forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!
Started by Deleted user
tune
Edit topic

people_alt 192 followers

Deleted user

The context of all of the following messages:

  • My boss is on a roll of firing people, and yesterday, me and my friends were freaking out because we thought that we, too, would be fired. So, in our delusional panic, we started coming up with messages that our boss might send us (and some of our co-workers) if he were to fire us.

Examples of how our boss sends a fire message:

  • As you can tell, this job isn't working out for you. Return your shirts when you can and pick up your final paycheck. We'd love to have you as a customer!!😜
  • Hey you know that this isn't for you. Let's call it quits. No hard feelings. Your last check is here Friday. Drop off your shirts. HAVE A FUN CRUISE!!!🌊⚓️🏴‍☠️

The messages that me and my friends sent each other to cope with possibly being fired:
(Our boss didn't send these to us, we just came up with these.)

  • “Hey, Ophelia. This job isn’t working out for you. You’re a useless shitface with the attention span of a 2-year-old. Drop off your shirts and get your fucking paycheck and never show your ugly ass face here ever again. Thx! Have fun with the school play!!!🎭😜”

  • “Hi, Mariano. We both know this job isn’t working out for you, you useless degenerate. Get high somewhere else, jackass. Drop off ur shirts by tmw or we’ll sue. Have fun getting absolutely inebriated!🍃🙏☺️”

  • “Hey, Isaac! Sadly, you bring too much happiness into this establishment, and we can’t have that! Also, this is Dairy Keen, not fucking America’s got Talent, so stop singing, loser. Drop off your shirts, and for the love of God, don’t start singing when you enter the building. Have a nice life! 😍🥰🙏”

  • “Hi, Megan, we recently have discovered that you are a band kid. That’s all I have to say, fuck off and never return. Die!! 😍😜”

  • “Hey, Jasmine! It’s clear this job isn’t for you, so let’s call it quits and go fuck off you degenerate non-Binary fuckass. Drop off your shirts by June 1st and collect your final paycheck and never come back! Have a nice Pride Month🥰🏳️‍🌈” -

  • “Hey JASMINE. We noticed you’re GAY? And have no GENDER? We don’t need that here, we have higher ups to impress. Knowing it’s pride month and all WE DON’T CARE! FUCK GAY PEOPLE! Turn in your shirt by next week or your biological father will be hearing about this. HAVE A NICE DAY! 👏🥳”

  • “Hi Mariano! We noticed you and Elise are getting a little TOO close! LEAVE NOW! 😜😜😜 Before we hire Jasmine to shoot you! NEVER COME BACK! Have a nice trip! 🥳🥳”

  • “Hi, Elise! We noticed you’re with Mariano, we don’t need that here! 🍃 You and him can go get a job somewhere else. Starbucks is taking your kind, and I’m sure there’s druggies like him! Your kids are gonna- drop off your shirt by tomorrow and DON’T COME BACK to Dairy Keen. HAVE A NICE WEEK! ✨😍☺️😜🍃”

Also I don't have anything against these people, Isaac has a wonderful voice and Megan is… a band kid. Love these degenerates though <3

@CinnamonTheHouseplant

The context of all of the following messages:

  • My boss is on a roll of firing people, and yesterday, me and my friends were freaking out because we thought that we, too, would be fired. So, in our delusional panic, we started coming up with messages that our boss might send us (and some of our co-workers) if he were to fire us.

Examples of how our boss sends a fire message:

  • As you can tell, this job isn't working out for you. Return your shirts when you can and pick up your final paycheck. We'd love to have you as a customer!!😜
  • Hey you know that this isn't for you. Let's call it quits. No hard feelings. Your last check is here Friday. Drop off your shirts. HAVE A FUN CRUISE!!!🌊⚓️🏴‍☠️

The messages that me and my friends sent each other to cope with possibly being fired:
(Our boss didn't send these to us, we just came up with these.)

