Mourton, at any given time: Nich Fox is a punk-ass bitch.
Therese: My girlfriend's cousin is a 5'7" guy who taunts every jacked 6'3" muscle bro he meets until they pull back their fist to beat him up, whereupon he goes "heyheyheyyyy, c'mon, I'm a little guy, I'm just a little guy, noo, it's also my birthday, I'm a little birthday boyyy" and it somehow always works.
Nich, from another room: I'm five-foot-seven and a half!
Quill: Where are you going?
Cyrus: Probably Hell.
Quill:
Cyrus: Oh. Right now I'm going to the bathroom.
Cyrus: I'm lesbian.
Dally: I thought you were American?
Jack: Can I have your permission to marry your brother?
Love: What is this, the dark ages? You know what, since you asked, no, you can't. Beat me in a duel first
Allison: I guess I'm too tough to cry.
Azrael: Just today you were crying about snakes.
Allison: THEY DON'T HAVE ANY ARMS!
Cedar: Can I have your permission to marry your sister?
Vivian: What is this, the dark ages? You know what, since you asked, no, you can't. Beat me in a duel first
Quill: I guess I'm too tough to cry.
Jack: Just today you were crying about snakes.
Quill, in tears again: They don't have any arms!
Shin's Clone: Shoot him, he's the clone! points at the actual Shin
The Real Shin: Well maybe I am.
Midori: shoots both of them Problem solved.
Shin: I'm gay.
Midori: I thought you were American?
Midori: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing…
Shin: …But you DIDN'T
Ashe, talking to Shin: Let's tell each other secrets about ourselves. I'll go first. I HATE you.
Mourton: So you lied to me?
Nich: That depends on how you define lying.
Mourton: Well, I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?
Nich: Reclining your body in a horizontal position.
Samuel: Darius, keep an eye on Nich today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Darius: Sure, I’d love to see Nich get punched.
Samuel: Try again.
Darius: I will stop Nich from getting punched.
Samuel: Correct.
Oscar, to Marian and Beatrice: Were you two kissing?
Marian: What? No, of course not!
Oscar: Her lipstick is on your mouth.
Marian: Uh…we just happened to wear the same shade…
Jon: Yeah, we’re best friends, but I would fuck you if you asked.
Oliver: What?
Jon: What?
Darius, eating chips in the background: He said he would fuck you if you asked, Ol.
Nich: Why would I get a job when I can get hit by cars and sue the drivers?
Therese: Because you could fucking die.
Nich: Well yeah-the motto goes “get rich or die trying”. Not “Oh no, I might die, better get a 9 to 5”.
Joan: Just so you know, if you go to prison, Nell and I won’t wait for you.
Nich: You won’t have to. I’ll escape. We both know this.
Percy: Does something stupid & gets himself hurt
Alessandra: After I lovingly nurse you back to health, I’m going to kill you.
Geneva: I’m giving up alcohol for a month.
Jackson: Really?
Geneva: Wait, sorry, that didn’t come out right.
Geneva I’m giving up. Alcohol for a month.
Addie: Do you think there are gods?
Kels: Well, somebody’s out to get me.
Nich: Why does everyone always assume the worst of me?
Samuel: It saves time.
Barry: I have come up with a three-step plan to get Kat to marry you.
Frankie: Okay, I’m listening.
Barry: Step one, get her to play truth or dare.
Frankie: Oh God, stop.
Barry: Step two, wait until she picks dare.
Frankie: Barry, no.
Barry: Step three, dare her to marry you!
Claudio:…it could work.
Cyrus: Just so you know, if you go to prison, Anthony and I won’t wait for you.
Jack: You won’t have to. I’ll escape. We both know this.
Dally: Does something stupid and gets himself hurt
Anthony: After I lovingly nurse you back to health, I’m going to kill you.
Quill: Do you think there are gods?
Anthony: Well, somebody’s out to get me.
Cyrus: Jack, keep an eye on Dally today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Jack: Sure, I’d love to see him get punched.
Cyrus: Try again.
Jack, sighing: I will stop Dallas from getting punched.
Cyrus: Correct.
Azazel: Why would I get a job when I can get hit by cars and sue the drivers?
Quill: Because you could fucking die.
Azazel: Well yeah–the motto goes “get rich or die trying”. Not “Oh no, I might die, better get a 9 to 5”.
Trinity: Just so you know, if you go to prison, none of us will wait for you.
Louis: You won’t have to. I’ll escape. We both know this.
Marisol: Do you believe in God?
Beck: Well, somebody’s out to get me.
Cyrus: When you ask someone "you good?" remember that there's always a chance that they'll reply "no, I'm evil" and that's something you gotta be ready for
Leaoni: So you lied to me?
Frost: That depends on how you define lying.
Leaoni: Well, I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?
Frost: Reclining your body in a horizontal position.
Alune: Frost, keep an eye on Varian today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Frost: Sure, I’d love to see Varian get punched.
Alune: Try again.
Frost: I will stop Varian from getting punched.
Alune: Correct.
Leaoni: Just so you know, if you go to prison, none of us will wait for you.
