Happy 1001 posts!
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Airport Security: Miss, I'm afraid you can't take that on the flight with you.
Felix: Chugs the entire bottle
Airport Security: There's no way you're 21, where are your parents?! We're going to need to get you to the hospital.
Felix: I was going to polish it off during the flight and now I'm going to be thirsty >:(
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Felix, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up.
Felix: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.
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Mel: Love is for the way you look at me.
Felix: O is for the only one I see.
Jarrod: V is very very extraordinary.
Austin: Egg.
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Felix: I think I'm the most responsible member of this group.
Jarrod: Not even an hour ago you shot the wall 7 times with your fucking Desert Eagle.
Felix: There was a spider.
Minwoo: Tonight I'm going to bed early!
Minwoo: Is that the sun?
Haeil: I swear to God if you keep stealing our kitchen utensils, I will move out.
Sebastian: That's a whisk I'm willing to take.
Dentist: Open wide.
Basil: :)
Dentist: I meant our mouth, not your arms.
Basil: ;(
Kimin: Maeng and Chansung are looking for trolls in the basement, aren't you gonna do something?
Jaesung: Of course, what kind of irresponsible parent do you think I am?
[ten minutes later]
Jaesung: Shh! We'll never catch them if we aren't quiet, trolls have incredible hearing.
Jack: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.
Matthew: All I drank was Red Bull.
Jack: How many?
Matthew: 70.
Hyungwon: [wears a slightly brighter shade of black]
Sebastian: I see you're breaking out the spring colors.
Adrian: [opens his mouth to speak]
Seokju, immediately: I don't know what you're going to say, but I think you're wrong.
Geneva: I swear to God if you keep stealing our kitchen utensils, I will move out.
Jackson: That's a whisk I'm willing to take.
Dentist: Open wide.
Eleanor: :)
Dentist: I meant our mouth, not your arms.
Eleanor: :(
Beck: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.
Casey: All I drank was Red Bull.
Beck: How many?
Casey: 70.
Geneva: Wears a slightly brighter shade of black
Jackson: I see you're breaking out the spring colors.
Peregrine: I swear to God if you keep stealing our kitchen utensils, I will move out.
Estella: That's a whisk I'm willing to take.
Zoro: Tonight I'm going to bed early!
Zoro: Is that the sun?
Peregrine: Zoro and Perona are looking for trolls in the basement, aren't you gonna do something?
Mihawk: Of course, what kind of irresponsible parent do you think I am?
[ten minutes later]
Mihawk: Shh! We'll never catch them if we aren't quiet, trolls have incredible hearing.
catori: tonight i'm going to bed early!
catori: is that the sun?
nicky: i swear to god if you keep stealing our kitchen utensils, i will move out.
catori: that's a whisk i'm willing to take.
dentist: open wide.
kas: :)
dentist: i meant our mouth, not your arms.
kas: :(
jo: i think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.
catori: all i drank was Red Bull.
jo: how many?
catori: 70.
jo: [wears a slightly brighter shade of black]
caroline: i see you're breaking out the spring colors.
jo: [opens his mouth to speak]
nicky, immediately: i don't know what you're going to say, but i think you're wrong.
slightly more catori-centric but
Foxglove: Live fast, die young, and leave behind a pretty corpse. That's what I always say!
Adeline: You should say something else.
Adeline: Walks into the kitchen
Foxglove: wearing mismatching gloves and goggles, welding a sandwich together
Adeline: Okay, why don't we skip the "what" and go straight to "why?"
Bellamy: You ever notice how almost all laws use “he” or “she” in their clauses?
Bellamy: …Which means that I, a person who uses they/them, am above the law, and thus can not be arrested.
Officer:
Officer: …Just get in the car.
Thorn: Bellamy, are you sure that you’re managing to raise Fortune all on your own?
Bellamy: Yeah, the kid doesn’t cause any trouble
Young Fortune: Lya, I tried to make Eggos in the microwave and I broke everything.
Bellamy: See? Everything’s going fine.
