forum "How come you haven't run away from me yet?"//oxo//Closed

Started December 12, 2020 by @knightinadream group

tune

From where she sat, Queen Seohyun glimpsed over at the journal. The excitement from when it was found had overwhelmed her to the point where actually reading it took her to deep disappointment. It is like the crown prince has painted a completely different painting just to hide something. What is it? Why has he been hiding something for the last three years?

She shook her head. The idea of not getting a diagnosis sounded arbitrary in her mind. Then again, a lot of the rumors and other things she has heard are also the same, or at least that's what Her Majesty believes now. But she wasn't convinced that there is just one journal and the rest happened to disappear just in time. It's more than a coincidence.

"It feels as if that journal is not the last one. I believe there are more hidden around the palace grounds," She insisted. "Look through the archives later on today then ask His Highness again this evening."

There has to be a way to get the prince to speak, she knew that, but she was exhausted of having to go through her mind to find a way of doing it. The queen bit her cheek as she pondered. She knew that the crowned prince would find a way out of the questions whether that be through intimidation or another method of his.

"Be assertive by any means," She ordered. "I know it is improper but if we want to find a treatment that will help him the most, let alone the answers to all our questions….we must this method. Do not fall for his tricks of intimidation or flattery. Try to steer away anytime he tries to change the conversation or bring attention to something else. Take control over these sessions."

Looking at Jimin, a soft smile swept across her face. She gave a simple headbow before taking a quick breath. "Thank you, I appreciate you doing this. I know you will continue to do well with this task."

Jimin nodded. “I get that feeling as well. Surely the archives must have something…”
She thought back to last night, when she last questioned Kangdae on the matter. The memory was a bit fuzzy now, muffled by the other events that occurred that night, but she remembered that moment when Kangdae’s eyes flashed red, and Jimin knew he was hiding something. Of course, she could understand why, but better she found those journals and books before the queen or someone else did. But then, why was he so reluctant?
Then Her Majesty seemed to be done with her pondering, unlike Jimin, but she raised her head to bring her attention to the queen’s words.
“Yes ma’am. I admit, it may be difficult,” she said. Especially when I’ve already fallen. “but as always, I will do my best.”
She tried to keep her voice from faltering as she spoke. She wanted to find those journals as much as the queen, but she could not do exactly as she ordered, she knew. Last night was a bit strange at first, there’s no telling how different it will be tonight.
“Thank you, Your Majesty.” She returned the bow. “The task you have given me is an honorable one. I may not have the same formal training as my uncle, but I pray that it is enough.”
These words came out more easily. The desire to make her queen proud tugged at her heart. She remembered the earliest days, when Queen Seohyun was content and whole, her son healthy and her husband still living. It would be wonderful to see that side of her again, even for only a day. Though the smile she gave Jimin was good to see, it was like a mere shadow of that time.
By now, her hands had relaxed in her lap, and now she clasped them together. “Is there anything else? Or shall we end it here?”

The words that Jimin spoken were more than reassuring to her. She only hoped that the process was not too difficult despite not much information being obtained. Queen Seohyun does want to take action, but she is a little hesitant about going about it. At least her court lady seemed to be fine, although she suspected her being uncomfortable or something of the sorts.

There was not much she could gather on her own; given that she isn't even alone till late in the evening. Nevertheless, she tried to watch the crown prince, looking to see if anything from the meetings had any effect on him. While the queen did not see anything out of the ordinary, she was starting to feel as if something was changing with the prince, yet nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"It is more than enough. I am sure you are doing well. So far you have lasted longer than some of the physicians, I have faith in you."

All the other doctors had failed, but she thought that maybe Jimin would make the process of finding a diagnosis and treatment easier. The queen assumed that maybe the prince wouldn't be stressed or as troubling as he usually was. Is this decision working? Her Majesty wonders, but she isn't sure how else to figure that out.

She did not want to dwell on the matter anymore for now. Not when there is much left to do except speculate. Her lips thinned as she gave a simple head shake. "No, there is not anything else to go over for now," She said. "But I have go over to the king's hall since the painter is working on the crown prince's portrait for when he becomes king. Then I have to oversee the plans with Prince Doyun coming home and such. It will be a busy day for us all."

After she spoke, she grabbed her skirts and stood up. It was about time to walk over anyhow, might as well stand up now. The thought of seeing her son yesterday drifted back into her mind. Yesterday she saw Kangdae standing over by the stream, looking at azaleas with a small smile.

