How long is his hair? What color of brown are his eyes? Chocolate? Mocha? There are plenty of different shades of brown for people to get confused! I suggest giving him more mannerisms! What does he do when hes nervous? How about when hes scared? When hes confused or even excited? How does he talk to others? I think you should also give him more flaws. One flaw just wont cut it. Is he Paranoid? Obsessive? Indecisive? Egotistical? Disloyal? There are so many flaws for your character to have and yet there is only one! Why doe he hate laboratories and scientists? He used to be a smoker? Like how long ago, hes only 17. Like 15, 16?? Also, what is team 37? His background is a little small. What happened to his mom? Did he have any siblings or friends? Where there any other people in the lab being raised by Rio? Why does he keep him in the lab?
@@NothingHappened871 Well you mentioned that her dad had a child with another women before her so I thought that would be her sister but I may be wrong idk
How long is her hair when its in the braid? Is it to her lower back? Lower? Higher? And what shade of blue is her eyes? There are plenty of colors of blue for people to get confused. Are they navy blue? Sapphire? Ocean blue? Baby blue? Where did she get that wound from and how long has she had it for? No mannerisms??? That is a big red flag! A mannerisms is 'a habitual gesture or way of speaking or behaving.' For example, 'cracks knuckles when nervous' or 'mumbles when she doesn't want to talk to someone' and think like those. Mannerisms are thinks that make people more human! I think you can give her more flaws. Villains and antagonists especially have a lot of flaws. Is she Arrogant? Deceiving? Impatient? Petty? Confident? Untrustworthy? Those are some common flaws villains and antagonists tend to have! No prejudices either? Prejudices are things that make characters more realistic!! A prejudice is 'a preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.' For instance, my villain is very egotistical, her prejudice is 'she believes that she is better than everyone…' and blah blah blah, you get the idea lol. No personality trait either!?! This is for basically summarizing her personality. You've got her flaws down, but no good down! So put down both the good and bad in here! She doesn't have any politics? She's got to have some type of opinion, whether it be she things some laws are stupid or she supports the rebelling group or peoples or something. She can't eat? Why can't she eat now but she used to? Her backstory is kind of… short. Why did she move with her cousins? What was her relationship like with her many siblings and parents? What was her relationship like with her cousins? Did she have any close friends? Any pets? When did she marry this man and who is he? What happened that made her the antagonist? Oh, I noticed something, you mention that her wedding day was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, what changed that??
Anyways, good luck with the characters and the story, hope I helped!! <3
Mmm hes a sneke boi ;o lol. Ooh he has a tennis ball? Interesting. Does he have any more flaws? Is he blunt? Disloyal? Envious? Immature?? No government? How do the people of your world even live??? theres got to be someone around there making rules and telling them what they can and can't do! His background is a bit small. Does he have any friends? Siblings? Idk add some more stuff!
First, Kenshi! He is quite underweight without his armor!! A 6'0 male should be around 160-195 lbs! How short is his hair? Is it buzzed? About normal-ish length? No eye color? Have you just not figured it out yet or is it unknown throughout the story? He has good mannerisms, I just think you should add a few more. What does he do when hes nervous? How does he talk to people he dislikes? What does he do when he is bored? No prejudice? A prejudice is 'a preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.' So for example, hating a certain race because he was told they were bad people, would be a prejudice! Prejudices are important in character development! His background is okay, but I think you should add a bit more! Its pretty small!
Ok, now, Madeline! Wow! She is reallllllyyyy small xD. If she is that small, she should only be like 60 lbs… which I don't think is very healthy for a 27 y/o unless she is literally a midget, so I suggest you look into that. She can still be small and be 4'10 or around there! What shade of pink is her hair? Bubblegum? Pastel? Magenta? And how long is it in the pigtails? To her shoulders? elbows? Lower back? Lower?? No prejudices again? I suggest putting one in! Ehh, her background is also pretty small. Did she have any close friends or pets as a child? What was her relationship like with her parents? Elaborate more on who killed her sister and when.
