forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

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Beck: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast” time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken

Casey: Wake up, Randall, it's morning.
Beck: I'm dead, keep your stupid flowers and go.

Louis: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.

Oberon: Stop that.
Robin: Stop what?
Oberon: Motions his hands from Robin's head to their feet
Robin: You just vaguely gestured to all of me

Talia: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"

Quinn: You want to hear a pun?
Portia: No.
Quinn: Yes you do. Okay, here it goes-

Elijah: How long does it take to get to the convenience store?
Byungho: 5 minutes….Wait….
Byungho: [thinks about how many cats he could pet and feed on the way]
Byungho: 50 minutes.

Executioner: Last meal?
JJ: I want to eat the electric chair.
Executioner:
Executioner, through a walkie talkie: Can he do that??

Taeok: Do you see the answer to the problem now that I've explained it 12 times?
Jungwoo: Yes.
Taeok: Are you lying?
Jungwoo, voice cracking: Yes.

C.Ro: The path to inner peace begins with four words.
C.Ro: Not my fucking problem.

Random girl: H-hi, I didn't catch y-y-your name.
Sanghun: I didn't throw it.

Ezra: [finds Jason laying on the floor]
Ezra: Uh, you okay?
Jason: What if there's multiple you's in alternate timelines and your dreams are just seeing what they're doing?
Ezra:
Ezra: [lays on the floor next to Jason]

Executioner: Last meal?
Robin: I want to eat the electric chair.
Executioner:
Executioner, through a walkie talkie: Can they do that?

Jackson: You know, the path to inner peace begins with four words.
Geneva: "Not my fucking problem."

Doctor: I was going to ask you whether you were sexually active or not but-
Minwoo, wearing a hot dog costume: But what?

Haeil: Do you ever just wanna place your hands on someone's face, look into their eyes and violently jerk their head until their neck snaps?
Sebastian: That took an unexpected turn-
Jack: So did their head.

Hyungwon: Our dorm is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Maeng:
Maeng: That's not fair.
Maeng: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Chansung: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Basil: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Chansung, sobbing: Every single day.

Matthew: Migraine?
Adrian, wincing with his hands on his temples: Superglue, actually.

Talia: Do you ever just wanna place your hands on someone's face, look into their eyes and violently jerk their head until their neck snaps?
Portia: That took an unexpected turn.
Quinn: So did their head.

Marisol: Our dorm is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Harper: That's not fair.
Harper: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Kat: Migraine?
Frankie, wincing with his hands on his temples: Superglue, actually.

Kate: Our dorm is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Kristi: That's not fair.
Kristi: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Harper: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Marisol: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Harper: Every single day.

Azami: The ship is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Luffy: That's not fair.
Luffy: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Ace: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Marco: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Ace: Every single day.

Sanji: Zoro, get up!
Zoro: The next time I'll get out of bed is when my lifeless corpse is moved to its coffin.

Marisol, about Beckett: His mental health is going downhill.
Harper: I wouldn't say downhill, I'd more say downcliff.

Vozreal: Our house is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Azrael: That's not fair.
Azrael: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Damien: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Azrael: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Damien: Every single day.

Happy 1111th post!

Austin: How long does it take to get to the convenience store?
Em: 5 minutes….Wait….
Em: [thinks about how many cats she could pet and feed on the way]
Em: 50 minutes.

Executioner: Last meal?
Felix: I want to eat the electric chair.
Executioner:
Executioner, through a walkie talkie: Can he do that??

Jarrod: Do you see the answer to the problem now that I've explained it 12 times?
Felix: Yes.
Jarrod: Are you lying?
Felix, voice cracking: Yes.

Austin: The path to inner peace begins with four words.
Austin: Not my fucking problem.

Random guy: Hey, I didn't catch your name. winks
Mel: I didn't throw it.

Jarrod: [finds Jason laying on the floor]
Jarrod: Uh, you okay?
Felix: What if there's multiple you's in alternate timelines and your dreams are just seeing what they're doing?
Jarrod:
Felix: [lays on the floor next to Jason]

Doctor: I was going to ask you whether you were sexually active or not but-
Felix, wearing a hot dog costume: But what?