A brow rose up as she bit the inside of her lip. "Actually….." She mumbled, turning to face Jimin. "Before we go….I forgotten to ask this, but, have you noticed His Highness acting strange in any way lately? Acting out of his usual brooding manner?"

More than enough. Jimin smiled, but something tempered her pleasure at the queen’s praise. I have faith in you. How could she make Her Majesty proud and keep Kangdae safe at the same time? They were doing what they could, she knew, but something would go wrong eventually. She couldn’t bear the thought of how the queen would react once she discovered her lies.
She nodded, trying not to show a visible reaction to the queen’s words. The crown prince’s portrait? Jimin felt like she really should’ve remembered that, but then again, last night was quite eventful. Seeing Her Majesty stand, Jimin followed her example, and once again had to restrain herself, only softly inhaling. There was an aching, a heaviness she was unfortunately familiar with. She was definitely bleeding now. Thankfully there wasn’t any blood in sight, so best to just ignore it.
For a moment she had to pause to fully register the queen’s question. “A-ah… I’m not sure as to what you mean…” she didn’t expect to be asked something like this. Quickly her mind turned to those first two days, then brought her to last night. “Sometimes… he would get irritated with me, but I suppose it wasn’t unusual, especially in the beginning. He shouted at me, once, but he apologized afterwards… I think…” she paused again, trying to find a good answer that would placate Her Majesty’s suspicions. “I think in the beginning he was more frustrated and irritated, and only now he’s more brooding. He only seemed more tired last night…”
What did this mean? Jimin remembered how Kangdae had truly changed, how different he became between when they first met and last night. He had gone from attempting to get rid of her like the other doctors and physicians to carrying her in his arms. She let out a breath and tried not to grin. Perhaps becoming his lover caused his change to be more noticeable, but it wasn’t as if she wasn’t experiencing the same. Iseul had told her yesterday that she seemed more distracted than usual. Hopefully they could simply be aware of it and try not to act too suspicious.

The queen nodded while listening. Her eyes kept to the floor as she took in each word till Jimin had paused for a moment. Turning her head a little to the left, she looked over, observing the look in the court lady's eyes. Was there something wrong or was her court lady just tired and possibly stressing a lot?

"Tired……" She whispered to herself. The memory of him smiling at the flowers came back to mind again. Now of course, she has also seen him act strangely from being tired for the last three years, but yesterday didn't feel like it was the typical reason for his behavior. He was standing still on his own. Baek Myung was standing a good distance away from the crown prince as he tilted his head and sighed with a grin.

Queen Seohyun sighed as she lowered her chin for a moment. A few moments passed by where she didn't say anything. Thoughts ran through her mind. She tried to stop some of them, but she ended up shaking her head.

"Ahh….I see," She said. "I was wondering if anything has changed in him for the better or worse. It must just be my worries given the time frame."

Lifting her chin up, she walked over towards the door. Before asking for the servant outside to open it, she turned back to face Jimin. "Let us end it here for now. The rest of the court ladies are waiting outside. It is time we go to the king's hall now."

Facing the door again, she asked for it to be opened. It didn't take much time to hear it creak open. She gave Jimin a smile before walking out into the hallway.

“Of course,” she muttered, nodding and following the queen out. Her Majesty seemed relatively satisfied with her answer, and that’s all Jimin could ask for. She folded her hands in front herself, her mind getting distracted again. Perhaps she should take a moment to go and relieve herself soon, and that way she could really see if she was bleeding or not. But when? Ah well, she supposed she would have to wait until a good opportunity arises.
Out in the hall, she murmured quiet greetings to some of the other court ladies before they made their way. Whether friends or mere acquaintances, she had gotten to know these ladies over the years and seeing them allowed for some sense of normalcy.
(Hope you don’t mind the brevity)

(It's all good!)

A short moment after, the queen began to make her way over to the king's hall. It took awhile to walk over there, about five to seven minutes or so. And it had been at least a few months since she was last there. The smile on her face had faded at the thought of it. Having her son being in the king's spot gave her a bittersweet feeling. The fact that Kangdae was ill too did not make it any better.

In seven minutes they had arrived. The king's hall stood proudly in the middle of the palace, despite a dreary feeling hanging in the air. Queen Seohyun stopped before the stairs. At the door stood Kangdae's servant, Myung, who gave her a soft grin before giving a bow. He turned towards the door and shouted, "Your Highness, Her Majesty is here to see you!"

Queen Seohyun turned and looked at Jimin. "Please come in with me, Lady Hwang," She whispered, before turning back around. Gently, she picked up her skirts and went up the stairs. From there she stopped again till the doors opened. After letting her skirts drop to the ground, she walked in.

