forum Please let me critique characters!!! [CLOSED - SORRY!]

Started May 20, 2020 by @CinnamonRoll

tune

All right, @Nerdy_Theater_Kid, let's do this!! Top down on Ramona…

I'll admit I don't remember much from my initial critique, nor do I have the mental constitution to comb through 15 pages of over 350 posts on this thread to find it. (which is a CRAZY AMOUNT) So if I sound redundant, my apologies!!

Nature sheet is generally very solid!! However, I notice a problem that I've been seeing more and more with characters as I become attuned to the issue. Most of Ramona's personality spirals off of one trait: rebellion against the nobles/authority. Her four most developed fields (motives/mannerisms/flaws/prejudices) ALL stem from that trait. As an MC, this kind of boils Ramona down to 'rebel child.' And clearly, she's so much more than that. She wants to lead the army–does she study strategy? Does she like war tactics? Does she sneak away and train alongside the soldiers in the shadows, just out of sight? And she cares deeply about her friends–how does she act around them? Is she calmer, or just a more fun kind of wild? How does she look when comfortable?

Having everything branch from one traits is dangerous for an MC. It can lead to flat characters, so I'd really, REALLY encourage you to explore other sides of Ramona that don't have a basis in her desire to rebel against authority!! Obviously try not to make them clash horribly, but traits from different origin points can still work together very well.

Also, you mention these complicated feelings about being in charge–I think you need to expand on that a LOT. From what I'm reading, Ramona's in danger of developing a bit of a blindspot in her hatred of authority/royals. Obviously, it's herself. In despising the royals, and knowing that she will soon lead them all, Ramona is CRAZY in danger or developing a bit of a superiority issue. I mean, she can do better, right? When she's in charge, everyone will see what they did wrong, what they did to people. They'll have to listen to her. In case you can't tell, if that's not checked by friends or emotional turmoil/strength, Ramona WILL go to tyranny. Might be a tyranny that's good for the common folk–that could be cool to explore!! Squashing the nobles for the sake of the poor. But that's tyranny nonetheless. I'm not saying, "Ah, she will inevitably become a tyrant," but rather, "Without further explanation here, it really looks like she'll become a tyrant."

Backstory is solid, if a touch sparse. I like the Artemis work-around! But unfortunately, I'm not seeing a ton of explanations for why Ramona hates the royals so much. I know they were grooming her to be a proper lady, but if they were doing that in a kind way, where's the negativity coming from? I would go deeper into the actual conditions. Plus, there are things here that I didn't see making a big impact on her personality–outdoorsy, reader. I feel like they were mentioned in hobbies, which is fine, but I would encourage you to give smaller traits like this a bigger impact on her personality type and flaws to balance out that spiral of rebellious traits.

(also, Azalea's Dolls is my happy place)

And that, my dear, is all I have for you!! Again, terribly sorry if I repeated my previous notes. But I hope these new ones are helpful to you and your journey of character development! :DD

Thank you! I will expand on her traits more, but I think her maybe becoming a tyrant could be something good for her to work against, because she is hypocritical in her desire to be in charge. I think most of her hatred of the royals is just from how much she likes the commoners she knows and they feel distrustful of them, but I'll work on it.

Hey, I have another character! She's probably my most developed character and since I'm working on the second draft of the book she's in I want to make sure there aren't any flaws Yllmadaya Aalsyur

Hi everyone!! Round-up time!!

Tonight's critiques are for @Kinarymo and @Fangirl616!!

Tomorrow, I'll critique @tiredandconfused!

@Nerdy_Theater_Kid - Very glad you enjoyed!!! Nothing wrong with her hatred of the royals (they sound kind of mean, ngl) but all I mean is make sure there are other origin points for traits! And I feel SO redundant every time I say this, but I really am glad you appreciate my notes! :DD

All right, @Kinarymo, party time!! Top down on Mahiru!!

(AT LONG LAST THE MAIN ANTAGONIST. YES. in case you can't tell, you're such a regular that I'm far too invested in this story and these characters)

(oh! you're turning 19 in three days??? happy birthday man!!! <3)

So! First issue I encounter is with this idea of 100% loyalty. Everything about Mahiru SCREAMS dominant personality. Cool, calm, collected, controls her emotions, clearly invested in her creations. And under her motivations, there is a hint that she wants to regain her old power, something that I assume is impossible under the thumb of a monarch. So far, I see no indication that this loyalty is an act or a means to an end, which strikes me as confusing.