Austin: Do you ever just wanna place your hands on someone's face, look into their eyes and violently jerk their head until their neck snaps?
Felix: That took an unexpected turn-
Jarrod: So did their head.

Jarrod: Our house is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Felix:
Felix: That's not fair.
Felix: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Em: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Austin: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Em, stone faced: Every single day.

Jarrod: Migraine?
Felix, wincing with his hands on his temples: Superglue, actually.

Jarrod: Austin, get up!
Austin: The next time I'll get out of bed is when my lifeless corpse is moved to its coffin.

Mel, about Austin: His mental health is going downhill.
Austin, appearing out of the shadows: I wouldn't say downhill, I'd more say downcliff.

Jackson: How long does it take to get to the convenience store?
Martha: 5 minutes….Wait….
Martha: Thinks about how many cats she could pet and feed on the way
Martha: 50 minutes.

Christopher: The path to inner peace begins with four words.
Christopher: Not my fucking problem.

Doctor: I was going to ask you whether you were sexually active or not, but-
Harper, wearing a hot dog costume: But what?

Portia: Migraine?
Talia, wincing with her hands on her temples: Superglue, actually.

Jackson: Gen, get up!
Geneva: The next time I'll get out of bed is when my lifeless corpse is moved to its coffin.

Doctor: I was going to ask you whether you were sexually active or not, but-
Allison, wearing a hot dog costume: But what?

Vozreal: Migraine?
Azrael wincing with her hands on her temples: Superglue, actually

Austin: What are you doing?
Jarrod: Helping Felix find his chocolate I ate two hours ago.
-
Jarrod: Two, four, six, eight, why do people think I'm straight.
-
Jarrod: How do you sleep knowing that there can be people out there who don't like you?
Felix: Naked, in case they wanna kiss my ass.
-
[Mel teaching Austin how to drive]
Austin: But what if I step on the accelerator and the brake of the car at the same time?
Felix: It takes a screenshot.
Mel:
Mel: How did you get in here.
-
Austin: I once ate 170 jalapenos under 2 minutes.
Austin: Everyone at the hospital was so impressed.
-
Felix: Hey guys! Don't forget to drink water and stay hydrated! :D
Austin: No.
Felix: Then become the dirt I walk on.
-
Mel: Freedom of speech means nothing when we don't have freedom of fists.
Austin: I feel threatened.
Mel: The law protects you, for now.
-
Mel: Gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed.
Austin: No.
Mel: This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance bring me ungodly amounts of rage.
Austin: Word.
Mel: I want nothing more than to uppercut you directly to God's door.
-
Jarrod, half-asleep: How would you die in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
Felix, also half-asleep: Bullet to the head.
Jarrod: By an Oompa-Loompa or Mr. Wonka?
Felix: Charlie.

Felix: I’m feeling a little judged again
Jarrod: It’s probably because I’m judging you
Missy: It’s probably because we’re all judging you

Customer: I didn’t ask for the attitude.
Austin: I know. It’s on the house.
Later
Mel: Thank you for bringing this to my attention. In fact, I'll have him reprimanded here and now.
Austin: walks in
Mel: Austin, I've told you to stop giving stuff away for free.

Felix, on the phone: Jarrod?
Jarrod: Yes?
Felix: Okay, so, hypothetically–
Jarrod: I’m on my way

Austin, who didn't sleep last night again: Ugh, I can’t believe I lost my sunglasses!
Mel, staring at Austin's sunglasses on his head: I’ll help you find them for 20 bucks

Austin: How petty can you get?
Jarrod: I once edited a Wikipedia page to win an argument against Felix after realizing I'd misunderstood something.

Austin: If you spell skeletons backwards it still spells skeletons
Mel: Man, I can’t wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks!

Austin: I’m invoking the “no judgements” part of our friendship right now
Mel: Oh god, what did you do?

Felix: Wait, so you’re gay?
Jarrod: Yes
Felix: But you don’t act gay
Jarrod, sarcastically: Oh, sorry, I lost my rainbow a few days before I met you.