Inside, the room was dimly lit. Across from the entrance was the throne that Kangdae sat on. He wore the king's robes; the red silk contrasted with his pale skin. In the middle of the hall there was the painter kneel on the floor before the painting. The rough sketch of the crown prince was there, but the painter began to color the robes red. Kangdae sat still, looking straight ahead.

As they walked to the king’s hall, Jimin could suddenly felt her heartbeat quicken its pace. The realization of what they were doing was slowly becoming known in her mind, and somehow it made her feel as though she shouldn’t be feeling like this, with her heart beating and mind running wild. As if Her Majesty or the other ladies could seeing her heart pounding through her chest and know exactly what is going on. How could they? She asked herself. There’s no reason to feel like this, is there? The butterflies in her stomach, the stiffness in her limbs, too. Jimin attempted to keep her composure.
At the queens whisper, she nodded and followed her example. Once they entered the room, all other thoughts were driven from her mind.
Sitting on the throne, still as a statue and pale as if carved from stone, there he was. Even if the light was dim, it was the kind of light that she was used to seeing him in before. But it was not just the lighting, it was everything else. The way he carried himself, the red robes draped over his form, his statuesque expression. If only she could let her gaze linger on him for longer than a few moments.
But no, it was vital not to get distracted. Jimin let her thoughts return to the queen again, looking to see if there was anything she needed. Despite her resolution, her gaze kept finding its way back to the prince.

Kangdae was not sure what he was feeling this early in the morning. Part of him felt alive while the other was sinking into a pit of nothingness. Tensing up his shoulders, he let out a gradual and gentle sigh. Sitting on the throne made him feel powerful, but it was rather boring with the hall being so quiet. His mind was wandering back to last night, yet it made him eager about seeing Jimin; he worried his eagerness and excitement will cause trouble from them.

When the door opened, his eyes shot up, staring across from him. Seeing his mother walk in, he only looked back at the painting till he heard someone else walk in. His hand twitched as he watched Jimin walked in. It tensed up at the sweet familiar aroma. The room must have lit up when she stepped through the doors, or at least, that is what he thought. Still, he forced himself to relax and glanced away.

The queen softly smiled as she bowed. Her eyes squinted while watching him carefully. "Good morning, Your Highness," She said, walking over to the left side of the painter. "Do you feel any better than before?"

For a while, there was silence. Kangdae internally struggled with trying to keep so much at bay while figuring out an answer to give to Her Majesty. Then he took note of the painter, who was focusing on the details on the robes. He sighed, "No. Not really."

Glimpsing over at Jimin, Queen Seohyun nodded. "Ah, but do you feel any worse?" She added. Watching him shake his head, she grinned. "Good….good. I am going to continue with our plan, hopefully a remedy will be found soon."

"Wonderful," He whispered under his breath. The expression on his face was lighter than usual. It took him awhile to notice. Even then, he still managed to steal a brief glimpse of his beloved.

Jimin was quiet, bowing after Queen Seohyun and trying not to stare at the prince for too long. Her gaze fell somewhere below his face whenever she looked at him, unable to look at him straight in the eyes. The situation amazed her, in a way. Only last night they had held and kissed each other, and now, in the presence of others, they must act as mere acquaintances. The last time she, the queen, and the prince had been together rose up in her mind as well, and she could only hope this time would turn out better.
The moment he glimpsed her, their eyes met. There was a pang in Jimin’s chest as she half expected him to speak to her. Not here. Not now. She wasn’t in the right state of mind to react well to being put on the spot. What could she say if even either of them spoke to her?
But then, why would they speak to her anyway? she thought. This was a conversation between them. Jimin reminded herself to breathe and relax, to pretend this just a normal part of her day. That she was in the presence of the crown prince, not Kangdae, her lover.

Never did he expect for something as simple as to not look at someone being this difficult. Whenever Jimin is in the same room as him, his eyes just naturally look towards her. Anytime they did, he thought back to last night and was reminded how eager he was for it to be night again.

With all the might he had, he forced himself to stare down at the floor. His hands gripped the insides of his robe sleeves. Somehow his face remained to be the same neutral expression, despite him biting the inside of his bottom lip.

Meanwhile the queen turned to look down at the painting. A few minutes went by as her eyes scanned every little detail they could. The corners of her lips turned up into a faint smile. "Finally…." She whispered to herself. After her whisper, she squinted while looking at the eyes on the portrait.

