forum "How come you haven't run away from me yet?"//oxo//Closed

Started December 12, 2020 by @knightinadream group

tune

Kangdae glimpsed down at her cheek watching as his finger traced alongside. The warmth under his fingertip made him shiver. It wasn't as warm compared to when she was burning up, but he wasn't used to feeling any heat still nor was he used to feeling the fact that he is so cold too.

Meeting her gaze, he flashed a smile with a nod. The beam did not last for long as he was about to let out another laugh once again. Somehow the fact that kissing Jimin's cheek would make her distracted amused him very much. He forced the corners of his lips to go down, creating a pouty look. Still, he giggled a little as his shoulders bounced up and down.

"Of course that is alright with me. We can go over all the matters running through your mind," he said, "I am assuming you want to come up with another plan for then."

If his assumption was right, he shouldn't come up with a plan like the one from this morning. Something that will still deliver what they want but without leaving anyone in distress. Reluctantly, he let go of her and took a step back. "Before we do, should we sit down? Your feet must be tired from standing and walking around all day."

She watched his expression, and her eyebrows creased with confusion. “What?” His giggles only confused her more, but she found her own grin widening as she watched him.
Taking a breath, she got her expression under control. She nodded, confirming his words, then said, “Oh, I’m not that tired, but we can sit down.”
It was only for a short time, but now it felt strange to not be embracing him. Did it feel longer in her mind? She set the azaleas back on the side of the bed, but she kept the one behind her ear where it was. She then went over and sat down, in relatively the same position as the previous night.
“It’s just another case where I don’t think the same plan will work twice, of course. This morning, you were the one who had something to say, I did not, and that was the flaw, I think. Saying I had made no progress once was stressful enough, but twice?” She shook her head. “So I was thinking this time we wouldn’t have you interrupt us, but I have to say something other than, ‘He didn’t tell me anything.’ I haven’t had the time to really think of anything plausible, though. What do you think?”

"Do not worry, my dearing Jimin," He winked, "You are just so cute and funny, I cannot hold in my laughter."

Watching her set down the azaleas, he tilted his head while staring at them for a moment. His eyes followed Jimin as he walked over. Kangdae sat down in front of her. As she spoke, he let his pointer finger rest on his bottom lip.

"Tell her a half-truth or something that will be useful. Perhaps one true statement then a half-truth, because she is going to expect more than just a simple piece of information." Getting up, he started pacing around the room trying to come up with what Jimin could say to his mother. "I have a strong sense of smell that can detect others far away or any small cuts or scratches on me heal in a few moments. Then you can say I barely have an appetite for anything or refuse to eat cause I can't stomach it."

He hoped that this idea was better. Hopefully it would help them both without any trouble getting in their way. It is not like he can be there in the morning anyways, he isn't even sure what he'd do if he had to interfere and the sun was out. Interrupting the meeting is somethjng he should avoid suggesting ever again.

Stopping himself in his tracks, he thought for another moment. It sounded fine to him. "Does that sound good to you? Might as well actually give Her Majesty something so she can stop worrying for a bit."

Her ears reddened at the compliment, and she wasn’t sure what to say except, “W-who said I was worrying?”
She listened to him, staring down at her lap. Her mind weaved possible stories she could tell with his suggestions. Not only would there have to be more than a simple piece of information, as he said, she would be expecting an entire account. What is happening tonight wasn’t happening. It could’ve started like the other nights. She would’ve have asked the prince a question…
“Perhaps,” she muttered. “It will be hard to top the fact that I told her you didn’t have a heartbeat. But I think I can work with that.” She looked up, giving him a grateful glance. “I don’t know if it will make her stop worrying, but I suppose it’s better than knowing nothing at all.”

It was difficult to resist the urge to laugh a little. So cute. He pointed towards her. "You….or at least that's what the expression on your face and the blood running to your ears is telling me. It's only my assumption though."

Right, he does not have a heartbeat. All Her Majesty needs to hear next is that he drains blood from humans and that's it. Other traits and behaviors are common knowledge on palace grounds at this point. If only she did not tell her about the lack of pulse, he thought to himself. While there is not any use of worrying over it, he still buried his face in his hands for a few seconds.

