forum Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)

Started November 14, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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Alright, thanks for the advice!
*turns and walks over to the mirror*
There's more to life than romantic attraction and I hope you'll learn that someday, Karen

I'm happy you feel cupioromantic suits you, but I do want to introduce you to the words demiromantic and grey-romantic. It's possible that one day you will experience romantic attraction, but you definitely sound like you're on the aro spectrum. Demiromantics and grey-romantics can experience romantic attraction, and most want a romantic relationship, but they don't often feel it, or only feel it in special circumstances. It's difficult for them to get crushes, but still possible. But you know you best, and if you predict that you will never experience romantic attraction under any circumstances, then cupioromantic sounds like the fit for you :)

I’m demi and I’ve only had one crush

_{then i had a “dude fuck these feels” and told him and now he’s my boyfriend so those of you who do have a crush, don’t be a coward like him (who also had a crush on me) and tell your crush. It’s better to be rejected than not find out!}

Hmmm, I think that either of the ones that Owen said sound more accurate than Pickles' (sorry Pickles). I think I could definitely experience romantic attraction at some point, I'm just super picky.

I had something that vaguely resembled a crush in kindergarten, but I also thought I was Ruby from Max & Ruby at the time, so that's not the best time to judge.

I kinda told my therapist about the anorexia thing today so uh
Yeah
I definitely downplayed it, but like

YES

FUCKING

YES

GREAT JOB

So that's a thing now
My parents were already forcing me to eat more food after my doctor said she was "very concerned about my weight" so like
Hopefully they take it well? He probably won't use the word anorexia
I'm guessing he'll just say to keep doing what they're doing
But I really hope I don't have to have a long conversation about it :)))
I really don't want tooooooo

I'm so proud of you Maddie <3

Great job Maddie! I'm so proud of you.

_<3

Good job fren!
That makes me really happy-

Oh my goodness, that's wonderful, Maddie! I know how hard it can be to tell people about things like that, and we're all proud of you.
_{it's so awkward addressing someone else as maddie bc that's my actual name}

Yesterday I felt nauseous all day and today I have a cough so things are not looking good

I have a sore throat today and a really awful pain in my mouth
I think it's a canker sore but it hurts a lot and I hate it.

Oh fuck I have some sores in my mouth too

yeah i have a sore in my mouth too
its really annoying cause its at the back of my mouth
and it literally is always touching something
and thus, always irritated
makes it rly hard to eat/speak too

hahaha hi I'm back literally just to get this out
my best friend lives half an hour away
and I just want to see him again
I haven't seen a single friend since school got cancelled in March
"hOw ArE yOu GoInG tO gEt ThErE?"
I can't drive, mom, you know that
So I was hoping you'd take me
"i'M nOt dRiViNg 30 MiNuTeS, tElL HiM tO cOmE hErE"
so, because you're too lazy to drive half an hour so I can spend a day with my best friend whom I haven't seen since February…
let's force him to come down here.
His mom doesn't want him to come to our town until our covid cases are down.
and maybe I'm just being a dramatic teenager but it really feels like my mom doesn't fucking care
about me in general
Either that, or she's just stupid
with all due respect, mom, you've seen what a cat scratch looks like, right?
so when my entire thigh is covered in scabbed-over cuts,
how the fuck are you gonna believe the cat did that, and then proceed to tell me my antidepressants are fine and refuse to let me go to the doctor to get them adjusted???
how are you going to spend 24 hours of the day talking about yourself and your job and your workout class and your coworkers and the walk you went on today and how sore you are and how tired you are and shit
I am exhausted just from putting up with you
I wish I was making this shit up
I talked to her for about an hour today and when we were done I was so tired and out of energy I went to my room and literally cried because I was too drained to move, eat, or drink
how are you literally going to admit you don't like me being right after I ask you why you always try to prove me wrong?
I am literally afraid to talk to you. And I'm not afraid of much. most people are afraid of me.
I've written three suicide notes in the past week, and the majority of each one has been about things that you said to me.
I'm exhausted. I'm pissed. I'm done.
I'm so done.

anyway, I'm going to go write.
hope y'all are doing okay.
tbh I don't miss you.
shrug
hope y'all don't miss me either.

i do not like myself sometimes
everything's so conflicted and i hate it

~this has been mini rants with ella, tune in next time to hear me call myself pathetic for the 4000st time

i do not like myself sometimes
everything's so conflicted and i hate it

~this has been mini rants with ella, tune in next time to hear me call myself pathetic for the 4000st time

Oof, mood-

i'm really disgusted with me cause i somehow managed to eat way more calories than i usually do in a full day all in one side dish which is a big Not Good
but at the same time i don't know why i care so much about not eating when every other action i take is to try and make myself seem less attractive out of fear
seriously what the heck
on a good note though this is my 200 day streak of actually paying attention to what i eat and usually doing good with it so i'm proud of that at least
oh and my drawing is going good so far and that makes things better

Ooh what side was it?

baja mac & cheese from panera. it was pretty tasty

Mmm I love Panera!
I recommend the Greek salad