"Do the eyes look odd to you?" She asked. "They look rather intimidating yet conflicted. King Yunho's are more soft, and so are the others…." The painter paused for a moment, putting his brush down into its holder. He paused, tilting his head before getting up and bowing at the queen.

"They are the way His Highness's looked like as I painted them," The man answered. He turned wearily to look at the crown prince, who was giving him a cold expression. Gulping, he slowly bowed then turned to Queen Seohyun. "I must go on break to give the paint a moment to dry…..I also need more paints that I forgot to bring with me."

In a swift second, she noticed Kangdae before the prince changed his face to be more gentle. Softly, she sighed to herself then smiled at the painter. "Ah, I see….Well, perhaps would you like to look at His Highness's father's and grandfather's for inspiration then?" She asked.

While walking back over towards the door, she leaned over to Jimin and whispered, "Do watch him like always. I will be back as soon as I can." Queen Seohyun then left the hall with the painter following beside.

Kangdae eventually relaxed a few moments later. He rubbed his forehead then let his hand drop onto his lap. A small grin appeared on him as he looked across at Jimin. "Something feels off, and so did last night….Do you feel better? Are you sick?"

The queen’s voice brought Jimin out of her thoughts, and she was suddenly aware of the painter and his portrait. Upon laying her own eyes on it, she could see what the queen meant about the eyes being intimidating. It rather reminded her of the first night she met the prince, in a way. Of course, it may not do to look like that for the royal portrait. Jimin felt a twinge of sympathy for the painter, but couldn’t help but prefer the real thing over the painting.
She nodded in reply the queen and watched her go, almost afraid to turn back to Kangdae too quickly or face a long stretch of awkwardness. What could they say to each other now? What could they say that wouldn’t be suspicious, even if they were now alone?
When she did turn back though, she found him smiling. Some of the paranoia withered away. If only the painter had captured that smile, if only it could be immortalized, just as he was.
She touched her hand to her arm, but was unable to tear her eyes away from him now. Upon assessing her state of well-being, she again felt that sense of heaviness in her groin, an aching. Some wetness too. She shivered a little.
“I’m better, yes,” she said, her voice small. “I’m not sick. I’m used to it, that kind of pain. It usually comes and goes for a few days.”

"It comes and goes?" He asked. The idea of such pain being familiar to one coming and going is an odd one to him. It does not explain the stronger than normal aroma. On the other hand, he felt as if he knew what it was. His left brow rose as he tilted his head while pondering.

Kangdae stood up from the throne and began to pace around. With his arms behind his back, he glanced up at the ceiling while in deep thought. Pain that comes and then leaves after a few days, but it does not mean that she is sick. Then there is also the aroma of bleeding that he is trying to ignore. How would one be able to treat such a thing?

He stopped. Holding his left index finger up, he nodded while walking over to Jimin. "Tonight you, my dear, will be under my attention. Through care and affection, I am going to use all of my might in order to alleviate the pain that you have. Do expect that I will not be taking any objections and that this is not an order, but it is simply a matter of priorities," He affirmed. "There will be no way of stopping me and my actions. Absolutely none."

An aching feeling overcame him after he finished speaking. His feet rolled to a stop. Perhaps getting up from his throne was not a good idea for him or her. Even as he was sitting there, every second that passed by where they were staring at each other, the desire to just get up and embrace her was strong. The feeling grew tremendously now.

Shaking his head, he tried to distract himself from his thoughts. He rolled his shoulders back and gave Jimin a wide grin. "There is no need to worry for I am skilled in looking after others," He assured. "And you can relax in my bed. It is very comfortable. My sheets are usually warm too. I can be in there with you too to make it even more comfortable."

She nodded slowly as he paced, then winced at his words. She had said it comes and goes so he would know what to expect and not worry, but it seems that has backfired severely. Although, she wasn’t sure she had the heart to tell him that there was no way he could alleviate this pain for good.
“Y— Your Highness,” Jimin said, because she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to say his name in this setting, “I only ask that you please do not worry so much. The cramping is always worst the first time. I appreciate your care for me, but please know that it will go away in a few days anyway. I will only be more fatigued and in pain sometimes, that’s all.”
And bleeding all the while, but we can’t talk about that, now can we?
But then, Kangdae was a vampire. And therefore, he consumed blood. Perhaps she should let him know that she…
Later. Not now. Later.
She caught his grin, and flushed violently. Nope. No way. Absolutely not. There were multiple things that could go wrong with that. “I don’t think that’s necessary,” she said quickly, dread colliding with desire at the thought. “But thank you for the offer, truly.”

