forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

tune

Ash: Alright, give me your hairdryer.
Angie: What?
Emily: What are you talking about?
Ash: Don't you carry one in your purse?
Emily: Have you ever met a human woman?
Ash: calls Poppy
Ash to Poppy: Hey, do you carry a hairdryer in your purse?
Poppy: Of course. I'm not an animal.

Emily: You were jealous of me? But you're the most beautiful, smartest, perfect girl in the world.
Angie: Well you're right about all those things. But for some reason when I meet boys, they act as if I'm going to do something horrible to them.

People: How do you solve problems like Parker? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Parker?
Thomas: An immigrant!
James: An orphan!
Aaron: A BASTARD

Harriet: I am a punk ass, hardcore woman who will fuck you up.
Johnny: You..literally spent the entire afternoon hearing weird aesthetic music and drawing flower tattoo designs.
Harriet: …
Johnny: …
Harriet: Your point being?

James: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Thomas: 88. King of insomnia!
Ash: Bitch, it's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Aaron: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Ash: What are you even doing, Thomas?
Thomas, sarcastically: Worshiping Satan, obviously.
Ash: Seems a bit conceited to worship yourself, but whatever makes you happy.

Literally everyone: What are you even doing, Lucifer?
Lucifer, sarcastically: Worshiping Satan, obviously.
Everyone: Seems a bit conceited to worship yourself, but whatever makes you happy.

Chopper: I am going to fight you. Even though you are very tall, and could probably step on me. I HAVE NO FEAR!
Brook: stands up
Chopper: I have some fear…

Jax: sees a cat and immediately runs towards it to pet it
Sanji, watching: I want one.
Law: A cat?
Sanji: A Jax.

Luffy: Look! There's a message in my alphabet soup! It says, "OOOOOOOOOOO"!!
Sanji:
Sanji: Those are Cheerios.

Sanji: You stole something from me when we met yesterday.
Nami: Sorry, I'll return your wallet.
Sanji: You stole my hear- wait, what?

Azami: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Zoro: 88. King of insomnia!
Law: Bitch, it's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Sanji: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Sanji: What are you even doing, Marimo?
Zoro, sarcastically: Worshiping Satan, obviously.
Sanji: Seems a bit conceited to worship yourself, but whatever makes you happy.

Allison: I am going to fight you. Even though you are very tall, and could probably step on me. I HAVE NO FEAR!
Vozreal: stands up
Allison: I have some fear…

Barry: Look! There's a message in my alphabet soup! It says, "OOOOOOOOOOO"!!
Kat:
Kat: Those are Cheerios.

Eliot: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Kels: 88. Queen of Insomnia!
Tabitha: Bitch, it's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Addie: You guys are terrifying.

Kels: What are you even doing, Tabitha?
Tabitha, sarcastically: Worshiping Satan, obviously.
Kels: Seems a bit conceited to worship yourself, but whatever makes you happy.

Lucifer: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Vozreal: 88. King of Insomnia!
Azrael: Bitch, it's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Allison: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Lysander: I am going to fight you. Even though you are very tall, and could probably step on me. I have no fear!
Evan: Stands up
Lysander: I have some fear…

Alice, to Jackson: Do you always run headlong into certain death?
Victor: Sometimes he walks. Occasionally shuffles. Once, I’m pretty sure I saw him amble into certain death.

Cellphone: Rings
Addie, answering: I’m busy.
Kay: Do you think drinking thirty-six cans of Red Bull consecutively would make my senses more heightened or would I just die?
Addie: …
Kay: …
Addie: I’m on my way.

Oliver: Can the sarcasm, Fox.
Nich: Please. I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Samuel: You have illegal contacts?
Nich: You don’t?

Imogen: Let’s not jump to any conclusions.
Kels: I didn’t jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.

Tabitha, to the rest of the students: And remember, if I get harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.

Kels: I know you and I don’t have the best relationship…
Tabitha: You mean I hate you and you hate me?
Kels: Right.
Tabitha: Right.

Robin: Friendly reminder that it’s okay if you’re 21 and you still can’t turn yourself into an entire murder of crows! Any species of corvid is fine!

Kels: Do you think we were friends in another life?
Tabitha: We’re not even friends in this life.
Kels: Yeah, that’s why I said “another life”, dumbass.

Geneva: Walked into a liquor store bleeding, that kind of night.

Tabitha: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Mr. Kitson, talking about Nich: That kid is going places.
Mr. Kitson: It might be to prison, but he’s going places.

