Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

(Here's an Ace and Spade master-post because I love these boys-)

Ace: Y'oint
Ace: Y'yint've'mst
Spade: What does this mean?
Ace: It's more about the emotion it invokes.

Ace: Instagram posts are like children. You delete the ones that don't succeed.
Spade: What in the fresh flying fuck-

Spade: How do boys look good without makeup?
Ace: Because society hasn't told the boys they look bad without it.
Spade: Damn. Shots have been fired.

Spade: Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
Ace: I have seen a new world.

Ace: I'm not a murderer. Some of my best friends are still alive.

Ace: Fun game: Play peek-a-boo with a baby, but never reappear.
Spade: My dad was good at this game.

Spade: You know that noise that laminated paper makes when you shake it?
Ace: FwubbwubfwubwububwubwufuwbuwbBBFWUBWUBBUB
Spade: Yeah, that one.

Ace: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a Roomba. I want knives taped onto me. And I want to be set loose.

Ace: [breathes]
Spade: Stop seducing me with your chaotic-evil energy

Spade: Could you please put your crying kid on vibrate?

@threesacult

Anthony: My neutral expression makes me look like I'm always in a bad mood, which is convenient because it's usually true.

Dally: Fun game: Play peek-a-boo with a baby, but never reappear.
Cyrus: My dad was good at that game.

Poli: If you wake up while McDonald's is still serving breakfast, then you're doing good.
Zephyr: Doesn't McDonald's have all day breakfast now?
Ellis: If you wake up at all, then you're doing good.

Jack: [Breathes]
Emmett: Stop seducing me with your chaotic-evil energy

Quill: Hey, do you hear that noise?
Azazel: You mean the one that sounds like nails being grated on a chalkboard?
Quill: Yeah, exactly!
Azazel: Then no, I don't hear it.

@Eli_

Spade: Hey, do you hear that noise?
Ace: You mean the one that sounds like nails being grated on a chalkboard?
Spade: Yeah, exactly!
Ace: Then no, I don't hear it.

Ace: I started from the bottom and I somehow was able to get lower.

Ace: Have you tried committng arson before?
Spade:
Spade: Go the fuck to sleep

@HighPockets

Geneva: My neutral expression makes me look like I'm always in a bad mood, which is convenient because it's usually true.

@HighPockets

Kristi: How do boys look good without makeup?
Kate: Because society hasn't told the boys they look bad without it.
Morgan: Damn. Shots have been fired.

Lyra: I'm not a murderer. Some of my best friends are still alive.

Robin: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a Roomba. I want knives taped onto me. And I want to be set loose.

@jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town

Jesse: I only worry about three things: everything that has happened, everything that is happening, and everything that will happen.

Jesse: I'm hiding in my room and never coming out.
Gracelyn: What did Delphinia and Hex do now?
Jesse: That's the thing. They've been behaving perfectly all day. I'm scared.

Hex: Can you tell Delphinia to stop doing that weird thing with her face?
Jesse: You mean crying?

Jesse: Some people think life is like a roller coaster, but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you're pinned against the wall and can't do anything about it.

Hex: You can't just cut me out of your life!
Sybella, holding a pair of scissors: Snip snip.

Jesse: Can you overdose on Vitamin D?
Gracelyn: I mean, that's technically how Icarus died.
Jesse, tearing up: iCarly is dead?

Gracelyn: If you're lucky, your internal organs will spend their entire lives in darkness.
Delphinia: Not if I swallow this glowstick!
Gracelyn: WAIT NO-

Clem, holding a globe: This is the Earth.
Jesse: Boo.

Delphinia: What would happen if someone were to be injected with every kind of disease at once?
Gracelyn: They would not feel very good, unfortunately.
Jesse, injecting himself with a bunch of diseases: Osmosis Jones battle royale time.

Aurelia: Hey Jesse, who sculpted Mount Rushmore?
Jesse: Gutzon Borglum, then his son finished it.
Aurelia: What state is it in?
Jesse: I don't know, Ecuador or something.

Jesse: Our death ray doesn't seem to be working.
Jesse: I'm standing right in it and I don't seem to be dead.

Aurelia: Hello darkness my old friend
Aurelia: Why are you here, it's 4am

@HighPockets

Arthur: I only worry about three things: everything that has happened, everything that is happening, and everything that will happen.