"Ah….I see….," He said. Despite his understanding, he could not manage to let go of his concerns so easily. Pain is still pain, even if it is something normal. And with the current circumstances, Kangdae can only assume the stress that Jimin is experiencing. "I still want to look after you, even if it is just something simple. Put your head on my shoulder or let me pour tea, anything like those two."

Even if it will go away soon, he still wants to do something for her at the least. It doesn't matter to him if it's reoccurring or not, helping in some way is the least that he can do. He will do it now and he will do it countless of times. Cheering her up does sound like a good idea as well. Perhaps he can find a way to without her knowing or make it a surprise; only if his excitement will not make it obvious.

The smell of blood over took him. With a small exhale, his shoulders dropped on their own. A sudden red flash appeared in his eyes before fading away. He turned to look over at Jimin. Should he bring up the smell of blood?

He was distracted by the redness of her cheeks to find an answer. At first, his eyes lit up with fascination while whispering, "My love…" Staring, he remained still for a couple of moments. Kangdae could not help himself. His soul always feels light around her. She is like the sun, but does not burn him at all. A fluttering feeling pressed against him as he kept his head tilted back a little.

The sudden realization of what he said just earlier was finally present in his mind. Kangdae laughed hesitantly while rubbing the back of his neck. His body was stiff. Lowering his chin to the floor, he cleared his throat. "I….I mean that I would rather have you sit comfortably on the bed rather than the floor….I did not mean….Well…I am only offering hugs, but it is up to you what we do. Forgive me for any confusion I had made."

For a moment she didn’t speak, the flash of red in his eyes catching her attention and keeping it there, fixed on his deep, dark gaze. Jimin touched her hand to her cheek, trying to cool it down but still finding it warm to the touch. She could not tear her gaze from him, and felt a little more of her fear melting away. She let her hand drop to her side, her gaze traveling up and down his form, her feet taking her a step closer, taking him in while she could.
Feeling a smile pull at her lips, she sighed. He looked so adorable when he was like this, somehow, when he did not even realize what he had said. Poor thing, he was trying his best.
“I will let you take care of me, certainly,” she said. “I just don’t like seeing you worried, and I don’t want us both to be feeling bad, even if it’s different kinds of bad. Mm, tea would be nice. I was planning to make some today.”
As she watched him, she giggled and covered her mouth. “Oh, you poor thing. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so opposed. There’s no confusion, I’m just afraid…” she trailed off, then sighed again. Maybe their closeness wouldn’t be a problem, but she would hate for blood to leak on the bed. Hopefully by tonight, she could explain herself better than she could right now.

Kangdae stood still, frozen for a few moments. His brows furrowed as he tilted his head. That last thing he said could have been taken way out of context, but he didn't even realize it till then. A long sigh drew out from him as he closed his eyes. Once he opened them again, he looked over at Jimin. Her smile. The pout on his face flattened while his body relaxed. It was difficult to resist the urge to smile back or to glance away from her. Well, it was already difficult to look away from her anyways.

A rush of excitement overcame him, and yet he was not sure why. Must have been something about Jimin letting him take care of her. Not only is it a fair thing to do, but to him, it is the right thing to do. Does he know how to? Maybe. Making sure that she is alright and safe is one of his top priorities after all. He will just have to not get distracted by the smell of….Well he will just not have to not think about it and continue on.

"Ah, I see….Well, I will do my best to not be worried," He promised. "I do not want to make you even more worried, so my central focus for tonight will be to look after you and make you feel better. But anyways, I can have some tea ready for you, if you would like."

Her laugh made him chuckle, but he only did it again after watching Jimin cover her mouth. Taking a step forward, he looked over at the entrance before pulling her into an embrace. "It is alright. There is no need to be afraid, I will make sure that everything is okay and will continue to be. My love, you will have nothing to worry about."

With each passing moment, more and more of Jimin’s anxiety was forgotten. Her smile widened when she saw him relax, glad that moment of awkwardness was quickly put to rest.
As she let her hand down, it brushed against her skirt, and she realized something. Her hanbok had a lot of layers to it, so perhaps it could absorb any blood that leaked through. Perhaps she really didn’t have anything to worry about.
She turned her attention back to Kangdae, chuckling slightly again. “Alright. Either way, I’ll be fine. Ahh, yes, I would appreciate that very much. Ginger tea would be preferable.”
Feeling his arms around her certainly took her by surprise. Her muscles stiffened and ears burned, but she forced herself to wrap her arms around his waist, and soon enough her muscles relaxed. “You— you’re right, it’s silly,” she said, lowering her voice. “Thank you, love. Thank you very much.”
She shifted her gaze to the entrance as well, her paranoia returning. As gently as she could, she squeezed him then pulled away, her fingers lingering on his wrists. Her eyes flitted down to them, little slivers of his cold skin in contact with hers.
“I’m alright with you taking care of me,” she intoned, “but I must warn you that we must discuss my meeting with the queen as well. There are still matters we need to address.”
It was easy then to forget about the aching stirring inside, but as she shifted she could feel it pressing into her. She breathed deeply, making herself go very still so that she might not provoke the feeling again.