Percy: We have a crisis!
Erik: It’s a good day when we only have one crisis.

Tabitha: Call me cynical, but is it entirely without the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive?
The Director: Tabitha, I hope you know me better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives in play.

Trinity: What’s going on?
Louis: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Trinity: The short one.
Carter: Shit’s fucked.

Kels: Well I did go to summer camp. For two weeks. I got kicked out.
Imogen: Kicked out?
Kels: Yeah. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say I don’t like liars who steal nail polish and then pass out when you slap them a little bit on the back of the head.

Law, to Luffy: Do you always run headlong into certain death?
Azami: Sometimes he walks. Occasionally shuffles. Once, I’m pretty sure I saw him amble into certain death.

Marco: Can the sarcasm, Portgas.
Ace: Please. I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Nami: Let’s not jump to any conclusions.
Usopp: I didn’t jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.

Sanji: I know you and I don’t have the best relationship…
Zoro: You mean I hate you and you hate me?
Sanji: Right.
Zoro: Right.

Zoro: Walked into a liquor store bleeding, that kind of night.

Peregrine: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Shanks, talking about Azami: That kid is going places.
Shanks: It might be to prison but she’s going places.

Usopp: We have a crisis!
Nami: It’s a good day when we only have one crisis.

Nami: What’s going on?
Luffy: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Nami: The short one.
Azami: Shit’s fucked.

Beck: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Harper: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Robin: This forest is old. Very old.
Oberon: Robin, I know you think you’re helping, but be quiet.
Robin: I don’t think I’m helping.

Eliot: I love you guys, but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

Louis: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Gabriel: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Samuel, to Nich: You know, when you agree with me, it makes me question whether I actually agree with me.

Pietyr: This plan of Katya's, one assumes it is entirely legal?
Tabitha: Of course.
Eliot: Entirely.
Pietyr: Right. Wasn’t here. Didn’t know about it. Couldn’t have stopped you.

Victor: I’m tired.
Geneva: Same.
Jackson: Same.
Henry: Same.
Victor: Glad we’re all on the same page.

Geneva: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating
Geneva: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Joan: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Beck: Did humans invent math or did we discover it? Does math even exist?
Two hours later
Beck: I already regret asking my question because Marisol keeps trying to explain math and it’s making me nauseous.

Iam: I never understood angry ghosts. They’re already dead, what’s there to be angry about?
Vivian: That they’re dead, Iam.

Samuel: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Nich, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.

Trinity: There is a strict no-animals policy at this restaurant.
Darlene: Okay.
Trinity: Except for Louis' pet cat.
Carter: And Louis' high horse, which occasionally makes an appearance.

Calla: You should listen to me. I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed.

Darlene: Sure, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she’s a ‘goddess’, but when I do it I’m ‘drunk’ and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium’.

Esther: No matter how self-absorbed and shallow you pretend to be-
Oleander: Excuse me, there’s no pretense here! I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.

Mourton: Look, have I ever put you in an unsafe position?
Nich: All the time!
Mourton: Then you should be used to it by now.

Allison: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Vozreal: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Azrael: No matter how self-absorbed and shallow you pretend to be-
Vozreal: Excuse me, there’s no pretense here! I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.

Azrael: Look, have I ever put you in an unsafe position?
Allison: All the time!
Azrael: Then you should be used to it by now.

Vivi: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was queen of the ducks.
Pell: I would, but then I’d be lying to the Queen of All Ducks.

Luffy: This forest is old. Very old.
Law: Luffy, I know you think you’re helping, but be quiet.
Luffy: I don’t think I’m helping.

Luffy: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Law: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Law, to Luffy: You know, when you agree with me, it makes me question whether I actually agree with me.

Law: I’m tired.
Jax: Same.
Penguin: Same.
Shachi: Same.
Law: Glad we’re all on the same page.

Nami: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Luffy: Did humans invent math or did we discover it? Does math even exist?
Two hours later
Luffy: I already regret asking my question because Robin keeps trying to explain math and it’s making me nauseous.

Luffy: I never understood angry ghosts. They’re already dead, what’s there to be angry about?
Robin: That they’re dead, Luffy.

Usopp: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Nami, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.

Sanji: There is a strict no-animals policy at this restaurant.
Nami: Okay.
Sanji: Except for Chopper.
Zoro: And Usopp's high horse, which occasionally makes an appearance.

Estella: Sure, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she’s a ‘goddess’, but when I do it I’m ‘drunk’ and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium’.

