forum Quotes from the List of Completely Weird and Random Things We’ve Overheard… (About 15 quotes will be posted daily, and feel completely free to add your own!)

Started April 03, 2023 by @IamNOTachickenok

tune

"I have breast cancer now" -my brain after getting punched in the tit by my quarterback brother

"I have breast cancer now" -my brain after getting punched in the tit by my quarterback brother

XDDD

(Mind you I'm sitting in a hospital waiting room)
Dad: "Honey?"
Mom: "Yes?"
Dad: "I could really go for something to eat rn."
Mom: "Well, I'm right here."

NOOOO 😭😭😭

O.o

Yeaaahhhhhh. I have another one again.
Mom: MY MAYO WON'T OPEN
Dad: Let me try baby. gets handed the mayo packet as he smacks it against the table and it explodes
Me: just laughing my ass off because of how easily it exploded
Mom: I guess it squirted, didn't it?
Dad: Britney, we're in a waiting room.

Mom: Oh there's my clip.
Dad: What?
Mom: My clip.
Dad: OHHH CLIP-
Mom: gives him the mother glare I will throw a fry at you.

XDDD

@Eli-the-transboi told me to write this:
"God I like it when he screams, I want his gender."

• "I wonder if it would ruin our friendship if I smacked his eyebrows off?"

• "As for me, I was about as lucky as a three-leaf clover."

"This, is a piece of wood, and when you put it next to this other piece of wood, dramatic pause, nothing happens…"

"shoeicide." "did you say suicide?" "shoeicide."

"Can you go somewhere" takes a babystep to the side "I'm somewhere."

"here's an orb of infinite knowledge." "let's switch orbs."

"I wish i could have a breadwinner spouse but in the way where they buy me legos and clothes like I am a boy failure"

• "Should I put them in a bromance?"
  "Mayhaps."

• "He bit into an orange like it was an apple; no I'm not okay."

• "I'm going to punch your cat in the chest if he keeps yelling at me."
  "Don't tease him with food, then?"
  "…Alright, good point."

“If you don’t want to call it eye jelly, just call it eye pulp.” - my classmate
“NO!! THAT’S EVEN WORSE!! THAT IMPLIES THAT YOU CAN GET EYES PULP FREE-“ - my bio teacher

AYO LMAOOOO

"When I die, I want my last words to be 'Koolaid is smackalackin on God.'" -my brain lying awake at 3:46 am yesterday

"I just scored reallllyyyy high on the assessment." - me, at like 11:30 this morning because my therapist is here ;-;

"I thought she said cromatit"

"Congratulations, you're now in my powerpoint."

two seconds later

"I'm taking you out of my powerpoint"

• "He got bit by 400 rats, and they wouldn't even give him a rabies shot. They gave him a coloring book."

"I WANNA BE THE SLUTTY ONE"
"HEY! I CALLED DIBS" (my friend and I are auditioning for anything goes at our hs and we both wanna be Erma)