Felix: You peasants, using a knife to cut a cake
Felix, brandishing a longsword: THIS is how you cut a cake

Em: I am an expert at identifying birds
Austin, pointing at a crow: What’s that, then?
Em: That’s a bird. I feel like you should’ve known that

Felix, walking back into the house late at night: Hey I found this dog outside, can we keep him?
Austin, being carried by Felix: whAT THE FUCK–
Jarrod: That's a wolf, Robin.

Mel: Why are you eating a birthday cake? It’s not even your birthday
Austin: The cake doesn’t know that. It's trying its best.

Austin: terrible things happen to good people every day
Felix: consequently, i am not one of the good people. i am a terrible thing

Felix: i have bad news and good news
Jarrod: …what's the good news
Felix: the air bags on your car worked perfectly!
Jarrod:
Felix: i'm going to feed you your own arm

Mel: you look like a corpse
Austin: i've been unconscious for the past three hours to make up for not sleeping for three days

Em: i got you a mood ring so i know when you need a hug
Austin, about to start sobbing: they change depending on heat signatures but thank you

Em: how long can you go without sleep before you start to hallucinate
Austin: three days
Mel: how do you know?
Austin, staring blankly at nothing: there's a deer person behind you

Jarrod: stop throwing up in people's shoes
Felix, drunk off his ass: i will do no such thing

Missy: And what do we say when someone feels wronged by our actions?
Jarrod, deadpan: Hoes mad
Missy: Oh god. What has Thea been teaching you?

Austin: This gives me good ptsd
Mel: …You mean nostalgia?
Austin: Maybe?

Austin: Has anyone ever told you they loved you?
Mel: Do my parents count?
Austin: Yeah
Mel: Then no
Austin: Mel-

Austin: If you had to find your dog in a room with 49 identical dogs that are all equally excited to see you, how would you figure out which one is yours?
Em: I would bring all 50 dogs home and live like a queen

Felix: God, country and pop music is so awful
Jarrod: Cause I–
Felix: DUG MY KEY INTO THE SIDE OF HIS PRETTY LITTLE SOUPED UP FOUR WHEEL DRIVE

Mel: You know that can kill you, right?
Austin, downing six espresso shots in one go: Uh, yeah
Jarrod, smoking a cigarette: That’s the point
Felix, drinking bourbon straight from the bottle: We’re trying to speed this up
Em, eating raw cookie dough: nodding

Jarrod: Your existence is confusing
Felix: How so?
Jarrod: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me

Felix: Girls are hot
Felix: Guys are hot
Felix: You’re hot
Felix: I’m hot
Felix: Why is everyone so hot?
Jarrod: Global warming.

Austin: All I said was that I wanted Dominoes…
Felix: Yeah… and I got you Dominoes
Austin: I mean like some pizza not the whole company

Austin: There is no I in team
Austin: But there is one in pizza
Mel: So you’re not going to share?
Austin: No

Mel: Oh? You slept last night? Okay, name a yellow fruit
Austin: An orange
Austin:
Austin: Wait–

Felix: If I cut off my leg and swing it at you, am I hitting you or kicking you?
Jarrod: You’ll probably end up mentally scarring me more than anything
Austin: Riveting intellectual conversations here

Fen: What's a thot?
Tony: Oh, it's a thoughtful person.
Fen: Ahh, thanks. Jason, you're a thot.
Jason, choking: I'm a wHAT?!?

Seokju: I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Seokju: Luckily I forgot what it was so now I can do anything I want.

Astra: Milk, cheese, and butter all come from the same animal. I can't remember for sure what animal it is but it's the same one.
Kimmie: I'll give you a hint. It moos.
Astra: Right thanks, it comes from the moose.
Kimmie:

Maestro: I got the birthday cake!
Noir: It says "Happy 30th Birthday, Daniel"
Maestro: He's gonna be 25, isn't he?
Noir: His name is Damian.

JJ: I just don't understand all the hype about Game of Thrones.
Elijah: Why? It has dragons, sword fights, a great plot…
JJ: So does Shrek.

Basil: Sometimes Minwoo talks in his sleep, I think it's adorable.
Minwoo, sleeping: Fight me…You….motherfucker…Square up…I think the fuck not…

Carmen: Knight, what are you drinking?
Knight: Tea.
Carmen: What kind of tea?
Knight: Uh…Tea…quila.
Carmen: Knight, we've talked about this.

