forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Started by @HighPockets group
tune

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@probablypolnareff language

Jin: Hey, what are you doing?
Jay: [silently panicking]
Jin: Were you watching-
Jay: No.
Jin: It's okay, just tell me.
Jay: I was not.
Jin, while running towards the rest of the gang: Guys! I caught him watching ocean documentaries again

Why is this so reminiscent of my friend group

(i have no clue lmao-)

@threesacult group

Ellis: Tetra, you get to play the role of my father.
Tetra: I don't want to be your father-
Ellis: Good, you already know your lines.

[At a restaurant]
Tetra: What's wrong?
Zephyr: [Pissed because the kid's menu came with a picture of a duck but they didn't give them any yellow crayons]
Zephyr: Nothing.

Cyrus: Hey, what are you doing?
Dally: [Silently panicking]
Cyrus: Were you watching-
Dally: No.
Cyrus: It's okay, just tell me.
Dally: I was not.
Cyrus, running towards the rest of the gang: Guys! I caught Dally watching ocean documentaries again!

Drinn: Sorry I didn't text back. Nothing feels real anymore.

@probablypolnareff language

Yasuho: [carrying Hime bridal style, calmly talking to her]
Zepp: [sprinting past them, carrying Quinn over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes while they're both screaming]

Harper: I didn't know you could fly a plane.
Zen: Fly, yes. Land, no.

Harper: Yasuho is a very sophisticated woman. I can't have her thinking I spend all my time hanging with teenagers doing goofy stuff-
Quinn: That's like all you do.
Harper: Yeah, but I can't have her thinking that!

Quinn: Everyone, what color is Harper's shirt?
Zepp: Gray
Zen: Gray
Bara: Gray
Quinn: Uh-huh. Now, Harper, tell them what color you said your shirt was.
Harper: …Dark white.

Harper: And why are you dressed like some kind of space alien?
Anti: You're very observant!

Zen: I heard you like bad boys
Haru: Yeah
Zen, to Harper: Tell him
Harper: He's literally the worst

Harper: Hey guys, guess what I got-
Zen: A girlfriend?
Jay: A real job?
Quinn: A friend your own age?
Harper: No!

[Anti enters Bara's room]
Anti: Murdering time!
Bara: Not today murderer [safely positions her entire body under the covers]
Anti: SON OF A-

Harper: We had to leave at this ungodly hour.
Zen: It's four in the afternoon-

Jay: Zen, did you do your math work?
Zen: Of course
Jay: [loudly] Harper, can you come in here for a second? I need your Rewind abili-
Zen: [trying to escape through the window]

Haru: So, what's the plan? We go in there and just- pow pow pow! And stop the traitor?
Zepp: What was that noise?
Haru: Gunfire
Zen: No, Haru, I think you mean- pkew, pkew, pkew, WOOOOSH, pkew!
Haru: That sounds more like fireworks.
Quinn: Technically, they're more like- Pa-choo, pa-choo, pa-choo!
Harper: Okay, enough with the bad sound effects… Besides, it's more like- blam, blam, blam!

Harper as a child: So, what happens when you die?
Harper's mom: Well, Harper, after you die, you go to Heaven-
Harper's dad: I like to think there's a better afterlife waiting for us all. I once had a pet-
Harper: No, I mean like, what happens when you two die. Do I get all your stuff or-

@Williamnot group

Jarrod: I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck.
Felix: How lucky can they be? They’re dead.

Austin: [sees a little kid crying at the store]
Austin: [crouching down] Hey little guy.
Austin: Can you move? You’re blocking the cinnamon toast crunch.

Felix: [rolling down the car window] What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get the fuck out of my car.

Melissa: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Jarrod: Several traffic violations.
Felix: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Austin: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Jarrod: Also, that’s not our car.

Wolf!Emily:
Felix: So, uh..
Felix: Want a beer?
Jarrod: HE’S THREE
Felix: I DONT KNOW! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER-

Jarrod: Why is there a pentagram on the floor?
Felix: You told me to satanize the place.
Jarrod:
Jarrod: [Rubbing temples] I said sanitize.

Austin: You're obsessed with yourself.
Felix: And you're not??? Sad. Tragic.

Austin: Sorry I didn't text back. I don't care about anything anymore.

Cashier: Do you want a receipt?
Knife, pulling a receipt out of his pocket: Do you???

