forum The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :) Part 2!
Started by @Moxie group
tune

people_alt 175 followers

@Max_Miracle_DroppedMostOfTheirRPs

sorry dude I was replying to something else because I didn't see your message so let me give you some actual advice

It's hard when your family are the ones making everything shitty, my best recommendation is trying to find a safe space, if you can find one in the house that's great, but if not try and find somewhere nearby where you can go when you need to be alone to help clear your head. Somewhere like a park or something. With unwanted drama, just do the best that you can to stay out of it if at all possible. It really depends on the drama for that one.

Deleted user

I have been trying to be drama free, I've lost about 5 more friends due to me leaving drama. Because i wasnt having it. Also Only place I can go to be "alone" is at school. but that's rare. But thank you again Max! You are also good, i get you are busy *w *.

@Becfromthedead group

Yeah, with the unwanted drama and whatnot, it's your call whether you want to fight back (I don't mean yell and be aggressive, I mean tell them how you feel, correct them gently when they're in the wrong, etc) or let it happen, but stay as far removed from it as you can. My therapist kind of said this to me, and that it's essentially up to you. Whatever protects your mind the best and keeps you feeling better is the "right" decision.
If there's an argument that involves you, you have the power to stop it in the middle, say something along the lines of, "I don't think we're in a good headspace to discuss this right now if we're going to get angry," and remove yourself from the situation.
I'm having family problems as well. It's different for everyone, but what I've done in the past is let drama resolve itself and stay as uninvolved as possible. That said, most drama doesn't involve me. Otherwise, it's my folks saying offensive stuff. I keep my mouth shut because 1. it's hard to change their minds, 2. that might aggravate a situation, and 3. I might not be able to deal with the consequences of an argument, knowing that my mom in particular is very passive aggressive and good at playing victim.
Like Max said, having a safe space is very important. It doesn't have to be a physical location, but it's great if it is.
It's also important to have a good support system outside of your family. So friends. Real life friends if possible, but online friends are great too.
Friends provide a refuge and distraction from the bs that might be going on at home.

@requiemisback language

i wish i had snap (can't get it tho cuz i don't have a phone anymore) :') i have twitter but i don't use it much
i'm mostly active on here and commaful-
and for those who want my commaful @, my acc there is @salem_

@larcenistarsonist group

Aha vent time. For the sake of the story I'm going to label my friends J (male), A and L (both female)

So me and my friends are trying to make plans for the weekend because in L's words "hey guys im feeling depressed and i wanna do something spontaneous what are we doing this weekend". So, I start giving a long ass list of just random things we could do. Granted, only about half of them were doable but it was still somewhat-helpful. So we started making plans for Saturday and then J says that he can't make it because of a wrestling tournament. So, then we ask if we can move it to Friday, but J still has wrestling going on. So. Then I ask if Thursday will work, but then all three of my friends tell me they have OPTIONAL practices for sports that don't start up for another YEAR all week. So yeah, I get kind of irritated. I tell them that I'm open every day of every week except for this coming Sunday because I have family stuff.

And then L asks if we can do it Sunday after her church.

Right after I just said that I couldn't do it then.

So I'm progressively getting more and more irritated as this goes on. I tell them once more that I CANNOT make plans this Sunday and then they just decided to cancel after I got excited to FINALLY spend time with them.

And I am just so pissed because I AM ALWAYS rearranging MY LIFE AND SHIT so the plans work for them, and not me. I've NEVER complained, I've ALWAYS been supportive of them, I've ALWAYS SUCKED IT UP WHILE THEY DO WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT.

And that's not the worst of it.

I fucking pulled the "shit mental health" card.

What kind of person does that?

They were just laughing at the fact that they were always so busy and shit and J says "that's what happens when you do sports XD XD"

And then I said "I know, J, that's why I don't do them. I don't do them because I like to have time to spend with people who mean something to me."

Then they were quiet for a few minutes.

And I said "Y'know it's just PEACHY when your friends would rather go to OPTIONAL practices then spend time with a person with shit mental health such as myself"

And I-

I don't know.

This is probably such a shit thing to be so mad about

@cryptic-glitch

no don't feel bad MJ
that's perfectly rational. i totally understand where you're coming from. rearranging your life constantly for people and them not reciprocating feels horrible.