forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

tune

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Love: Shit.
Jack: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Karma: Emmett fell off a mile back, I didn't think it was important

Mugger, pulling out a knife: Give me all your money!
Felix: Well, this night took a sharp turn-

Jarrod: You know, not every problem can be solved with a gun.
Felix, nodding: That’s why I carry two guns.

Felix: I lost Em
Jarrod: What? How?
Felix: Give me a break, she's like 2 inches tall.

Felix: I'm not a thief, I'm a law-abiding citizen.
Jarrod: Really? Name one law.
Felix: Don't kill people.
Jarrod: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Austin: Can we go out to eat ice cream?
Felix: What did Jarrod say?
Austin: He said no.
Felix: Then why are you asking me?
Austin: Because he's not the boss of you.
Felix, internally: This is a trap this is a trap this is a trap-
Felix, out loud: Let's go get ourselves some motherhumpin ice cream.

Austin: [Drops hot chocolate]
Austin:
Austin: I’m so sick of being alive.

Mel to Em: I will cast a spell to make you have a good day!
Mel: [pretends to cast spell]
Mel: There!
Austin: Burn the witch

Felix: Dirt. Mmm.
Jarrod: The D in dirt stands for "do not eat this please."
Felix: But the IRT stands for "it's really tasty."

Felix: You've heard of alphabet soup, now get ready for Times New Ramen!
Jarrod: Shut up

Jarrod, peeking under the bed: Austin? Are you ready to come out and interact with other people?
Austin: growling
Jarrod: Understandable.

Felix: You're so unapproachable!
Austin: And yet here you are.

Jarrod: You're bleeding internally.
Austin: Good that's where the blood is supposed to be
Jarrod:[slap]

Jarrod, at Felix's funeral: We'll miss everything about Felix. Except for his pranks, those were the worst.
Felix, in the coffin: [Sweats nervously]

Austin: Why are there so many days??? I feel like we just had a whole day yesterday. Stop it.

Anybody: If you friends jumped off a-
Jarrod, Felix, Austin, and Mel: Yes, absolutely

Austin: [closes the fridge door and hears stuff fall in it]
Austin: Well…sounds like a problem for the next person.
[later[
Austin: [opens the fridge and is immediately knocked over by the stuff that fell]

Felix: Who are you talking to?
Jarrod: I'm on the phone with Pizza Hut.
Felix: Who the hell is Pizza Hut and why are you talking to them? Are they pretty?

Austin: Look, there's a message in my alphabet soup. It says, "OOOOOOOOOOO"
Mel:
Mel: Those are Cheerios.

Felix: What's a fish with no eyes called?
Jarrod: It's called an amblyopsidae.
Felix:
Felix: Fsh.

Adeline: I'm not like other girls. I'm worse.

Adeline: God, please give me patience.
Jaime: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Adeline: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Jaime: It's impossible to say the word bubbles and make it sound angry.
Adeline: Oh yeah?
[later]
Evie: Can someone please tell me why Addie has been screaming "bubbles" for fifteen minutes?

Evie: Are you a morning person or a night person?
Adeline: I'm barely even a person.

Evie: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.
Adeline: Jaime?
Jaime, blushing: Yeah?
Adeline: Could you move? I'm trying to get to my tea.

Jaime: Listen up fives, a ten is speaking.

Jaime: Love is dead and never existed. You betrayed me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.
Douglas: Jaime? Are you okay?
Jaime: Adeline took my garlic bread.

Evie: If I were a drink, I'd be a cherry vanilla coke. What drink would you be?
Adeline: Bleach.
Jaime: Sewage.
Evie: Okay geez, calm down edgelords.

Varian: I’m ignoring you.
Alune:
Varian: I said I’m ignoring you!
Alune:
Varian: Stop ignoring me ignoring you!

Leaoni: [leaning towards Kallai] Kallai doesn't know I'm drunk right now!
Kallai: [unimpressed] You're drunk, Leaoni?
Leaoni: Oh, oops.
Leaoni: [leaning towards Varian] Kallai doesn't know I'm drunk right now!

Alune, about Varian: I can excuse the dark magic, but I draw the line at keeping secrets.
Kallai: You can excuse the dark magic?

