College chemistry class (Dw im a highschool junior and so is my class) Person staring at very toxic chemical in lab that is neon pink "I would so drink that"
Me: "I would never drink anything that color"
her: "but it just looks so yum" My teacher staring at us like we are crazy
My chemistry teacher, lets call him Mr. M.
"Don't lick the greese, I have to say that in my second block because this one kid would try"
"If you fail chemistry you go to prison, true story"
"does anyone know what the formula is?" silence
"can you hear my little teacher heart breaking" someone answers it
"thank you, you didn't fix it but you stopped it from breaking worse"
me: "So it's only half broken?" "Its been half broken since I married my wife" cue shocked students
Me: "it was the cats wasn't it" Smiling and nodding/shaking head "yes I have cats"
"Having boyfriends and girlfriends is fine, but now that I'm married I can't even talk about my girlfriends"
All this happened January 30, 2023
Deleted user
(Mr. Woods) “Ok, so all you need to do is write what the tribes ate and how they got it.” (Siri) “THIS IS AS LOUD AS IT GETS!”
“Affectionate nickname for husband asking a question?” “Distracted affirmative reply!”
"Clowns terrify me, I haven't trusted a clown since I saw 'IT' back in the 80's…"
Deleted user
“Outlandish male rage intensification!”
“Mrs. Huezo! Adalyn keeps saying I’ve repented, and I don’t know what that means!” (someone else in the class) “It’s like…if you swear, you forgive Jesus and he gives you a handshake.”
“Ryland! I own your legs!” “NO! RYLAND! JACE DOESN’T OWN YOUR LEGS, I DO!”
“Dallas, that sounded like an orchestra philosophy.”
“Is it the certain male you’ve been having dreams about recently.” “Yes, he was serving us sushi.”
(Jason) “Brayan! Mi amiga!” (Taylor and Dani) “Jason, amiga means female.” (Jason) “No! The translator says it means friend!” turns around chromebook (Dani and Taylor absolutely dying laughing) “AMIGA MEANS FEMININE FRIEND, AND AMIGO MEANS MASCULINE FRIEND!” (Jason) “OHHH! HAHAHA! turns to Brayan AMIGO! turns to Dani and Taylor AMIGA, AMIGA! turning to Austen and doing the dude hand thing AMIGA!!!”
“So, what are your thoughts on an octopus apocalypse?”
“When my 5-year-old son was 2, he was just learning to talk and said, ‘Mama! Dada! Deoxyribonucleic Acid!’”
“Think about it. Are you crying over a boy or an onion?”
“I found out who took the hall pass.” “DON’T SAY THAT PHRASE, ISAAC”
“Hello, this is Kermit the Frog. Just a friendly reminder that if I see you doing anything non-essential without a face-mask, I will- STOOOOOOOMP YOUR KNEECAPS! BaCkWaRdS!”
"I will call you by your legal name if you attempt to jump out the window
Windows are great to stalk people, especially the guy with the scooter
Do you see my mother?
Ah I see her. But now most importantly, the guy with the scooter"
Deleted user
Elise: Opedophile!
Isaac: What.
Ophelia: It’s a dumb nickname, I know.
Isaac: That’s not a nickname, that’s an accusation.
Deleted user
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one’s for you.”
“Oh, hey! I know Ryland! I own his ears!”
“GUYS! SOFIA’S ABOUT TO DIE!” “At dying school?”
“Grace. Can you start vengeance against blood?”
“I’ll bray like a cow!” “Cows bray?” “Yeah! They bray to heaven for a chance to eat their counterparts!”
“Jason’s middle name is EDWARD???”
“I won ‘most likely to be seen with a good book.’ I have nothing to say about my future.”
“Jace. You’re most likely to go to jail for starting a cult about Bill Gates, then become Bill Gates.”
“You just accidentally, casually, just stab them in the butt.”
“My mom said I could be whatever I want when I grow up, so I’m going to be either a unicorn or a racoon pilot. I think being a racoon pilot would be pretty fun.”
“How do you say Data?” “Well, usually Dah-tuh. Day-tuh sounds professional. Like, clasps hands ‘We’ve been looking at your Day-tuh.’” “No, Dah-tuh sounds way more professional. Like ‘We’ve been looking at your Dah-tuh.’” “NO! YOU CAN’T! THAT’S MY DADDY!!!”
(Lily) “Mrs. Isham, after hearing about your theory of Jace’s future, what do you think we’ll be?” (Mrs. Isham) “Oh! I know exactly! turns to Mia Well, you’ll for sure be like an author. But like, the really good author. You’ll be on Oprah or something, because it’s like, so good.” turning to Lily ooo, ok. Um…contemplates oh! I know. You’ll have like an instagram account, and you’ll have a bunch of followers. But you’re not an influencer, you just have a great job and everyone likes you.”
Violas: “We don’t have to play here. We can make a sandwich, read a book, have grandchildren, then we play again!”
"I don't have enough hands" "You never have enough hands"
"where the hell did my hair go??"
"Are you lonely and depressed? Do you want to… disappear?" (chorus of voices) "Sign me up!"
"Who's your favorite starter pokemon?" "Squirtle!" "Wrong! It's Bulbasaur!"
Deleted user
WORK SHENANIGANS
Elise: OPIODS!
Ophelia: are you gonna call me something different every time you see me?
Elise: Bye, OPEDOPHILE!!
Isaac: What.
Ophelia: It’s a dumb nickname, I know.
Isaac: That’s not a nickname, that’s an accusation.
Ophelia: Summer… Elise had a love affair baby with Mariano.
Summer: WHAT?
Ophelia: But they’re over now.
Elise: No, me and Mariano are still together.
Summer: …we need to talk.
Benjamin: I’m gonna order the worst shake.
Ophelia: Gummy bear.
Benjamin: With brownies and cookie dough.
Ophelia: And marshmallow, coffee, caramel…
Benjamin: And of course, it must be gluten free
Ophelia: AND a thin shake.
Benjamin: WITH extra on each flavor.
Jakob: NOOOOOOO
Jakob: Don’t say they’re right, they’ll torture me.
Ophelia: You guys are right.
[These ones occured during my lunch break on Saturday]
Isaac: All they need is Jesus.
Ophelia: But how will they get Jesus…
Isaac: They’ll get Jesus if they believe in Jesus.
Ophelia: I can’t drive a car, I’m 14!
Isaac: Joseph Smith was 14.
Ophelia: …
Ophelia: And?
Isaac: He did something nobody else had done before.
Isaac: Raise a glass to freedom…
Ophelia: Something they can never take away.
[Clinks shake cups together]
Deleted user
"He's hitting on the queen even though he's nine and she's 14… He's probably gonna marry her someday"
Im a middle shooler today in 1st period I heard a kid say "why was there a condom on the floor" "Id like both my ears thank you" "I like your eggs" "If I see one more furry in the next 20 minutes I'm gonna scream (I'm a furry) screams"
Keyboard Controls
The following keyboard controls are supported across Notebook.ai.
All keyboard controls are disabled when editing a document or notebook page.
.png)