Kangdae did not say a word, he only stood there after letting his arms drop to his sides. A dry chuckle was forced out of his throat. Something inside told him that even if his mother found out, it wouldn't be better than if she did not know at all. A lose-lose situation on either side for the both of them. "Oh dear….." He sighed, raising his chin to glance up at the ceiling. "You know, I feel as if her knowing is not going to make things better. She is going to find out one way or another and only the spirits above know what she'll do to me afterwards…"

Again, he went back to walking around the room. Stopping at a candle, he put it out then went to another doing the same. The heat from the small flames disappeared within seconds between his fingertips; he felt nothing. "Good," He said, quickly changing the subject. "Let's not fret over anything right now. I know you will do great as always. What next on the agenda?" Turning to face Jimin, he ambled over and sat down. A small grin plastered on his face as he looked at her.

It was only after she spoke that she realized she had not told him what she'd told the Queen on that second day. She cringed slightly at how close she had come to breaking her promise, and she saw him bury his face in his hands, she murmured, "I'm sorry, I did say I would tell her what I knew at the time. But I'm glad we're able to talk about this now, and I'm grateful to have your help."
She did not want to talk about the past just now. It would be much more productive to talk about the future. And yet, she hesitated. Waiting to see how the morning went first seemed better than talking now about what they would do if or when they were caught. That future was too intimidating to speak of. It wasn't just him who would face the consequences of these lies. If or when they managed to find out that she had known who he was and had been hiding information, she would also have to face the aftermath.
She nodded. "It's like I said. This will not work in the long run. But let's do what we can for now, and see how things go tomorrow. However, we should talk about if or when that does happen soon."
She frowned a little when he changed the subject, but it was interesting how quickly this subject seemed wrapped up to her as well. She had a vague idea of what she would say tomorrow and could plan further when she was by herself. That was all she needed. Was that all that had been on her priority list?
She didn't like the way Kangdae smiled at her either, though. It seemed rather forced, but it was understandable. She wanted to move on as well.
Her expression relaxed, trying to match his. "Well, truthfully I don't know. Why don't you tell me about yourself? I know you're the prince, a vampire. But that can't, of course, be all there is to you."

"It's okay," Kangdae nodded, "I understand, although if I were in your spot, I probably would've done the same."

The future….While he cannot know for sure what could happen, it's obvious it isn't going to be good. Though nothing may happen tomorrow or the next day, it wouldn't be a bad idea to start planning for what may happen.

"I do not think everyone will take it well when they find out. We should plan for the worst….." He suggested, his tone becoming quiet. Momentairly, his gaze shifted to the door. The two guards were still there, he could sense them. Suddenly he whispered, "Run away when the time is right. I'll be rest assured knowing you're safe somewhere far away from here."

Kangdae removed his headband and held it in his hands with the front facing up. His thumbs moved out and in feeling the silk. Oh how he used to be excited while wearing it. Now, he ended up frowning and throwing it on the floor. What else is there to him except being a prince and a vampire? Anything about him all goes back to those two things one way or another. It's useless but maybe it's not. Jimin did ask him to tell her something. Whatever he is going to say, it has to be worth some importance. Something worth to use her ears to listen to.

Once again, he stood up. This time he walked over to the other side of the room. He slammed his heel against a floorboard before one end popped up. "Jimin, I am a hypocrite," He said while lifting the board up. Setting it to the side, he picked up a rectangular-shaped box then sat it down in front of her. Inside of it was a little doll, jade ring, several letters, piece of silk, and some journals. He took an azalea from the bed and placed it inside.

"I have a fear of being alone, but here I am pushing everyone away. I yearn to be with someone, but it's useless. All these things, I kept because I thought someday I'd be able to give them to somebody. But we already know what happened and now they're all gloomy warm reminders of the past. I turned into something I feared…a lonely monster, but still I wish I was like you and everyone else. Not just as the crown prince, but as a human, a real one with sincere feelings and a heart that beats."

