forum Quotes from the List of Completely Weird and Random Things We’ve Overheard… (About 15 quotes will be posted daily, and feel completely free to add your own!)
Started by @IamNOTachickenok
tune

people_alt 136 followers

@IcarusFightsTheSun book

(my dm is really into dnd realism, so my kenku character gets a lot of attention since they aren't common in the area. i was trying to smooth over a problem someone had with my party since im pretty charismatic, but mid sentence i realised im still literally just a giant bird, and this has nothing to do with me.)

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "Carnival Pokémon plushie of dubious quality and origin, my favorite."

  • "He's my little asparagus, leave him be."

  • "I'm gonna… do something. And you won't like it."

  • "Any particular reason why you smell like dog food?"

  • "What is this? Why did you draw Big Bird on drugs?"
    "It's a dragon, shut up."

  • "Who even invented wisdom teeth?"

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "Remember yesterday when I filled up my pool with Orbeez? …Well, now I have a pool full of Orbeez."

  • "Hah. The consequences of my own actions are catching up to me at a breakneck pace."

  • "I love stealing from villagers in Minecraft and in real life."

  • "There are TWO characters with the SAME EXACT NAME, AND they're from COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TIME PERIODS."
    "Yikes."
    "AND ONE WAS EVIL!"

  • "Why does every house I build look like a Chili's?"

  • "How am I supposed to punch fish if the river is frozen over?"

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "These plates are so clean you can almost eat off them."

  • "Get that moustache off my moustache!"

  • "These essays are horrible! Looks like my evil scheme to underpay teachers came back to bite me."

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "Spling! Spinkle! Spongebob! Asparagus! Pepsi!"
    "What."
    "I'm trying out different names for the cat. He just looked at me - I think he likes Pepsi."

@im-with-stoopid pets

  • "I'll move this car limb by limb if I have to."

  • "Be careful… there's break-dancing ghosts afoot."

  • "I'm sure you won't mind if I break down the door."

  • "Apparently, her hair was a vital organ."

  • "My teeth are revolting."
    "They aren't that bad."
    "I mean they're HAVING A REVOLUTION."

  • "She called me a b word. She actually said, 'b word.' Rhymes with 'femur.' "
    "Bitch."

@Morals-are-for-mortals language

"when i become rich and make 10 figures every year im going to give you a……fish"
"only a fish?"
well yeah bUT WHEN YOU TAP ITS NOSE 3 TIMES IT TURNS INTO A MANSION. I CALL IT THE fiAnSiOn"

Is it fish themed inside

@Elise_Is_Feeling_Very_Homosexual_Rn

"when i become rich and make 10 figures every year im going to give you a……fish"
"only a fish?"
well yeah bUT WHEN YOU TAP ITS NOSE 3 TIMES IT TURNS INTO A MANSION. I CALL IT THE fiAnSiOn"

Is it fish themed inside

"all the door handles are metal fish, you need to bring your own furniture. however u must eat fish soup at exaclty 4:15am every friday or it implodes" - soup queen

@Morals-are-for-mortals language

"when i become rich and make 10 figures every year im going to give you a……fish"
"only a fish?"
well yeah bUT WHEN YOU TAP ITS NOSE 3 TIMES IT TURNS INTO A MANSION. I CALL IT THE fiAnSiOn"

Is it fish themed inside

"all the door handles are metal fish, you need to bring your own furniture. however u must eat fish soup at exaclty 4:15am every friday or it implodes" - soup queen

Hmmm

Steals the fish handles and runs

@im-with-stoopid pets

Here's a collection of typos, wrong words, and other writing mishaps I've had over the past whenever.

  • "I guess humanity doesn't run in the family, huh?"

  • "Why would I when I can?"

  • "He laughs like a shark. I've never meet someone who laughs with their teeth."

  • "Look at all this grass!"

  • "How many guards are there?"
    "No telling. Last time Cirk and I tried counting, we got to 8i-0 before we gave up"

  • "There's three towers - Vigilance, the thin and tall one; Abundance, the short and fat one; and Harmony, the one that looks like a slashed guitar."

  • "We went ice-fishing in the jungle the other day."

  • "Amachure."

Long story short, ideaing at night is well and good, but maybe don't write at midnight unless you feel like making sense of your own mush brain.