My parents tell me to "grow up" every time I show a sign that everything's not perfectly okay in my brain and I can't exactly go to a professional on my own^^^^!!!! Me too!
Use resources, like trusted adults or school counselors.
The school counselors hate me and I hate them. And part of their job is to tell your parents what's happening. All of my "trusted adults" report my every move to my parents.
Especially if you have no idea what your support system would be like if you announced it.
I speak partially from experience since a few months ago of I had some issues and started doing research on depression… I have no diagnosis and I haven't told anyone IRL, but even the thought that what I was dealing with could be some form of depression was scary, really scary. I haven't had anything that bad since, so I don't know if my suspicions were correct or not, but it was the suspicions that really had me out of wack for weeks.That's when you should see a professional. And, you know, maybe get diagnosed.
To be blunt, yes. I know I should probably see a professional. And I have a few other reasons as to why a therapist would be a great idea.
But at the same time, I Have shown my mom a document full of tearfully written venting on a private google doc, some of the content if which was a little more than just depression related.
During the ensuing conversation, I basically got told that this was normal. I got asked a couple of questions about specific stuff related to bullying incidents, but otherwise, she let me cry, deflected my questions and fears, and left me convinced that she could probably use a therapist just as much as me.
Have you considered that maybe, especially seeing as you got information from online research, it is/was normal?
I'm not saying this to be petty. I'm honest. Teenagers do usually go through a time of no bueno.
And kids, online research about some things shouldn't be trusted.
This was towards the downfall of those weeks of self uncertainty, after which I basically resorted to the mottos of "fake it till you make it", and "tomorrow will be better, " and Dory's saying of "just keep swimming"
As far as actually asking to see a therapist, (which I have not done) I probably won't do that, as my mom works her butt off till past midnight regularly to provide for me and my sisters. We aren't exactly poor, but the budget we live on isn't exactly the kind that leaves you with the money to see a therapist, I actually consider myself lucky I can get my prescription for ADHD since I'm 90% sure we live on all the government payments my mom gets for having kids, and the child support we get from mine and my sisters' fathers.
Does your school have a counselor? When I started therapy in third grade, it was with a counselor. I'm sure yours wouldn't mind setting up a few meetings or creating a schedule.
My parents tell me to "grow up" every time I show a sign that everything's not perfectly okay in my brain and I can't exactly go to a professional on my own^^^^!!!! Me too!
Use resources, like trusted adults or school counselors.
The school counselors hate me and I hate them. All of my "trusted adults" report my every move to my parents.
Well, maybe that's a good thing. Adults like other adults reassuring them. The more people who tell your parents "hey, Lizzie said this and that," the more likely it is they'll eventually think "hey, maybe we should look into this."
Clearly you do not know my parents. This would be seen as a cry for attention and they would be angry that I don't talk to them and think I'm more childish than they already do. I've learned this from experience and it got me in a heck of a lot more trouble
My parents tell me to "grow up" every time I show a sign that everything's not perfectly okay in my brain and I can't exactly go to a professional on my own^^^^!!!! Me too!
Use resources, like trusted adults or school counselors.
The school counselors hate me and I hate them. And part of their job is to tell your parents what's happening. All of my "trusted adults" report my every move to my parents.
As Pickles stated, this is also another big problem. And as my mom is a big cause of a lot of the insecurities and issues I suspect I have, and because she is my only legal guardian, if I went to anyone it would go back to her.
Clearly you do not know my parents. This would be seen as a cry for attention and they would be angry that I don't talk to them and think I'm more childish than they already do. I've learned this from experience and it got me in a heck of a lot more trouble
Honestly same, though maybe not that extreme. At the moment my biggest issue is the fact that my mom won't let me get stuff out without shooting me down for being "wrong, " or repeating myself. (, which I tend to do when I'm talking fast or get interrupted)
Long story short is it's not a great option for me to reach out to my mom since she has a hanit of Not ever listening to me.
Then reach out to other people.
I'm not in your shoes, I can't tell you what to do next,
But there's no way it's impossible for you to get help.
you can only go off experience, if you live in a situation where it seems like you can't get help,,, then you can't get help, you can't help that-
you can only go off experience, if you live in a situation where it seems like you can't get help,,, then you can't get help, you can't help that-
There
Is
Never
No way
To
Get
Help.
Don't try and tell me it's impossible for someone to do something about their situation.
And with all due respect, can you stop using so many subs? If you have something to say, we'd love to see it, but, yaknow, we can't.