Bellamy: Go tell Edelweiss she’s cute. What’s the worst that can happen?
Amory: She can hear me?
Kidnapper: We have your son, we took him from your house.
Bellamy: Aster's right here?
Kidnapper: Then who's this kid running around and waving a knife at everybody?
Bellamy: Oh! You have my other son!
Bellamy: Good luck.
Amory: Hello Inspector Edelweiss, Bellamy.
Edelweiss:
Bellamy:
Amory: You may be wondering why I'm taped to the ceiling.
Thorn: Aster and Fortune are looking for trolls in the basement, aren't you gonna do something?
Bellamy: Of course, what kind of irresponsible parent do you think I am?
[ten minutes later]
Bellamy: Shh! We'll never catch them if we aren't quiet, trolls have incredible hearing.
Mihawk: Shanks, are you sure that you’re managing to raise Azami all on your own?
Shanks: Yeah, the kid doesn’t cause any trouble.
Young Azami: Shanks, I tried to make Eggos in the microwave and I broke everything.
Shanks: See? Everything’s going fine.
Haeil: Here is my wall of inspiration idols.
Kimin: Is that a picture of you?
Haeil: I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
Chansung: What do you look for in a partner?
Sebastian: A pulse, usually.
Matthew: I wasn't that drunk yesterday.
Jack: You got pulled over and the cop asked for your name then you pointed at your face and said,"Google it, bitch."
Maeng: Can you pass the salt?
Seokju: Can you pass your classes?
Maeng:
Seokju: Too much salt.
Adrian: Oh you like your credit card? Name every number on it!
Quill, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up.
Quill: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.
Cyrus: Go tell Sam he's cute. What’s the worst that can happen?
Anthony: He can hear me?
Anthony: Quill and Dally are looking for trolls in the basement. Aren't you gonna do something?
Cyrus: Of course, what kind of irresponsible guardian do you think I am?
[Ten minutes later]
Cyrus: Shh! We'll never catch them if we aren't quiet, trolls have incredible hearing.
Calla: What do you look for in a partner?
Oleander: A pulse.
Oleander: Usually.
Nich: I wasn't that drunk yesterday.
Nell: You got pulled over and the cop asked for your name, then you pointed at your face and said, "Google it, bitch."
Bee: Can you pass the salt?
Kate: Can you pass your classes?
Bee:
Nich: Oh, you like your credit card? Name every number on it!
Percy, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up.
Percy: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.
Douglas: Go tell Nathan that you think he's cute. What’s the worst that can happen?
Oscar: He can hear me.
Marian: Lucia and Walton are looking for trolls in the basement. Aren't you gonna do something?
Oscar: Of course, what kind of irresponsible uncle do you think I am?
Ten minutes later
Oscar: Shh! We'll never catch them if we aren't quiet, trolls have incredible hearing.
(( nich is a mood and also i think someone needs to like. slam oleander's face into a brick wall once or twice))
(I agree on both statements.)
Cyrus: Oh, you like your credit card? Name every number on it!
Tyl: What do you look for in a partner?
Azazel: A pulse.
Azazel: Usually.
Allison: I'm eating sugar shut up! (got that from my brother-in-law today)
(Oh, to clarify: Nathan isn't a typo, Douglas just thinks that Nathaniel's name is Nathan. Partly because that's what Nathaniel first introduces himself as, and partly because Douglas just. does not care.)
Selena: My turn to bitch about assholes. Have you seen the guy I’m supposed to marry? Total douche
Harper: Please, you’ve talked about him before. You like him
Selena, hissing: Lies
Selena: You're an ass
Harper: Actually, I'm Mexican. But nice try
~One Minute Later~
Selena: Ass
Harper: Mexican Crow
Harper: Literally checks Selena out
Harper: She’s attractive, I suppose
Harper: Selena Hines, gorgeous and perfect in every way, snores like a fucking lawn mower
Selena: Oh shut up, I’m the sexiest woman you’ve ever met
Literally pulled from my manuscript. This is canon. They are dumbasses
Titania: My turn to bitch about assholes. Have you seen the guy I’m supposed to marry? Total douche
Aspen: Please, you’ve talked about him before. You like him
Titania, hissing: Lies.