She crossed her arms in discomfort. Hopefully, it will never come to that, that she would have to run away. He was right, of course, they should plan for the worst, but at the moment the idea that it could be worse enough to run away from seemed very unlikely. Of course, it was still possible. She nodded slowly.
Watching him take off his headband, Jimin's arms fell into her lap, and she wondered if she had upset him with her question. She could understand if he was reluctant to share, but if she told something about herself, why shouldn't he return the favor?
She continued watching him silently, her eyes widening as he took the box from the floorboards and set it in front of her. Taking in the objects inside, it seemed to her that this was rather personal to share with her, even if she'd asked him to. The doll made her think of the one she had when she was small. Who had it been meant for?
"I remember having a doll like that once," she muttered. She looked up at him, smiling sadly. "You still wish it, even after all this time? That sounds like a sincere feeling, don't you think?"
She had the strange, sudden desire to take his hand in hers, to comfort him somehow. But she stayed in place. She was not as bold as he was, she did not know if he even wanted to be comforted.

Kangdae could feel his fingers curl into his palm. Was this odd for him to say about himself? It was rather difficult for him to come up with another thing to say that didn't involve being a vampire or prince. Also, something about being around Jimin, it all feels like there isn't much for him to worry about. He feels safe and warm, if he had the ability to feel such a thing like warmth.

Gazing back into the box, he noticed the doll. After opening it, he did not think much about it till he heard her. Gently picking it up, he examined it then looked back at Jimin. "You did?" He asked, "Did it look like this too?" A bright smile swept across his face for a second till it faded a bit.

Is it really a sincere feeling? He was not sure how to explain it. Here and there, he'd be around other people then suddenly got hit with the wish of being human again. All he can sense is a wave of knowing, wanting to be something he couldn't. His heart is dead, how can it be sincere?

"Despite being able to do what humans cannot do, I still find myself wishing to be one even though it's been a while since I gotten used to this," He answered, while glancing back at the doll. "I suppose it does sound like one, yet I am a little unsure of how it is."

“Ah, not exactly,” she admitted. “This one looks more expensive than the one I had.”
There was a pang in her chest when she caught his smile. She didn’t know why; perhaps because it was so different and bright compared to the expression he wore previously and now, as well as the tone of the conversation. He had a lovely smile, and she wished he wasn’t so solemn now. Why had her question caused him to react like this? It seemed that he felt limited by his vampirism and status as the crown prince, which she could understand, but she very much wished he did not.
“I figure if you feel anything deep inside you at all, then it must be real,” she mused. “I mean, you can’t be the only one has a fear of being alone, even if you experience it differently. And although I wouldn’t know if you are the only vampire who wishes to be human again, but I think…” she trailed off, becoming lost in thought. “Well, I suppose I can’t imagine how it feels. I’m human. I wish I could…” she trailed off again.
She’d been staring at Kangdae’s headband, forgotten on the floor a few feet away, but now she shook her head a little, her gaze returning to the prince’s face. Taking a moment to stretch her legs so they didn’t fall asleep again, she said, “I want to comfort you, but I don’t know how. You look a little solemn. Is there anything I can do?”
Then a thought occurred to her. “Another thing. Do you have any hobbies or things you do in your spare time?” She glanced at the box again. “Writing?”

"Well, maybe it is. My soul is still stuck in my empty lifeless heart and body after all. Humans say that your soul is what gives you feel and meaning to everything. Is that true?" He wondered. "Maybe there are others out there experiencing the same thing as me, but I don't know if they think about being a vampire the same way as I do. You don't have to imagine what it is like, I'd rather have you not to experience it at all."

His eyes gazed down at the journals in the box. Setting down the doll inside, he picked up one of them. He let his finger trace along the spine of the one he picked up. A small laugh left his lips as he recalled the time that he wrote in the brown journal, it had to be around the time he turned. Strange how it feels like that happened ages ago to him.

"Writing is practically all I do in my free time," He responded, "I used to like to ride my horse, walk around the palace, and shoot arrows too, but it's a bit difficult to do those things now in the day. Yet writing is something I can no matter what time of day, it's quite enjoyable too. Do you like to write or are you more of a reader?"

Comfort him, he wondered what would comfort him currently. Even though he does feel a bit odd right now, he stills feels secure and a bit happy right now. Talking like this with Jimin, he never expected being with a human would make him feel so different. Almost as if he was one too in a way.

