forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

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Alune: Don’t test me right now, Takeo.
Takeo: You’re like half my size. What are you going to do? Kick me in the ankle?
[later]
Sana: Um, why is Takeo on the ground crying?
Leaoni: Alune kicked him very hard in the ankle.

Frost (rolling by unsteadily on heelys): JESUS TAKE THE WHEELEY!!
Kallai: Frost no-
Sana: Who gave him those?!
Leaoni: (slowly rolling past on her own heelys).

Frost: Consider the following.
Frost: Seatbelts. Except they throw you out of your seat, and they’re called yeetbelts.

Alune: If you interrupt my reading one more time this book will become a lethal weapon.

Lynn to Alune, Varian and Leaoni: Why is it when something bad happens it’s always you three?
Leaoni: Believe me, professor, I’ve been asking myself the exact same thing for the past six years.

Varian: We're gonna get through this because we have this (points to chest)
Frost: Heart?
Varian: No, me, I'm gonna do this all by myself.

Wren, to Zatian: With all due respect, which is none, go to hell.

Varian: Thanks for agreeing to see me.
Alune: I didn’t, you just barged in here and started talking.
Varian: I don’t need a history lesson, Alune, I was there.

Atsuko: Don’t test me right now, Haruto.
Haruto: You’re like half my size. What are you going to do? Kick me in the ankle?
[later]
Hairi: Um, why is Haruto on the ground crying?
Kazuno: Atsuko kicked him very hard in the ankle.

Minori: We're gonna get through this because we have this (points to chest)
Hairi: Heart?
Minori: No, me, I'm gonna do this all by myself.

Elias: Jay Gatsby's car was a real hit with the ladies.
Perry: I literally know nothing about The Great Gatsby but I know you and with that knowledge I am 500% sure that Jay Gatsby hit some motherfucker with his car.

Cyrus, to The Sandman: With all due respect, which is none, go to hell.

Emmett: Thank you for agreeing to see me.
Jack: I didn’t, you just barged in here and started talking-
Emmett: I don’t need a history lesson, Device, I was there.

Camille: I feel pain
Hunter: That's hate, my foe

Percy, to Lord Arnol: With all due respect, which is none, go to hell.

Felix: I unfortunately found out that Emily saw my secret, so I took the easy step of putting her in jail
Felix, poking a dog cage Emily is in: Are you sorry for your crimes

Felix: Do you miss the imagination of childhood?
Jarrod: I never had one.
Felix: An imagination or a childhood?

Felix: (calls Jarrod)
Felix: hey I hate to be a Karen but I glued myself to the ceiling again

Emily: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are
Felix: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies

Jarrod: You're smiling, did something good happen?
Austin: I can't smile just because I feel like it?
Melissa: Caecilius tripped and fell in the parking lot.

Katie, bad at flirting: I like your name
Chief, equally as bad: Thanks, I got it for my birthday

Jarrod: I like your shirt!
Felix: Thanks (remembers people like bad boys) I stole it (remembers people also like nice guys) from an old man I was helping walk across the street

Knife: If you tear more holes in a net, it would end up having fewer.
Grace: STOP

Knife: (sharpens knife )We've got ways of making people talk.
Knife: (cuts piece of cake)
Bad Guy: …can I have some?
Knife: Cake is for talkers.

Katie: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Knife: Oh, it’s not water.
Katie: Vodka! I like your sty-
Knife: It’s vinegar.
Katie: …What?
Knife: It’s vinegar, pus-

Tess: Who’s turn is it to give the pep talk?
Knife: Grace’s.
Grace: Okay, fuck shit up in there, but don’t die.
Knife: Inspirational.
Grace: See you two in hell.

Katie: Jail’s not fun, I’ll tell you that much.
Chief: You’ve been??
Katie: Once, in Monopoly.

Felix: Oh god, you're bleeding a lot, what do I do?!
Jarrod: Apply pressure.
Felix: Ah, okay, uh—listen, you dumbass, if you don't stop bleeding right now you're gonna die!
Jarrod: Wrong kind of pressure!

Melissa: So, what are you doing for Valentine's Day?
Austin: Sleeping. Sleeping the whole day.

Grace: Aren't you wanted by their government?
Knife: I'm wanted by a lot of people, okay? That's the price of being pretty. And also the price of crime.

Mito: Don’t test me right now, Theo.
Theo: You’re like half my size. What are you going to do? Kick me in the ankle?
[later]
Heli: Um, why is Theo on the ground crying?
Pira: Mito kicked him very hard in the ankle.

Pira: Thanks for agreeing to see me.
June: I didn’t, you just barged in here and started talking.
Pira: I don’t need a history lesson, June, I was there.

Heli: Who’s turn is it to give the pep talk?
Theo: Mito's.
Mito: Okay, fuck shit up in there, but don’t die.
Pira: Inspirational.

Laetus: Oh gosh, you're bleeding a lot, what do I do?!
Heli: Apply pressure.
Laetus: Ah, okay, uh—listen, you dumbass, if you don't stop bleeding right now you're gonna die!
Heli: Wrong kind of pressure!

