why.
why did i do that.
why does it keep going…
all my friends are angry now
i tried to stop it, i tried to explain that i messed up but no
people won’t listen to me, the damage is already there.
they keep going with it and bugging people about it and dragging others in and I’m just d o n e
I’m so tired and sad and humiliated I want to bury myself alive
…but as always, it’s not like i can be mad-
i did this.
i brought all of it upon myself.
and it’s not like i don’t deserve it either, i’ve been waiting for my lies to finally spiral back and hit me for so, so long…
just didn’t think it would be today.
today’s my dad’s birthday, we’re supposed to be celebrating with happiness and cheesecake
but all that celebratory good day shit has just been drained out of my system
like happy birthday, your daughter wants to shoot herself!
what wonderful memories we’re going to cherish for this special date of the year.
Ella, I know that feeling that your friends don't really like you and that saying one wrong thing would make them leave forever, but first off, tell yourself "if they really didn't like me, would they do blank?" And second, if friends will leave you for saying something they don't agree with, they're shitty friends, and that's something we are not.
Heck, Eris and I don't agree on a lot of things, same with me and Jyn or me and Mir, but they're still rad and I like them a lot
all my friends are angry now
Well ig me and emi aren't your friends because I'm not angry and I'm pretty sure Emi isn't either
Most of us aren't as far as I know
Im not mad but idk if I fall under that category
Yeah I'm pretty chill. We've all made mistakes, dude.
@NutEllaDraws
I’m your friend, aren’t I?
And I’m sure as hell not angry at you! How can I be when you’re one of the most wholesome people I know?! How can I be angry at a beautiful, amazing girl who has cut outs of my eyes on her laptop :)
I'm not angry. I don't think I could ever be angry at you. You're like the personification of wholesomeness.
you guys might not be
but the ckc? you know, my favorite place on this whole site?
they most definitely are.
they haven’t said anything about me specifically but you can just hear the disappointment…
i’m still the same piece of shit
nothing’s changed
and now everything’s in a million pieces and i don’t know what to do
If they're that mad about it, then they're not worth your time. You said what a lot of others were thinking, and if they don't believe you, that's on them.
if i don’t respond to any dms for a while it’s cause i’m avoiding them like the plague until at least bedtime
trying to hold myself together long enough to give my dad his happy birthday
The same ckc that I'm in? Or an old version?
If they're that mad about it, then they're not worth your time. You said what a lot of others were thinking, and if they don't believe you, that's on them.
but they are worth my time
they’re the most genuine people i’ve ever really known…
The same ckc that I'm in? Or an old version?
the original
Okay well then they're assholes because "cool kids" wouldn't be upset about this
……why did i try to warn people about this ???
its not done much at all
and while i feel good that i managed to protect you [ella] from what they did to me……
i- the guilt is still too much for me……
i hate this so much…
and still nia keeps reaching out to me, trying to contact me
why can't they understand ????
the last thing i want is to talk to them !!
please nia…. if you're seeing this.. i-
i've been lied to. on numerous occasions. you have to understand-
you're not good for me. if i talk to you-
if i talk to you, i'll fall into a downward spiral of depression again
right now, i'm doing better than i ever have with my mental health
and it's because i'm not constantly worrying about some fake suicidal thoughts or anything
alright, sorry about that yall
i just really needed to get that out
i didn't even know id say all that
but it feels good to let everything out
I mean… Nutella has a point. If I went accusing people wrongfully and people got angry honestly that's probably on me.
y'all, stop blaming yourselves. I'm tired.
Her accusations weren't wrongful though. Nia lied a lot. Just because Ella messed up the thing about Shuri doesn't mean that she doesn't have a point. And doesn't the CKC love Shuri? They should be glad she spoke up.
Hey, Iz. No need to regret speaking up. Bad things happen when people feel they can't talk freely.
honestly enough with the guilt. you guys spoke up about something that bothered you (and others) theres no need to feel guilty about it.
calm down.
christ alive
'kay- thanks dom
and eris has spoken- i will be sure to keep those words in mind
Her accusations weren't wrongful though. Nia lied a lot. Just because Ella messed up the thing about Shuri doesn't mean that she doesn't have a point. And doesn't the CKC love Shuri? They should be glad she spoke up.
I messed up a lot of things, painting Nia, my friend, as a manipulative monster, with little to back it up…
And yes, they do. In fact Shuri’s one of the main members…
and also one of the people disappointed.
i dragged him into drama.
you know, the very thing he was trying to avoid?
i didn’t help anyone, i didn’t fix anything, nothing good came out of this.
they’ve recently said that they aren’t holding anything against me, but that doesn’t change it.