Aspen: I'm hiding in my room and never coming out.
Oberon: What did Robin do now?
Aspen: That's the thing. They've been behaving perfectly all day. I'm scared.

Henry: What would happen if someone were to be injected with every kind of disease at once?
Victor: They would not feel very good, unfortunately.
Jackson: Osmosis Jones Battle Royale time.

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

Tyler: What’s the best kind of firework to buy?
Lucas: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boi
Tyler: Where are your parents?

Tori: speaking in Cherokee
Random Karen: If you can't speak English, go back to your own country
Tori: (visible confusion)

Lucas: Hey, watch me do an impression of my dad
Charlie: Ok
Lucas: (Leaves)

Sophie, by a mist maker: We out here smoking on that good- goo-(fall out of chair)

@trainwreck404

Juniper: I want to be like a caterpillar
Dick: Explain
Juniper: Eat a lot, sleep, wake up beautiful
Dick: You know you would have a lifespan of about a week, right?
Juniper: Another highlight

Frog: Huh, I woke up early for once.
Frog: What an achievement. I deserve a reward.
Frog: goes back to sleep

Alex: You need to be a little nicer.
Vanessa: I’m nice.
Alex: You threatened to stab me this morning.
Vanessa: And I think giving you a warning was pretty nice of me.

Vanessa: Has anybody ever told you they love you?
Alex: Do my parents count?
Vanessa: Yes.
Alex: Then no.

Dick: Am I cool or what?
Juniper: What.
Dick: I said, am I cool or…
Juniper: Yeah, I heard you.

Frog: We can never let anyone know that we blew that up.
Shiloh: Agreed.
Frog: Take it to the grave?
Shiloh: Take it to the grave.
Frog: This conversation never happened.
Shiloh: I don’t even know who you are.
Frog: That’s hurtful, you took it too far.
Shiloh: That’s a weird thing for a stranger to say.

Dick: hugs Frog
Frog: What are you doing?
Dick: Appreciating the little things in life.
Frog: YOU BITCH.

@threesacult

Dally: Am I cool or what?
Anthony: What.
Dally: I said, am I cool or…
Anthony: Yeah, I heard you.

Vio: I only worry about three things: everything that has happened, everything that is happening, and everything that will happen.

Jack: Hugs Cyrus
Cyrus: What are you doing?
Jack: Appreciating the little things in life.
Cyrus: You bitch-

@HighPockets

Samuel: We can never let anyone know what happened back there.
Nich: Agreed.
Samuel: Take it to the grave?
Nich: Take it to the grave.
Samuel: This conversation never happened.
Nich: I don’t even know who you are.
Samuel: That’s hurtful, you took it too far.
Nich: That’s a weird thing for a stranger to say.

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

Matthew: What are you doing
Felix: Just studying this subspecies
Theo: I'LL SHOW YOU SUBSPECIES

Terry to Darrell: Man up or I'll beat you with my peace prize!

Bonita: I mean seriously, I’m a virgin! Where do you think they get Virgin Olive Oil? The point is you don’t want to shoot the virgin! We’re pathetic enough as it is!!! I apologize for the lying, and the boxing, and really I’m a good girl

Charlie: Hello, I am Charlie. I enjoy sensing the mood and refraining from speaking.

Terry: Hey Aaron, I just caught Charlie.
Charlie: Please, but, but, oh.
Aaron: Nice. Let's hit him violently and get what we can out of him.

Child!Jax: Jacob, big brother!
Child!Jacob: Huh? Oh no, Jax, what is wrong?
Child!Jax: Besides obvious bruise? Those meanies do not listen to me.
Child!Jacob: Oh, brother, at times like this, why don't you try using a spell?
Child!Jax: What kind spell?
Child!Jacob: One that I do all the time, it's good for telling people how you feel. All you have to do is show them your chest!
Child!Jax: Ahh!
Child!Jacob: All you have to do is show them your chest!
Child!Jax: Why say that twice and why so loudly last time?! Now I am embarrassed!

Bonita: Ok come on, who doesn't want a man who can do everything for you
Valerie: You're a pathetic beta woman and I hope you die a virgin

Claire: Sophie, I want you to listen to me while you are choking. Your impulses keep getting the best of you. I know you think that it is awesome but I believe it would be even more awesome when the impulses get the worst of you.