Vozreal: Sure, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she’s a ‘goddess’, but when I do it I’m ‘drunk’ and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium’.

Nich: This city is old. Very old.
Samuel: Nich, I know you think you’re helping, but be quiet.
Nich: I don’t think I’m helping.

Nich: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Mourton: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Portia: I’m tired.
Quinn: Same.
Talia: Same.
Vince: Same.
Portia: Glad we’re all on the same page.

Lyra: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Eliot: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Kay, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.

Titania: Sure, when Dasi lies around naked in a giant clam shell they're a ‘deity’, but when I do it I’m ‘drunk’ and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium’.

Kallai: I have no fear.
Kallai: [realises Varian has been too quiet lately]
Kallai: I have one fear

Sana, to Leaoni: Do you always run headlong into certain death?
Alune: Sometimes she walks. Occasionally shuffles. Once, I’m pretty sure I saw her amble into certain death.

Kallai: What are you even doing, Varian?
Varian, sarcastically: Worshiping Satan, obviously.
Kallai: Seems a bit conceited to worship yourself, but whatever makes you happy..

Cellphone: Rings
Alune, answering: I’m busy.
Varian: Do you think drinking thirty-six cans of Red Bull consecutively would make my senses more heightened or would I just die?
Alune:
Alune: I'm on my way.

Leaoni: Can the sarcasm, Alune.
Alune: Please. I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Leaoni: You have illegal contacts?
Zatian: You don’t?

Alune, during one of his lectures: And remember, if I get harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.

Frost: I know you and I don’t have the best relationship…
Leaoni: You mean I hate you and you hate me?
Frost: Right.
Leaoni: Right.

Zatian: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Marcello, talking about Varian: My kid is going places.
Marcello: It might be to prison, but he’s going places.

Varian: We have a crisis!
Alune: It’s a good day when we only have one crisis.

Alune: Call me cynical, but is it entirely without the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive?
Frost: Alune, I hope you know me better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives in play.

Kallai: What’s going on?
Leaoni: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Kallai: The short one.
Leaoni: Shit’s fucked.

Varian: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Leaoni: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Frost: This forest is old. Very old.
Kallai: Frost, I know you think you’re helping, but be quiet.
Frost: I don’t think I’m helping.

Sana: I love you guys, but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

Varian: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Kallai: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Alune, to Varian: You know, when you agree with me, it makes me question whether I actually agree with me.

Sana: This plan of Varian's, one assumes it is entirely legal?
Leaoni: Of course.
Frost: Entirely.
Sana: Right. Wasn’t here. Didn’t know about it. Couldn’t have stopped you.

Varian: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating
Varian: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Zatian: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Frost: I never understood angry ghosts. They’re already dead, what’s there to be angry about?
Leaoni: That they’re dead, Frost.

Alune: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Varian, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.

Leaoni: Sure, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she’s a ‘goddess’, but when I do it I’m ‘drunk’ and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium’.

Frost: Look! There's a message in my alphabet soup! It says, "OOOOOOOOOOO"!!
Sana:
Sana: Those are Cheerios.

Anthony: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating.
Anthony: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Dally: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Anthony: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Perry: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Jack: Haters will see you kill one person and call you a murderer

Sophie: Can you drive
Elliott: Can I drive?
Elliott accidentally drive in a river while toyko drift plays in the background

Valerie: Lemme get this straight, you basically gone crazy and are now seeing ghosts
Sophie: Yep
Valerie: And It's the vice president
Sophie: Yep
Valerie: And she even uptight than usual
Sophie: Yep that's pretty much it
Valerie: ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID
Sophie: Probably but that has nothing to do with that

Kelly: The only B word I call my sister is beautiful
Kelly: Right bitch
Emma: Kelly! Stop that! Come on

Elijah: When I was born, God said "finally, I made perfection"
Sophie: No, I think when you were born, Satan was like "Lookie, a competitor."

Bonita: Are you Reiji
Annoyed Alvis storms off
Bonita: What are you do-
Alvis grabs a knife
Bonita: BITCH

Matthew holding skipper and making him pick up cat food: You're helping. You did it, you're helping. You're going pick this up one little curl at a time and you're going to like it. Because I'm fed up with your bullshit.

Lucas: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating.
Lucas: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Sophie: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Ava: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Elijah: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Duke: Haters will see you kill one person and call you a murderer

Lyra: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Trix: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Talia: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Lyra: Haters will see you kill one person and call you a murderer

Eliot: You stole something from me when we talked yesterday.
Tabitha: Sorry, I'll return your wallet.
Eliot: You stole my hear- wait, what?