Caecilius in a depressive mood: Your future self is hating you for the poor decisions you’re making today.
Austin who is always in a depressive mood: Bold of you to assume current me isn’t also hating myself for making the decisions that I am making.

Melissa: Don't do anything stupid.
Austin: You and I both know that's asking way too much of me.

@probablypolnareff language

Zen: Yes.
Harper: Yes, sir.
Zen: There's no need to call me sir, Harper.
Harper: [facepalms]

Harper: Why do people always want me to have sex with them?
Harper: "Please dick me down" go dick yourself down, I'm busy

Anti: [holds up a pig]
Harper: I said we'll make a toast, not a roast-

Harper, at any given moment: SHIT

[phone ringing]
Hime: [picks up the phone]
Hime: Team Atlas, cute one speaking

Zen: Thinking gives me stress, so I stopped doing that.

Zen: Jin sees the glass as half empty, I see it as half full; that's why we make a good team. Harper, on the other hand, just drinks right out of the bottle, Haru wonders why it has to be a glass, and Nuko usually breaks the glass by putting his feet up on the table.

Zen: The doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that I'm dying

Zen: [sees a bee on Haru's arm]
Zen: [rolls up a newspaper]
Zen: [uses it as a megaphone]
Zen: OI HARU THERE'S A FUCKING BEE ON YOUR ARM

Zen, to Harper: I care more about embarrassing you than my own life.

Harper: Where's Zen?
Haru: Doing stuff
Harper: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Quinn?
Haru: Trying to stop Zen from doing the stuff
Harper: And Zepp?
Haru: Trying to stop Quinn so Zen can do the stuff
Harper: And you?
Haru: Distracting you so Zen can do the stuff

@Fairlyodd

Sana: I didn't know you could fly a plane.
Leaoni: Fly, yes. Land, no.

Varian: Alune is a very sophisticated person. I can't have him thinking I spend all my time hanging with teenagers doing goofy stuff-
Leaoni: That's like all you do.
Varian: Yeah, but I can't have him thinking that!

Frost: Hey guys, guess what I got-
Sana: A girlfriend?
Takeo: A real job?
Wren: A friend your own age?
Frost: No!

Varian: We had to leave at this ungodly hour.
Alune: It's four in the afternoon-

Leaoni: Do you want a receipt?
Frost, pulling a receipt out of his pocket: Do you???

Kallai: [holds up a pig]
Sana: I said we'll make a toast, not a roast-

Wren: Thinking gives me stress, so I stopped doing that.

Leaoni: [sees a bee on Alune arm]
Leaoni: [rolls up a newspaper]
Leaoni: [uses it as a megaphone]
Leaoni: OI ALUNE THERE'S A FUCKING BEE ON YOUR ARM!

Varian, to Alune: I care more about embarrassing you than my own life.

Lynn: Where's Varian?
Leaoni: Doing stuff.
Lynn: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Alune?
Leaoni: Trying to stop Varian from doing the stuff.
Lynn: And Graham?
Leaoni: Trying to stop Alune so Varian can do the stuff.
Lynn: And you?
Leaoni: Distracting you so Varian can do the stuff.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Law: Where's Luffy?
Chopper: Doing stuff.
Law: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Nami?
Chopper: Trying to stop Luffy from doing the stuff.
Law: And Azami?
Chopper: Trying to stop Nami so Luffy can do the stuff.
Law: And you?
Chopper: Distracting you so Luffy can do the stuff.

Zoro: We had to leave at this ungodly hour.
Nami: It's four in the afternoon-

Estella: The doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that I'm dying.

Luffy: holds up a pig
Nami: I said we'll make a toast, not a roast-

Baby Peregrine:
Shanks: So, uh..
Shanks: Want a beer?
Beckman: SHE’S THREE!
Shanks: I DON'T KNOW! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER-

Usopp: Law sees the glass as half empty, I see it as half full; that's why we make a good team. Zoro, on the other hand, just drinks right out of the bottle, Sanji wonders why it has to be a glass, and Luffy usually breaks the glass by putting his feet up on the table.

Sanji: Zoro, you get to play the role of my father.
Zoro: I don't want to be your father.
Sanji: Good, you already know your lines.