Elijah: Dudes, it is time to attack with black magic!

Charlie: Unlike in the movies, throwing stars don't fly or stick and they are unlikely to hit their target. So they're quite unreliable as a weapon.
Sophie (shocked): Is that right?!
Charlie: Sharpened chopsticks are more useful as a weapon if you use them for stabbing or throwing.

@threesacult

Azazel: Bonjour, Sandy. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?
The Sandman: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
Azazel: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really weird tennis instructor.

Azazel: It’ll be fun! We’ll make it a guys’ day! Come on, you punk bitch.
The Sandman: Azzi, I can’t believe I have to say this.
The Sandman: I don’t have time to get tested for STIs with you tomorrow.

Anthony: I think you're still suffering the effects of that party last night.
Cyrus: All I drank was Redbull!
Anthony: How many?
Cyrus: …Eighteen.

Dally: Well, that was almost a good plan.
Anthony: You just described 95 percent of our ideas.

Dally: Speaking Cree
Random passerby: If you can’t speak English, go back to your own country!
Dally:

Jack, answering the phone: Hello?
Cyrus: It’s Cyrus.
Jack: What did she do this time?
Cyrus: What? No, it’s me, Cyrus. It’s actually me.
Jack: Oh.
Jack: What did you do this time?

Jack: I trusted you!
Karma: …Why?

@HighPockets

Oleander: It’ll be fun! We’ll make it a guys’ day! Come on, you punk bitch.
Oberon: Oleander, I can’t believe I have to say this.
Oberon: I don’t have time to get tested for STIs with you tomorrow.

Jon: Well, that was almost a good plan.
Darius: You just described 95 percent of our ideas.

@Fairlyodd

Teen Miran: [sneaking in]
Alune, turning in a swivel chair: and where were you?
Miran: uhhh, with Varian?
Varian, turning around in another swivel chair: try again.

Leaoni: [pours an entire salt shaker into a cup of coffee as a prank]
Leaoni: Hey, Alune, I made you some coffee!
Alune: [downs the whole thing]
Alune: Thanks, can I have another?
Leaoni: What the fuck.

Past Kallai: I am alone and I feel nothing but hate. That’s what makes me stronger. I have no need for such weak feelings and unnecessary bonds.
Present Kallai, holding hands with Sana and carrying Frost on his back: So that turned out to be a fucking lie.

Alune, raising his voice slightly so he can speak to Varian down at the other end of the grocery store aisle: Do you want any chips?
Varian, at full volume: I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS!

Leaoni:You wanna see how hard core I am?!?!
Leaoni: [punches a wall]
Varian, whispering: You good?
Leaoni: Take me to the hospital.

Zatian: You two know each other?
Alune: I’ve never met his man before In my life.
Wren: He’s my brother!
Alune: Adopted.

Alune: We’re now on a sinking ship, a million miles from home, with no back up.
Miran: I’m back up!
Alune: No. You’re a stowaway. The adults are talking.

Sana: You’re sick, your temperature is 104.1!
Leaoni: Oh yeah? If I was sick, could I do this?
Leaoni: [stares at Sana]
Sana: …Do what?
Leaoni: Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?
Sana, softly: No.

Kallai: People assume I know what I'm doing because I'm tall.

Cop: Can you describe the person who stabbed you?
Wren: Yeah. He was not very friendly.

Computer: [makes an error sound]
Alune: [immitates error sound sarcastically]

Raiden: How are you coping with everything that's happened?
Varian: The trick is to play music louder than your thoughts.

Leaoni: Why are you like this?
Frost: I'm sorry, you must first achieve friendship level four before unlocking my tragic backstory.

Varian: Listen here you little bitch, I have a black belt in making bad decisions. I will throw myself off a cliff just to spite you.

Frost: [doing a handstand] I think I'm stuck. Call the police.
Sana: Why would I call-

Leaoni: [severely injures herself] Oh, dang it!
Also Leaoni: [drops donut] FUCK!

Frost: [accidentally does something well]
Frost: Well shit, I've given them standards now.

@threesacult

Cyrus: [Pours an entire salt shaker into a cup of coffee as a prank]
Cyrus: Hey, Azzi, I made you some coffee!
Azazel: [Downs the whole thing]
Azazel: Thanks, can I have another?
Cyrus: What the fuck?

