I live in a pineapple under a pineapple under a pineapple I live in a pineapple under a pineapple under a pineapple I live in a pineapple under a pineapple under a pineapple I live in a pineapple under a pineapple under a pineapple
"Well, I didn't come here to fuck spiders."
guy friend's dog runs away
"She might be at boyfriend house." - friend
"Wait, boyfriend? Whose boyfriend?"
"Not Will's, dummy. I wish." -other friend
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friend spinning around on a tire swing
"He's now a stripper, we shall call him Chontol Taytay"
"And now, you may ask, who on earth could create a musical about Nazi Germany? IT'S TWO TEENAGE JEWS! Now presenting….HITLERTOWN!"
ominous piano chord played on a cat keyboard
"Congrats on the piss"
“Can you traumatize a goldfish?”
"You look like an old man on crack."
“I once knew a girl who would leave sticky notes of kids names of who she’d slept with in the school on all of my stuff. There were a looooot of sticky notes.”
“I once knew a girl who would leave sticky notes of kids names of who she’d slept with in the school on all of my stuff. There were a looooot of sticky notes.”
Were they individual notes or were there multiple names on one note?
Me and my friend R: Giving our other friend career advice
R: Oh my god, we're literally parents
Me: Mom friend and dad friend, high five
“I once knew a girl who would leave sticky notes of kids names of who she’d slept with in the school on all of my stuff. There were a looooot of sticky notes.”
Were they individual notes or were there multiple names on one note?
There was only one name per sticky note, but we do go to a very small school (probably between 50-80 students per grade).
"I can't be pregnant. I'm a dude, I don't have a womb, and there's no where for it to come out of."
"Squeeze that bastard out like toothpaste."
"I can't be pregnant. I'm a dude, I don't have a womb, and there's no where for it to come out of."
"Squeeze that bastard out like toothpaste."
(dude holy shit I just broke down laughing)
“Waffles are pancakes. With abs. Waffles are basic thots. You don’t want her. You want something new, not something basic. You’ve already seen her before. But the pancake is an original thot. Shes new. You want her instead.”
“Waffles are pancakes. With abs. Waffles are basic thots. You don’t want her. You want something new, not something basic. You’ve already seen her before. But the pancake is an original thot. Shes new. You want her instead.”
So what would French Toast be?
"I can't be pregnant. I'm a dude, I don't have a womb, and there's no where for it to come out of."
"Squeeze that bastard out like toothpaste."(dude holy shit I just broke down laughing)
Lmao this was a conversation between me and my friend
“Waffles are pancakes. With abs. Waffles are basic thots. You don’t want her. You want something new, not something basic. You’ve already seen her before. But the pancake is an original thot. Shes new. You want her instead.”
So what would French Toast be?
Pancakes are basic thots, waffles are gym thots, and french toast are caked-up makeup thots. Not, like, the GOOD makeup though. The extra-crispy colonel sanders kind, the ones that use bronzer while already having a fake tan.
Did you mean: cheerleaders
my friend: well since (our other mutual friend) is a bad mom do you want to be my new mom?
me, a disaster child: no
my friend: okay then (turns to other friend) you are now my mom again
My teacher has a board that she writes a random thing on every day and today it says "Oscar says: 'sometimes you encourage a friend by sitting quietly next to them. Other times you just have to bark at them'"
Oscar is her dog lol
About Frankenstein
Friend: the monster is still the best character change my mind
Me: I present to you Clerval. That is all, thanks for coming to my ted talk bye
“I talked to Mr. Barr today and it took all of my willpower not to ask him if he was going to duel Mr. Humilton.”
Choir class many a day ago…
Class: singing Give Us Hope We are the simple (We are the future is the correct line)
“I talked to Mr. Barr today and it took all of my willpower not to ask him if he was going to duel Mr. Humilton.”
I should NOT be laughing this hard