The smile on his face faded as his eyes fluttered closed for a moment. He knew that this really wasn't the time to hug her, but he couldn't help it. Hopefully it gave Jimin some relief, even though the stiffness of her body did alarm him briefly.

"I do enjoy the silly things of this world. Only when I hear that laugh of yours do I enjoy them," He whispered. A small trail of laughter left him. "It is my pleasure. I will have the tea ready by the time you walk through the chamber doors."

After she pulled away, his eyes opened. Taking a step back, Kangdae glanced back at her. Lowering his chin, his attention focused on her fingers on his wrists. The warmth. It is a feeling still feels new to him.

For a second, he thought of suggesting of talking about Jimin's meeting with the queen, but he dismissed it immediately. The conversation must proceed with caution. Both of them do not know when the queen will return. Besides it would be better to discuss important matters in a more comfortable setting.

"Right, of course….." He muttered. "Perhaps we should discuss it first thing this evening. I do not want stress to carry over in the time you should be resting and relaxing."

A low hum sounded from her throat at his whispers, their closeness. She allowed herself to get lost in it, if just for a moment. “I’ll be looking forward to it.”
Now she raised her eyes from their hands, though tempted to take ahold of them now that he was close. And so she did, even though her anxiety was steadily rising by the minute. Being close to Kangdae simultaneously made her both scared and comforted, but it was at least better than trying to avoid eye contact with him altogether.
She nodded in agreement. “Yes, thank you.”
The small cramping from before seemed to pass. Jimin glanced the door again. Now she didn’t know whether to stop holding his hands or not. Perhaps she should, but she couldn’t make herself let go.

Kangdae kept his eyes on their hands. Eventually they will have to break away and pretend like nothing happened, but for now, he wanted to appreciate the feeling. The sensation of it. How strange. When he turned, he thought that all feeling had died with his heart. Perhaps it didn't, maybe some of it had stayed with his soul. All things he was not aware of and did not appreciate while his heart was still beating. Although he was happy now, a bittersweet motion filled him. The question of whether or not he appreciated his life while he still had it swirled around in his mind. He hated it. Life, what even is it?

The stern expression that almost took over his face melted away at the moment Jimin took ahold of his hands. She held them ever so gently. He could feel how soft and warm they are against the bleakness of his. Gradually, a soft smile rose. If only it was night, then they would be able to hold hands longer without much stress.

Speaking of which, he was starting to sense the presence of the queen. While she was still relatively far away, she was still making her way back over with the painter and a guard. He did not want to ruin the moment of them holding hands, and yet he also did not want to ruin them and their plan.

Letting go of one hand, he cupped her cheek. His thumb gently rubbed it. He stared intently into her eyes. "Do not worry, my dear. I will make sure everything will be alright," He reassured, smiling. "Let's hang in there till tonight."

As he let go, her hand dropped to her side. Jimin felt his hand on her cheek, and she turned to look at him, relaxing somewhat at his smile. For a moment her eyes settled on those smiling lips, but she sensed his gaze on her so she raised her eyes to meet his. She allowed Kangdae’s cool tenderness to wash over her worry, getting lost in his keen gaze.
Though at his words, she let out a sigh. Was she worrying too much? It seemed that she was worrying all the time, even in the evenings when they were truly alone. Would there ever be a moment where she could truly be at ease? Perhaps a moment like that it happen the previous night, but it seemed so short-lived, looking back.
Well, no. That night was everything. That night was eternity.
She smiled back. Maybe now was a good time to worry at least a little, but she shouldn’t let it take over, especially in the evenings when they were alone.
“Alright. I’ll do my best.” She squeezed the hand she still held, then let it go. “I’ve missed you,” she admitted quietly.

All of his focus washed away the moment Jimin looked up at him. To him, it still felt like the first time she looked at him like that. Oh how lush it is. He does not need a smile or anything. All the gold in the world cannot compare to Jimin and her gaze. The light in her eyes is rich. It is all that he needs.