Dally: People assume I know what I'm doing just because I'm tall.

Zephyr: Listen here you little bitch, I have a black belt in making bad decisions. I will throw myself off a cliff just to spite you.

Computer: [Makes an error sound]
Anthony: [Imitates error sound sarcastically]

Zephyr: [Sneaking in]
Tetra, turning in a swivel chair: And where were you?
Zephyr: Uhh, with Vio?
Vio, turning around in another swivel chair: Try again.

Jack: How are you coping with everything that's happened?
Quill: The trick is to play music louder than your thoughts.

Cyrus, severely injuring herself: Ouch. That can’t be good.
Also Cyrus, dropping a donut: FUCK!

@HighPockets

Victor: People assume I know what I'm doing just because I'm tall.

Marisol: How are you coping with everything that's happened?
Beck: The trick is to play music louder than your thoughts.

Jackson, severely injuring himself: Ouch. That can’t be good.
Also Jackson, dropping a donut: FUCK!

@Starfast

Adelia: Are you ok?
Gerard: No, next question

Andor: You're Armenian? I thought you were asexual?
Ara: I'm actually 5'8"

Ara: How are you coping with everything that's happened?
Dallas: The trick is to play music louder than your thoughts.

Milo: How come you’ve been so nice to me lately?
Ravina: What, would you rather I punched you?

Andor: If you wake up while McDonald's is still serving breakfast, then you're doing good.
Ara: Doesn't McDonald's have all day breakfast now?
Dallas: If you wake up at all, then you're doing good.

Ara: My neutral expression makes me look like I'm always in a bad mood, which is convenient because it's usually true.

Holly: Instagram posts are like children. You delete the ones that don't succeed.
Jackie: What in the fresh flying fuck-

Kit: Fun game: Play peek-a-boo with a baby, but never reappear.
Crispin: My mom was good at this game.

Dallas: You know that noise that laminated paper makes when you shake it?
Andor: FwubbwubfwubwububwubwufuwbuwbBBFWUBWUBBUB
Dallas: Yeah, that one.

Gerard: I started from the bottom and I somehow was able to get lower.

Dallas: Some people think life is like a roller coaster, but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you're pinned against the wall and can't do anything about it.

Kit: You need to be a little nicer.
Crispin: I’m nice.
Kit: You threatened to stab me this morning.
Crispin: And I think giving you a warning was pretty nice of me.

Garzlan: Has anybody ever told you they love you?
Milo: Do my parents count?
Garzlan: Yes.
Milo: Then no.

Andor: [pours an entire salt shaker into a cup of coffee as a prank]
Andor: Hey, Ara, I made you some coffee!
Ara: [downs the whole thing]
Ara: Thanks, can I have another?
Andor: What the fuck.

Taven: You wanna see how hard core I am?!?!
Taven: [punches a wall]
Keyla, whispering: You good?
Taven: Take me to the healers.

Calidor: Hey, Keyla-
Keyla, tearing up: My mom used to call me Keyla.
Calidor: That’s because it's your fucking name.

Holly: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I'm falling asleep already.
Holly: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive of all genders, casual and fun, short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.

Keyla: Due to personal reasons, I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.

Holly: He doesn't deserve you. If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone.
Jackie: I'm gone.
Holly: Now go chop his dick off-

@jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town

Jesse: You need to be a little nicer.
Aurelia: I’m nice.
Jesse: You threatened to stab me this morning.
Aurelia: And I think giving you a warning was pretty nice of me.

Davina: Has anybody ever told you they love you?
Sybella: Do our parents count?
Davina: Yeah.
Sybella: Then no.

Jesse: Am I cool or what?
Hex: What.
Jesse: I said, am I cool or-
Hex: Yeah, I heard you.

Gracelyn: How come you’ve been so nice to me lately?
Hex: What, would you rather I punched you?

Aurelia: My neutral expression makes me look like I'm always in a bad mood, which is convenient because it's usually true.

Clem: There is no music allowed except for our national anthem and some forbidden rebel songs.
Jesse: Really? You all just let go of ABBA?
Clem: Oh, no. That is the forbidden rebel music.
Martell, singing: Mama mia, [cocks shotgun] here I go again

@HighPockets