  • “Hey, Ophelia. This job isn’t working out for you. You’re a useless shitface with the attention span of a 2-year-old. Drop off your shirts and get your fucking paycheck and never show your ugly ass face here ever again. Thx! Have fun with the school play!!!🎭😜”

  • “Hi, Mariano. We both know this job isn’t working out for you, you useless degenerate. Get high somewhere else, jackass. Drop off ur shirts by tmw or we’ll sue. Have fun getting absolutely inebriated!🍃🙏☺️”

  • “Hey, Isaac! Sadly, you bring too much happiness into this establishment, and we can’t have that! Also, this is Dairy Keen, not fucking America’s got Talent, so stop singing, loser. Drop off your shirts, and for the love of God, don’t start singing when you enter the building. Have a nice life! 😍🥰🙏”

  • “Hi, Megan, we recently have discovered that you are a band kid. That’s all I have to say, fuck off and never return. Die!! 😍😜”

  • “Hey, Jasmine! It’s clear this job isn’t for you, so let’s call it quits and go fuck off you degenerate non-Binary fuckass. Drop off your shirts by June 1st and collect your final paycheck and never come back! Have a nice Pride Month🥰🏳️‍🌈” -

  • “Hey JASMINE. We noticed you’re GAY? And have no GENDER? We don’t need that here, we have higher ups to impress. Knowing it’s pride month and all WE DON’T CARE! FUCK GAY PEOPLE! Turn in your shirt by next week or your biological father will be hearing about this. HAVE A NICE DAY! 👏🥳”

  • “Hi Mariano! We noticed you and Elise are getting a little TOO close! LEAVE NOW! 😜😜😜 Before we hire Jasmine to shoot you! NEVER COME BACK! Have a nice trip! 🥳🥳”

  • “Hi, Elise! We noticed you’re with Mariano, we don’t need that here! 🍃 You and him can go get a job somewhere else. Starbucks is taking your kind, and I’m sure there’s druggies like him! Your kids are gonna- drop off your shirt by tomorrow and DON’T COME BACK to Dairy Keen. HAVE A NICE WEEK! ✨😍☺️😜🍃”

Wow

Deleted user

The context of all of the following messages:

  • My boss is on a roll of firing people, and yesterday, me and my friends were freaking out because we thought that we, too, would be fired. So, in our delusional panic, we started coming up with messages that our boss might send us (and some of our co-workers) if he were to fire us.

Examples of how our boss sends a fire message:

  • As you can tell, this job isn't working out for you. Return your shirts when you can and pick up your final paycheck. We'd love to have you as a customer!!😜
  • Hey you know that this isn't for you. Let's call it quits. No hard feelings. Your last check is here Friday. Drop off your shirts. HAVE A FUN CRUISE!!!🌊⚓️🏴‍☠️

The messages that me and my friends sent each other to cope with possibly being fired:
(Our boss didn't send these to us, we just came up with these.)

  • “Hey, Ophelia. This job isn’t working out for you. You’re a useless shitface with the attention span of a 2-year-old. Drop off your shirts and get your fucking paycheck and never show your ugly ass face here ever again. Thx! Have fun with the school play!!!🎭😜”

  • “Hi, Mariano. We both know this job isn’t working out for you, you useless degenerate. Get high somewhere else, jackass. Drop off ur shirts by tmw or we’ll sue. Have fun getting absolutely inebriated!🍃🙏☺️”

  • “Hey, Isaac! Sadly, you bring too much happiness into this establishment, and we can’t have that! Also, this is Dairy Keen, not fucking America’s got Talent, so stop singing, loser. Drop off your shirts, and for the love of God, don’t start singing when you enter the building. Have a nice life! 😍🥰🙏”

  • “Hi, Megan, we recently have discovered that you are a band kid. That’s all I have to say, fuck off and never return. Die!! 😍😜”

  • “Hey, Jasmine! It’s clear this job isn’t for you, so let’s call it quits and go fuck off you degenerate non-Binary fuckass. Drop off your shirts by June 1st and collect your final paycheck and never come back! Have a nice Pride Month🥰🏳️‍🌈” -

  • “Hey JASMINE. We noticed you’re GAY? And have no GENDER? We don’t need that here, we have higher ups to impress. Knowing it’s pride month and all WE DON’T CARE! FUCK GAY PEOPLE! Turn in your shirt by next week or your biological father will be hearing about this. HAVE A NICE DAY! 👏🥳”

  • “Hi Mariano! We noticed you and Elise are getting a little TOO close! LEAVE NOW! 😜😜😜 Before we hire Jasmine to shoot you! NEVER COME BACK! Have a nice trip! 🥳🥳”

  • “Hi, Elise! We noticed you’re with Mariano, we don’t need that here! 🍃 You and him can go get a job somewhere else. Starbucks is taking your kind, and I’m sure there’s druggies like him! Your kids are gonna- drop off your shirt by tomorrow and DON’T COME BACK to Dairy Keen. HAVE A NICE WEEK! ✨😍☺️😜🍃”

Wow

CONGRATS ON SAYING WOW! HAVE MORE QUOTES!!!

