forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

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Jackson: Jail’s not fun, I’ll tell you that much.
Martha: You’ve been?
Jackson: Once, in Monopoly.

(Everyone as tumblr posts)
Half of my respiratory organs are destroyed

What the difference between you and a calendar. Calendars get dates

Bonita: I want to know what this wikiHow is about
Valerie: Is that steven universe?
Sophie: We are the crystal meth

Lucas: how to give a good handjob: bop it, pull it, twist it
Amerly: harder, better, faster, stronger
Noelle: You pull your left hand in, You pull your left hand out, You pull your left hand in and you shake it all about!
Logan: Cha cha real smooth
Blevin: None of you ever touch a penis

you are now one day closer to eating your next plate of
nachos
This is the most hopeful thing I've ever read.
what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos
then tomorrow is nacho lucky day
get out

Amerly: I wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and then scatter human
teeth on their bed
Jacob: A dentist
Valerie: I don't know what your dentist is doing to you but I think you need to go to the
police

Dawn: This one time in 6th grade these three girls would bully me and call me a landwhale so instead of just taking it I put cigarettes in all of their purses and went to the counselor fake crying saying I was "worried about my friends dying of cancer" and they all got suspended and two of them got pulled out of the school by their moms

Lucas as a parent: slaps football out my teenagers hands
no child of mine is being a jock in this house this is a greaser family

Ava: In elementary school, a deaf girl stole my ice cream and I signed to her to give it back and she closed her eyes...

Kay, making a peace sign: Half of my respiratory organs are destroyed!

Kate: This one time in 6th grade these three girls would bully me and call me a landwhale so instead of just taking it, I put cigarettes in all of their purses and went to the counselor fake crying saying I was "worried about my friends dying of cancer", and they all got suspended and two of them got pulled out of the school by their moms.

Alune: It feels like I'm always saving your ass.
Varian: It's an ass worth saving!
Alune: [long-suffering sigh]

Graham, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Lynn: Other side, Gray.

Frost: You can't run about like a footless chicken.
Alune: It's headless chicken.
Frost: Uh, no, how's a chicken supposed to run around without the head?
Alune: How does it run around without feet?!
Frost: I'm not the chicken, Alune, why are you asking me all these questions-

Varian: The floor is lava!
Takeo: [Helps Sana onto the counter]
Leaoni: [Kicks Frost off the sofa]
Varian: As you can see, there are 2 types of people.

Wren: Just tried watermelon on pizza. Honestly? It was pretty good.
Leaoni: That's him, Officer. That's the guy right there. Take the shot before he gets away.

Cyrus: This one time in 6th grade, these three girls would bully me and call me a landwhale so instead of just taking it, I put cigarettes in all of their purses and went to the counselor fake crying saying I was "worried about my friends dying of cancer", and they all got suspended and two of them got pulled out of the school by their moms.
Anthony: …Jesus Christ.

Dally, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Anthony: Other side, Dally.

Estella, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Peregrine: Other side, Estella.

Luffy: Just tried watermelon on pizza. Honestly? It was pretty good.
Sanji: That's him, sir. That's the guy right there. Take the shot before he gets away.

Sanji: It feels like I'm always saving your ass.
Zoro: It's an ass worth saving!
Sanji: sigh

Nell, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Nich: Other side, Nell.

Alessandra: It feels like I'm always saving your ass.
Percy: It's an ass worth saving!
Alessandra: Sigh

Vic, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Noctune: Other side, Vic.

Vic, asking Lilac out: So, do you wanna go out to eat or something? I'll pay-
Noctune: Yes, officers, that's him. That's the simp.