The words resonated in his hollow heart, making it vibrate softly. Kangdae could not help himself. They do not have enough time, but here he is getting closer to her. He took Jimin's hand into his then placed it over his heart. "I always have been thinking about you and the time we spend together," He whispered.

Leaning in a bit, he kissed the top of her forehead. Just as his eyes fluttered open, they immediately flickered down to her lips. The hand that was caressing her cheek glided down to underneath her chin. Time had begun to gradually slow down when he briefly looked back into Jimin's eyes.

"I know that you will," He cooed, pressing up against her. His eyes traced her lips. "You are as strong as you are sweet." Carefully, he let go of Jimin's hand then placed his on her lower back. Kangdae closed his eyes while his lips got closer….and closer….

He stopped. Opening his eyes, he looked over at the door. Oh heavens… Giving an apologetic look in his eyes, he looked back over at Jimin and then rushed over to the throne. Only a couple seconds passed as he got back into his previous position before the queen walked back in with the painter.

Jimin had assumed he would move away from her after she let go of his hand, but no, here he was, taking hers back again and placing it over his chest. An exasperated sigh nearly slipped from her, but his whispers stole nearly all of her attention. His chest was cool and silent. She didn’t move her hand away.
“Kangdae…” She stilled at his touch, nearly becoming paralyzed. No matter what happened now, she couldn’t pull away. His kiss was like fresh snow, his caressing hand like ice, and yet she did not flinch. She was used to it now, and she welcomed it as he moved closer. His voice was so warm, his breath so sweet. As his hand moved behind her, she became aware of the tension in her back, probably from the cramps. His touch seemed to relieve that tension, if only for a moment. Her eyelashes fluttered as he leaned in, unable to move much else. She was frozen, silently yearning for the unimaginable.
Then he opened his eyes. It all came rushing back, and as he dashed back to the throne, she didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. Either way, she felt the need to be very loud. But she didn’t dare. Oh, they were both utter fools. Jimin felt blood rush to her cheeks and her muscles turn to liquid, but she tried to hide it by looking toward the door and bowing before Queen Seohyun.

I should have went on with it…. Kangdae could not believe what had just happened; how he just abruptly stopped himself right then and there. Never in a million years would he have done something like that. Now he just wants to hide behind the throne and hang his head in embarrassment. If his heart worked, it would have exploded by now. What is he even going to do tonight after that?

He covered his eyes with his hand for a moment, pretending like he was exhausted. Really, he just wanted to keep himself from looking over at Jimin. The urge to go back over was tempting, but with his mother and the painter there, he knew that he shouldn't even be dreaming it.

Silently, he took a deep breath. His eyes followed the painter as he went back to work. The painter picked up his brush then started to fixed some of the little details. Meanwhile, Her Majesty walked a little bit further and gave Kangdae a smile.

"You seem a little flustered, Your Highness," She pointed out. Her head slightly tilted. "Are you feeling a little unwell right now?"

Without looking over, he shook his head. "No, I am alright," He responded, sighing afterwards. "I am just a little tired, Your Majesty, that is all."

Her eyes squinted. She gave the usual Queen Seohyun concerned expression that he knew all to well, but it disappeared in a second as she went back to grinning. "Ah I see, I have told you from the beginning that you musn't stay up too late," She nodded. Turning around, she glanced over at Jimin. "Well, I believe that is all for now. Let us go."

Slightly lifting her skirts, she started to head back over towards the entrance. Just before she left, Queen Seohyun looked over at Kangdae and bowed. Once she took another step, the doors opened then she walked out.

Shaky and slow, Jimin rose from her position. She also avoided looking at the prince, her gaze entirely on the queen instead. Despite that, she couldn’t help but give a subtle shake of her head upon hearing Kangdae’s little excuse. It worked though, and she didn’t do anything else to make it seem like was listening to or participating in any way in the conversation. Her muscles still felt shaky and stiff, but she followed after Her Majesty, bowing to the prince before exiting with her.
She couldn’t think. She couldn’t understand what had happened, only that it did and it was such a close call. All she could do was take deep breaths and act as if nothing had happened at all. She tried her best to cool down her cheeks and ears, but it was always much easier for them to heat up than to cool down.

For the rest of the day, his mind was in another place. It was the usual daytime drowsiness that he experiences. Sadly he was not sure what it was. Along with experiencing so much in the last week or so he never knew, Kangdae felt a little lost. Yet, he could not get over what happened back in the throne room. Even while in studies or listening to the lords, the crown prince was not there. It came to the point where he just stopped his daily activities and went back to his chambers and slept. Or at least, laid in bed and stare at the ceiling while stuck in a deep state of ponder.

