forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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"Stop screaming, I'm not killing you yet."

social studies teacher walks back into the room
"You guys do some pretty weird stuff."
Kid in the back
"So does your wife."

"The Virginia Company grew tobacco. Actual tobacco, not wacky tobaccky."

• My APUSH teacher

"So…if someone is dead, and you kill them-"
"You can't kill them if they're already dead."
"No I mean if you killed them and so they died."
"Why did you kill them?"
"Well-"
"Why are we talking about killing people? Killing people isn't a white lie."
"But if a fish dies and you bought a new one to preserve your child's innocence, that's a white lie."
"Why do they all involve death?"
"Well, what else do you lie about?"

"The big stall is the perfect place to have a crisis."

"Oh my gosh, she complimented my outfit."
"Shut up you gay whore."

soaks marshmallow in Dr Pepper and eats it, then chugs the Dr Pepper
“No one talk to me.”

"ultimate frisbee. you take aim and YEET!"

"… Why are you rubbing your boobs?"

“Ooh~! That's gay.“
“Honey we all are~!“

"You're having sex? Dude that doesn't exist."

"I prayed a whole rosary before the battle and this is what I get?! I'm converting to Anglicanism."
"That doesn't exist yet."
"Shut up, Henry."

"Wait so a lizard laid a chicken egg?"

"Calvo turpius est nihil comato, Aka, nothing is uglier than a bald man with hair."
"Words to live by."

Yes hahahaha

"I'm never sucking dick again."

friend goes to get batteries from the library for weather machine
friend gets called down to the library
Teacher: “I wonder what that could be for.”
Friend: “Oh yeah, I kinda didn’t ask for the batteries.”

"'Bout to pick up some Cherokee chicks on the Trail of Beers."

"Are you justifying cannibalism?"

watches anime in class
screams at rin and haru

hahaha yes rin and haru

My little brother: "Mommy, what store did I come from?"
My older brother: "You came from mommy's tummy."
little brother: "Wait, so mommy ate me?!"

The poor boy. One of my older brothers convinced him that he hatched out of an egg, and he still believes it.

CATAPULTAM HABEO. NISI PECUNIAM OMNEM MIHI DABIS, AD CAPUT TUUM SAXUM IMMANE MITTAM
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

I call this: An exchange while putting away lunch trays.

"I'm not your daughter!"
"Who's your daddy?"
Facepalms "Goddammit, Lizzie you fucking idiot."

"I wanna drown!"

We did "The Little Mermaid Jr." in school and after the scene where Ariel and Prince Eric almost kiss in the lagoon I heard the kid playing Prince Eric mumble "That time it was too close." backstage XD

"Life hack: wear really long jeans with your sandals to hide your tan lines hahahaha"