Varian holding baby Miran and talking about Alune, Sana and Kallai: Don’t listen to those guys. They’re trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks.

Sana: Repeat after me. I…
Leaoni: I…
Sana: Will go see a therapist.
Leaoni: Will dye my hair.

[At a very important conference]
Zatian: You’re late.
Varian: First of all, you’re lucky I decided to come.

Sana: Leaoni and I were crossing the street, and this guy drove by and honked at us.
Kallai, sighing: What did Leaoni do?
Sana: She chased them to the next red light, then reached into his window and…
Leaoni: Who wants a steering wheel?

Frost: You’re losing too much blood! Kallai, what’s your blood type??
Kallai: B positive-
Frost: I’m trying!!

Leaoni: [Standing in front of locked door] Fortunately, I have a delicate lock-picking technique.
Leaoni: [Punches door down]

Frost: From the bottom of my heart, i just want to say that…I’m not sorry.

“Wake me up”
Sana: Before you go go.
Alune: When September ends.
Varian: WAKE ME UP INSIDE.

Frost: What are you doing?!
Zatian, holding a dagger to someone’s throat: Is it not obvious?

Varian: This party is lame. Imma head out.
Zatian: For the last time, you’re being kidnapped.

Frost: Alright, I’m going to bed.
Kallai: You just got up though?
Frost: It’s been a tough day.
Kallai: You just got up though?

Sana: Just be yourself and they’ll love you.
Varian: Be myself? Have you met me? Guys how long did it take before you started liking me?
Alune: Couple weeks.
Frost: Six months.
Kallai: Jury’s still out.
Varian: See, Sana? ‘Be yourself’, what kind of garbage advice is that!

Miran: [hugs Varian]
Varian: What is this?
Miran: Affection!
Varian, tearing up: Disgusting.

Cyrus, about Jack: I can excuse the dark magic, but I draw the line at keeping secrets.
Anthony: You can excuse the dark magic?

Dally: [Hugs Anthony]
Anthony: What is this?
Dally: Affection!
Anthony, tearing up: Disgusting.

Cyrus: This party is lame. Imma head out.
Suanne: For the last time, you’re being kidnapped.

Dally: Repeat after me. I…
Cyrus: I…
Dally: Will go see a therapist.
Cyrus: Will dye my hair.

Quill: Azzi and I were crossing the street, and this guy drove by and honked at us.
Anthony, sighing: What did Azazel do?
Quill: Xe chased them to the next red light, then reached into their window and-
Azazel: Who wants a steering wheel?

Karma: You’re late.
Jack: First of all, you’re lucky I decided to come.

Allison: Repeat after me. I…
Rachel: I…
Allison: Will go see a therapist.
Rachel: Will dye my hair.

Titania, about Oberon: I can excuse the dark magic, but I draw the line at keeping secrets.
Juniper: You can excuse the dark magic?

Morgan: Repeat after me. I…
Jackson: I…
Morgan: Will go see a therapist.
Jackson: Will dye my hair.

Kels: Kay and I were crossing the street, and this guy flew by and honked at us.
Addie, sighing: What did Kay do?
Kels: Kay chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and-
Kay: Who wants a steering wheel?

Alys: You’re late.
Oleander: First of all, you’re lucky I decided to come.

Rabbit!Colton: This flower could represent our friendship
Flower droops
Rabbit!Colton: You guys aren't talking about killing me, are you
Cat!Mark: I do have a good broiler
Ghost!Duke: That should work, we can't have him betray us again

Tyler: I really, really, really, love explosions
Micheal: That's a nice… quirk
Tyler: BECAUSE I'M A TERRORIST

Colton: Back in my day, jocks would just give wet willies and wedgies, not over to satan
Elijah: I'm sacrificing you to my brother for your information, old man

Tabitha: I'm not like other girls. I'm worse.

Addie: Are you a morning person or a night person?
Tabitha: I'm barely even a person.

Imogen: If I were a drink, I'd be a cherry vanilla pop. What drink would you be?
Tabitha: Bleach.
Kels: Calm down, edgelord.

Georgie: I’m ignoring you.
Christopher:
Georgie: I said I’m ignoring you!
Christopher:
Georgie: Stop ignoring me ignoring you!