Kangdae looked down at his hands, noticing the white gloves that covered them. Hesitantly, he slowly started to take off the one covering his left. After he eventually got the glove off, he held his hand out. "Jimin, you already are doing so much. I am so thankful for you," He beamed, "But if you insist, could you perhaps hold my hand? It's too heavy and I think someone strong should hold it. Please?"

“Well, if I could just understand. I don’t have to experience. If I could understand that, then I could understand you better, I suppose. Not that I can’t understand you,” she amended. What was she saying? Even she did not know. She has never said these things out loud. “Ah, never mind.” She shook her head, then looked back at him. “I’m no philosopher, but it has always seemed to me that the soul is simply a metaphysical or spiritual concept that inhabits a physical vessel, giving it life. The vessel and the soul working together, being conscious of one another is what gives them feelings and perceptions and meaning to their circumstance.”
Jimin watched him pick up the journal curiously, then a smile spread on her face when he confirmed her guess. She then tilted her head. “Can’t you do those things at night too? I’ve ridden Bam at night before, when I was young.” She straightened, saying, “But it’s good to hear that you find writing enjoyable. I’m more of a reader myself.”
Indeed, she also felt rather strange at the moment. Maybe because she didn’t feel like she was doing enough. But she had asked Kangdae to tell her about himself, what else did she need to do? But then he goes and tells her of his woes, and she is not sure how to respond. What exactly was she supposed to do? Ah, maybe I’m overthinking this too much. Just relax.
She felt her ears redden. He literally counteracted her internal statement. She was doing so much, not just enough. I am so thankful for you. When was the last time someone said that to her? She couldn’t remember. “I don’t think I’m very strong, but…” Gazing warmly at him, she took his hand in hers. It was good that he was cold, and she was warm. They could balance each other.

Kangdae stared across at her, not being able to get his eyes off her as she spoke. His brows lifted up as he listened. A small gap between his lips opened. At first, he thought he was going to say something, but ended up laughing a little. The laughter only lasted for a few short moments till he knew what to say. "I believe I understand what you're trying to say," He chuckled.

What Jimin said about souls left him in a state of pondering. It all made sense to him, but he was still curious. "What if the vessel is dead, but blood is freely flowing through its veins? How can the soul work without it and still feeling a bit of sensations without the body being alive?" He wondered out loud. That could give some depth to how he feels and why, although it can just end at the fact he's an undead being. And the way to feeling things better is to do what vampires are infamous for.

"Ah, thank you. I'm glad to know my friend likes to read too," He nodded. Glancing up at the ceiling, he thought for a second. "I probably could do those things now, but I am not sure I can without drawing some attention to myself. My horse makes a fuss when I try to get on too. I'm sure he doesn't like me."

The heat from her hand was something that he hasn't gotten used to yet. Every time he felt the warmth, it was he was experiencing the sensation for the first time. It was difficult to not keep himself from smiling as he looked down at their hands.

How can something so simple make him smile so brightly? The sensation reminded him of his own bleakness, yet he pushed the fact aside. "Hmm…I believe you are…" He whispered, "Thank you." Kangdae used his thumb, lightly rubbing it against hers.

His laughter made her smile shyly, but she was quiet, thinking about the other things he said. "Well, I suppose there is a reason why most call your kind unnatural. Perhaps the soul doesn't necessarily inhabit a dead vessel, but maybe in your case, the soul can still control it, like a puppeteer and puppet." She shrugged. "As I said, I'm not a philosopher."
Jimin pursed her lips. "Ah, I suppose that's true. That's too bad, riding at night was, as I remember, quite thrilling."
Despite the cold of his hands, her ears were still red. She didn't know what to say, but she felt like she had to say something. But she didn't. All that mattered was that he was smiling again. How long did he sit with his sorrows, resenting this cursed existence? It must be a long time, because the way he smiled now reminded her of when her uncle's patients were at long last freed from their pain or illness. "Thank you for believing I am," she said at last.

Something about her smile left him in awe. To him, it was like he was staring at jewel when light hits its surface and you can see it shine. If only he was human, he's sure that if he was, his whole face would be covered with heat. He almost missed what she was saying, only because he was distracted by her grin.

"You may not be a philosopher, but you sure do know much more than I do when it comes to being a human and souls, I suppose," He sighed, till he ended up laughing a bit again. "I am only unnatural because they will never know what I am capable of. My soul is something everyone should fear, well, except for one person. I am my own puppeteer, everyone, minus the one, should fear me."