Jaq: I want to know what this wikiHow is about
Bastian: Is that steven universe?
Morosea: We are the crystal meth

Uzula: how to give a good handjob: bop it, pull it, twist it
Morosea: harder, better, faster, stronger
Prafero: You pull your left hand in, You pull your left hand out, You pull your left hand in and you shake it all about!
Cefora: Cha cha real smooth
Jaq: None of you ever touch a penis

Mito: It feels like I'm always saving your ass.
Pira: It's an ass worth saving!
Mito: [long-suffering sigh]

Heli, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Theo: Other side, Heli.

Chan: Okay Lucas, close your eyes
Lucas: [closes his eyes]
Chan: What do you see?
Lucas: Nothing
Lucas:
Lucas: Chan?
Lucas: HEY! GET YOUR ASS AND MY SANDWICH BACK HERE!

Chan, showing pictures of Ren, Elyas, and Himari: These friends are the ones I call up when I need a shoulder to cry on, or when I need a tub of ice cream. Depending on my mood
Chan, showing pictures of Lucas, Jay, and Zephyr: These friends are the ones I call when I need a death to look like an accident
McDonald's server:

Lucas: I panic when people compliment me. What the heck am I supposed to say when people compliment me???
Himari: Great job on that piece of origami, Lucas!
Lucas, panicking: [dabs] HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Himari:

Elyas: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: Yes
Elyas: Yeah, can I get that without the meal?
Server:
Elyas: Please

Elyas: What happened to Chan?
Zephyr, in a monotone voice: I guess my stunning good looks must have taken his breath away
Chan on the floor: She punched me in the stomach!

Himari: How can you say Lucas is evil? He's the most soft, precious little soul ever!
Lucas, wiping blood off his face: YEAH, I'M FUCKING ADORABLE

Elyas: How do you spell orange?
Chan: The color or the fruit?
Elyas: Fruit!
Chan: O-r-a-n-g-e
Elyas: Thanks!
Everyone else:

Drinn: What happened to Vio?
Ibis: I guess my stunning good looks must have taken his breath away.
Vio, on the floor: He punched me in the stomach!

Cyrus: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: We do.
Cyrus: Yeah, can I get that, but without the meal?
Server:
Cyrus, desperately: Please?

Quill, showing pictures of Elias, Dally, and Anthony: These friends are the ones I call up when I need a shoulder to cry on, or when I need a tub of ice cream. Depending on my mood.
Quill, showing pictures of Cyrus, Perry, and Azazel: And these friends are the ones I call when I need a death to look like an accident!
McDonald's server:

Quill: I panic when people compliment me. What the heck am I supposed to say when people compliment me???
Anthony: Great job on that piece of origami, Quill!
Quill, panicking: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Lavinia: What happened to Cypress?
Oleander: I guess my stunning good looks must have taken his breath away.
Cypress, on the floor: He stabbed me in the stomach!

Martha, showing pictures of Henry, Victor, and Jackson: These friends are the ones I call up when I need a shoulder to cry on, or when I need a tub of ice cream. Depending on my mood.
Martha, showing pictures of Geneva, Kate, and Morgan: And these friends are the ones I call when I need a death to look like an accident!
McDonald's server:

Martha: I panic when people compliment me. What the fuck am I supposed to say when people compliment me?
Jackson: Great job on that painting, Martha!
Martha, panicking: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Tamaki: I panic when people compliment me. What the heck am I supposed to say when people compliment me???
Lilac: Great job on that sculpture, Tamaki!
Tamaki, panicking: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!-

Dollie: What happened to Amber?
Sanri: I guess my stunning good looks must have taken their breath away.
Amber, on the floor: They stabbed me in the stomach!

Lilac: How can you say Sanri is evil? They're the most soft, precious little soul ever!
Sanri, wiping blood off their face: YEAH, I'M FUCKING ADORABLE

Noctune: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: Yes
Noctune: Yeah, can I get that without the meal?
Server:
Noctune: Please.