Oleander: Don’t listen to those guys. They’re trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks.

Teagan: Repeat after me. I…
Della: I…
Teagan: Will go see a therapist.
Della: Will dye my hair.

Samuel: You're late.
Nich: First of all, you’re lucky I decided to come.

Kay, standing in front of locked door: Fortunately, I have a delicate lock-picking technique.
Kay: Punches the door down

Titania: From the bottom of my heart, i just want to say…I’m not sorry.

Liesl: What are you doing?!
Tabitha, holding a dagger to Liesl's throat: Is it not obvious?

Imogen: Hugs Tabitha
Tabitha: What is this?
Imogen: Affection!
Tabitha, tearing up: Disgusting.

Cyrus: Look, Anthony, we all know you like him.
Anthony: I don’t like Dally. Shut up.
Cyrus: I never said who I was talking about.
Anthony:
Cyrus:
Anthony: Okay, listen-

Azazel: Don’t listen to those guys. They’re trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks.

Perry: I’m ignoring you.
Elias:
Perry: I said I’m ignoring you!
Elias:
Perry: Stop ignoring me ignoring you!

Cyrus, standing in front of locked door: Fortunately, I have a delicate lock-picking technique.
Cyrus: Kicks the door down

Anthony: What are you doing?
Dally, standing on a chair: I live here, y'know. I can stand wherever I want, thank you very much.
Anthony:
Anthony: Okay, where’s the spider?
Dally: Under the table.

Jack, to the whole detective gang: How dare you all infect me with morals.

Aspen: Look, Oberon, we all know you like her.
Oberon: I don’t like Titania. Stop asking me about her.
Aspen: I never said who I was talking about.
Oberon:
Aspen:
Oberon: Okay, listen-

Geneva: How dare you all infect me with morals.

Darius: Look, Jon, we all know you like him.
Jon: I don’t like Oliver. Shut up.
Darius: I never said who I was talking about.
Jon:
Darius:
Jon: Okay, listen-

Nich: How dare you all infect me with morals.

Azazel: How dare you all infect me with morals.

Dally, standing at the coffin at Cyrus' funeral: I can’t believe I have to say goodbye… I need a moment on my own, guys…
The rest of the gang, leaving: Alright, take as long as you need.
Dally: The coast is clear.
Cyrus: This is our best prank yet!

Love: How did they get this little cat into the phone?
Jack: Love, I know you know what the internet is.
Love: They used a net?
Jack: I saw you on Twitter an hour ago!

Quill: Hey, can I ask your advice on something?
Azazel: Are you sure, dude? Isn’t there someone else better you could ask? Like, literally anyone else?

The Sandman: I told you to stop doing that with the knives.
Azazel, with knives taped to xyr hands: But Wolverine has–
The Sandman: I said stop.

Vozreal: How dare you all infect me with morals.

Allison, standing at the coffin at Azrael' funeral: I can’t believe I have to say goodbye… I need a moment on my own, guys…
The rest of the gang, leaving: Alright, take as long as you need.
Allison: The coast is clear.
Azrael: This is our best prank yet!

Azrael: How did they get this little cat into the phone?
Hellyn: Love, I know you know what the internet is.
Azrael: They used a net?
Hellyn: I saw you on Twitter an hour ago!

Allison: Hey, can I ask your advice on something?
Azrael: Are you sure, dude? Isn’t there someone else better you could ask? Like, literally anyone else?

Kels: How dare you all infect me with morals.

Kay: How did they get this little cat into the phone?
Addie: Kay, I know you know what the internet is.
Kay: They used a net?
Addie: I saw you on Twitter an hour ago!

Jon: Hey, can I ask your advice on something?
Nich: Are you sure? Isn’t there someone else better you could ask? Like, literally anyone else?

Kels: I told you to stop doing that with the knives.
Kay, with knives taped to their hands: But Wolverine has–
Kels: I said stop.

Vozreal: You're late.
Azrael: First of all, you’re lucky I decided to come.

