing that

speaking of venting,
fdaljkfadslkfsadlk my keyboard keeps glitching out every now and then
and it's highkey annoying
and because off my natural instinct to go and fix typos
i have to go back and manually fix them
fads;kafdsjkfaerkjdfkjfdk

i hope it stops glitching soon
it always does
and then it comes back again

anyways, back to the original purpose why i started writing this
…..i'm so, so sorry nia…
i'm not apologising for what i did
i'm apologising for how i broke things off so abruptly
maybe i should have confronted you first
maybe i should have asked you to stop
but i know you would've just guilt-tripped me
and i wasn't ready for that
i knew i wouldn't be able to handle that
i already have a friend who does that to me…
and yet, i still stick with them
why???
because they're like you
and i know that i should break off our relationship too
but i can't
because they guilt trip me as well
and i promised id always be there for them
i promised
how can i just break a promise like that?

…exactly
i can't
…i wish you were here
i wish i was still able to talk to you, nia…
you would know exactly what to say
or how to get me to understand
or how i could block them without feeling guilty
oh- that reminds me, it doesn't help that we also share a server together…
at least i no longer share any servers with you
and i closed our dms
i can no longer talk to you….
i wish i didn't
you were there for me all the time….
oh nia… i'm so, so, sorry…
i'm so torn with guilt over you right now
i should've stayed…
no matter the pain
it's worth a friendship….
….right?
right…
maybe
i guess
i don't know…
this is really hard on me, nia

you can't even begin to understand
ive suffered through so many toxic friendships
all through elementary school,
starting in second grade
it took only a year for the entire grade to realise my true personality
you see
the way i am, i let people swing me around
like i'm their puppet
they can manipulate me however they want, and i wont say a word to them
because i'm afraid
afraid of what?
…i don't really know
them, probably
but ill vent about them to other people

after i changed schools from third to fourth grade,
it didn't take long for the entire fourth grade to find out my personality either
i displayed that more prominently than ever before
and soon…
that was where i met jaiden and jasmine
more toxic friends
funnn
yeahh, they liked to swing me around too…
at least i had comfort in some fake friends
but they weren't toxic, at least
jada, trinity, and brianna
they even gave me their sixth grade graduation rocket!
it was very sweet of them, although ive sadly lost it

but i will carry with me their names forever…
in fifth grade, i changed schools once more…
i had gotten accepted into the gifted program
it went by a different name
but nevertheless, it involved another school change
note: that only lasts till the end of elementary school
after that, it's up to the student to pick the 'gifted' classes in middle and highschool
anyways, i met another toxic friend!
isa…
she took things to another level
she stole things
and would accuse me of stealing things
and thought she could tell anyone what to do
she was also a popular kid wannabe
but couldn't get in
cause everyone else knew how she was
they didn't want a kid like her in the popular kids group

this is getting kinda long…
and honestly, i don't really know what to say anymore
but i'm going to try to send this message
see how notebook reacts…

T_T
We're doing a presentation about the music in Star Wars on google meets and there's sixth graders and orchestra kids and they're all SO rude. They're all spamming the chat and I'm just like ??? You're so annoying. Calm down. Sweet petunias

Oh-

T_T
We're doing a presentation about the music in Star Wars on google meets and there's sixth graders and orchestra kids and they're all SO rude. They're all spamming the chat and I'm just like ??? You're so annoying. Calm down. Sweet petunias

D:
I wanna be there-

T_T
We're doing a presentation about the music in Star Wars on google meets and there's sixth graders and orchestra kids and they're all SO rude. They're all spamming the chat and I'm just like ??? You're so annoying. Calm down. Sweet petunias

D:
I wanna be there-

It's honestly kinda boring

when you want to try some new hobbies but they’re always watching and you can’t just lock yourself in a bathroom for hours with supplies you stole from around the house without raising suspicion