Beatrice: Literally checks Marian out
Beatrice: She’s attractive, I suppose
((background on the 'she's attractive, i suppose' one: harper is very gay. he just doesn't know it))
(Beatrice is very gay, but does not want to fall in love with Marian.)
(She, uh, fails at that mission.)
Oscar: Here is my wall of inspiration idols.
Anne: Is that a picture of you?
Oscar: I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
He does have a portrait of himself but it's out of spite since the painting is meant to be a mockery of him but he ordered it to be hung in his room anyways to piss off the artist.
Ara: What's was the best thing about your ex?
Holly: His money.
Jackie: His looks.
Andor: His d–
Ara: Most appropriate thing!
Andor: Fine, his personality, I guess.
Jackie: Not wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I'm a whore.
Andor: Only wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know i’m a whore.
Ara: Kicking both of you out of the lab because someone's gotta uphold lab safety rules.
Milo: Here is my wall of inspiration idols.
Keyla: Is that a picture of you?
Milo: I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
Holly: Oh, you like your credit card? Name every number on it!
Kit, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up.
Kit: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.
Dallas: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.
Andor: all i drank was Red Bull.
Dallas: how many?
Andor: 70.
Holly: [wears a slightly brighter shade of black]
Jackie: i see you're breaking out the spring colors.
Andor: [opens his mouth to speak]
Ara, immediately: i don't know what you're going to say, but i think you're wrong.
Gerard: tonight i'm going to bed early!
Gerard: is that the sun?
Austin: Tonight I'm going to bed early!
Austin: Is that the sun?
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Jarrod: I swear to God if you keep stealing our kitchen utensils, I will move out.
Felix: That's a whisk I'm willing to take.
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Dentist: Open wide.
Felix: :)
Dentist: I meant our mouth, not your arms.
Felix: ;(
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Mel: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.
Austin: All I drank was Red Bull.
Mel: How many?
Austin: 70.
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Austin: [wears a slightly brighter shade of black]
Mel: I see you're breaking out the spring colors.
Austin: >:|
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Felix: [opens his mouth to speak]
Jarrod, immediately: I don't know what you're going to say, but I think you're wrong.
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Felix: Live fast, die young, and leave behind a pretty corpse. That's what I always say!
Jarrod: You should say something else.
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Jarrod: Walks into the kitchen
Austin: wearing mismatching gloves and goggles, welding a sandwich together
Jarrod: Okay, why don't we skip the "what" and go straight to "why?"
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Felix: You ever notice how almost all laws use “he” or “she” in their clauses?
Felix: …Which means that I, a person who uses they/them, am above the law, and thus can not be arrested.
Officer:
Officer: …Just get in the car.
Felix: Dang, thought that would work.
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Mel: Bellamy, are you sure that you’re managing to raise Fortune all on your own?
Austin: Yeah, the kid doesn’t cause any trouble
Em: Austin, I tried to make Eggos in the microwave and I broke everything.
Austin: See? Everything’s going fine.
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Austin: Go tell her she’s cute. What’s the worst that can happen?
Mel: She can hear me?
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Kidnapper: We have your son, we took him from your house.
Jarrod: Austin's right here?
Kidnapper: Then who's this kid running around and waving a gun at everybody?
Jarrod: Oh! You have my other son!
Jarrod: Good luck.
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Felix: Hello Jarrod, Missy.
Jarrod:
Missy:
Felix: You may be wondering why I'm taped to the ceiling.
Geneva: Not wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I'm a whore.
Jackson: Only wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I’m a whore.
Victor: Kicking both of you out of the lab because someone's got to uphold lab safety rules.
Jackson: Opens his mouth to speak
Geneva, immediately: I don't know what you're going to say, but I think you're wrong.
Victor: Tonight I'm going to bed early!
Victor: Is that the sun?