Allison: Hugs Rachel
Rachel: What is this?
Allison: Affection!
Rachel, tearing up: Disgusting.

catori, peeking under the bed: jo? are you ready to come out and interact with other people?
jo: growling
catori: understandable. i'll get you some left overs

---

nicky: you're so unapproachable!
jo: and yet here you are.

---

caroline: you're bleeding internally.
catori: that's where the blood is supposed to be, perfect
nicky: long sigh

---

catori: i told you to stop doing that with my knives
kas, with knives taped to his hands: but wolverine has–
jo: let the boy be wolverine!

Addie: Eliot is bleeding internally.
Kay: That's where the blood is supposed to be, perfect!
Kels: Long sigh

Chan, standing in front of locked door: Fortunately, I have a delicate lock-picking technique
Chan: [kicks the door down]

Zephyr: Look, Lucas, we all know you like him
Lucas: I don’t like Chan. Shut up
Zephyr: I never said who I was talking about
Lucas:
Zephyr:
Lucas: Okay, listen-

Ren: You're late
Lucas: First of all, you’re lucky I decided to come

Ren: Repeat after me: I…
Chan: I…
Ren: Will go see a therapist
Chan: Will buy more rubber duckies

Chan: If I were a drink, I'd be a milk bubble tea. What drink would you be?
Lucas: Bleach
Chan: Calm down, edge lord

Himari: [Hugs Lucas]
Lucas: What is this?
Himari: Affection!
Lucas, tearing up: Disgusting

Zephyr, at Chan's funeral: We'll miss everything about Chan. Except for his pranks, those were the worst
Chan, in the coffin: [sweats nervously]

Chan: Dirt. Mmm
Ren: The D in dirt stands for "do not eat this please."
Chan: But the IRT stands for "it's really tasty."

Elyas to Chan: Why do you always let me win the stair-climbing race? I know you're faster than me
Chan: I like to see your smile when you win
Elyas to Zephyr: He's staring at my ass, isn't he?
Zephyr: Yeah, he's staring at your ass

Chan and Himari: [pointing laser pointer at the floor]
Elyas: You know, just because Zephyr's a dragon doesn't mean she's like a cat-
Chan and Himari: [move the laser pointer across the floor]
Zephyr: [jumps over the couch to chase the dot]
Elyas: Really, Zephyr-

a classmate: what's the stupidest thing you've ever done for a dare
catori: died

Aristotle: Look, Percy, we all know you like her.
Percy: I don’t like Alessandra. Shut up.
Aristotle: I never said who I was talking about
Percy:
Aristotle:
Percy: Okay, listen-

Tabitha: You're late
Kels: You’re lucky I decided to come

Titania: Pointing laser pointer at the floor
Oberon: You know, just because Robin is a Summoned doesn't mean they're like a cat-
Titania: Move the laser pointer across the floor
Robin: Jumps over the couch to chase the dot
Oberon: Really, Robin-

Quill: [Pointing laser pointer at the floor]
Anthony: You know, just because Azazel's an angel doesn't mean xe's like a cat-
Quill: [Moves the laser pointer across the floor]
Azazel: [Jumps over the couch to chase the dot]
Anthony: Really, Azzi-

Vozreal: Pointing laser pointer at the floor
Allison: You know, just because Azrael is The Grim Reaper doesn't mean she's like a cat-
Vozreal Move the laser pointer across the floor
Azrael: Jumps over the couch to chase the dot
Allison: Really, Azrael-

Jesse: Who actually likes sour candy? Who says "I'm gonna eat this candy covered in pain salt and like it?"
Delphinia: Me. Feed me the pain salt.

Jesse: You’re losing too much blood! Del, what’s your blood type?
Delphinia: B positive-
Jesse: I’m trying, okay?!

Hex: From the bottom of my heart, I just want to say that… I’m not sorry.

Jesse: What are you doing?!
Hex, holding a dagger to Sybella’s throat: Is it not obvious?

Jesse: This party is lame. Imma head out.
Sybella: For the last time, you’re being kidnapped.

Delphinia: *hugs Hex*
Hex: What is this?
Delphinia: Affection!
Hex, tearing up: Disgusting.

Gracelyn: I told you to stop doing that with the knives.
Jesse, with knives taped to his hands: But Wolverine has–
Gracelyn: I said stop.