Mito: Aren't you wanted by the government?
Pira: I'm wanted by a lot of people, okay? That's the price of being pretty. And also the price of crime.

Pira: Welcome to the crew! Please leave you sanity and common sense at the door
Recruits: Won't we be needing those?
Theo: Not anymore

Laetus: Hey, what was the name of the guy we always bump into at the market?
Heli: His dogs' names are Pip and Clementine
Laetus: …That's not what I asked??
Heli: That's the information I have

-

Chan: Consider the following.
Chan: Seatbelts. Except they throw you out of your seat, and they’re called yeetbelts.

Aunty Li to Lucas, Chan and Himari: Why is it when something bad happens it’s always you three?
Lucas: Believe me, Aunty, I’ve been asking myself the exact same thing for the past six years.

Chan: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Lucas: Oh, it’s not water.
Chan: Vodka! I like your sty-
Lucas: It’s vinegar.
Chan: …What?
Lucas: It’s vinegar, pus-

Ren: Dude, you haven't left the house in weeks
Zephyr: Listen, I'm treating my body like a temple
Ren: When was the last time you got off that couch?
Zephyr: You don't move a temple

Emmett to Jack, Love, and The Sandman: Why is it when something bad happens, it’s always you three?
The Sandman: Believe me, Dr. Euclid, I’ve been asking myself the exact same thing for the past four hundred years.

Dally: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Jack: Oh, it’s not water.
Dally: Vodka! I like your sty-
Jack: It’s vinegar.
Dally: …What?
Jack: It’s vinegar, coward.

Minori: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Yuna: Oh, it’s not water.
Minori: Vodka! I like your sty-
Yuna: It’s vinegar.
Minori: …What?
Yuna: It’s vinegar, pussy.

Nikita, to Gail: With all due respect, which is none, go to hell.

Frost: Do you miss the imagination of childhood?
Zatian: I never had one.
Frost: An imagination or a childhood?

Varian: (calls Alune)
Varian: hey I hate to be a Karen but I glued myself to the ceiling again.

Sana: Who’s turn is it to give the pep talk?
Varian: Leaoni’s.
Leaoni: Okay, fuck shit up in there, but don’t die.
Takeo: Inspirational.
Varian: Great! See you all in hell.

Takeo: Hey, what was the name of the guy we always bump into at the market?
Sana: His dogs' names are Spot and Fluffy.
Takeo: …That's not what I asked??
Sana: That's the information I have.

Lynn: You haven't left the house in weeks.
Graham: Listen, I'm treating my body like a temple.
Lynn: When was the last time you got off that couch?
Graham: You don't move a temple.

Anthony: Who’s turn is it to give the pep talk?
Quill: Azzi's.
Azazel: Okay, fuck shit up in there, but don’t die.
Cyrus: Inspirational.
Anthony: Great! See you all in hell.

Abraham: Don’t test me right now, Wes.
Wes: You’re like half my size. What are you going to do? Kick me in the ankle?
[later]
Fantasia: Um, why is Wes on the ground crying?
Dante: Abe kicked him very hard in the ankle.

Kalif: Thanks for agreeing to see me.
Nolan: I didn’t, you just barged in here and started talking.
Kalif: I don’t need a history lesson, Nolan, I was there.

AJ, to Kalif: With all due respect, which is none, go to hell.

Kalif: Pronounces champagne like lasagne
Xavier: Do not.
Quinn: Pronounces lasagne like champagne
Xavier: DO NOT.

Adelia: It's Gerard's birthday today!
Caleb: Oh, happy birthday Gerard.
Adelia, jokingly: He's turning 49.
Gerard: God, it sure does feel like that.
Adelia:
Caleb:
Adelia: He's turning 19.

Crispin: Don’t test me right now, Wes.
Kit: You’re like half my size. What are you going to do? Kick me in the ankle?
[later]
Caleb: Um, why is Kit on the ground crying?
Eva: Crispin kicked him very hard in the ankle.

Brian: Who’s turn is it to give the pep talk?
Jackie: Holly's.
Holly: Okay, fuck shit up in there, but don’t die.
Jackie: Inspirational.
Brian: Great! See you all in hell.

Keyla: Hey, what was the name of the guy we always bump into at the market?
Taven: His dogs' names are Spot and Fluffy.
Keyla: …That's not what I asked??
Taven: That's the information I have.

Andor: (calls Ara)
Andor: hey I hate to be a Karen but I glued myself to the ceiling again.

Harper: It's Beck's birthday today!
Marisol: Oh. Happy birthday, Beck.
Harper, jokingly: He's turning 49.
Beck: God, it sure does feel like that.
Harper:
Marisol:
Harper: He's turning 19.

Quinn: Don’t test me right now, Vince.
Vince: You’re like half my size. What are you going to do? Kick me in the ankle?
Later
Portia: Um, why is Vince on the ground crying?
Talia: Quinn kicked him very hard in the ankle.

Oliver: Who’s turn is it to give the pep talk?
Jon: Therese's.
Therese: Okay, fuck shit up in there, but don’t die.
Darius: Inspirational.
Oliver: Great! See you all in hell.