@threesacult group

Zephyr:
Drinn: So, uh..
Drinn: Want a cigarette?
Vio: THEY’RE FOURTEEN!
Drinn: I DON'T KNOW! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM-

Cyrus, answering the phone: Hecate and Kane PI, cute one speaking

Tetra: You're obsessed with yourself.
Ellis: And you're not? Tragic.

@Consider-PB_and_the_Jellies

Officer Harrison: Where's Cynthia?
Zachary: Doing stuff.
Officer Harrison: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Bridgett?
Zachary: Trying to stop Cynthia from doing the stuff.
Officer Harrison: And Blake?
Zachary: is the stuff
Officer Harrison:
Zachary: he’s being killed, not the other thing

Bridgett: We had to leave at this ungodly hour.
Cynthia: It's four in the afternoon-
leaving school at four pm is an ungodly hour Cynthia

Blake: The doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that I'm dying.

Blake: Is dying
Zachary: So, uh..
Zachary: Want a beer?
Bridgett: HE’S DYING!
Zachary: I DON'T KNOW! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER-

Bridgett: dad (officer Harrison) sees the glass as half empty, I see it as half full; that's why we make a good team. Zachary, on the other hand, just drinks right out of the bottle, Blake wonders why it has to be a glass, Cynthia starts stabbing Blake in the distance and Cynthia usually breaks the glass by trying to kill a fellow peer… WAIT WHAT?!

@Starfast group

Jackie, after sending a selfie to Holly: How do I look?
Holly: You look great. Very demure.
Jackie. I had to google what that meant. Thank you.

Taven: If I had a dasi for every time I thought about you, I'd only have one dasi because you're all I think about.
Keyla:
Keyla, voice breaking, holding back tears: Have fun being broke, idiot.

Andor: Welcome to my very first blog, in which I try different hair products!
Andor: [sprays hairspray into his mouth]
Andor:
Andor: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Milo: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

Milo Don't worry, Keyla, everyone is afraid of something.
Keyla: Even you?
Milo: No.

Gerard: Anyways, I DO actually probably should have to go to sleep right now, unfortunately though.
Adelia: That–
Gerard: That was too many words.

Andor: The doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that I'm dying.

Gerard: Crispin, you get to play the role of my father.
Crispin: I don't want to be your father.
Gerard: Good, you already know your lines.

Ara: We had to leave at this ungodly hour.
Andor: It's four in the afternoon-

@ElderGodSeeba petsbing bing 🐸

(I died. God sent me to hell but I kept trying to seduce the demons so he got fed up and brought me back to life to spite me. I now emerge for season 2)

@ElderGodSeeba petsbing bing 🐸

Craig, sobbing: please just call it toothpaste
Jay: what's wrong with mouth sauce
———————
Dakota: seriously, you don't wanna date me, I'm a handful.
Brook: well I've got two hands!!
Dakota:
Leopold: No he has a point
———————
Jude: I think we need to limit the time Gordie is spending with Herb.
Fraser: What? Why?
Gorden, walking loudly into the room: Rise and grind gamers, let's eat today's ass
———————
Shane, writing: Eric, if you're reading this-
Craig: Can Eric read?
Shane: Memphis, if you're reading this to Eric-
Craig: Can Memphis read??
Shane:
Shane: Colton,
———————
Myer, holding a camera: Chester, you'll play my father
Chester: I don't want to be your father.
Myer: Perfect, you already know your lines
———————
Kiyoshi: Last week I accidently slept with your brother.
Tsuyu: ,,,Really?
Kiyoshi: Unfortunately.
Tsuyu: You accidently slept with Shō?
Kiyoshi: yes
Tsuyu: Accidently?
Kiyoshi: yes.
Tsuyu: w
Tsuyu: did you trip??
———————
Fraser: Alright, come prepared for the match tomorrow, or else.
Herbert: Or else what?
Fraser: Ill break your legs again
Ike: Again???
———————
Myer: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Robin: It isn’t smirking, they're imagining it.
Myer: Three of us saw it, Robby. How do you explain that?
Robin: [points at Willbur] Sleep deprivation. [points at Collyn] Paranoia. [points at Rocky] personality disorder.
———————
Ambition: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Humour: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Ambition: I'm moving out, and I'M TAKING EMPATHY WITH ME
Feste, picking up the monopoly board: I think we should stop
———————
Police Officer: You realize arson is a crime, right?
Jay: Please show me the law that says that.
Police Officer: [pulls up the law]
Jay: I’m not reading that.
———————
Memphis: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Shane: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Memphis: Death isn’t real and I am God.
———————
Kiyoshi: …And of course Shōhei was there, being clingy and annoying like his usual self…
Osana: Why is he talking about Thing 2?
Etsuko: I'm not sure, I asked him about the weather and now we're here.
———————
Feste: can you tell me where I can find Friendship?
Innocence: Yeah. you go straight down there, you turn left, you look for a broken-down, crying old man, and you follow him.
Feste: and he'll take me to Friendship?
Innocence: that is Friendship
———————
Gorden: [throws the ball to Herbert]
Gorden: Alright; now throw it back!!
Herbert: [throws it back]
Gorden:
Gorden: I meant the fucking ball.

