Jude let out a breathy chuckle, giving his hand a faint squeeze, "You don't mean that," He smiled softly. Why would he settle for something– someone who would just end up as a pained memory? For Jude, this wasn't settling, this was a second chance. Unfair, so unfair, risky– too, but he could help his feelings towards him.
(I gtg)
Nyx shrugged a little bit. "I don't know enough about anything to…I know that you'll at least be patient with me, but I don't know…" he looked away, eyes flickering to the floor. He shrugged again. "But if you don't want…we don't have to."
You have no idea how much I want this, Jude thought, painfully looking at Nyx like he could hear him through his expression. "I want this." He confessed, though it felt more like a reminder, but if that's what it took for them to be together– "And I think…I want this enough to go against my better judgement." Jude said, his heart opening the floodgates of adrenaline and delivering mixed signals towards his facade of neutrality, Yes, I'm saying yes. This is, a good thing.
Nyx looked up at Jude, blinking, startled. "You…you do?" he asked softly, biting his lip uncertainly. "So we can…stop the…tiptoeing?"
“Yeah.” Jude said with a nod, a hopeful smile making its way into his face. In this moment his whole world became brighter, louder— even in the silence of his lonely apartment, like the comfort of a cigarette high that lightened the weight off his shoulders. He bit his lip in a quiet excitement, “Yeah, we can stop the tiptoeing.”
(just a heads up— i’m not gonna be super active this weekend; i’m visiting some family :)
Nyx smiled back, looking up at Jude with that innocent, happy smile. "Good." He replied. He leaned forward, pressing his mouth hesitantly to Jude's, closing his eyes.
(It's fine! Have fun!)
Jude almost collapsed into the kiss, his shoulders softening in relief, like he’d been underwater and this was his first breath of air. His hands found their way to the nape of his neck, pushing him closer and kissing him back with a quiet hunger.
Nyx kept his eyes shut, holding onto Jude. He wound his arms around Jude, holding the other male as close as possible. He wanted this. He really, really did. Even though he knew that it wouldn't end happily, that he wouldn't have anything like a happily ever after, he still wanted this.
Jude leaned back, his back meeting the cushioned armrest and taking Nyx with him as he slid back, his pulse thrumming in his ears, a blinking code telling him finally. Finally, they were together. His skin shivered at Nyx’s arms pressed around him, knowing well that he could crush him at any moment, but he wasn’t, because Jude was someone to him.
Nyx was essentially in Jude's lap now, not that he minded all that much. He smiled into the kiss, running a hand through Jude's hair, down his back, amazed at all these feelings that could be wrapped up in one simple act. Or not so simple.
Jude kissed him with a buzzing happiness, the same feeling he had when Nyx kissed him on the
field that day, a mixture of hope, craving, hesitancy, and adrenaline crowding his thoughts and translating through their bodies pressed together like this. If this was a dream, it would be a very, very cruel one to wake up from.
Nyx's eyelashes brushed against Jude's face as they kissed, parting his mouth and deepening the kiss. He wanted this more. More and more and more of it.
Jude ran his hands through Nyx’s hair, wanting to tell him so many things and letting his tongue do the talking. Every touch and shift were like little shocks of static, making Jude shiver at the thought of the lack of distance between them.
Nyx shivered a little at the touches, body pressing against Jude's as their tongues slid together, leaving almost no distance between them. Now he really was in Jude's lap, straddling the other male's legs.
Jude took a quick breath, presently aware of Nyx's weight over his hips and that he wouldn't stay soft for long. Fuck. He ran a hand over Nyx's thigh, moving up his side and to his shoulders, pushing him away for a moment and swallowing, "Hold on a minute, I'm getting dizzy."
Nyx opened his eyes a little bit, studying Jude with a racing pulse and quick breaths. He nodded slightly. "Okay." He said softly, settling back a little bit to give Jude some space.
Jude shook his head softly and rubbed his eyes, looking at the room through eyes that felt like they'd been staring at lights for too long. He let out an unexpected laugh, biting his lip in an attempt to hide his grin. "This feels like a dream, oh–" Jude chuckled in disbelief, running his hands down Nyx's sides.
Nyx wasn't able to hide the way he leaned into Jude's touches. He smiled a little. "I don't dream, so I'll have to talk your word for it." He replied softly. He smiled at Jude.
"Well, it feels a little something like right now." Jude smiled, amused at his own thoughts that were slurred and incoherent. "Just… pretty." He said softly, meeting eyes with Nyx and at a loss for words in the way he felt at this moment. "Like that day on the field– that was dreamlike."
Nyx swallowed, and nodded a little bit, still smiling. "Oh." he replied softly, running a hand through his hair as he looked at Jude. He was still essentially in Jude's lap, though now he was settled further back, closer to Jude's knees than his waist.
Jude shifted forward, slowly sitting up with a smirk, God, he's cute. He smiled lazily, eyes flickering over Nyx's face as he moved a hand to the side of his jaw. Jude took a breath, "Everything about you makes me smile."
Nyx smiled again, but was unsure how to return the compliment. He leaned forward to kiss Jude's cheek instead, looking at Jude carefully. His blue eyes were shining.
Jude smiled shyly at Nyx's affection, sighing happily and hearing the faintest push against his door. Macy.
"What do you wanna do now?" Jude asked, slowly threading his hands through Nyx's dark locks.
Nyx shrugged a little bit, leaning into Jude's hands a little. "I don't know." he replied contentedly, eyes slipping shut as he relaxed into Jude's hands. His left hand was on Jude's shoulder, his right on Jude's bicep.
"We could…watch a movie?" Jude suggested, moving his hands in slow patterns through his hair. "Or listen to some music, or…read some books? I've got these big ass picture encyclopedias lying around somewhere." He smiled, loving the way Nyx melted into his touch, "Whatever you wanna do."