forum The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :) Part 2!

Started September 25, 2020 by @Moxie group

tune

Yeah, I looked at that one while researching at some point. That's also fairly close to what I experience I think?

Gender’s weird dude, just figured I’d throw that one out there for you to see if it helps :)

Yeah lmao no kidding.
Me: I'm a cis woman
Also me: If you call me "ma'am" or "miss," I will kill you on the spot
Also me again: Dressing up as male characters is just a normal thing and does not make me feel any sort of way :')
Also me, once again: Uses my more compressing sports bra and a loose shirt to be like "look mom, no tiddies!"

Honestly, labels are weird. You don’t always need one to know yourself, but they can help.

Yeah
Like, I could have these really obscure, specific labels for myself, or just say
"I'm gay no matter who I date"

I literally have that struggle of am I really cis and attention seeking? And then have days like yesterday where I’m upset that people see me as female and I’m jealous of cis men and I’m just like “o h”

^^^
I feel that. I'm still kind of in that stage. I've told one person irl that I'm questioning, but they were supportive and said that no matter what I decide or discover about my identity, they'll support me so I have that going for me.
Idk, I just wonder if I'm hopping onto some sort of "trend"? A lot of my own friends are not cis. And I realize experience shapes gender expression as much as biology, but still, I can't help think I'm being attention-seeking. But ig it's not attention-seeking if I've only told one person?

My dad just commented on my tic cause I'd did it a lot in the past few minutes and I immediately felt scared because he doesn't know I do it and I didn't know how to explain it

I literally have that struggle of am I really cis and attention seeking?

if y'all are worried you're just doing it for attention, you're probably not. people who are faking it are aware they're faking it because it was a conscious decision to do so. so can things change and might it turn out that you're cis in the end? perhaps, but that doesn't invalidate who you are now and what you're feeling at the moment.

Okay but I'm in art rn and there's this really pretty girl that I may or may not like and it's dark and my art teacher has these warm christmas lights all around the room and shes sitting like less than a foot away from me and hahah initiate pansexual panic

Eeeeeee I ordered another binder since they’re on sale todayyyyy

Hey, I'm not really sure how to talk about this, but I'll just start with a bit of background. I grew up in a very religious and homophobic family so I never really wavered from saying I was a cis white female. When I got into high school though, I got into band and gained a lot of friends from this community and I became a very proud ally for them much to the dismay of my parents. For a few years now though, I've been wondering if I'm asexual? (just asexual, not aromantic) It's confusing, because I like people romantically but never really for looks or because I want to have sex with them. Like, just thinking about it disgusts me and I don't want to do that. I've never had it before, but that's kind of just how I feel. Then with stuff like kissing, I'm okay with kisses but not with making out (if that makes sense). I'm just trying to figure out if I'm just not experienced (I guess) enough to say that I don't like it or if I'm actually asexual. And then there's the problem of talking to my parents about it since they seem pretty hell bent on getting a bloodline grandchild from me. I don't have any friends who are ace, so I was wondering if you guys could help me understand a bit. If not, that's okay I'm just a little confused.

I identify as Asexual, possibly a little aromantic as I'm not into kissing either. Being asexual doesn't mean you have to like or dislike sex (though it's totally valid to be either epulsed or into it, or even just disinterested), its about attraction. For example, I've never had a celebrity crush and the idea people genuinley want to have sex with strangers cause they're 'hot' is very absurd to me. So for me at least, I'm not attracted to boys or girls or anything other or inbetween and that makes me ace.

If you feel like tha, then you might be ace too!

A lot of us can relate about the homophobic/religious household thing.
We have a whole master chat about ace/aro-spec identities here you can check out if it'd help to find some labels or ask questions!

Okay first things first, experience doesn't matter. I've never kicked a cactus barefoot before, but thinking about it feels Bad and I know that I don't want to do it. That's kind of a thing that's commonly used to invalidate asexuals, so don't do it to yourself. As far as what you actually are, your labels are yours to choose. If you feel like asexual fits you, then use it! If you feel like there's a better term out there, keep looking. Asexuality is a spectrum, and there are tons of different identities on said spectrum. I might be jumping to conclusions, but in my opinion(which you should take with a grain of salt because you know yourself much better than some random person on the internet) it sounds like you may be ace. If you feel like that term suits you best, then welcome to the squad! 💜

Girls are awesome.
That is all.

My brother said that there is only two genders, can I disown him?

Not sure, but you can at least cut down on your interactions with him. :D

Aha, I just got a five minute add going on about how teachers should be required to out students and affirm 'biological realities'
And I want to strangle these people so much
Fuck you 'Alliance Defending Freedom'

dskavn how about freedom of privacy?? You want a biological reality bitch??? How about we test the biological reality of how easily human fingers can break???

also Zane just like. Fuck with him in the small ways. Not too big bc you might get in trouble if you live with your parents but annoy the hell out of him

Refer to him with only them or neopronouns if he won't respect others' pronouns
That's what I do, when transphobes get uncomfy I laugh in their face and say it's the same feeling

Mm, I'm gonna try and educate him but does he ever shut up about his games and listen to me? No-

(also while I'm here, yes Elliot Page)

Elliot Page is a fucking king and his chosen pronouns are wonderful.

Yes Elliot Paaaaaaaaage

Mm, I'm gonna try and educate him but does he ever shut up about his games and listen to me? No-

(also while I'm here, yes Elliot Page)

Maybe if he's the Fax and Logik(tm) type start with
"Even if sex and gender were the same thing, there would be more than two genders, since it's been recognized by medicine that there are more than two sexes. Instead of a binary, sex is more accurately described as a 'bimodal distribution' or in other words, it's a spectrum with a heavy preference towards two ends" (basically make him aware of intersex people) then show him this graph from Scientific American:

If he protests, saying intersex people are such a small percent of the population, remind him that if there's even one outlier to a binary model, the whole system is broken. Then maybe tell him so much as 1 in 100 people have minor, unnoticeable intersex disorders (source).
Then you could continue with something like "sex and gender are separately defined by psychologist, physicians, and sociologists, with sex being the biological makeup of the body (including hormones, the reproductive system, and secondary sex characteristics) while gender is socially constructed by individual societies. There is no biological, sex-related reason men 'can't wear dresses'. That's just a gender role men are expected not to step into in America. But in old Scotland and most Arab countries kilts and dresses are considered manly. This shows how culture forms gender roles (and the concept of gender), and many cultures have recognized third gender, transgender, and two spirited people- it hasn't always been man and woman. It's never been just man and woman. There are a lot of theories why someone ends up identifying as a gender they weren't assigned as at birth or raised to be, but the overall consensus is that it's just who they are, just like your gender is a part of your identity, transgender or non binary identities are just as real, innate, and important. Not everyone fits into the binary system because it's a broken system that isn't based on anything scientific. If anything, science affirms the validity or trans people and their identities (further reading)."