The sun was beginning to set earlier than it had last week. As usual, his court ladies came and helped him get into his evening clothes. Myung was there so he was able to ask him to bring over some ginger tea. The servant came back with a tea pot and two cups before going off. Kangdae was left alone for however long till Jimin would have to come over. Hopefully it was enough time to plan and strategize. Oh planning and strategizing, he cannot believe he is thinking of love as some sort of battle.

Kangdae paced around his room. Up and down the walls. From the front of the room to the balcony doors. Since dusk fell upon them now, the tired feeling had left him which is causing him to be tangled in a bunch of nerves. Well, at least they will be going over business first so then they have the rest of the time with each other. On the other hand, he wondered if he can pay attention during that.

It is almost time now. He can feel it. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Once he was somewhat calm, he ambled over to the desk. The azalea was poking out from the book he tucked it into. Sitting down, Kangdae took it out and held it gently. His hand rested underneath his chin as he stared at the flower.

This was one of the days Jimin was actually glad she had work to do, because she could use it to distract herself from whatever else was going on in her mind. So, unlike her love, she threw herself entirely into her work; straightening up the queen’s chambers, managing the tasks of the other court ladies, and even during meals when she had a small break, she would distract herself by going down to the seamstresses and talking to Iseul.
Even when her work had something to with the prince, it worked as a distraction. When she looked into the archives later that afternoon, none of the medical journals turned up. Even with help with some of the lower ranked ladies and servants, she could find nothing. It was suspicious; His Highness’s previous physicians and doctors would not have written down, only to take them away where no one else could find them. And the prince had told her he had no idea where they were. It was clear to her that he had been lying though, and now? Jimin couldn’t really blame him. She would be liable to tell the queen if he told the truth, and that would put him in jeopardy. Should she even ask about them again the next time they see each other?
Or perhaps he had done something to them. Threw them away perhaps, to ensure his self preservation. That would also make sense, and be more effective than simply hiding them away somewhere. So that was the question now. She did not need to know where the journals were anymore.
Additionally, she was already distracted enough by the bleeding and cramps. The pain made it difficult to work and focus sometimes, and she had to steal away somewhere occasionally so she could privately make sure she wasn’t leaking or replace the cloth pads if she needed to. Thankfully, some of the other ladies were willing to lend her pads during emergencies. It was actually them who taught her as a child to deal with these kinds of situations, and that every other woman, even the queen, had to deal with it too. Jimin never had the chance to be taught those things by her mother, and it wasn’t like her uncle was going to do it. Of course, they kept it very quick and hush hush, but as a 12 year old, Jimin was just glad she wasn’t dying.
So when evening came, she was tired. Not sleepy, tired. She just wanted refresh herself from a very draining day, not sleep. But even now, she had business to attend to. So, as she made her way down to the prince’s chambers, she took a breath and mentally prepared, as always. Admittedly, she did look forward to some ginger tea and seeing her love. The pervasive aching in her groin seemed ever-present at this point.
Soon she was at his door. Like always, she took her binyeo and left it with the guards, knocked to announce her presence, then opened the door.

"Ah, I do not know what to do," He mumbled to himself. Kangdae let the side of his head rest on the table as he held the flower up. "Should I try again? I already made a fool of myself….What if there is another interruption? Oh heavens…."

There was that all too familiar aroma again. Somehow he ignored it. The concerns that swirled around in his mind were too distracting. He will admit that he is worried; these are not easy matters to go over after all.

At the sound of the guards knocking, he rolled his shoulders back. Hopefully any sign of embarrassment or weariness will not show in his face. "Let her in," He commanded before quickly tucking the flower back inside of the book. He straightened out his new robes, eliciting any wrinkles he could find. While his love probably will not care about these details, he still wants to look as good as possible for her.

He reached over for the teapot. The handle felt warm underneath his fingertips. Not enough for him to drop it, yet the warmth should be good. By the time he wrapped his fingers around and lifted it, he suddenly sat it down. Perhaps it would be better to do it when she is right in front of him. That way the tea will not be sitting out for long.

The urge to run over and wrap Jimin in his arms filled him when the doors opened. Kangdae beamed watching her walk in. Giving her a head bow, he quietly exhaled. His hands softly gripped at his sleeves though he was relaxed for the most part. Thank the heavens, it is finally his favorite time of the day.