Dollie, showing pictures of Zepp, Tamaki, and Lilac: These friends are the ones I call up when I need a shoulder to cry on, or when I need a tub of ice cream. Depending on my mood.
Quill, showing pictures of Amber, Sanri, and Luca: And these friends are the ones I call when I need a death to look like an accident.
McDonald's server:

Leaoni: What happened to Varian?
Zatian: I guess my stunning good looks must have taken his breath away.
Varian, on the floor: She punched me in the stomach!

Graham: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: We do.
Graham: Yeah, can I get that, but without the meal?
Server:
Graham, desperately: Please?

Frost: Okay Takeo, close your eyes.
Takeo: [closes his eyes]
Frost: What do you see?
Takeo: Nothing.
Takeo:
Takeo: Frost?
Takeo: HEY! GET YOUR ASS AND MY SANDWICH BACK HERE!

(hi, it's me again with more stuff from my friends and I.)

Rowan: It's got to be more dramatic, Adeline!!

Adeline @ very flirty clients: Get off my husband, you little shit.

Young Fortune: I'm a child and I'm disgusting. If I were twenty I'd kick myself.

Persimmon: I've accepted my fate as a bottom.

Bellamy, after watching Fortune put a Funion in water and drink it: I refuse to accept your reality.

Aster: Sometimes I say things and then I wonder, "Why am I considered the stable one of this group?"

Quicksilver: We should all be simps for good grammar.

Adeline at Rowan: 'I don't make sexual comments, you just take them out of context' THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE WHEN YOU'RE LYING!

Fortune: Sure my brother was an accident, but I was a mistake

Rowan, at the Chief of Police: I don't like you. Let it be known.

Shaedum the Bloodless: You call it 'immortality', I call it 'procrastinating on death'

Anthony: Sometimes I say things and then I wonder, "Why am I considered the stable one of this group?"

Quill: We should all be simps for good grammar.

(More Discord shenanigans)

The Sandman: I am your worst nightmare.
Cyrus: My worst nightmare's Canadian geese, try again bitch.

Dally, in the group chat: Merry Christmas! 🐲
Anthony: What's with the dragon?
Dally: I was gonna send a Christmas tree, but then I saw the dragon right next to it and it was objectively way cooler.

Azazel: Oh, actually, I'm in a polyamorous relationship!
Quill: You're dating a polygon???

Anthony: I have several questions.
Cyrus, taped to the ceiling: I can assure you I can answer none.

Jack: You can't have witnesses if they're dead.
Cyrus: That's a cool trick!

Darnell: How to do I top my grades if I'm a bottom

Mavis: I am your worst nightmare.
Jax: My worst nightmare is Canadian PSAs, Try again you little shit

Jane: Sure my brother was an accident, but I was a mistake
Axel, from hell: Oh, Jane, you're not a mistake… You're a regret

Valerie: How can you say Insato is evil? She's the softest, most precious little soul ever! WAIT IS THAT A DEAD BODY
Insato holding a corpse: Don't worry, It's a Sakamaki, no one will miss him

Elise: Great! It's a book about drugs!

Aaron to Charlie: Anyway, the Gates of Hell are that way. See you.

Mavis: Even though I'm not potty trained, I'm way smarter than you guys.

Imogen: Sometimes I say things and then I wonder, "Why am I considered the stable one of this group?"

Victor: We should all be "simps" for good grammar.

Beck, completely unprompted: My worst nightmare is Canadian geese.

Jackson, in the group chat: Merry Christmas! 🐲
Henry: What's with the dragon?
Jackson: I was gonna send a Christmas tree, but then I saw the dragon right next to it and it was objectively way cooler.

Oberon: I have several questions.
Robin, taped to the ceiling: I can assure you I can answer none.

Talia: You can't have witnesses if they're dead.
Lyra: That's a cool trick!

Varian: I may not be the hero you wanted,
Varian: or really the hero you needed,
Varian: but everyone else was busy, so.

Leaoni: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Graham: They do.
Leaoni: …why do you say that with such certainty?