Next up, I find myself confused over her fixation on her goals. On one hand, she's caused destruction and harm to achieve her goals (am I correct in gleaning that she caused an ACTUAL GENOCIDE). But on the other hand, she controls her emotions and plays the long game under the thumb of some leader. Those are two very clashing ways to achieve one's goals. You could make them coexist with explanation–like, she can only wait so long before losing grip on the long game and turning to wildness. Or she was reckless in pursuit of revenge, but has since dropped that.

Also, I'm a touch confused as to how someone who pushed away all their friends with HEINOUS CRIMES and ACTUAL MURDER can be afraid of loneliness. She wanted the people close to her gone. There's no one left–I popped forward to associations and she has no friends. This one could also work, but only with a deep dive into Mahiru's psychology–which I would LOVE TO READ, by the way. Just. you know. in case.

Backstory is SOLID. Also, the thing with '100% loyalty' is… kind of explained? I would still like to see more, but it makes a bit more sense now. One note. When you say that the guilty ones had paid… how is that? At this point, what is Mahiru getting revenge for–her betrayal by the jealous deities or her defeat at the hands of [cool green eyes Morphidae lad]? If it's the second, great! Makes sense. Kill the whole species. But if it's the first… how do the gods suffer from her choice to wipe out the Morphidae? I doubt they LIKE it, but how does that solidify her revenge?

And that is all I have for you tonight!! Wonderful character as always!! Always feel free to come back, and per the usual, I hope these notes are helpful!! :DD

All right, @Fangirl616, here we go!! Top down on Zenith!!

Oh dear. This is a very solid character. I'm REALLY struggling to find any notes here, so this may be a sparse critique. Very nice job!! I'll do my best to nitpick!

Like I said, VERY small notes here. The first one is an issue in backstory. I understand that a lot of this is based in whump (believe me, I do the same thing) but there are certain things that don't make sense. NOBODY saw this guy, who's shaped like a person, talks like a person, and probably screams like a person, as human? There wasn't a single compassionate scientist in the bunch who was begging the others to use some kind of pain medication? This doesn't need to cancel out any of the prejudice against scientists, nor will it lessen the whump–actually, I find that the raw nature of emotional bonds formed through whump with little actual interaction is GLORIOUS and can deepen the tragedy.

Next up is the self-harm. Now, I am by no means familiar with depression and self-harm, especially not how it relates with PTSD. So if you read this one and decide I have no idea what I'm talking about, please feel free to disregard!! The issue I have with self-harm here is how it could conflict with PTSD triggers. A lot of Zenith's PTSD seems to be medical–strapped to a table, scalpels, the whole thing. With that imagery of scientists slicing into him, how does self-harm not act as a trigger? Right now, I'm confused, but it could be explained–an act of reclamation, perhaps?

Also, before I go, let's talk about his friends. I know that you said on the inside, Zenith is kind and soft, so his friends will want to stay with him. But on the outside, he acts like a prickly asshole. So why do people want to befriend him? What is it about Zenith that makes people WANT to be his friend?

And that is all I have!! Like I said, Zenith is very well-developed, so I'm sorry I couldn't offer more! But in any case, I hope these notes are helpful in some way!! :DDD

@CinnamonRoll ayaaa, i cant express just how glad i am to know you like my characters so much ;-; <3 it means so much to me.
(i updated that name like 3 days ago, so today's the day xd but ty ^^ <3)

Okay so, to be fair, Mahiru is the one character i have most trouble with, from all points of view. I cant stress enough how long it took me to even find something that would let her get out of the "evil for the sake of evil" category even just for a little bit. Even her backstory is not 100% original, its something i found somewhere else and applied it to her hoping it would create a starting point for her to develop something that would fit better. She's the main villain, and one i intend to make audiences care for, but also fear at the same time. If you've read Heaven's Official Blessing, that's the kind of villain im going for - but me and making villains dont really seem to get along :"))

Her loyalty thing was kinda meant to go something like "okay, i dont mind serving this dude as long as he doesnt get involved in something that goes directly against my plans" which is usually the case, because no human king would be able to interfere with her quest (we're talking divine power here). Besides that, she kinda twisted some bolts and screws here and there to focus most of the king's power into her own hand to ensure she would not have issues in the future - the king is more of a puppet at this point. Also, the 'bad' things are kept underground where no one can find them unless actively looking for them - just searching would be hard enough given shes erased most of it, but if one does happen to find any leads, shes swift enough to eliminate any potential threat of exposing her, and she will find ways to cover it up seamlessly.