Vozreal: What's a thot?
Allison: Oh, it's a thoughtful person.
Vozreal: Ahh, thanks. Azrael, you're a thot.
Azrael, choking: I'm a wHAT?!?

Bee: What's a thot?
Kate: Oh, it's a thoughtful person.
Bee: Ah, thanks. Luci, you're a thot.
Luci, choking: I'm a wHAT?!?

Robin: I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Robin: Luckily I forgot what it was so now I can do anything I want.

Barry: Milk, cheese, and butter all come from the same animal. I can't remember for sure what animal it is but it's the same one.
Frankie: I'll give you a hint. It moos.
Barry: Right thanks, it comes from the moose.
Frankie:

Carter: I got the birthday cake!
Louis: It says "Happy 15th Birthday, Jacob"
Carter: Ugh. He's gonna be 12, isn't he?
Louis: His name is Jack.

Bee: I just don't understand all the hype about Game of Thrones.
Kate: Why? It has dragons, sword fights, a great plot…
Bee: So does Shrek.

Jon: Oliver, what are you drinking?
Oliver: Tea.
Jon: What kind of tea?
Oliver: Uh, tea…quila.
Jon: Ol, we've talked about this-

Sanji: Zoro, what are you drinking?
Zoro: Tea.
Sanji: What kind of tea?
Zoro: Uh, tea…quila.
Sanji: Ol, we've talked about this-

Azami: Milk, cheese, and butter all come from the same animal. I can't remember for sure what animal it is but it's the same one.
Chopper: I'll give you a hint. It moos.
Azami: Right thanks, it comes from the moose.
Chopper:

Victor: What are you drinking?
Geneva: Tea.
Victor: What kind of tea?
Geneva: Uh, tea…quila.
Victor:….
Jackson: Gen, we've talked about this-

Em: What's a thot?
Mel: Oh, it's a thoughtful person.
Mel: Ahh, thanks. Austin, you're a thot.
Austin: hUh?

Austin: I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Austin: Luckily I forgot what it was so now I can do anything I want.

Austin, who hasn't slept a wink: Milk, cheese, and butter all come from the same animal. I can't remember for sure what animal it is but it's the same one.
Mel: I'll give you a hint. It moos.
Austin: Right thanks, it comes from the moose.
Mel:

Felix: I got the birthday cake!
Jarrod: It says "Happy 21st Birthday, Douglas"
Felix: Ohh, he's gonna be 17, isn't he? I should return the beer then..
Felix: His name is Austin.

Felix: I just don't understand all the hype about Game of Thrones.
Jarrod: Why? It has dragons, sword fights, a great plot…
Felix: So does Shrek.

Jarrod: Sometimes Felix talks in his sleep, I think it's adorable.
Felix, sleeping: Fight me…You….motherfucker…Square up…I think the fuck not…

Jarrod: Felix, what are you drinking?
Felix: Tea.
Jarrod: What kind of tea?
Felix: Uh…Tea…quila.
Jarrod: Felix, we've talked about this.

Phillip: I got the birthday cake.
Sylvia: It says "Happy 17th Birthday, Isabelle"
Phillip: Ohh, she's gonna be 15, isn't she?
Sylvia: Her name is Eleanor.

Oscar: Two, four, six, eight, why do people think I'm straight-

Marya: How do you sleep knowing that there can be people out there who don't like you?
Oleander: Naked, in case they wanna kiss my ass.

Geneva: Freedom of speech means nothing when we don't have freedom of fists.
Max: I feel threatened.
Geneva: The law protects you. For now.

Robin, to the Erl King: I want nothing more than to uppercut you directly to Mab's door.

Victor, on the phone: Henry?
Henry: Yes?
Victor: Okay, so, hypothetically–
Henry: I’m on my way

Morgan: How petty can you get?
Jackson: I once edited a Wikipedia page to win an argument against Geneva after realizing I'd misunderstood something.

Robin: I am an expert at identifying birds
Titania, pointing at a crow: What’s that, then?
Robin: That’s a bird. I feel like you should’ve known that, Your Majesty.