Ophelia: Would anyone be interested in buying bottled air?
Bryn: I feel like there’s a movie that explains why that’s wrong.

Grayson: I thought someone fell.
Krysta: It was me, for Ophelia.

Ophelia: Meanwhile, elsewhere, the two people watching the couple.
Sunny: …what the fuc-

Aki: Oh my gosh, your brother’s on his way home!
Ophelia: NOOOOO.

Megan: Was it West Campus bathroom?
Ophelia: Yeah.
Isaac: I can think of two things that West Campus bathroom means, and neither of them are good.

Brian: My brother knows you.
Ophelia: Oh? What’s his name?
Brian: Tanner.
Ophelia: I don’t think I know him.
Brian: He knows you.
Ophelia: …That’s unsettling !!!

A regular repeated conversation at work
Person A: Does anyone need help?
Person B: Mentally, yes. With a shake? Also yes.

Grace: How is she so precious?
Amelia: She literally just punched you…

Ophelia: Why is the trash getting attached to your shoe?
Isaac: Opposites attract.

Ophelia: I laugh at literally everything to an extent that it’s not even funny anymore.
Megan: 9/11. Pearl Harbour. The Holocaust.
Ophelia: Please leave me alone. (Struggling to not laugh)

Isaac: The Art of Racing in the Rain made me cry.
Carly: If you don’t do your job, me and Susan will make you cry.

Carly: Ophelia, what are you doing? Are YOU the problem??!
Isaac: Yes, she is.
Ophelia: …thank you, Isaac.

Jasmine: Talking about getting fired
Ophelia: Talking about getting fired
Elise: You guys aren’t gonna get fired
Ophelia: Shh we’re coping.

Deleted user

"I would like a plant-based taser, thanks a bunch."
"I am property, Jace!"
“ A dead duck doesn’t fly backwards”

“Best friends are like old tomatoes and shoelaces.”
“I like to leave work after my eight-hour tea-break.”
“A purple pig and a green donkey flew a kite in the middle of the night and ended up sunburnt.”
“Purple is the best city in the forest.”
“I trust everything that's written in purple ink.”
“The sight of his goatee made me want to run and hide under my sister-in-law's bed.”

Deleted user

“Baby wipes are made of chocolate stardust.”
“I can't believe this is the eighth time I'm smashing open my piggy bank on the same day”
I was starting to worry that my pet turtle could tell what I was thinking.
I had a friend in high school named Rick Shaw, but he was fairly useless as a mode of transport.
“She cried diamonds”
I'm a great listener, really good with empathy vs sympathy and all that, but I hate people.
It must be easy to commit crimes as a snake because you don't have to worry about leaving fingerprints.