Kangdae had no idea where to look. His eyes kept glancing over to her and then their hands and then back to her again. The look in her eyes is priceless. While the two of them weren't saying a single thing, he could just look into those brown orbs to see the feeling in them. Suddenly, he became quiet as he fondly stared at her hand. Just like the first time they held hands, he could sense a strange feeling looming over him. How such a small thing is making him this way is beyond his knowledge, but he does not want to question it at all. Does Jimin feel this way too?

Immediately, his head titled to meet her gaze. Momentarily, the only thing he could do was nod while grinning. Every single moment now he's becoming more and more speechless after hearing her mellifluous voice.

"I'll always believe that you are…always."

She shrugged. "I've just thought about it a lot." Hearing his comment, she laughed a little with him. "Is your soul, then, something that person can love?"
Unlike Kangdae, Jimin was still, watching him and beginning to feel sleepy. The way he looked at her energized her though, in a way. Though for a moment they ran out of words to say, she didn't feel awkward or nervous. This was a contented silence. Though when he broke it, she didn't mind. His resonant voice washed over her, and she sighed softly.
"Your Highness, you're too kind. I should give you something, in exchange for those flowers." She yawned involuntarily and covered her mouth. "Oh, excuse me."

Kangdae rested his chin on the plan of his left hand as he smiled when hearing her laugh. "They can love it to their heart's content," He cooed, "My body may be cold, but my soul is warm."

At first, he did not think much about her yawning. In fact it took him a couple of seconds before the realization hit him. Did time really go by that fast? He couldn't even tell that it was getting to be so late into the evening. The thought about their meeting being over made his brows scrunced together as his lips pouted.

"Jimin, you do not have to. I'm glad that you like them," He said, then sighed, "Even after these last few days, I forget how it keeps getting late for you. Perhaps we should end it here. May I walk you back to your quarters?"

“That’s good,” she said a little drowsily. “So maybe it is possible.”
Actually, when thinking about it, she wasn’t sure what she could give that he’d appreciate. What did she have? She was secretly glad he didn’t expect anything from her. She didn’t think she was a good gift giver.
“Oh, alright then.” Then she chuckled quietly. “You have no sense of time, do you? Must be nice.”
She pulled up her knee and rested her head on it. She would’ve liked to doze off right then and there, and almost did, but the expression Kangdae made struck her as funny. For a moment her mouth pulled into an amused smile, but his words made it fade.
“Perhaps…” She tilted her head. “There’s no need, Your Highness.” She squeezed his hand, then let go and stood, stretching her limbs. Perhaps time had passed too quickly for her as well. It felt to her that there was more to say…
She took the azaleas, then took the one behind her ear and put it with the rest. She would take these, cherish them, and think of Kangdae when she looked at them, she promised silently.

"It only is till you have to go," He murmured, "With being an undead beast and staring at someone with beautiful eyes, it is really easy to lose the track of time." Spirits, he cannot believe how much he's starting to hate when it gets to be so late into the evening. The thought of the meeting being over already is only leaving him to sit there with a frown on his face. They were having so much fun, he hasn't been this happy for the longest time.

Kangdae stared down at his hand as he took a deep breath. Glancing over at her, he made sure that she wasn't looking when he held his hand to his chest. A smile swept across his face. His hand, it felt sort of heavy for some reason. In a way, it still felt as if she was holding it. Oh how this just bring him so much joy. Much more joy than the thought of having a heart right now.

Rushing over to the door, he held his arms out. "As the crown prince of this kingdom and as your friend, I ask you to not leave just yet. I am concerned about your safety, your sleepiness makes me even more worried," He stated. "Lady Hwang, I simply must cannot let you go, for I have something to tell you. It will help you be more energetic for the walk back, but you must get close to me. Please."

