R: …so she went to see a gynecologist-
A: Wait what's a gynecologist?
R: Its when people stick dentist tools in your private parts.
A: Oh.
…
…
…
D: Did you floss?
Vagina dentata?
Never heard of that before. Now I know.
"Pair it with red lips and a low bun, get that Audrey Hepburn vibe. Pair it with jeans, channel those Steve Jobs vibes. Equally fashionable."
Frickin love Audrey Hepburn vibes. I would wear that if I could pull it off.
The thing is
You probably could
Really? Including the lipstick?
Just add a little bit of lipstick to give them a POP
I wore some the day I watched Hamilton, but only a tiny bit that I don't think Mr. Cooper noticed. Mikayla had some lying around so…
Dude Dom you would slap in some makeup tho
Fr??? That's low-key awesome to hear.
"here's your meatless chicken B I T C H"
"…this is a bag of feathers"
"EXACTLY"
"Just…your BALLS."
"Use your baaaallsss!!"
“British bingo three times in a row is kind of a weirdchamp..”
"Wash your hands."
"What are you, the CDC?"
"you do you. follow your dreams. if you want to stand on a dragon egg, you stand on a dragon egg"
"I'll have this soap flavoured candy, please."
"i like the turned on microwave"
"NO! You can't just KILL John Wayne Gacy!"
"These could fit, well, not an iPad, but like two Chipotle burritos"
"But you'll know that the electrical tape is purple."
"I'm gonna vamboodle your car"
"…?"
"I forgot the word for graffiti so my brain was just like vamboodle"
"Lots of annoying people."
"More like high crime."
"Lots of annoying people. Doing crimes."
"Chonky phone"
"industrial fanny pack"
“I’m passing on to the afterlife man”
"When you fell yesterday, I thought you were joking and then I remembered you're not funny."
"if you don't show the cleavage, then dan will make you leaveage"
"SLAANESHMAS IS FUCKING DEAD DEAD"
"yeah i bought my friend nipples"
~ some dude probably named steve
"Don't let the pickle drive the bus…I have realized my mistake-"