Varian: Does my hair look good?
The cop taking his mugshot: Please stop asking.
Varian: But It's important.

Frost: And once again, Frost and Alune save the day!
Alune: You didn’t do anything.
Frost: We're a package deal, everyone knows that.
Alune: No, we're not-

Takeo: I mean it’s crazy. We finish each others -
Sana: Sandwiches!
Takeo:
Takeo: You ate my sandwich? My sandwich!?

Varian: Maybe if we wait just a little bit longer a fuck will fall into my hand, and I can give it to you.

Alune: I have several questions.
Varian, taped to the ceiling: I can assure you I can answer none.

Wren: We should all be simps for good grammar.

Kallai: Sometimes I say things and then I wonder, "Why am I considered the stable one of this group?"

Nich: Does my hair look good?
The soldier taking his mugshot: Please stop asking.
Nich: But It's important!

Geneva: Maybe if we wait just a little bit longer a fuck will fall into my hand, and I can give it to you.

Beatrice: Sometimes I say things and then I wonder, "Why am I considered the stable one of this group?"

Caleb: Everything ok, Gerard? You seem a bit distracted today.
Gerard: Yeah, I'm just a bit distracted today.

Andor: Hey, sorry I'm late. I just overslept.
Ara:… until 5pm?

Caleb: Why are you sad?
Gerard: I don't know.
Caleb: So just for no reason?
Gerard Oh no there are plenty of reasons. I'm just not sure which one it is this time.

Farli: Do you want some tea?
Keyla: What are the options?
Farli: Yes or no.

Gerard: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Adelia: You and me!!
Gerard, tearing up: Okay.

Andor: Would you take a bullet for me?
Dallas: I'd take a bullet for anything at this point.

Crispin: If you ever feel safe please remember that I’m out there :)

Holly: What’s your name?
Andor, whispering to Ara: Can I tell them my real name?
Ara: No!
Andor: I’m… Ara Azaryan
Ara, whispering to himself: The ONE TIME he gets my last name right…

Ara: I have several questions.
Andor, taped to the ceiling: I can assure you I can answer none.

Dallas: I may not be the hero you wanted,
Dallas: or really the hero you needed,
Dallas: but everyone else was busy, so.

Holly: I am your worst nightmare.
Brian: My worst nightmare's Canadian geese, try again bitch.

Garzlan: What happened to Ravina?
Milo: I guess my stunning good looks must have taken her breath away.
Ravina, on the floor: He punched me in the stomach!

Andor: Just tried watermelon on pizza. Honestly? It was pretty good.
Ara: That's him, sir. That's the guy right there. Take the shot before he gets away.

Ellis: Does my hair look good?
The cop taking his mugshot: Please stop asking.
Ellis: But It's important!

Tetra: Maybe if we wait just a little bit longer a fuck will fall into my hand, and I can give it to you.

Zephyr: I may not be the hero you wanted,
Zephyr: or really the hero you needed,
Zephyr: but everyone else was busy, so.

Karma: If you ever feel safe, please remember I’m out there :)

Anthony: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Dally: You and me!!
Anthony, tearing up: Okay.

Byeol: What’s your name?
Varian, whispering to Wren: Can I tell them my real name?
Wren: No!
Varian, panicking: My name is Wren….Alune. Wrenalune, that’s me.
Alune: [facepalms in the background]

Leaoni: Do you want some tea?
Sana: What are the options?
Leaoni: Yes or no.

Alvis: Time is a tool that can stop, rewind, or even erase.
Sophie: You made me die :(

Martha: Do you want some tea?
Victor: What are the options?
Martha: Yes or no.

Casey: Bro, would you take a bullet for me?
Beck: I'd take a bullet for anything at this point.

Kitty: What’s your name?
Tereza, whispering to Tabitha: Can I tell her my real name?
Tabitha: No!
Tereza: I’m… Tabitha Meyer
Tabitha, whispering to herself: The one time someone gets my last name right…