“Mmm, I suppose that’s true,” she murmured. Then a slight blush came to her ears again, and her brow quirked up. “Wait a moment, until I go? You miss me?”
He sounded so solemn, so regretful. It seemed she knew the answer to her question already. Her eyes flickering up from the flowers for a mere second, she saw his hand on his chest before her gaze went to the flowers again. His smile was so soft, yet it was bright, like the moon. Did that simple physical contact affect him that much? It amazed her, despite her sleepiness and knowledge that he rarely touches others anyway. A small smile grew on her lips. A gladness filled her at being able to allow him to feel human again, even a little bit.
She was about to reluctantly say her goodbyes when he rushed to the door. Her eyes widened, but then she laughed, a deep, slow sound tinged with lethargy. It vaguely occurred to her that he addressed her more formally.
“Though I appreciate your concern, there is no need. I will be safe, there’s no need to worry about that.”
But she stepped closer to him, curious. Later she would reflect on how trusting she had been, she had not even asked why he wanted her close when he could have just told her from where she was.

(Aaaaaaaaa-)

Kangdae looked off to the side for a second. Briefly, his face became blank as he processed the question. Suddenly, the left corner of his lip curved. "Yes. Why else would I be so happy to see you then?" His arms dropped to his side. "Lately, I have been starting to hate being alone. I keep staring over at the door too. I miss you already."

He placed his arms behind his back before taking a step towards her. "I cannot determine whether you look cuter while you're sleepy or when you're blushing." Bringing his lips closer to her ear, he whispered, "Don't get too distracted when thinking about me, okay?"

In the corner of his eye, he couldn't resist the temptation to look at her for a second. A small laugh managed to slip out of him. Kangdae quickly placed a kiss on the side of Jimin's cheek then stood back. The heat from it felt like it was burning his cold lips.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he lowered his gaze towards the floor. Was it too early for that? Had it been the right time? Their meeting has ended so hopefully it won't be a distraction for her. Even just one more second with Jimin will make him happy till the next time they meet.

“I thought I had gotten under your skin one time too many to make you miss me that much,” she shrugged.
She glanced off to the side, smiling shyly. Compliments like this were unexpected; she didn’t know what to say. Her eyes flickered back to him as he whispered in her ear.
“What do you mean?” She started to ask, but then she felt the soft coolness of his lips on her skin, and she didn’t really need an answer. Her heart began to pound, and suddenly she was wide awake.
“O-oh.” She blinked, her smile growing. “I… I think that helps.” She chuckled nervously. What was she supposed to do? She had no idea. “I just… I just hope I’m not so distracted that I can’t plan more… for tomorrow.”
It was another moment where emotions were swirling like a thick soup in her mind, and though it was confusing, as least it was positive. Kangdae looked almost timid before her, it was endearing. How endearing to give her a kiss for luck. She just hoped he would not worry too much about her.
Her fingers gently brushed her cheek where he kissed her. She chuckled again. Moving past him and touching her hand to the door, she turned to him and said, “Your Highness, I… thank you, for tonight.”
She tried to soften her expression so she wouldn’t look too happy in front of the guards. Opening the door and taking her binyeo, she made her way back to her chamber. After a certain point, the smile returned to her face as the sweet scent of the azaleas surrounded her.

Kangdae laughed for a second while watching Jimin's response. "Good," He beamed, "I knew it would. Although, I'm taken aback by that smile of yours once again." Briefly his gaze wandered down as he cleared his throat. "You will do well tomorrow, I am sure of it."

His mouth opened but he couldn't find the right thing to say. Desperately, he looked around trying to think of something. Her chuckle sent a shiver down his spine. Is that something normal for a creature like him?

"My pleasure." Without much thought, he took a step closer to the door. A strange ache hit his chest as he watched her go. He tried to hide any traces of a grin but gave up after the door was closed.

Even after the door closed, he stayed there. His smile remained despite sensing her walking farther away from the bed chamber. The sweet scent disappearing, leading him to frown, or at least the iron savory one.

He turned to look over at the box on the floor. Before realizing, he had forgotten about the single azalea he had placed in there. Ambling over, the prince picked up the flower. His smile returned.

With his thumb and index finger, he held the flower up to him. Its smell is so aromatic. Surprising how it piques his interest for being a flower, but it wasn't just the azalea.

Kangdae sat the flower down before removing his gloves. The blood stains still remained. Briefly, he looked around the room. "I'm sorry," He whsipered while looking away from the flower. His eyes lit up red as he stared down at the dark crimson stains on his hand.