Deleted user

“Mrs. Isham, who was your seventh grade english teacher?” “Mr. Mactugle! He was the most amazing teacher of all time.” “Was he drippy?” “I mean, he was bald. But yes.” “DID HE HAVE EARRINGS LIKE MR. CLEAN?!”
“Best friends are like old tomatoes and shoelaces.”
“I like to leave work after my eight-hour tea-break.”
“A purple pig and a green donkey flew a kite in the middle of the night and ended up sunburnt.”
“What’s the answer to (math equation)?” “Celery!”
“Purple is the best city in the forest.”
“I trust everything that’s written in purple ink.”
“The sight of his goatee made me want to run and hide under my sister-in-law’s bed.”
“I AM AN ITALIAN SNAKE AT BEST!”
“People who insist on picking their teeth with their elbows are so annoying!”
“Baby wipes are made of chocolate stardust.”
“I can’t believe this is the eighth time I’m smashing open my piggy bank on the same day.”
“What in the deep-fried Carrie Underwood biscuit bunches?”
“I was starting to worry that my pet turtle could tell what I was thinking.”
“I had a friend in high school name Rick Shaw, but he was fairly useless as a mode of transport.”
“Between butt implants and breast implants, the first one tastes better.”
“She cried diamonds.”
“I’m a great listener, really good with empathy vs. sympathy and all that, but I hate people.”
“I’m floating off into the A-BISQUE!”
“It must be easy to commit crimes as a snake, because you you don’t have to worry about leaving fingerprints.”
“Mars has the sexiness and romance!”
“Beep. bEeP. BEEP. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”
“L L LL L L L L L L L L L L L L L L!!!”
“NOBODY CARES ABOUT JIMMY FALLON, TAYLOR.”
“If I impress you, can we continue class?”
“YOU CAN’T TOUCH MY WALKING STICK!”
“Tay. It’s ok. It’s just a butt. You can cut it off if you want.”
“Luisa, could you toss me that creepy old man up there?”
“WE HAVE A HOOD CULT! JOIN THE HOOD!”
“VECTOR! OH YEAH!!!”
“The baby’s in a cardboard box?!”
“Are you guys Fortnite Gamers?” “sigh Take a guess.” “Yes?” “Guess again.” “Yes again?”
“Turns out Oz was just Temple Square at Christmastime, and the munchkins were missionaries.”
gasp “IS PRESIDENT NELSON THE WIZARD OF OZ?” “You do realize that theory means that our Prophet is faking his role, right?” “…is the Wizard of Oz… Jesus?” “Max, could you please explain to me what kind of thought process you’re experiencing?”

“JASON, I CAN SMELL THAT FROM OVER HERE!”
(Landry, staring at the janitor door.) “Why’s that door thicker than that door? That’s racist.”
“I love ramen. I could eat it my whole life. I mean, I wouldn’t live that long. But, it’s ramen.”
“Ooo, I don’t have to use my horse whip anymore with this paper!” smacks the large stack of stapled papers against the palm of his hand “Oh, look, I’ve been impaled!”
“Please, don’t write that weather happens because the earth is peeing. You seriously would not believe the amount of time’s I’ve got that.”
“I didn’t recieve enough pixie sticks to power myself for the rest of the day… dies”
“Does anybody else ever feel like throwing a book at the ceiling to see what happens?”
“Elgh. There’s snails. It’s gotta be China.” “What’s the name of the cafe?” attempts to say french word “Um, chinese?” “Kolson, where do they eat snails, have cute cafes, and have a very large, pointy, extremely popular, structure?” “China?” “No, what’s Vivian wearing a necklace of.” “The Feiffel Tower? That’s STILL China.” all dying in unision
“What language uses Chinese?” “Chinese?”
“Mrs. Isham, are you slaying today?” “No, Sam. I am not slaying.”
“Maternal Guardians? Maternal Guardians?” “Ignores female offspring as I gasp in disbelief!”
“This is gotta be Australia, because there’s a dude.”

Deleted user

"There are like 15 tampons on the ceiling. What do we do?" "Add more."

Deleted user

“Hit me with your pet shark!”
“So long and thanks for the fish.”
“You bray like a donkey and I’ll bray like a coyote-mouse!”
“There is no way to correctly describe purple as creamy.’
“Sorry, I’ve got a bit of OCD.” “You sure it’s not OBCD?”
“Is sacrament water like…shots?”

Deleted user

“Hit me with your pet shark!”
“So long and thanks for the fish.”
“You bray like a donkey and I’ll bray like a coyote-mouse!”
“There is no way to correctly describe purple as creamy.’
“Sorry, I’ve got a bit of OCD.” “You sure it’s not OBCD?”
“Is sacrament water like…shots?”
Going to a Mormon church, I can confirm, sacrament water is indeed shots

Deleted user

“Hit me with your pet shark!”
“So long and thanks for the fish.”
“You bray like a donkey and I’ll bray like a coyote-mouse!”
“There is no way to correctly describe purple as creamy.’
“Sorry, I’ve got a bit of OCD.” “You sure it’s not OBCD?”
“Is sacrament water like…shots?”
Going to a Mormon church, I can confirm, sacrament water is indeed shots

same

@CaseyJ group

(A casual lunch conversation)
"If I was clothes I would be Jorts"
-friend
"and you would be a band t-shirt"
-said friend to other friend
"I would be like that one thing everyone has but no one wears"
-me
"Yeah you would be that one fancy shirt in the back of the closet"
-friend