@ElderGodSeeba petsbing bing 🐸

(Sighs) Incorrect Quotes MCYT OCs Edition,,,,,

Yume: [under his breath] I’d fuck you,,
Shin: huh?
Yume: [panicking] Uh- I said I’m in love with you!
Shin:
Yume: ,, I kinda wish I had said the other thing now.
———————
Lucy: I would never, not even as a joke, say Corey is a bitch and I don't like him.
Lucy: Corey is a bitch and I like him SO much–
———————
Brendon: I think it would be a good idea if you did this yourself.
Alex: We won't let you down!!
Bredon: you can't, I don't care.
———————
Corey: O-okay, I- uh- have to tell you somethin'..
Lucy: are you finally proposing?
Corey: W- How did you know?!
Lucy: you've dropped the ring three times during our dinner.
Lucy: I even picked it up and gave it back to you once.
———————
Shin: what are yer opinions on kids, Yoomi?
Yume: I don't know. I wouldn't kick one if I saw it.
Shin:
Shin: Yoomi would you kick a kid-
Yume: I just said I wouldn't.
———————
Jamie: [sniffles]
Yume: are you okay?
Jamie: [sniffles again]
Yume: [hugs him] Hey, if there's anything upsetting you, you can always come to me, okay?
Jamie: I have hay fever…
Yume: If you tell anyone about what happened here today I will not be so merciful.
———————
Dallas, texting: I'm sorry I'm going to be half an hour late, something came up.
Dylan, still lying in his bed, forgot they were supposed to meet: you always do this
———————
Shin: Kiyoomi? Have you seen my ice cube? I left it on the table like an hour ago but I came back and it's gone.
Yume: haha, very funny.
Shin:
Yume: Holy shit you're serious.
———————
Corey: [visably upset]
Kye: what would make you feel better?
Corey: [without thinking] Lucy. She makes me feel safe and she's patient and she never yells at me.
Kye:
Kye: Oh wow, you too are pretty close, huh?
Corey: no I lied fuck her she's an ass
———————
Shin: [falls asleep on the couch]
Yume: [affectionately wrapping a blanket around him, kissing his forehead] Goodnight, my dear. You mean everything to me.
[3 hours later, Shin wakes up]
Shin: h-
Yume: Shut the fuck up you waste of oxygen.
———————
Mariah, left alone with a child:
The child:
Mariah: say fuck
———————
Charlie: Good mornin'. What's for breakfast?
Corey: you died. I saw you die, you are dead.
Charlie: deaths just a social construct.
———————
Jamie: [looking out a window pensively]
Tyler: He's so effortlessly handsome, so sensitive, I wonder what he's thinking,,,
Jamie: [internally] Wed-nes-day… whensday? Wendesday??

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster group

Aaron: O-okay, I- uh- have to tell you somethin'..
Darnell: are you finally proposing?
Aaron: W- How did you know?!
Darnell: you've dropped the ring three times during our dinner.
Darnell: I even picked it up and gave it back to you once.
———————
Sophie: what are you opinions on kids, Lucas?
Lucas: I don't know. I wouldn't kick one if I saw it.
Sophie:
Sophie: Lucas, would you kick a kid-
Lucas: I just said I wouldn't.

Elijah: [looking out a window pensively]
Emma: He's so effortlessly handsome, so sensitive, I wonder what he's thinking,
Elijah: [internally] Wed-nes-day… whensday? Wendesday??

Charlie: Good morning. What's for breakfast?
Sophie: you died. I saw you die, you are dead.
Charlie: death's just a social construct.

