He gave a sharp nod, closing his eyes. "Anything to avoid civil war." He said softly. "That's the last thing you want." He shook his head quickly, trying to dispel the memories.
(I'm exhausted, so I'm heading to bed. May not be on until later tomorrow/today/idek anymore XD)
(Lol I went to bed too-)
She silently agreed with him. Aydan did say that we could have an affair… She shook her head. But that's not exactly my thing. "Jair, I'm sorry. I should've waited some more.." She walked up to him, using whatever was nearby for support. She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Are you ok?"
(lol)
"It's okay. You thought I was dead, so you made the best choice available to you." He said softly. He stiffened slightly at the contact. "I-I'm fine." He lied. She has enough problems…I don't need to burden her with mine.
She noticed his reaction to her hand, and pulled it away. She sat down on his bed next to him, internally grateful to be resting. "What happened to you? You seem so different." She sounded genuinely concerned for him.
He shook his head. "It's not important." He said softly, not looking at her. I shouldn't have come back. Everything's changed. I…she would have been better off remembering me as who i was. Not…this.
"It is to me…" She muttered.
No it doesn't. You care because you think I'm still the same. You think I can come back and be the same guard, the same man, I always was. But I…I can't. Too much has changed. Too much… "Well, it isn't." He replied.
Kana let out a dejected sigh. "If you're not comfortable sharing, that's fine." She stood up slowly, so she wouldn't collapse from a sudden movement, and started to walk out his door. "But I can tell something happened." She turned to face him, leaning against the door frame and gave him a weak smile. "People just don't lose fingers for no reason." A lame attempt at humor.
He flinched slightly, closing his eyes for a moment. "That's the way the world is supposed to go, isn't it?" He said in a darkly sarcastic tone, something he never would have done before he left. If and when he was sarcastic, it had always been a gentle sarcasm. Not rough, or dark.
The corner of Kana's mouth twitched into a frown for half of a second. It was clear now, if it wasn't before, that Jair had changed a lot. How do I reply? She started to feel panicky, and along with panic came lightheadedness. Kana let out a soft "hn," and turned out of his bedroom and started walking in a random direction. Kana was so used to not having a guard by her side, that she didn't expect to Jair to follow. Whatever. Some rest will do him good.
Jair took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching his fists. It's okay. You're okay. You're okay. You don't have to fight anymore, you aren't in danger anymore. Calm down. He told himself, keeping his eyes closed.
Kana's steps suddenly faltered. She fell to the ground, trying to make sure that there wasn't any noise when she did. She used the wall to literally claw her way back up to an upright position, before continuing to walk again. Maybe I should tell Aydan. He should be close by, anyways.
Aydan was out in the gardens, reading. In all honesty, he probably would be a pretty good king, even if he could sometimes be a bit of a stubborn ass.
Jair lay backwards on the bed, staring at the familiar ceiling. Nothing feels the same anymore…am I ever going to be okay again?
Kana walked outside and spotted Aydan. She sat down next to him, sighing with relief when she did. "Aydan?" she peeked over at his book. I wonder how he'll react. It's not everyday your fiancee's crush who was assumed dead comes back from a civil war.
Aydan jumped slightly, closing the book and looking at her. "Hey, Kana. What's up?" He asked, looking at her. They both knew that they didn't romantically care for the other, and Aydan wasn't the type to call her sweet nicknames just for show.
Jair bit his lower lip slightly, raking his hands through his hair.
"Jair is back." She replied, being very up front about the situation. I have nothing to hide when it comes to Jair. Kana had told Aydan everything about what really happened between Jair and her. It was not a secret that they had feelings for each other.
"And I've made him my guard again." She remembered how selfish and toxic she was just a few minutes ago, by making sure Jair couldn't leave this situation. She took in a deep breath, waiting to see how Aydan would react.
Aydan raised his eyebrows, thinking for a long moment. "…okay." he finally replied. "What I had originally said still stands. I don't mind if you decide to have an affair with him. Just…no bastard kids. That's all I ask. We don't need kids that may or may not have a claim on the throne." He said, looking at her. Then he frowned slightly. "I thought he was dead?"
She sighed and looked down at the ground. "I did too… But he just showed up out of the blue." She thought for a moment. "He seems different. And not in a good way."
Aydan frowned slightly. "He didn't…hurt you, did he?" He asked quickly, eyes flickering over Kana to check for wounds.
She shook her head. "He would never do that." Kana sighed. "He just seems detached. It's like he's a different person." She paused before looking up at Aydan, giving him a small smile. "Sorry, you probably don't want to hear about it."
Aydan shook his head. "It's fine." He sighed softly. "Kana, he did just go through a civil war. That leaves an effect on anyone. Give him time." He shrugged slightly.
"You're right. Thank you, Aydan." Kana bit her lip. I don't want to move. But I should. Usually I'd have left by now.
Aydan nodded. "You're welcome." He peeked down at his book. "Is that all? Can i go back to my book?" He asked.
"Yes," She got up, hiding the fact that she was shaking. "Have fun." She said, and exited the garden. I should check on Jair.
Aydan nodded, giving her a small smile as he went back to his book.
Jair had peeled his shirt off, and was sitting on his bed working on changing the bandages that nearly covered his torso.