forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

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"It's recipes from 'Chris Beat Cancer.'"
laughter "As terrible as that sounds… Crispy Cancer is not a phrase I ever thought I would hear!"
"What? It's Chris. Beat. Cancer."
"…Oh."
- My mom and @GayToaster

Okay, but WHY is it CRISPY???

"They earned it." "Its unfair!!!"

“Just a couple days until we get to strip you down in front of a live audience!” -Ophelia

“You and Isaac are like my platonically divorced parents.” -Ophelia

"It isn't a good day until i make a girl cry" -Reynolds

“I’ve never been more disappointed in my li- I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY LIFE!” -Ivy

“My name is Stanford, and I love children. I love them so much that I take them away from their teenage mothers and hand them over to my associate who puts them in a carpet bag and throws them off trains.” -Sam

Orson: What if I went to the electronics isle?
Ophelia: What if we left you here forever and you found a new family?

Ophelia: Me and Jasmine are wreaking havoc at a park in Orem
Isaac: That’s lit.
Ophelia: It’ll be more lit when Jasmine lights the place on fire.

** Bright Star Shenanigans: **

Bert: Ben, I’m going to throw you out of this car.
Ophelia: Wait, not yet. Wait until we get to Main Street.

Ophelia: She’s gone. Under the ground.
Krysta: Where she belongs.

Isaac: Choir is the fire nation
Ben BBC: Fire Lord Reynolds
Isaac: Prince Isuko.

Ophelia: The accident happened 5 years ago, Isaac, you need to let us go.
Isaac: I never should have crashed that bus!

Isaac: Wanna know what else is underrated that nobody does?
Kate: Me.

Grayson: I thought someone fell.
Krysta: It was me, for Ophelia.

Isaac: I woke up and could hardly hear.
Ophelia: Just get new ears.
Lexy: Yeah, ISAAC.

Lexy: I’m scared that if I date people in college, they’ll kick me out.
Ophelia: Maybe in BYU
Isaac: If you’re not straight and married in freshman year.

Abby: Wait, Ophelia and Hannah are related?
Kate: Hannah, what is your last name?
Hannah: Jimmy.

Newsies Cop: Get out of here! Go!
Ophelia: Ok. (Gets up)
Ben: Ok. (Gets up)

(THE ENITRE PEARPOSAL INCIDENT: Context, the sound broke right before we were about to perform “What Could be Better”, so Greyson and Skyla had to improvise a little bit. He then proposed to her with a pear when the sound was working again during "I Can't Wait")

Ben Burrow: Where are you going?
Ophelia: Dairy Keen, to pick up my check.
Ben Burrow: Get in my car.

Ophelia: Got hit by a TRAIN BURGER?!
Isaac: Yes.

Landon: Ophelia, Isaac, is there a ghost haunting the Dairy Keen?
Ophelia: Yes.
Landon: Ooh, what’s his name?
Isaac: Mike. (Context: Mike is our boss's name)

Isaac: Wait, if you’re now Daddy Murphy and the Mayor, what does this mean for Alice and Jimmy Ray?
Landon: Hey, this is the SMALL TOWN of Zebulon, and a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do when a man’s gotta do what he’s got to.
Ophelia: Wait, so now you’re married to Mama Murphy AND your wife?
Landon: We’re in a polygamous relationship.
Isaac: Mormons be like:

Landon: If I don’t get this card for my birthday, I’ve failed at life.
Isaac: Reading I’ve sent this naked man to deliver you a message-

Isaac: Were you there that one morning at work I accidentally swore in front of everyone?
Ophelia: WAIT I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY SWEAR
Isaac: WAIT I MEAN-

“Just a couple days until we get to strip you down in front of a live audience!” -Ophelia

“You and Isaac are like my platonically divorced parents.” -Ophelia

"It isn't a good day until i make a girl cry" -Reynolds

“I’ve never been more disappointed in my li- I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY LIFE!” -Ivy

“My name is Stanford, and I love children. I love them so much that I take them away from their teenage mothers and hand them over to my associate who puts them in a carpet bag and throws them off trains.” -Sam

Orson: What if I went to the electronics isle?
Ophelia: What if we left you here forever and you found a new family?

Ophelia: Me and Jasmine are wreaking havoc at a park in Orem
Isaac: That’s lit.
Ophelia: It’ll be more lit when Jasmine lights the place on fire.

** Bright Star Shenanigans: **

Bert: Ben, I’m going to throw you out of this car.
Ophelia: Wait, not yet. Wait until we get to Main Street.

Ophelia: She’s gone. Under the ground.
Krysta: Where she belongs.

Isaac: Choir is the fire nation
Ben BBC: Fire Lord Reynolds
Isaac: Prince Isuko.

Ophelia: The accident happened 5 years ago, Isaac, you need to let us go.
Isaac: I never should have crashed that bus!

Isaac: Wanna know what else is underrated that nobody does?
Kate: Me.

Grayson: I thought someone fell.
Krysta: It was me, for Ophelia.

Isaac: I woke up and could hardly hear.
Ophelia: Just get new ears.
Lexy: Yeah, ISAAC.

Lexy: I’m scared that if I date people in college, they’ll kick me out.
Ophelia: Maybe in BYU
Isaac: If you’re not straight and married in freshman year.