Varian: You won’t have to. I’ll escape. We both know this.
Varian: [Does something stupid & gets himself badly hurt]
Alune: After I save your life, I’m going to kill you.
Leaoni: I’m giving up alcohol for a month.
Kallai: Really?
Leaoni: Wait, sorry, that didn’t come out right.
Leaoni I’m giving up. Alcohol for a month.
Sana: Do you think there are gods?
Leaoni: Well, somebody’s out to get me.
Varian: Why does everyone always assume the worst of me?
Kallai: It saves time.
Kallai: I guess I'm too tough to cry.
Zatian: Just today you were crying about snakes.
Kallai, in tears again: They don't have any arms!
Frost: Are you calling me a liar?
Leaoni: I ain't callin' you a truther!
Varian: I didn't understand why people cared so much about their dumb kids, 'till i got a dumb kid myself. I've only had Miran for a day and a half, but if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Jackson: When you ask someone "you good?" remember that there's always a chance that they'll reply "no, I'm evil" and that's something you've gotta be ready for.
Varian: Are you wearing makeup? Where’d your freckles go?
Alune: Huh? Oh no, winter just makes my freckles fade.
Varian: I see…
— later —
Varian: [beating the snow with a shovel while angry mumbling] Give. Him. His. Freckles. Back. You. Bitch
Leaoni: Do you take constructive criticism?
Frost: I only take cash or credit.
Varian: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Alune: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Varian: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
Kallai: You're not gonna make the world any better by shouting at it.
Leaoni: I can try.
Varian: does anybody have any questions?
Kallai: Is this legal?
Varian: Any other questions?
Kallai: How much for the knife shoes?
Frost: Kallai…those are ice skates.
Kallai: I must have them.
Alune: Did you know that atoms never touch each other, and since we’re made of atoms, we’ve never touched anything in our entire lives. So, to answer your question officer, no Varian did not punch Frost.
Varian: [nodding along]
Frost, holding his bloody nose: Bitch I-
Leaoni: You can't just follow me into fire!
Kallai: THEN DON'T RUN INTO FIRE
Sana: Why are my hands shaking.
Frost: Your skeleton is ready to hatch.
Sana:
Sana: Frost, what the actual fuck
Alune: What the fuck.
Varian: You’ll have to be more specific. I do a lot of ‘what the fuck’ kind of stuff.
991 Operator: What’s your emergency?
Marcello: My wife’s going into labor and I don’t know what to do.
911 Operator: Is this her firstborn?
Marcello: No, this is her husband.
Frost: Are you mad?
Leaoni: No.
Frost: So sharpening knives at 2am is just a hobby?
Frost: Do you know why I came to you for help?
Varian: I assumed you’d lost a bet.
Sana: Are you getting enough sleep?
Alune: Sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close.
Zatian: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I’m not proud of it.
Leaoni: You’re kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.
Leaoni: I’d die for you idiots.
Varian, Alune, & Kallai: We’d die for you first.
Sana, from across the room: NO ONE HERE IS DYING.
Kallai: Alune, you can’t keep that.
Alune, holding a demon cat: Why not? We kept Varian.
Leaoni: Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?
Alune: I’m supposed to be a lot of things, but I live to disappoint.
Kallai, texting: We need to talk.
Varian, also texting: Lmao lost my phone can't talk right now.
Kallai: Oh ok. Let me know when you find it.
Kallai:
Kallai: wait
Nami: So you lied to me?
Usopp: That depends on how you define lying.
Nami: Well, I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?
Usopp: Reclining your body in a horizontal position.
Nami: Zoro, keep an eye on Sanji today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Zoro: Sure, I’d love to see Sanji get punched.
Nami: Try again.
Zoro: I will stop Sanji from getting punched.
Nami: Correct.
Zoro, to Nami and Vivi: Were you two kissing?
Vivi: What? No, of course not!
Zoro: Her lipstick is on your mouth.
Vivi: Uh…we just happened to wear the same shade…
Luffy: Does something stupid & gets himself hurt
Law: After I lovingly nurse you back to health, I’m going to kill you.
Zoro: I’m giving up alcohol for a month.
Usopp: Really?
Zoro: Wait, sorry, that didn’t come out right.
Zoro: I’m giving up. Alcohol for a month.
Zoro: Do you think there are gods?
Law: Well, somebody’s out to get me.
Vermilion: Why does everyone always assume the worst of me?
Coby: It saves time.
Usopp: Are you calling me a liar?
Nami: I ain't callin' you a truther!
Law: I didn't understand why people cared so much about their dumb kids, 'till i got a dumb kid myself. I've only had Jax for a day and a half, but if anything happens to her I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Therese: Are you wearing makeup? Where’d your freckles go?
Nell: Huh? Oh no, winter just makes my freckles fade.
Therese: I see.
Later
Therese, beating the snow with a shovel: Give! Nell! Her! Freckles! Back! You! Bitch!
Samuel: Do you take constructive criticism?
Nich: I only take cash or credit.
Nich: Anybody have any questions?
Samuel: Is this legal?
Nich: Any other questions?
Titania: How much for the knife shoes?