Elijah, holding on to a crying Claire: You made my sister cry
Dawn: Well, now that wouldn't have to happen if she wasn't such a little bitch

Aaron to Charlie: Anyway, the Gates of Hell are that way. See you.

Mason: Time is a tool that can stop, rewind, or even erase.
Micheal: You made me die :(

Hasuko: Charlie, You're being expelled
Charlie: But I'm homeschooled
Hasuko: You have 24 hours to leave

Jacob: Dad was a… complicated person
Jax: He was a bad person, there's a difference

Mavis: I was born to harvest the flesh of humans… I also like pizza

Micheal: My name is Micheal Kāne, I hope to know none of you and want to avoid conversation as much as possible
Random student: Fuck you >:(

Jax: Hey I was left out too
Matthew: Jax, how long have you been there
Jax: If I told you'd be sad
Charlie: Well I have depression and crave death, try me
Lucas: High five
Jax: Seconded
Matthew: Thirded

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Luffy: Sanji? Have you seen my ice cube? I left it on the table like an hour ago but I came back and it's gone.
Sanji: Haha, very funny.
Luffy:
Sanji: Holy shit you're serious.

Sanji: falls asleep on the couch
Zoro, affectionately wrapping a blanket around him, kissing his forehead: Goodnight, my dear. You mean everything to me.
3 hours later, Sanji wakes up
Sanji: h-
Zoro: Shut the fuck up you waste of oxygen.

Sabo: looking out a window pensively
Koala: He's so effortlessly handsome, so sensitive, I wonder what he's thinking,
Sabo, internally: Wed-nes-day… whensday? Wendesday??

Nami, answering the phone: Straw Hat Pirates, cute one speaking

@threesacult group

Ellis: If I had a nickel for every time I thought about you, I'd only have one nickel because you're all I think about.
Poli:
Poli, voice breaking, holding back tears: Have fun being broke, idiot.

Cyrus: I would never, not even as a joke, say Anthony is a bitch and I don't like him.
Cyrus: Anthony is a bitch and I like him SO much–

Azazel: I was born to harvest the flesh of humans… I also like pizza

Ellis: [Falls asleep on the couch]
Poli: [Affectionately wrapping a blanket around him, kissing his forehead] Goodnight, my dear. You mean everything to me.
[3 hours later, Ellis wakes up]
Ellis: H-
Poli: Shut the fuck up you waste of oxygen.

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster group

Blevin: It's easy, I like to listen to all the loud noise you make together. I grew up very different, my home is very large and very cold and people hate each other quietly. Growing up my only friend was a cow

Charlie: Oh! Surprise it's me, I'm wanting to know how to get dogs to stop chewing on your head
Aaron: Why?! When?! and How!?
Charlie: Preferably now

@HighPockets group

Barry: Frankie? Have you seen my ice cube? I left it on the table like an hour ago but I came back and it's gone.
Frankie: Haha, very funny.
Barry:
Frankie: Holy shit you're serious.

@HighPockets group

Pietyr: It's easy, I like to listen to all the loud noise you make together. I grew up very different, my home is very large and very cold and people hate each other quietly.
Sola: Growing up my only friend was a cow

@probablypolnareff language

Jonah: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen!
Harper: Really? Name one law.
Jonah: Don't kill people?
Harper: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Nuko: [loudly ranting about something]
Kiko: WILL YOU QUIT SCREAMING?!
Nuko: What did you say to me, stronza?!
Kiko: I said stop screaming, assface!
Nuko: [yelling] ARE YOU TRYING TO SCREAM LOUDER THAN ME?!
Kiko: [yelling louder] I AM YELLING LOUDER THAN YOU!!
Nuko and Kiko: [yelling at each other incomprehensibly while everyone vacates the area]

Harper: Zen! What is the ONE thing I told you NOT to do?
Zen: Raise the dead..
Harper: And WHAT did you do?
Zen: Raise the dead…

Harper, to Zen: Sometimes I look at you and wonder, "How can someone be so perfect?"
Harper: And then you open your mouth and that illusion is gone.

Harper: I am not, you fucko
Jin, sadly: I'm not a fucko
Harper: You aren't, I was just mad

Harper: When I said “bring me back something from the beach,” I meant a seashell.
Zen, struggling to hold a seagull: Fucking say that then

Zepp: Talk dirty to me.
Quinn: The dishes
Quinn: You still haven't cleaned them, I have asked you to several times.