Anne: Hey, what was the name of the guy we always bump into at the market?
Ginny: His dogs' names are Spot and Fluffy.
Anne: …That's not what I asked??
Ginny: That's the information I have.

Zephyr: It's Vio's birthday today!
Tetra: Oh. Happy birthday, Octavio.
Zephyr, jokingly: He's turning 49.
Vio: God, it sure does feel like that.
Zephyr:
Tetra:
Zephyr: He's turning 25.

Cyrus: Hey, what was the name of the guy we always bump into at the market?
Anthony: His dogs' names are Spot and Fluffy.
Cyrus: …That's not what I asked?
Anthony: That's the information I have.

Peregrine: It's Father's birthday today!
Estella: Oh. Happy birthday, Mihawk.
Peregrine, jokingly: He's turning 70.
Mihawk: God, it sure does feel like that.
Peregrine:
Estella:
Peregrine: He's turning 42.

Micheal: Your tsundere process is mysterious, Lucas

Anthony: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than ‘fuck’.

Quill: Azzi and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us.
Emmet, sighing: What did Azazel do?
Quill: Xe chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and-
Azazel: Who wants a steering wheel?

Poli: I can’t believe you live nearby and won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Vio: You people already know too much about me.
Poli: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

Ellis: How's the most beautiful person here doing?
Poli: I don't know, how are you?
Ellis, flustered: I-
Drinn, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Cyrus: Self care is getting into fights with mysterious strangers in dark alleys.
Quill: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Cyrus: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!
Dally: Self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Cyrus: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Love and Azazel sitting on a bench
Emmett, walking by: Why do you guys look so sad?
Azazel: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
Emmett: Sits down
Love: This bench is freshly painted.
Emmett:
Emmett: I’m going to kill you.

Quill: Have you seen Azazel around here?
Emmett: Ugh, yes. Xe made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
Dally: …It looks fine to me?
Emmett: It used to be water!

Ellis: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Zephyr: Have everyone stand.
Tetra: Bring three more chairs.
Vio: The most important ones can sit down.
Drinn: Kill three.

Varian: I don’t need therapy. I have you guys.
Leaoni: We’re just as fucked as you are! It’s like the blind leading the blind!

Zatian: Oriana. My old arch enemy.
Varian: I thought I was your arch enemy?
Zatian: I have a life outside of you, Varian.

Alune: Why would you fill the first aid kit with Cheetos?!
Graham, bleeding out: I thought it would be funny at the time!

Sana: breathes
Leaoni: You are so precious, smol angel, I love you.
Frost: breathes
Leaoni: Oh my god, fuck off.

Lynn: You made one simple mistake. It’s nothing we can’t fix. Don’t overreact.
Graham, laying facedown in a hole he dug, covering himself with dirt: I’m not.

Alune: You’re making a mistake.
Varian: I prefer to call it an artistic choice.

Leaoni: I accidentally indulged in too much “me time.”
Leaoni: Turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

Therapist: What do we say when someone mistreats us?
Varian: You’re toxic
Therapist: Yes
Varian: -I’m slipping under
Therapist: NO!

Amber: Yeeted.
Sanri: Yote.
Amber: YEETED
Sanri: YOTE
Yasuho, visibly upset: I just wanna know who threw Zepp out the window.

Yasuho: It's dark in here, does anyone have a flashlight?
Zepp: Yeah, just gimme two secs
Zepp: [cracks Quinn's back like a glowstick]
Quinn: [starts glowing]
Yasuho, terrified:

Zen: I had a dream I was in Cuba.
Haru: I had a dream where I was with two hot chicks.
Zen: You were with two hot chicks and you didn't call me?
Haru: I tried, but you were in Cuba!

[phone ringing]
Hime: [picks up the phone]
Hime: Team Atlas, cute one speaking

Vic: Your dad said I have four days to live.
Lilac: You're sick?
Vic: No, he just doesn't like me.

Hime: I told Harper that his ears turn red when he lies, and now I can tell when he's lying.
Amber: What? How??
Hime: I'll show you
Hime, to Harper: Harper, do you love us?
Harper: [covering his ears with his hands] no

Zen: [sees a bee on Haru's arm]
Zen: [rolls up a newspaper]
Zen: [uses it as a megaphone]
Zen: OI HARU THERE'S A FUCKING BEE ON YOUR ARM

Quinn: I'm not mad, I just wanna know why you two have fake IDs
Zen: [muttering]
Quinn: What?
Haru: You have to be 18 to buy fish at the pet store

Zen: What's that Chinese place we went to?
Harper, confused: Uh… China?
Zen: That's the one!

Haru: We're out of eggs again!
Quinn: It's okay, we have cereal
[later]
Haru: [throwing Cheerios at Zepp's house] this sucks

[texting]
Zen: nose
Zen: i typed that with my nose
Haru: heart
Zen: what-
Zen: haru are you okay
Zen: HARU-

Harper: Do you ever just sometimes get the urge to walk into the ocean with the hope that you'll turn into a mermaid in order to escape your deadlines?
Yasuho: Harper, are you okay?