Alys: Those are ice skates.
Titania: I must have them.
Giana: You can't just follow me into a faery circle!
Vivian: Then don't run into a faery circle!
Oberon: Why are my hands shaking?
Robin: Your skeleton is ready to hatch.
Oberon:
Oberon: Robin, what the actual fuck?
Titania: What the fuck.
Robin: You’ll have to be more specific. I do a lot of ‘what the fuck’ kind of stuff.
Oscar: Do you know why I came to you for help?
Percy: I assumed you’d lost a bet.
Casey, texting: We need to talk.
Beck, also texting: Lmao lost my phone can't talk right now.
Casey: Oh ok, let me know when you find it.
Casey:
Casey: Wait-
Gracelyn: You know, you could just swallow your pride and ask for help.
Jesse: I could, but I've heard that pride leaves an awful aftertaste and we're all out of Coke to wash it down.
Sybella: You will lose everything you hold dear. Your friends will suffer for the mistakes you've made. You will be cursed to roam the world, unsatisfied, until the day you die.
Jesse: Joke's on you. I already lose everything on a daily basis, I don't have friends, and I've been roaming the world unsatisfied ever since our local Burger King closed down 3 years ago.
Delphinia: Oh my gosh, I left the door unlocked. That whole time.
Clem: Someone could have just walked right in!
Martell: They could've taken our valuables!
Hex: They could've eaten all the leftover cookie dough!
Jesse: Can I please use your shower?
Clem: Only if you put it back when you're done.
Gracelyn: Do you take constructive criticism?
Hex: I only take cash or credit.
Hex: Any questions?
Jesse: Is this legal?
Hex: Any other questions?
Hex: How much for the knife shoes?
Martell: Those are ice skates.
Hex: No. Knife shoes. I must have them.
Calla: You know, you could just swallow your pride and ask for help.
Oleander: I could, but I've heard that pride leaves an awful aftertaste and we're all out of wine to wash it down.
The Erl King: You will lose everything you hold dear. Your friends will suffer for the mistakes you've made. You will be cursed to roam the world, unsatisfied, until the day you die.
Oleader: Joke's on you. I already lose everything on a daily basis, I don't have friends, and I've been roaming the world unsatisfied ever since my court was collapsed.
Marcus: Twyllo's sake, I left the door unlocked that whole time-
Jon: Someone could have just walked right in!
Oliver: They could've seen our plans.
Ansel: They could've eaten all the leftover cookie dough!
(I feel like Jack and Oleander would get along, but I also feel like they would try to slit each other’s throats within thirty seconds of meeting)
(Same lmao)
jo: do you take constructive criticism?
caroline: i only take cash or credit.
catori: any questions?
nicky: is this legal.
catori: any other questions?
catori: how much for the knife shoes
cisco: those are ice skates
catori: knife shoes. i must have them.
Varian: Dinner is done!
Leaoni: Did you cook it?
Varian: Yes…?
Leaoni: ALUNE, VARIAN COOKED DINNER AGAIN!
Alune: I’ll call the pizza place.
WEBSITE: Please choose a password.
Kallai: Sana
WEBSITE: Too weak.
Kallai, drawing his sword: Say that again, I dare you.
Alune: [Gets a paper cut] Ow!
Varian: Idiot.
[Later]
Madam Margo: So let me get this straight: you want to ban the use of paper?
Varian: It’s fucking dangerous okay
Kallai: Are you okay?
Sana, crying: Yeah, it’s just the onions-
Kallai, to the onions: What the fuck did you say to her?
[At the hospital]
Doctor: I’m sorry, only family is allowed to see Miran right now.
Varian: Bold of you to assume I won’t legally adopt him RiGhT nOw.
Alune: I wish I could say he was joking.
Leaoni: Hope you get run over.
Frost: Hoping is all well and good, but ultimately, it gets you nowhere. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. You lazy fool.
Doctor: I’m sorry, only family is allowed to see Oliver right now.
Marcus: Bold of you to assume I won’t legally adopt him right now.
Jon: I wish I could say he was joking.
Tabitha: I hope you get run over.
Kels: Hoping is all well and good, but ultimately, it gets you nowhere. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. You lazy fool.
Max: May I have your permission to marry your sister?
Erica: What is this, the dark ages? You know what, since you asked, no, you can't. Beat me in a fist fight first.
cisco: may i have your permission to date your brother?
catori: what is this, the dark ages? you know what, since you asked, no, you can't. beat me in a fist fight first.
Kage: I guess I'm too tough to cry.
Asumi: Just today you were crying when you saw Collin's snake
Kage: IT DON'T HAVE ANY ARMS-
Kage: May I have your permission to date your cousin?
Eri: What is this, the dark ages? you know what, since you asked, no, you can't. beat me in a gambling match first.
Nanami: You will lose everything you hold dear. Your friends will suffer for the mistakes you've made. You will be cursed to roam the world, unsatisfied, until the day you die.
Kage: Joke's on you. I already lose everything on a daily basis, I don't have friends, and I've been roaming the world unsatisfied ever since our local KFC closed down 3 years ago.