Harper: I'm having a child
Jin: Aww, congr-
Harper, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

Harper: Go take out the trash.
Zen: Already done.
Harper: Well, I didn’t see you do that, so- [tosses a full garbage bag at Zen]
Zen: You took this out of the dumpster?!
Harper: Look, don’t worry about all of that!

Harper: Drugs? No, thank you.
Harper: I only enjoy the natural rush I get from murder.

Haru: What’s the first thing you notice when someone tries to approach you?
Harper: The audacity.

Haru: How the hell do I talk to people
Zen: Stand in front of them and press A

@probablypolnareff language

Zen: It’s really muggy out today
Harper: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m going to kill you.
Zen: [sips coffee from a bowl]

Jin: LOOK at these hands!
Jonah: I’m looking at ‘em.
Jin: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH THEM!
Jonah:
Jonah: They’re kinda small.

Harper: Calm down Harper, don’t punch Zen, someday Quinn will do it for you.

Quinn: Your top reasons for getting married?
Harper: Firmly saying “That’s my WIFE!” and knocking someone out in one punch.
Quinn:
Harper: And love.

Quinn: So where is the little munchkin?
Harper: Little? No, you’re watching my son.
Jin: Sup.
Quinn: He’s like twenty years old! What-
Jin: Hey! I’m only nineteen, get it right!

Harper: Can I have these question mark stickers?
Zen: Why?
Harper: I wanna put them on stop signs.
Zen: Harper, NO!

Zen: I wasn’t done talking!
Nuko, walking away: I was done listening.

Zen: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
Haru: Strong.
Zepp: Weak.
Harper: An idiot.

Quinn: I think it’s really nice that Jin feels comfortable enough to go to sleep with you guys around.
Quinn: He looks so peaceful.
Zen, Haru, Zepp, and Harper, pulling out a sharpie: And vulnerable.

@IonizationEnergy

Nolan, sobbing: please just call it toothpaste
Kalif: what's wrong with mouth sauce

Wes: Alright, come prepared for the ritual tomorrow, or else.
AJ: Or else what?
Wes: Ill break your legs again
Lyra: Again???

Wes: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Brooks: It isn’t smirking, they're imagining it.
Wes: Three of us saw it, Robby. How do you explain that?
Brooks: [points at Dante] Sleep deprivation. [points at Jade] Paranoia. [points at Kalif] personality disorder.

@Fairlyodd

Takeo, sobbing: please just call it toothpaste
Frost: what's wrong with mouth sauce

Rose: Last week I accidentally slept with your brother.
Alune: Really?
Rose: Unfortunately.
Alune: You accidentally slept with Wren?
Rose: Yes
Alune: Accidently?
Rose: Yes.
Alune: Did you trip??

Police Officer: You realize theft is a crime, right?
Varian: Please show me the law that says that.
Police Officer: [pulls up the law]
Varian: I’m not reading that.

Graham: I think it would be a good idea if you did this yourself.
Varian: We won't let you down!
Graham: You can't, I don't care.

Sana: What are yer opinions on kids, Kal?
Kallai: I don't know. I wouldn't kick one if I saw it.
Sana:
Sana: Kallai would you kick a kid-
Kallai: I just said I wouldn't.

Takeo: [sniffles]
Leaoni: Are you okay?
Takeo: [sniffles again]
Leaoni: [Awkwardly hugs him] Hey, if there's anything upsetting you, you can always come to me, okay?
Takeo: I have hay fever…
Leaoni: If you tell anyone about what happened here today I will not be so merciful.

Leaoni, texting: I'm sorry I'm going to be half an hour late, something came up.
Varian, still lying in his bed, forgot they were supposed to meet: you always do this

Frost: Kal? Have you seen my ice cube? I left it on the table like an hour ago but I came back and it's gone.
Kallai: haha, very funny.
Frost:
Kallai: Holy shit you're serious.

Marcello: [falls asleep on the couch]
Madam Margo: [affectionately wrapping a blanket around him, kissing his forehead] Goodnight, my dear. You mean everything to me.
[3 hours later, Marcello wakes up]
Marcello: h-
Madam Margo: Shut the fuck up you waste of oxygen.

Alune: Varian! What is the ONE thing I told you NOT to do?
Varian: Raise the dead..
Alune: And WHAT did you do?
Varian: Raise the dead…