Im thinking of making her calm down after taking her revenge, so she's cool with working under a monarch cuz it offers her the power to do her things without issue. Now she just needs to make sure no information on her slips out.

Again, she wasnt in a very good place mentally when she did the things she did, so its a case of "shit, i revealed the most evil side of me to everyone, they're gonna hate me now - gotta fix this". I've encountered cases in real life of people who slaughtered everyone close to them out of fear they would be hated for not being the one everyone thought they were. Here's some cases like this. (Thomas Bartlett Whitaker and Jean Claude Romand are very close to what i had in mind). Basically, Mahiru could not live with the idea of people knowing what she'd done, so she just wiped everything and started over - not like she had that many friends left anyway. Of course, not having anyone to rely on anymore did affect her, but she just surrounded herself with new people.

As for revenge, her main target were those who wronged her. Deities in this world arent exactly gods, more like powerful spiritual officials that take care of various stuff and can be replaced. The ones with a bigger role are the Great Spirits, who are like the top 5 most powerful of all spirits (Mahiru once held this title as well but lost it after going berserk and maybe even killing one of her fellow colleagues. Current Great Spirits would include Hanami and the Oracle, who got her spot for being the walking information dispenser she is).
Currently, Morphidae are the only ones still able to call her out but their numbers have been thinned out enough that shes confident enough that she can keep them under control. I did mention she found a way to turn those guys into creatures that serve her, thats why periodically she snatches a few to see what new version of her demon weapons she could make (so far Rin is the best version) but the rate at which she's picking them is often enough for their numbers to decrease steadily, given their birth rate can't keep up with the losses - and you know experimenting is all about trial and error, so you realize she messed up plenty of times before she got things right. She officially carried it too far when she went for the Morphidae prince, fearing he might be capable of taking her on because of his mixed heritage (he has the potential to reach the same level as Hanami and kick her ass for good).
As for the Great Spirits, i havent really thought why they dont just smite her from where they stand - maybe because she is technically on the same level as them and fighting her would make a huge mess. They're not ok with her actions, no, but they dont directly interfere with her either (cant say if its because rules, not wanting to get mixed up in the mess or just not knowing what shes doing because she's so very secretive and careful with her planning.) So far, Hanami is the only one who is taking some form of action against her, through influencing events so her damage is minimized, but im telling you, if she ever pushes him over the limit (which is pretty far giving he's a Morphidae and they have a crap ton of patience with shit like this) he will not hesitate to show up and fight her then and there.

Hoooo boi, this got long :"D Mahiru is one character i would really like to talk about, given she's a villain and i would like to develop her to the extent she feels real and valid - most of the story revolves around her, so i consider her very important and try to give her as much solidity as possible. Any ideas are welcome, really <3 The notes were really helpful, really gave me a few questions to wonder about regarding her, thank you so much yvy <3 ^^ perhaps you might be able to help me develop her further? only if you want :"D

Will you look at Mysteise?: Invalid Character
I'm very different than her so she's kind of hard for me to write about right now.

Would you mind taking a look at Maggie when you get the chance?

All right, @Fangirl616, here we go!! Top down on Zenith!!

Oh dear. This is a very solid character. I'm REALLY struggling to find any notes here, so this may be a sparse critique. Very nice job!! I'll do my best to nitpick!

Thanks! I've been working on him for almost three years now (though I hadn't really gone into depth until about one lol).

Like I said, VERY small notes here. The first one is an issue in backstory. I understand that a lot of this is based in whump (believe me, I do the same thing) but there are certain things that don't make sense. NOBODY saw this guy, who's shaped like a person, talks like a person, and probably screams like a person, as human? There wasn't a single compassionate scientist in the bunch who was begging the others to use some kind of pain medication? This doesn't need to cancel out any of the prejudice against scientists, nor will it lessen the whump–actually, I find that the raw nature of emotional bonds formed through whump with little actual interaction is GLORIOUS and can deepen the tragedy.

That's a really good idea! I could make a minor character who was kind(ish) to him, and that would actually help pieces of his character. Thanks!

Next up is the self-harm. Now, I am by no means familiar with depression and self-harm, especially not how it relates with PTSD. So if you read this one and decide I have no idea what I'm talking about, please feel free to disregard!! The issue I have with self-harm here is how it could conflict with PTSD triggers. A lot of Zenith's PTSD seems to be medical–strapped to a table, scalpels, the whole thing. With that imagery of scientists slicing into him, how does self-harm not act as a trigger? Right now, I'm confused, but it could be explained–an act of reclamation, perhaps?