Good luck with the characters and stories! Hope I helped you! <3
Alright @"Zinnia Beanz", sorry it took me so long, I didn't have time to do it between when I woke up and school
Alright, first, I see she doesn't have any weight. Is that because you aren't sure? The average weight for someone her height is around 120-160 lbs, high up if she is muscular! Good motivations(seems like an interesting story), good mannerisms. In her mannerisms you say she doesn't like to speak and rather would let her actions speak for her, yet you say she is good at speaking in large crowds. I think that if someone would not want to speak, they wouldn't be very good at talking to others from lack of experience. Her royal sword is her favorite weapon, when did her mother give it to her? Right before they were turned into demons or a while before that? Her background is kind of bare. How many siblings did she have exactly? Did she get along with them? Did she have any pets? What was her relationship like with her parents? Did she favor one over the other? Did she have any close friends? If not, were her siblings the only friends she had? I kind of want to know more about what happened when her family was turned to demons and by who exactly! So maybe put some more of that in there.
the story takes place after a nuclear winter and the world is rebuilding itself, Frostwick is in Alaska, and the government is hiding all technology (magic is accessible bc of radiation) because they are afraid of destroying the world again
First, she is a bit underweight. The average female her height should weigh somewhere between 120-160 lbs if they are of average weight and fitness! Her identifying mark is freckles, but where does she have them? On her face? Arms? Shoulders? Everywhere? Her mannerisms aren't exactly mannerisms, more of her personality. A mannerism is 'A habitual way or gesture of speaking or behaving.' So for example, some common ones are 'Bounces legs when nervous,' 'Paces when thinking,' and things like that! Her motivation is revenge, but revenge on what or who exactly? And why does she want revenge? The flaws she has now are okay, I think you should give her a few more though! She only has two, and no one has only two flaws lol. Here is a list of flaws I like to use when creating a character! –https://writerswrite.co.za/123-ideas-for-character-flaws/. Why does she prejudice against combat wizards? What does she honestly dislike about them that make her prejudice them? What happened to the rest of the Carson family and why is she the only one left? Is that who she wants revenge one? Whoever did that? Her background is pretty bare. You don't mention much about her early life, which is all what backgrounds are for! Did she have any siblings? Any pets? What happened in her life that made her so distrusting? What happened to her family? What was her relationship like with her parents and possible siblings? How old was she when all that happened and what did she do afterwards? Any close friends? Why does she want to be a illusionist?
Hope I helped you some! Good luck with your character and story! <3
haha im still a newbie writer, and this has been very useful, i wont be answering this in the character profile, but her parents and town were killed by combat wizards, and thats why she wants revenge, all of that is in my scratchnotes, she is underweight for a reason, and the reason is that she is in an Alaskan-esque habitat, and food is bare sinec the earth has just started becoming habitable, thanks so much for the critique, and i will happily use all suggestions
@Celestial-B I didn't put anything for her weight because I feel no need to mention it, but I suppose she'd be about 180-200 lbs.. As for the good at talking in front of crowds, it's more like she lacks anxiety in front of a lot of people or under pressure, so she can easily give a speech even though she doesn't necessarily enjoy talking. I didn't put in much in her past as not much happened, but I can easily go into more detail. I didn't put much about what happened to her parents with the demons because that happens towards the beginning of the story. I can't really add it to her backstory as it isn't technically her backstory if it happens during the story. I am planning to add a story summary later on about what actually happens in the story.
Thank you for the critiques. I'll be sure to take your criticism into account as I work on her character more.
I've noticed that you are crazy good at critiques, so I'll submit the love interest, Alex. What do you think? Alexander Oliver Thistleton
Deleted user
@Celestial-B Madeline is literally a midget yes. And I chose to keep the killer a secret since that comes into play waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay later on into the story and I wanted to keep some things ambiguous. Thanks for the critique :)
First, how long is her hair when it is in a braid? To her shoulders? Lower back? Higher? Lower?? And where did she get that scar on her arm? The mannerisms she has now are okay, but I think you should give her some more. The two she has right now are kind of small mannerisms. Like, how often does she even get to talk about her enemies to call them that? I think giving her some like raising her eyebrows when she speaks and things like those. I found a thing full of character mannerisms and habits that I use when making my characters! –http://martzbookz.blogspot.com/2011/10/mannerismshabits-for-characters.html. No motivation?!?! But that is like the heart and soul of every character! That is the whole reason for the entire story basically! Why is she doing what she is doing in the story? If your character has no motivation, then I suggest remaking them into a entire new character, sorry for being so blunt lol. Even if its something like 'They want to live a full and happy life.' That is still whats pushing them in the story, to reach their goal! I think you should give her some more flaws, or at least go more in depth with them! No one only has 2-3 flaws! Her prejudice is a bit confusing. How does she like everyone if shes pretending to be nice but she really hates everyone? And why does she hate everyone exactly? Her background is also a little bare, I think you should explain some more things in there!
Hope I helped and good luck!
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