Some people simply can't afford to get professional help, Miriam
It's really expensive, and not in a lot of people's budgets
And while it certainly helps when you have the right one, it's hard to find the right one (at least for me), and that process is also expensive
Not to mention, many people on here who are venting about symptoms have tried to get help
They've told their parents, and it made their situation worse
School counselors really aren't a fantastic option in my opinion, and I don't particularly trust them
An actual therapist can be trusted to keep information (except life threatening information) within the room and not express it to your parents
It feels a hell of a lot safer
What we're saying is, not everyone is able to get a professional diagnosis, but they are still entitled to their feelings, and if they are worried they may have anxiety or depression or whatever else, they have every right to vent about it
For many people, notebook is the only place they can vent, and bringing them down about not having an official diagnosis that they quite literally can't afford to get is invalidating and hurtful and takes away their only safe vent place
Idk that's just my opinion, take it as you will
My cat just tried to eat a piece of carpet, then got mad when I took it away from her bc she was choking on it.
Truly an iconic big-brained animal.
My cat just tried to eat a piece of carpet, then got mad when I took it away from her bc she was choking on it.
Truly an iconic big-brained animal.
I love her
Then reach out to other people.
I'm not in your shoes, I can't tell you what to do next,
But there's no way it's impossible for you to get help.
I know it's not impossible for me to get help. But at this point in my life going through all the roadblocks to get to that help is going to do a number of things, all of which are negative.
One, it'll uproot my life, something that has happened more than 11 times, (that's the number of times I've moved in my life. Not counting surviving a divorce, losing friends, getting lice a number of times, and the night the police had to be called back when I was maybe 5-6.
Two. It'll probably destroy my already shaky relationship with my mom. Permanently. And I am not ready for that to happen.
Three. It would change everything I know about myself,
Four. It will involve going back into some nasty emotional stuff I survived as a kid and teen, a lot of which I only know about thanks to my mom's blog, leading me to believe I have suppressed memories.
Five, the fight and push to get help will probably hurt me more than it will ever help me, especially at this moment in my life.
Overall, as of right this instant, it's emotionally less terrifying and potentially damaging to wait till I'm a legal adult to go look for therapy.
Some people simply can't afford to get professional help, Miriam
It's really expensive, and not in a lot of people's budgets
Oh, I know.
My family doesn't have a ton of money.
But insurance will cover it for a lot of people.
And while it certainly helps when you have the right one, it's hard to find the right one (at least for me), and that process is also expensive
Not to mention, many people on here who are venting about symptoms have tried to get help
They've told their parents, and it made their situation worse
School counselors really aren't a fantastic option in my opinion, and I don't particularly trust them
An actual therapist can be trusted to keep information (except life threatening information) within the room and not express it to your parents
It feels a hell of a lot safer
Then find someone else to talk to. A friend. A teacher. Anyone.
What we're saying is, not everyone is able to get a professional diagnosis, but they are still entitled to their feelings, and if they are worried they may have anxiety or depression or whatever else, they have every right to vent about it
Right. But, again, claiming to have a disorder is different from expression feelings.
For many people, notebook is the only place they can vent, and bringing them down about not having an official diagnosis that they quite literally can't afford to get is invalidating and hurtful and takes away their only safe vent place
If you can't get diagnosed, then refrain from saying you have something???? It's simple.
My cat just tried to eat a piece of carpet, then got mad when I took it away from her bc she was choking on it.
Truly an iconic big-brained animal.I love her
Me too.
why the actual fuck do i still bother with art
why haven’t i just thrown everything away yet
it’s clearly only hurting me…
Some people simply can't afford to get professional help, Miriam
It's really expensive, and not in a lot of people's budgets
And while it certainly helps when you have the right one, it's hard to find the right one (at least for me), and that process is also expensive
Not to mention, many people on here who are venting about symptoms have tried to get help
They've told their parents, and it made their situation worse
School counselors really aren't a fantastic option in my opinion, and I don't particularly trust them
An actual therapist can be trusted to keep information (except life threatening information) within the room and not express it to your parents
It feels a hell of a lot safer
What we're saying is, not everyone is able to get a professional diagnosis, but they are still entitled to their feelings, and if they are worried they may have anxiety or depression or whatever else, they have every right to vent about it
For many people, notebook is the only place they can vent, and bringing them down about not having an official diagnosis that they quite literally can't afford to get is invalidating and hurtful and takes away their only safe vent placeIdk that's just my opinion, take it as you will
Thank you so much for voicing a bunch of my other issues on this so perfectly..
Just real quick about the whole "Diagnosis" spiel you guys have got going on….