I… actually hadn't thought about that. I think that maybe it could be partially because of the PTSD that he does it, thinking that because he was treated like this in the past, it means that he can't have a mental disorder- he actually has trouble reminding himself that he is human, and it might work for him to be using the self-harm also to try to prove to himself that he can get over it, because he's strong enough, because he needs to prove that he's more than his past. Thanks for bringing this to my attention!

Also, before I go, let's talk about his friends. I know that you said on the inside, Zenith is kind and soft, so his friends will want to stay with him. But on the outside, he acts like a prickly asshole. So why do people want to befriend him? What is it about Zenith that makes people WANT to be his friend?

It was different for each person. Crystal found out about what happened and decided that she would take care of him. Katsumi went along with it because Crystal is. John is a gay disaster and immediately developed a crush on him. And Jayden just wanted to be left alone, but Zenith got a crush on them and didn't leave them alone until they wound up getting dragged into the mess and now they're stuck there.

And that is all I have!! Like I said, Zenith is very well-developed, so I'm sorry I couldn't offer more! But in any case, I hope these notes are helpful in some way!! :DDD

Thank you so much, it was really helpful! I'll make sure to look into these things!

Hello, everyone!! Here we go, rounding up for tonight…

Tonight, I'll be critiquing @tiredandconfused!!

Tomorrow, it's time for @Nerdy_Theater_Kid and @/ Rory!

@Kinarymo - well happy birthday man!!! Long-game loyalty definitely makes more sense there. I understand the idea behind Morphidae massacre better now, but the revenge-against-the deities components still eludes me. And I would ADORE helping you with in-depth development here!! I have a bad habit of overdeveloping my villains to the point where my MCs look like set pieces, so this is my wheelhouse. I'll be down to respond if you ever want to message me privately!! (just so we don't clog up the thread here if that's okay with you!!)

@Fangirl616 - glad you enjoyed!!! I'm happy I gave you something to think about, even in the midst of such a wonderfully developed character.

All right, @tiredandconfused, time to go top down on - {buffering} - Yllmadaya!!

(it's actually not hard to spell/remember at all, don't worry!!! the first glance just gave me whiplash)

First up, I see a tiny little contradiction: Yllmadaya is both reserved and boastful. Quiet confidence is fine, but boastfulness hints at an element of showmanship that seems absent in Yllmadaya.

And since she's clearly well-developed, this is a bit of a nitpick, but I want to go deeper into her confidence here. She's confident, sure, but it seems like she takes every avenue to reaffirm that–vanity, bragging, etc. She can't even handle criticism due to her ego. Those put together beg the question: is her ego fragile? She needs validation, even from herself, and struggled under criticism. Reading that, I feel like her confidence is more of a front. But given that she's ancient and powerful, how does that gel?

I'm just wondering here–why does Yllmadaya want to live secluded in a forest for her immortal life? I understand that she's pretty grounded, but she's also not really a nice person, who likes messing with people's lives for fun. She's also described as ambitious. How and WHY did she decide "retail in the woods" was how she wanted to spend her life?

Also, um, I just now realized she's a protagonist. Full disclosure: she reads more line an antagonist or some one in the grey area. NOT a bad thing, just something to keep in mind!

Backstory is AWESOME and answers my previous question to some extent! I only have one note, and it's a small one. Why was the Coven of LIFE so against immortality? I get that it had been tried and failed, but if two people could piece it together, how had no one done so before? Was there no one working on it? It's just a touch confusing.

And that, my dear, is all I have for you!! As always, a beautifully developed character–come back around any time!! I hope that these notes are helpful to you!! :DDD

please critique my main character!!! i need as much help as i can get!

thanks!

please critique my main character!!! i need as much help as i can get!

thanks!

@CinnamonRoll yis yis, i was thinking DMs too :D
thank u <3

@CinnamonRoll Thank you! Yeah, Yllmadaya is quite a name but I'm glad you're still able to remember it! Yllmadaya is meant to be a morally gray hero, but I just put her role as protagonist since she's the lead character. I think she does have a genuine ego, I'll change her personality to better reflect that. Yllmadaya isn't entirely secluded, she's about an hour away from a few villages she frequently visits. The reason she made her home in the forest was because it was near a huge magical source. She also thinks that since she's immortal the shop isn't permanent and she'll eventually move on from it. Also, thanks for pointing out the flaws with Yllmadaya's backstory, I probably should have made some points more clear. The Coven of Life denounced Yllmadaya's idea to pursue immortality because everyone who searched for it failed. Many who tried to become immortal suffered dangerous consequences and most scholars were losing hope that immortality was even achievable. The work was easier for Yllmadaya and Kydrei because most of the groundwork had been laid out by earlier researchers and they had access to a lot of those notes, they mostly modified and experimented with the theories. Again, thanks for the critique!

