forum RP? One on One

Started July 19, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

"Liar." He replied. "Why shouldn't I worry? And why should I stay if you aren't going to be honest with me?" Calm down. You aren't a prisoner. You aren't trapped. You're okay. You're okay, it's okay.

She flinched at the word liar and inhaled sharply. He's right. "If I'm being completely honest… my vision has gone a tad blurry and I can't get up." Kana laughed awkwardly. "It's fine though!" Yeah, totally fine. Totally. Nothing wrong over here at all.

"And why is your vision blurry?" He asked. Is there blood in your eyes and lungs? Have you screamed enough that your voice gave out? Are you choking on your own blood? He took a deep breath, blinking rapidly to try and dispel the memories. Stop it. You're okay now.

Oh, it's because I haven't eaten a single thing for 6 days straight now. She shrugged. "Maybe I'm going blind." Ha, wouldn't that be nice? I wouldn't have to see my body whenever I came across a reflection.

(its interesting right now, contrasting what the two are saying vs what's not being said. They're both pretending to be okay)

"I doubt that." He replied. "But fine. Don't tell me." He stood. Why am I trying? Why am i… He shook his head slightly. She has no idea what happened. You're okay. That had become his mantra. You're okay. As if if he told it to himself enough, eventually he would believe it.

(Exactly lol. It's great-)

You kinda almost guessed it earlier. Well, sort of. "Sorry…" Kana mumbled, looking down at her feet. Should I tell him? …No, he has enough on his plate. And I've already added enough. Her stomach growled surprisingly not that loudly. That… hurts. Everything hurts. She winced in pain, letting out a small whimper.

(yeah)

Jair went over to her, frowning. "Kana, please tell me what's wrong." He said softly, looking down at her worriedly. Please. Please I-I don't want another person I care for hurt.

Do I tell him? Not even Aydan knows. No one knows. If I tell him, it's over. She looked up at him, her face in pain. Would that really be so bad? She gritted her teeth. "I-" She let out a shaky breath. "I've been starving myself." Kana whispered so quietly, she could just barely hear herself. There. I said it. I said it. Panic started to set in. This was a bad idea. Her thoughts whirled around her head at a deafening pace.

He frowned again. "Why?" He asked softly. He had tried to. When he was captured. Had figured dying would be the best way to go. They had force fed him. So. It hadn't exactly worked. But you aren't there anymore. You are okay. He told himself, taking a deep breath.

"I…" Hate myself. I couldn't stop you from going. I could've just forced you to stay. Then none of this would have happened if I had just tried harder. "It's just so complicated." It's not really. The numbness and grieving, my hatred towards myself, and the way I look are the reasons. It's quite simple really. "I can't explain it… at least not now." Her mind and her vision were spinning, and she just felt dizzier with every second.

Jair shook his head. "Come on. You're going to eat." He said softly. Because I need you to." He held out his hand to help her up.

Food. What's the point of eating it? Aren't there starving kids in the world? Let my food go to them. Kana took his hand, visibly shaking. Using what little energy she had left, she pulled herself up. She had to place her other hand on his arm to stabilize herself, but she was standing. Food is delicious. But the thought of actually eating it disgusts me.

Jair led her to the kitchens, silent. Damn it. Nothing is safe. I thought I could come back and she would be okay. She wouldn't have changed. But… He bit his lower lip hard enough to draw blood, but didn't react.

Kana noticed him biting his lip. "Jair, don't do that." She tried to keep up with his pace. She was so used to walking slowly as possible to conserve her energy.

He ignored her. I thought I could protect her. I thought… so many things.

"Jair?" She spoke again, quieter this time. I can't keep up. She tried not to fall down as they walked down the hallway.

He stopped, looking down at her. "Yeah?" He asked.

"Don't bite your lip like that." She commanded him. Kana was a bit out of breath from trying to keep up with him. And slow down a bit.

He shrugged. Why not? At least I know I still feel things. At least I have some control over who hurts me. He started walking again.

Kana sighed and tried to catch up with him again, but tripped over her own feet. She fell to the floor with a sickening thud and let out a cry of pain.

Jair froze, and turned back to her, crouching. "Are you okay? I-I'm so so sorry, Kana. I'm sorry." He blurted, reaching out to help her up.

She grabbed him and tried to get up. "It- It's fine. I just tripped.."

He nodded. "Okay." He said softly. "I'm sorry." He said again.

She stood up. "Don't apologize."

He stood. "Okay." He said softly. "I…" I'm sorry. I can't do this.