forum Your personal venting space.

Started January 17, 2019 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

<3<3<3
I love you guys so much, you have no idea~

Ella! Are you feeling better yet? You know we all love you!

Hey y'all so apparently my dad told my brother that there isn't really love between him and my mother anymore, if he could go back he wouldn't have married my mother, and the kids are pretty much the main (or only?) thing keeping them together, so that's fanfuckingtastic

And you know, I'm kinda scared they'll split up after I leave for college in a couple years which makes me a bit scared to leave, but I also don't want to live with them. Like, my mom is very emotional and volatile, and if they split up earlier (if they even do), I would probably have to go between houses or whatever because I would be scared to tell my mom I don't really want to live with her, but I also don't want to live with my dad, so??

Wow. So, um the only thing I can really offer is someone to talk to, (not someone to talk about it with) since I am the world's most terrible advice giver.

I can also 9ffer that and, having been through similar things with mine, can maybe help you through certain scenarios.

Yeah idk. There's no guarantee they'll split up at all, and I feel like my parents don't treat my brother as well as they should. Like, I still feel like shit and I hate myself so much despite them pretty much telling me explicitly that I was their favorite. But I feel like I would be their favorite for what they think I am as opposed to who I actually am and I'm really conflicted because I think they'd be really disappointed in and hate the real me. So, I don't want to tell them obviously, but I kinda feel like I'm living a lie?

_{hmm that's tough, but, i'm still listening tho}

_{fortnite dances quietly in the corner to ignore my problems oof}

_{oof that sucks}

You never know Caustic. No matter what, stick up for your siblings and do what you think is right

Yeah I'm not sure what's right anymore? Like, I hate my sister because she's a bitch in like, every way, and my brother is borderline abusive but I still like him a hell of a lot more than my brother. He's a good guy, really, he just didn't realise that he's… _{You know… actually hurting me…}

Hmm have you tried talking to your brother?

Yeah I've kinda talked to him, my parents have talked to him, but I think he thinks he's just messing around? But the thing is, he's a seventeen year old guy who's 6'2 and pretty stronge you know? And like, I'm a scrawny fifteen year old girl who's 5'2 and who he could throw across a room with ease??

Ah well then I guess my second thought is does your brother have like anger issues or something? If not, I'm afraid all I have left is I'm here if you wanna just rant or something

No he only really hurts me when he's in a good mood, if that makes sense? Like, he can get kinda hyperactive and honestly stupid sometimes when he's in a good mood, and he thinks he's just joking. Like, I really don't think there's any malicious intent, but if I were to ever try to hit back, he'd just hit me back harder?? I honestly don't really know what to do at this point because I have a counselor who I should definitely talk to about this, but he sees my brother as well and I don't really want to talk badly about him because he might be mad???

Well, aren't counseling sessions supposed to be kept private between you and the counselor tho?

Yeah, but I feel like that would probably be something my counselor would want to work with him on, you know? Low-key abusing your sister for shits and giggles isn't really good oof

ah. but you do want him to stop tho right? i mean my morality is saying that it would be the right thing to do…

It's better than letting it continue this way and possibly progressing and getting worse. Who knows.

^^^^^^^^

I mean, yeah, but the thing is… my relationship with my brother is extremely complicated. I'd say he and I are very close
We have deep conversations, we complain about our other family members to each other, we talk about our personal lives, and I'd say I love him, I guess. But, I'm also terrified of him…

If he's not hurting you out of anger then what reason does he have to be mad at you. Let him know. Let your relationship progress. Don't let your fear rule you, Caustic

Then tell someone! You can be close and still have some issues, and letting them linger isn’t going to solve that. He probably isn’t even aware that he’s hurting you.

I'll try and talk to him at some point if I can, but I'm really scared of confrontation in general… usually I just sort of get mad in my head, but I don't start an actual conflict and then I just work through my anger myself and I'm typically okay after sleeping on it