Jackson: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Geneva: 88. You can call me the queen of insomnia.
Victor: It's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Henry: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Felix: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Austin: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Felix: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Felix: Haters will see you kill one person and call you a murderer

Felix: You stole something from me when we talked yesterday.
Some girl: Sorry, I'll return your wallet.
Felix: You stole my hear- sorry, what?

Felix: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Jarrod: 88. You can call me the queen of insomnia.
Austin: It's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Mel: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Austin: Can you drive
Felix, chuckling: Can I drive?
Felix, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS PREPARE TO BE IGNORED
Austin: I've made an incalculably large error

Austin: The only B word I call Mel is beautiful
Austin: Right bitch?
Mel: Really Austin

Felix: When I was born, God said "finally, I made perfection"
Jarrod: No, I think when you were born, Satan was like "Lookie, a competitor."

Felix: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating.
Felix: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Alune: You can’t solve every problem with a STUPID SONG!
Varian: I can, I have, and I will!

Frost: High five!
Frost: [slaps Varian in the face]
Frost: Sorry, I missed it.

Sana: What's the hardest thing for you to say?
Alune: I was wrong.
Varian: I need help.
Leaoni: Worcestershire sauce.

Kallai: Here’s a list of everything that’s wrong with you.
Sana: It’s…blank?
Kallai: Yes. That’s the point.

Varian: Miran, go play with Leaoni.
Miran: Okay! [Leaves]
Frost: That kid’s gotten so big. What is he, four?
Varian:
Varian: I don’t know what he’s for.

Zatian: My therapist told me I have problems with seeking revenge.
Zatian: We’ll see about that.

Law: You can’t solve every problem with a STUPID SONG!
Brook: I can, I have, and I will!

Sanji: High five!
Sanji: slaps Zoro in the face
Sanji: Sorry, I missed it.

Robin: What's the hardest thing for you to say?
Usopp: I was wrong.
Nami: I need help.
Luffy: Worcestershire sauce.

Law: Here’s a list of everything that’s wrong with you.
Jax: It’s…blank?
Law: Yes. That’s the point.

Shanks: Peregrine, go play with Azami.
Peregrine: Okay! leaves
Beckman: That kid’s gotten so big. What is she, four?
Shanks:
Shanks: I don’t know what he’s for.

Nami: My therapist told me I have problems with seeking revenge.
Nami: We’ll see about that.

Chan: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Lucas: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Ren: Can you drive
Chan, chuckling: Can I drive?
Chan, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS PREPARE TO BE IGNORED
Ren: I've made an incalculably large error

Lucas: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating.
Lucas: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Elyas: Look! There's a message in my alphabet soup! It says, "OOOOOOOOOOO"!!
Lucas:
Lucas: Those are Cheerios.

Ren: What’s going on?
Chan: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Ren: The short one.
Chan: Shit’s fucked.

Ren, talking about Chan: My kid is going places.
Ren: It might be to prison, but he’s going places.

Aunty Li: There is a strict no-animals policy at this restaurant.
Zephyr: Okay.
Aunty Li: Except for Lucas' cat.
Chan: And Lucas' high horse, which occasionally makes an appearance.

Ren: I know you and I don’t have the best relationship…
Jay: You mean I hate you and you hate me?
Ren: Right.
Jay: Right.

Himari: Here’s a list of everything that’s wrong with you.
Elyas: It’s…blank?
Himari: Yes. That’s the point.

Chan: I'll have the usual
Bartender: Kool-Aid with whipped cream?
Chan: [glaring]
Chan: With EXTRA whipped cream

Zephyr: Hey Lucas, does Bunny* smoke?
Lucas: What?? No!
Zephyr: Well in that case your kitchen is on fire
*[Lucas' cat]

Elyas: Hey, what are you looking at?
Lucas: [taking a quiz about what kind of off-brand potato chip he is] Porn

Victor: Can you drive?
Jackson, laughing: Can I drive?
Jackson, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS, PREPARE TO BE IGNORED!
Victor: I've made an incalculably large error

Henry: What’s going on?
Victor: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Henry: The short one.
Geneva: Shit’s fucked.

Alec, talking about Louis: That kid is going places.
Alec: It might be to prison, but he’s going places.

Jackson: Hey, what are you looking at?
Geneva, taking a quiz about what kind of off-brand potato chip she is: Porn