Abby: Wait, Ophelia and Hannah are related?
Kate: Hannah, what is your last name?
Hannah: Jimmy.

Newsies Cop: Get out of here! Go!
Ophelia: Ok. (Gets up)
Ben: Ok. (Gets up)

(THE ENITRE PEARPOSAL INCIDENT: Context, the sound broke right before we were about to perform “What Could be Better”, so Greyson and Skyla had to improvise a little bit. He then proposed to her with a pear when the sound was working again during "I Can't Wait")

Ben Burrow: Where are you going?
Ophelia: Dairy Keen, to pick up my check.
Ben Burrow: Get in my car.

Ophelia: Got hit by a TRAIN BURGER?!
Isaac: Yes.

Landon: Ophelia, Isaac, is there a ghost haunting the Dairy Keen?
Ophelia: Yes.
Landon: Ooh, what’s his name?
Isaac: Mike. (Context: Mike is our boss's name)

Isaac: Wait, if you’re now Daddy Murphy and the Mayor, what does this mean for Alice and Jimmy Ray?
Landon: Hey, this is the SMALL TOWN of Zebulon, and a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do when a man’s gotta do what he’s got to.
Ophelia: Wait, so now you’re married to Mama Murphy AND your wife?
Landon: We’re in a polygamous relationship.
Isaac: Mormons be like:

Landon: If I don’t get this card for my birthday, I’ve failed at life.
Isaac: Reading I’ve sent this naked man to deliver you a message-

Isaac: Were you there that one morning at work I accidentally swore in front of everyone?
Ophelia: WAIT I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY SWEAR
Isaac: WAIT I MEAN-

Ah, yes. Theater kid chaos.

"…the ethereal summer sausage..!"

"im not gay" "bro u kissed me" "Oh yeah, I'm gay"

"Wasn't it like, a video game?" "Ya and then they made it into a tv show." "The characters are gonna have double jumps and special powers." "Ummmmm"

"Ok cause you and you are gay I'm asking Name and name." "Im not gay?" "WHAT?"

"Ex-GAY-use me?!?!?!?!"

"I will call you by your legal name if you attempt to jump out of the window."

"I'm not going to the party, I'll be hiding in my insert swear word here room!"

"Spider man, are you listening to church hymns?"

"I removed his smile. He’s not happy."

Staring angrily at a computer screen "HUGH JACKMAN"

"OOOOOH, I like musicians!!!"

"The goose stops honking, understanding that a sneaky goose is a successful goose."

"What do you mean you’re happy to work with me?! I killed a family of ten!!!!"

"I’m trying to flirt with an orange on my head…"

"What’s the name of Thor’s hammer?"
"OATHBRINGER!!!!"

"I don't want to go to the party, I'd rather stay home. But if I had to choose, I'd rather be overdressed, because *shows people clothes * this is what I 'm gonna wear, and if this is being overdressed, then- then insert swear word here you!"

"EVERYDAY IS TUESDAY!” “EXCEPT FOR SUNDAY!” “YEAAAAHHH!”

“We could have stopped World War Two if Bob Ross had taught Hitler how to paint! We could have a German talk show!”

“I tell my victims not to consume too much toothpaste. They never really listen.”

“The f in orphans stands for family.” “But there isn’t an f in orphan…” “That's right.”

“I’m cult circling on a mattress in my orthodontist’s basement!”

“See, hexagons are the best-agons!”

“Yeah, exactly! Torturing cows! You’re just hurting them for sport!”

"EVERYDAY IS TUESDAY!” “EXCEPT FOR SUNDAY!” “YEAAAAHHH!”

“We could have stopped World War Two if Bob Ross had taught Hitler how to paint! We could have a German talk show!”

“I tell my victims not to consume too much toothpaste. They never really listen.”

“The f in orphans stands for family.” “But there isn’t an f in orphan…” “That's right.”

“I’m cult circling on a mattress in my orthodontist’s basement!”

“See, hexagons are the best-agons!”

“Yeah, exactly! Torturing cows! You’re just hurting them for sport!”

"EVERYDAY IS TUESDAY!” “EXCEPT FOR SUNDAY!” “YEAAAAHHH!”

“We could have stopped World War Two if Bob Ross had taught Hitler how to paint! We could have a German talk show!”

“I tell my victims not to consume too much toothpaste. They never really listen.”

“The f in orphans stands for family.” “But there isn’t an f in orphan…” “That's right.”

“I’m cult circling on a mattress in my orthodontist’s basement!”

“See, hexagons are the best-agons!”

“Yeah, exactly! Torturing cows! You’re just hurting them for sport!”

"Oh, you're not humans! Now I can eat you!"

"God damn it. My two year old could do this trigonometry in seconds!"

"Look, I know I haven't been in school in a while." Proceeds to slip a $20 to the Vice Principle

"If a man had the square root of 75 apples, divided by the time it took my father to come home from getting the milk, How many apples does he have?"

"√(-1) 2³ ∑π and it was delicious"

"I saw a little old man dancing around a fire."

"I wish my mom cared about me, she left" "She did not."

"Repeated he's!" "As in…hehehehehe?" "YES!"

"My back just cracked like the twin towers." "Woah, woah woah. That was a TERRIBLE analogy."

"I have never slept on the floor."

"My sister is no longer allowed to rollerblade in the kitchen while I'm cooking."