My aesthetic is slipping on some bulky headphones, it's pretty dark with the sun just about to finish setting. You see me sitting on an old swing, not swinging, just sitting there. You see me staring into the distance and then, you see nothing.
Am I okay? No. I am crying. Do I know why? No.
I think I was dissociating? I deff had some sort of flashback but I can't really remember it. But all I can think about now is water filling up my throat and it being salty. I wasn't able to breath and I really can't now.
@UnseelieKing that lo-key sounds like remembering how you died in a past life…
When I look at this… not going to lie… I kind of imagine a suicide attempt.
It was probably just a flashback to the time I almost drowned y'all. I don't think it's that drastic.
That makes so much more sense.
Phew! I just put crying and drowning together and my mind tends to jump to the depressing stuff first. Hope your ok still though <3
Yeah, the only trauma I remember.
But just found out that your boi actually does dissociate so there might be more to that.
I dissociate sometimes too (not very often tho) and I haven't experienced any real trauma in my life i think
I dropped a flag on my face and it really hurts so that's fun
Hold up. Like a whole flag post? Like the whole thing?
No a spinny spinny flag. Like, guard. Not like, one of the big flag poles that are outside
Ok good bc I'm sure a big flagpole would hurt more. Also, sorry for your face.
A big flagpole would've killed me probably. Or sent me to the hospital. I'm tiny
You know you've peaked in life when your sitting at home and eating ramen for dinner at home doing nothing because all of your other friends and even your brother has plans and stuffs and you're just like welp guess I'll be in my room now.
I have random worries about stuff I shouldn't be worried about and I sorta broke down crying in my boyfriends arms and just AUUUUGH. on the upside I haven't had a mental breakdown in 2 weeks if not more, on the downside that means that when I DO have them they're gonna be really bad and just…AUGH I'm pissed and worried and sad and it's all pointless stupid stuff but it's THERE and WHY is my head such an asshole why are my boyfriends PARENTS such assholes why can't I and WE be left alone??? I mean I know why but let us gain some TRUST
Don't worry girl! It can all get better. I get what you mean about random worries and fears that I don't need to be afraid about (I get social anxiety often) and I get what you mean about your head being an asshole (every once in a while I get random depressing moods and it's like wtf brain). What I'm assuming about the whole can't be left alone thing is you guys can't be alone in a room or the house together, so maybe try (if you both have apple phones) FaceTiming (and if you guys don't) just calling each other in general so ya'll can talk alone and for FT still see each other. I would suggest confiding in someone in your personal life (probably your bf) about your mental issues and talk through everytime a breakdown happens. It really helps me to talk to this one person I'm really close to whenever I'm feeling real down/bad.
See I've done all that. We. Are not virgins. His mom found out and he leads a busy life. We've been banned from face timing eachother but we constantly text and call. Last night crying in his arms felt good. I felt safe. But I'm still worried. And just really tired a lot. I didn't want to really get our of bed this morning but I did. Mostly cause I'm hungry.
I'm so sorry there's nothing else I can do for you. Otherwise, my PM's are open. Much love to you always <3
u mean to tell me u aren't allowed to ft bc u have had sex
Yes. Cause phone sex ma dude. His parents are hella strict