Geneva: You look like a corpse.
Victor: I've been unconscious for the past three hours to make up for not sleeping for three days.

Jackson: How long can you go without sleep before you start to hallucinate?
Victor: Three days.
Jackson: How do you know?
Victor, staring blankly at nothing: There's a deer person behind you.

Jackson: If you had to find your dog in a room with 49 identical dogs that are all equally excited to see you, how would you figure out which one is yours?
Martha: I would bring all 50 dogs home and live like a queen

Erica: You know that can kill you, right?
Marisol, downing six espresso shots in one go: Uh, yeah.
Beck, smoking a cigarette: That’s the point
Casey, drinking bourbon straight from the bottle: We’re trying to speed this up
Harper, eating raw cookie dough: Nods

Henry: Oh? You slept last night? Okay, name a yellow fruit.
Victor, on two hours of sleep: An orange
Victor:
Victor: Wait–

Harper: If I cut off my leg and swing it at you, am I hitting you or kicking you?
Beck: You’ll probably end up mentally scarring me more than anything.
Marisol: Riveting intellectual conversations here.

Azrael, Allison, and Vozreal: Two, four, six, eight, why do people think I'm straight-

Allison: How do you sleep knowing that there can be people out there who don't like you?
Vozreal: Naked, in case they wanna kiss my ass.

Ronald: You know that can kill you, right?
Allison, downing six espresso shots in one go: Uh, yeah.
Vozreal, smoking a cigar: That’s the point
Azrael, drinking bourbon straight from the bottle: We’re trying to speed this up
Rachel, eating raw cookie dough: Nods

Jack, left alone with a kid:
Kid:
Jack: Say fuck.

Hyungwon: Who gave Chansung a knife?
Matthew: He felt unsafe so I gave him a knife for protection.
Hyungwon: Well now I feel unsafe.
Matthew: Oh I'm sorry.
Matthew:
Matthew: Would you like a knife too-

Kimin: How many biscuits did you eat? Roughly?
Adrian: I ate them all gently… :(

Chansung: I didn't kiss you goodbye so you ran after me for three blocks. Then you caught me, kissed me, and carried me all the way to school.
Jaesung: ALL I'M TRYING TO DO IS LOVE YOU GUYS. WHY WON'T YOU LET ME GUYS LOVE YOU?

Basil: Would it be stupid if Sebastian and I-
Haeil: Yes.

Maeng: Accents are just mouth fonts.

Jarrod: Hey Felix, what do you want to drink?
Felix: I only drink the blood of my enemies.
Jarrod:
Felix: And the occasional strawberry milkshake
__
Austin: Listen, I have about fourteen contacts in my phone and if you say that again I’ll have about thirteen
__
Austin, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti caramel macchiato with, uh…seven espresso shots
Mel, behind him: Jesus Christ, Austin, just do cocaine
__
Mel: If you were to die, what would be your last words?
Austin: Finally
Mel No-
__
Austin: Jarrod, can I go catch a movie tonight?
Jarrod: I’m not your mom, kid, do whatever the hell you want.
Austin:
Austin: Okay see y-
Jarrod: Be home by eleven, don’t talk to strangers and remember to look both ways before crossing the road
Austin:
Jarrod: Here, ten bucks for popcorn
__
Jarrod, on the phone with someone: Is it okay if I bring my weird roommate?
Felix: Would you please stop calling me that
__
Austin: Felix seems like he's maybe not the sharpest bulb.
Mel: The sharpest….? You know what? Never mind.
__
Jarrod: Please shut up.
Felix: Well, since you asked nicely, no.
__
Felix: You may not know this, Jarrod, but I am a flawed person-
Jarrod: I do know that.
__
Austin: You sure you’re sober enough to drive?
Felix: Yeah, I didn’t drink anything
Austin: Okay, go get the car
Jarrod: Running after Felix
Austin: It’s okay, he’s sober!
Jarrod: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE
__
Austin, bursting into Jarrod's study: why the fuck is the microwave on fire
Felix: i just wanted spaghetti-os!
Austin: but why is the microwave on fire
Jarrod: he probably put the whole can in
Felix: they come in cans so you can heat them up on the go!