forum RP? One on One

Started July 19, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

"No. Why in the hell are you so bent on starving yourself? Is your life that terrible that you want to die?" He asked, looking at her.

Kana looked down to the ground to avoid his gaze. "Erm, not exactly." Especially now that you're here. Life just got a bit better. I just…" she trailed off and looked back up at him. "A lot of reasons were piling upon each other, so I just stopped." She explained, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I really don't talk about this stuff… Then again, no one's noticed before.

"You just stopped." He repeated in a dead voice. He shook his head. "God, Kana." He didn't look at her. "And what were these "reasons"?" He asked, looking at her.

Is he mad? She inhaled sharply. He's probably mad. Jesus, Kana, look at what you did! "I, um…" She shook her head, trying to shake off her own negative thoughts that were attacking her. "It doesn't matter." She whispered quietly, looking back down at the floor.

Jair shook his head. "Yeah. Of course it doesn't." He said, standing. He didn't look at her. "I'm going to my room. And this time, try knocking instead of spying on me. If you don't want me to know what's wrong with you, then I see no reason why you should know what's going on with me."

Kana winced at his words. "Jair…" She tried to make eye contact with him.

He didn't look at her, and kept walking. "Don't." he said softly. "I-I'm sorry." he shook his head slightly. I can't do this…I thought…I…

She paused for a moment and sighed. "No… I'm sorry." I'm the worst. He's just looking out for me, and I'm over here being a jerk. "I'm just being stubborn… And you're just trying to help-" God, someone's actually helping me. She bit her lip, holding back tears. Don't cry now! What are you doing, Kana?!

Jair stopped, and sighed. I can't stay mad at her…no matter what I do, no matter how I feel, I can't be mad… He looked at her, and could see her eyes shining with tears. "Kana, please don't cry." he said softly. "I just…I don't understand why you're doing this. I really don't."

I can't… "I hate myself!" She suddenly blurted, almost screaming it. "I hate myself for letting you go!" Her tears slipped, what with her efforts to keep her emotions contained thrown out of the window. "I hate how I look! I hate how toxic and sickening I've become!" She began sinking to the floor. "I hate myself so much, that I hate the very thought of existing." She started sobbing loudly, but she felt so relieved. So relieved to finally tell someone. So relieved to not bottle up her emotions.

Jair bit his lip, and knelt beside her, cupping her chin in his hands and wiping away the tears. "Kana, I…" He shook his head. "I chose to go." And God, I regret it. Look at what it's done to the both of us. "It isn't your fault. I promise. It is not your fault. And as for how you look…you are beautiful, Kana. You always have been."

She shook her head in disbelief, still letting her tears fall. "No. You're wrong." She closed her eyes and chewed the inside of her lip. "You're wrong about everything."

Jair shook his head. "No, I'm really not." He said softly. "Nothing that happened to me is your fault. And you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. You always have been."

She shook her head harder, making her disoriented. "I don't believe you." She looked up at him, wondering why he cared. Aren't you in pain? Why aren't you concerned about yourself? "I'm sorry, but there's just no way I can believe you."

"Why?" He asked softly, looking at her. His left side was beginning to hurt, but he ignored it, keeping his focus on her.

She shook her head and tried to get up. "It's just hard to believe." Besides, you're just saying to it to make me feel better. Because you're a decent person. You would try and make anyone feel better about themselves.

He sighed softly. "Kana, I…every time I…wanted to give up and just…die, I kept thinking about you. About…" He shook his head, speaking slowly, as if it were difficult for him to even talk about what happened.

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh… Jair, I didn't know," She seemed genuinely surprised, and also concerned. Did I accidentally touch a nerve? Shit… Of course I did.

"You didn't know because I didn't tell you until now." He said dryly. He sighed softly. "You saw… what happened. The wounds. I got through that by thinking of two things: you, and my mom." He told her quietly.

She smiled softly. "Glad I helped somehow…"

He nodded slightly, closing his eyes. "My point is…just…" He shook his head. "Please eat. Please stop starving yourself. I can't…I can't lose you now. Please." His voice went very quiet.

She hesitated, but slowly nodded. "I'll try. For you."

Jair nodded. "Thank you." He said softly.

(has a (bad) idea but it's too late)

Kana smiled sweetly at him. "Of course."

(tell it anyway, we might still be able to use it)

He ran a hand through his hair, chewing on his lip.