@CinnamonRoll
Hi! Can you please critique my protagonist whenever you can? Thanks sm :))

When you find time could you critique my MC? Thank you!

Hi everyone!! Wow!! Thread's getting busy again and BOY do I love it!! Here's tonight's round-up…

Tonight's critiques are for @Nerdy_Theater_Kid and @/Rory!!

Tomorrow, it's time for @GoldenCreator and @ami_neh!!

Day after that (the 18th) first spot goes to @kilary_arrants!!

@tiredandconfused - Glad you liked it!!! Seriously a cool character, and I'll admit I have a weak spot for morally grey protagonists. :DD

Okay, starting off with @Nerdy_Theater_Kid's Mysteise!! Top down…

Right off the bat, I notice that Mysteise's Nature page is a bit sparse. I'm not going to go off on this, since she's a side/support character rather than an MC, but just be aware of it!! Also, since there isn't a ton here, there are fewer flaws. This nature page is solid but sparse.

There's only one issue with her personality, and it's more an issue of explanation than contradiction. Mysteise is a quiet, cautious, motherly person, but she gets confrontational when she needs to. In Mysteise's eyes, when is this? Is it when her friends are threatened, or just when someone is slightly cruel? She's also labeled as an introvert, which makes it extra important to make this distinction.

Also, even though she's a side character, I don't think I get too much of a feel for how Mysteise IS. The traits currently there are pretty broad-brushstrokes, and can pretty much apply to a LOT of people I know. Since she's a supporter, she doesn't need pages and pages of nuance, but a defining trait or two would really help to make this an excellent support character!!!

Backstory is SPARSE. Even though she's a side character, I would expect a bit of story as to how she met the MCs. I mean, she's friends with a princess–how did that happen? What led to the two of them becoming friends, and what circumstances allowed them to stay together?

Also, backstory combined with nature raises an interesting question. From what I understand, dryads are genetically unable to reproduce. How would that work with Mysteise's dream of being a mother? Is there anything ingrained in them to raise children? Because without the parenting instinct, Mysteise's desire for motherhood is more of an anomaly that needs explanation. It's an AWESOME anomaly, playing on the strength of a mother-child bond and the power that a mother holds, but it does need more backing.

And that is all I can offer you!!! I know it's not a ton, but Mysteise doesn't have a ton for me to work with. (Which is fine!! She's not an MC!! Please never fear!! I wish I could do more but she really doesn't need it!! :D) But if you'd like a round two at any point, you know where to find me!! And as always, I hope that these notes are helpful to you!! :DD

Okay, @/ Rory, party time!! Top down on Maggie…

I've said it once and I'll say it again: there are SO MANY INTJs on this thread!! I'm an INTJ (which you'd literally never guess by reading what I type) so learning that people love iNTJ characters was a whole new sweet sensation.

Anyway!! First impressions are that Maggie is an INSANELY solid character. So most of this will be nit-picking, if I can find anything at all.

First up is actually an overarching nitpick. I'm astounded by Maggie's apparent lack of anxiety. She's clearly self-assured, strong, and narcissistic, but she's also in an environment where people are constantly warping her personality. They push up her vanity and exterior narcissism while pushing down her intellect and clear skill for scheming and manipulation. She's half-valued and half-hated, trying to get away with dozens of lies and now, murder. This is a Lady Macbeth archetype in a murder mystery, which is AWESOME. But a key part of 'strong women, looked down upon by society, rises from the shadows' is the fear. She's in an oppressive environment. If anyone finds out she's been lying and scheming, she's done for socially (and she seems to care about status). And if anyone finds out she KILLED A PERSON, she's done for PERIOD. You said it yourself, she's not totally stable–and I feel like we need to see a LOT more of that, at least on the fringes of her personality.

Also, the idea of Maggie acting out as a child is good, but also slightly confusing. if she grew up 100% in an environment where people told her to put her mind towards ladies' pursuits, why did she ever start doing anything different? To do that at a young age, you'd need an influencer, someone to believe in Maggie and inspire her to act differently. Otherwise, the origin point for her development is a little shaky.