While you are more than welcome to vent about your issues, I would suggest refraining from using """"""triggering""""" speech (ie: Im depressed….blah blah blah etc etc etc) because it can be really harmful to those who actually–and constantly–fight against awful symptoms. It's not that it is upsetting, it's that it comes off that you're using it to be quirky and 'special' without understanding how truly debilitating many of these mental disorders/issues can be. Just try to be gentle, if not for the people who are in a constant uphill battle, for yourself. It's not fun to be apart of this club. Some people can't leave their house for days, have to have their parents come and check on them every other day to make sure they are breathing and eating, or have to have daily emails to/with their therapist about how life feels.
I have depression. Fully diagnosed since I was about 13(ish–give or take a year). I never tell people that I feel depressed or sad or down or anything because I know how that makes others feel and it makes me feel as well. Most of the time I say "I'm feeling blue." That lets them all know that Im not exactly okay and need help, but is also gentle on everyone, and brings a spot of color into a bad day.
Shrug
Thats just an example.
Anyway–
The most frustrating thing is that getting a diagnosis is a battle in of itself. It's a first step in working to make ourselves better and having an obviously atypical person bathering on about how life is so awful really, really steps on all of the hard work that we've put into ourselves. If you suspect you have something, go to a doctor, you have the right to know and work towards healing.
Dont just vent.
Do something about it.
This, 100%.
why the actual fuck do i still bother with art
why haven’t i just thrown everything away yet
it’s clearly only hurting me…
you are great at art ella !
why the actual fuck do i still bother with art
why haven’t i just thrown everything away yet
it’s clearly only hurting me…
What about it is hurting you, Els?
My cat just tried to eat a piece of carpet, then got mad when I took it away from her bc she was choking on it.
Truly an iconic big-brained animal.I love her
Me too.
Thank you, she's currently stretching one leg straight up and licking herself. She looks like a right triangle, it's ridiculous. She also photobombed my call with my therapist this morning, and tried to open my door by slapping the handle.
why the actual fuck do i still bother with art
why haven’t i just thrown everything away yet
it’s clearly only hurting me…
I’ll like, hurt you
You’re incredible at art, Ella, stop your nonsense
Then reach out to other people.
I'm not in your shoes, I can't tell you what to do next,
But there's no way it's impossible for you to get help.I know it's not impossible for me to get help. But at this point in my life going through all the roadblocks to get to that help is going to do a number of things, all of which are negative.
Then honestly, that's on you.
Your decision not to get help is completely a you thing.
One, it'll uproot my life, something that has happened more than 11 times, (that's the number of times I've moved in my life. Not counting surviving a divorce, losing friends, getting lice a number of times, and the night the police had to be called back when I was maybe 5-6.
Perhaps for the better. The literal definition of 'help' is "make it easier for (someone) to do something by offering one's services or resources."
Two. It'll probably destroy my already shaky relationship with my mom. Permanently. And I am not ready for that to happen.
If your mother doesn't want you to get mental health support, maybe that's another thing you could seek help for.
Three. It would change everything I know about myself,
….
How??
Four. It will involve going back into some nasty emotional stuff I survived as a kid and teen, a lot of which I only know about thanks to my mom's blog, leading me to believe I have suppressed memories.
Again with this online stuff. I mean this in a helpful way: "leading me to believe" does not equal "I have."
And if you decided you didn't want to go back to those nasty things, a professional can't make you. They can only suggest.
Five, the fight and push to get help will probably hurt me more than it will ever help me, especially at this moment in my life.
Overall, as of right this instant, it's emotionally less terrifying and potentially damaging to wait till I'm a legal adult to go look for therapy.
Nobody said you couldn't wait. If that works for you, wait.
My cat just tried to eat a piece of carpet, then got mad when I took it away from her bc she was choking on it.
Truly an iconic big-brained animal.I love her
Me too.
Thank you, she's currently stretching one leg straight up and licking herself. She looks like a right triangle, it's ridiculous. She also photobombed my call with my therapist this morning, and tried to open my door by slapping the handle.
I love this.
And while it certainly helps when you have the right one, it's hard to find the right one (at least for me), and that process is also expensive
Not to mention, many people on here who are venting about symptoms have tried to get help
They've told their parents, and it made their situation worse
School counselors really aren't a fantastic option in my opinion, and I don't particularly trust them
An actual therapist can be trusted to keep information (except life threatening information) within the room and not express it to your parents
It feels a hell of a lot saferThen find someone else to talk to. A friend. A teacher. Anyone.
This is literally what people are trying to do when they vent about it on here??