Politics!! I'm shocked that it's empty. A scheming, intelligent woman like Magge would almost CERTAINLY have political opinions. I mean, in modern day I'd pin her as a politician. For someone like Maggie, I would try to do a dive into the politics of the time she's written in. At the very least, I find it helpful to rate each character on a scale of liberal-to-conservative (whatever that means for location+time period). It's a good indicator of openness to change and works for even the most apolitical of characters!!

Backstory is awesome!! Only a couple picky things here. One is to re-iterate what I said about an outside influence a couple paragraphs back. Unless she started acting out as a child, with that influence, it's hard to see Maggie turning manipulative and bitter after her father leaves. If she was pampered to the point where her intellect was suppressed, it seems more likely that she would collapse in despair. Vital plot points are kind of tricky, though, so I can understand why it's written this way. Next up is Katherine. Why was Maggie's manipulation failing to the point where she had to resort to actual murder? This is a skilled chess master who has her whole town wrapped around her finger. Why and how is Katherine eluding her?

And that, my dear, is all I have for you!! It was an absolute JOY to read about Maggie. I love the premise, the story, and even the aesthetic. Thank you so much for coming by the thread and please come back anytime!! But for now, I hope that these notes are helpful to you!! :DD

Okay, starting off with @Nerdy_Theater_Kid's Mysteise!! Top down…

Right off the bat, I notice that Mysteise's Nature page is a bit sparse. I'm not going to go off on this, since she's a side/support character rather than an MC, but just be aware of it!! Also, since there isn't a ton here, there are fewer flaws. This nature page is solid but sparse.

There's only one issue with her personality, and it's more an issue of explanation than contradiction. Mysteise is a quiet, cautious, motherly person, but she gets confrontational when she needs to. In Mysteise's eyes, when is this? Is it when her friends are threatened, or just when someone is slightly cruel? She's also labeled as an introvert, which makes it extra important to make this distinction.

Also, even though she's a side character, I don't think I get too much of a feel for how Mysteise IS. The traits currently there are pretty broad-brushstrokes, and can pretty much apply to a LOT of people I know. Since she's a supporter, she doesn't need pages and pages of nuance, but a defining trait or two would really help to make this an excellent support character!!!

Backstory is SPARSE. Even though she's a side character, I would expect a bit of story as to how she met the MCs. I mean, she's friends with a princess–how did that happen? What led to the two of them becoming friends, and what circumstances allowed them to stay together?

Also, backstory combined with nature raises an interesting question. From what I understand, dryads are genetically unable to reproduce. How would that work with Mysteise's dream of being a mother? Is there anything ingrained in them to raise children? Because without the parenting instinct, Mysteise's desire for motherhood is more of an anomaly that needs explanation. It's an AWESOME anomaly, playing on the strength of a mother-child bond and the power that a mother holds, but it does need more backing.

And that is all I can offer you!!! I know it's not a ton, but Mysteise doesn't have a ton for me to work with. (Which is fine!! She's not an MC!! Please never fear!! I wish I could do more but she really doesn't need it!! :D) But if you'd like a round two at any point, you know where to find me!! And as always, I hope that these notes are helpful to you!! :DD

Thank you! I have a lot of her story in my head so I think I need to actually put it on her page xD

Hey! So I sort of dipped after the last critique, had a bit of writing burnout, but I'm back! So first, I wanted to say thank you for the last critique. Things weren't really coming along with Jason like they did with the rest of my characters, so as soon as I found something that might work I latched onto it and it sort of became his whole personality. So after stepping back for a bit and taking him back down to the bones I think he has more substance now. So anyways, here's the knew and improved Jason 2.0 :D Invalid Character

Hello. If you don't have too much on your plate, I would love it if you could provide some of your god-like insight into my character, Howl: Invalid Character. You don't have to pay attention to her stats if you don't feel like it (trust me, I understand). Just looking and critiquing her as a plain character instead of a player-character would be enough.

Will you critique Nessa? Princess Nessaluna Fangborne Thank you in advance!

Hi, everyone!! This thread is picking up again, and I love it!! Here's tonight's round-up…

Tonight, critiques are for @GoldenCreator and @ami_neh!!

Tomorrow, they go out to @kiley_arrants and @zims (hello again!!)

Day after that (the 19th), both slots are taken by @TheGuardian and @polkadots11 (both new here–thanks for swinging by the thread!!)

@Nerdy_Theater_Kid - Glad you liked it!!! And if you want, I would really like to take a look at that story once you put it down. :DD