forum "How come you haven't run away from me yet?"//oxo//Closed

Started December 12, 2020 by @knightinadream group

tune

Why are you lying to me? she wondered silently. She thought about just checking the archives, but why would he lie about that if that’s where they were? Is he lying simply as a way to protect himself? The information in those journals would be incredibly revealing if the Queen got a hold of them. Perhaps that’s all it is. She sighed, letting it go. For now.
Jimin raised her head in surprise and concern, something like shame creeping up as well. “My apologies, Your Highness, I don’t mean for your court to take any blame, only to explain why you don’t look ill. And besides, you can’t really blame yourself for being assaulted and dying that night. But if you want me to say that you do it yourself, I can.”
Wincing a little at his shout, she felt her eyes getting wet. It had seemed to her that he was too tired to talk or do anything, so she thought it would be best if she gave him space. But her mind drifted to the events of last night, the words he spoke, and she shuddered with emotion. She rose and went over to Kangdae’s side of the bed.
“I’ll stay, I’ll stay,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, I…” her throat closed up. Forcing the emotions to the back of her mind, she started taking deep breaths. Finally she relented. “I’m so tired.”
It wasn’t really to say that she was physically tired. But perhaps she had been stressing herself out just as the Queen had been, not letting herself take a rest or do something to put her mind at ease. Instead she worried. About Her Majesty, Kangdae, the future. Everything. And it was exhausting.

It wasn't long till he began to regret his choice of tone. He wasn't even aware in the slightest of his shouting nor how it could affect her, but now he sees it right before him. His eyes widened watching as she winced. It felt like he stabbed himself in the chest with a stake seeing how her eyes began to look watery.

Kangdae rubbed his forehead, still frowning at himself. He blinked quickly before rubbing his eyes. If his heart was beating like a human's, it'd be in pieces now. Even now, a rare feeling sank in his chest. He curled back his lips as he noticed she was at the side of his bed. Gazing down at his hands, he shifted over to the left a bit.

Reaching over, he gently took her hand into his. As his thumb lightly brushed against hers, he blank. He placed a kiss on it. "Jimin, I appreciate your apology, but you shouldn't be the one to apologize. You've only been looking after others and trying to make everything okay," He said, offering a faint smile.

"You do not have to forgive for anything, but I shouldn't have shouted. I was worried about you…and us. I couldn't stop thinking about last night, I still can't," He admitted. With his other hand, he used it to cup her cheek. "But please let me take care of you. Let me wipe away every single tear, let me listen to all your problems, let me pick you up when you're exhausted. Lean on me when you need to."

It was difficult to look directly at him now, and she stared at her hand in his as he spoke. She blushed slightly at the kiss, but it was overshadowed by the melting pot of other emotions building up inside her. She could only nod in reply.
His hand was cool and soft against her cheek, yet strong and sturdy too. Finding herself leaning into his touch, she let the first tear fall. Why was she crying? Sure, she’d been stressed out, his shout had been jarring, but there was no reason to cry now. Why couldn’t she save it for another day?
“I was worried too,” she murmured. “I can’t help but feel the need to protect you, at least in my own way. And then I take the blame when something happens…” she sighed. “K-Kangdae… aren’t I supposed to be taking care of you? I can’t let you do that for me, it wouldn’t be proper.”

"It's okay. Let it all out if you have to," Kangdae whispered. He leaned over a bit so he could wipe away the tear without any difficulties. As his thumb gently wiped the tear away, he took a deep exhale trying not to cry himself.

The soft murmur in her voice caused him to bit his bottom lip. Hearing his name come out of her lips is always going to be something, though last time it made him excited. Now hearing it makes him want to cry, but he shouldn't. Kings never cry, never.

He shook his head. "Why not? You already are doing so much for me. Creating cover stories to tell my mother, letting me get close to you, making me smile and laugh. Shouldn't I do something for you?" He questioned. Kangdae lowered his gaze while lightly squeezing her hand. "Ah, now I feel like I've committed a great sin for hurting such a magnificent lady."

Although his eyes were still watery, they lit up as he gazed up at her. The corners of his lips turned into a light smile. "I am the richest being in this kingdom, but I do not believe all the gold I have will make this mesmerizing young woman in front of me feel better again. I am such a fool. How will I pay you back? Oh dear…I wonder…"

She managed a small smile, even as another tear slid down her cheek. Seeing his own eyes glisten made her feel like crying even more, and yet it was also comforting to see that she was not the only emotional one. Although, how was it possible, if he did not feel emotions like she did?
“Heh, I suppose that’s true,” she said. “Well, thank you. For being someone I can lean on.” She squeezed his hand in return. “You haven’t hurt me. I was just startled, and I didn’t know how much you wanted me to stay. I just… have always thought things would be better if I left the room.”
Somehow she met his eyes, heart beginning to pound. Oh, how his eyes seemed so alive, an entire galaxy seemed to live in them. There was no forethought, no idea of what she’d do next. Pure impulse seemed to take hold. How glorious, how terrifying, to do things without thinking ahead.
“Perhaps you can repay me for this.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek. Quickly moving away, she looked away from him, blushing hard and very surprised with herself.

He looked down at their hands as she squeezed his. Shaking his head, he bit down on his bottom lip. "There's no need to thank me," He insisted. Staring at her, he sighed. "And still, I wasn't thinking properly. It wasn't my intention to shout, I am guilty of that." When their eyes met, all he could do was sit there and admire them. They're much more beautiful that the night sky.

Before he could even register it, he felt her lips against his cheek. The warmth of them stinging his bleak skin just for a brief moment. It was so blissful and so strange at the same time. Of course, it had been so long since anyone has ever kissed his cheek and no one has ever since he turned; he never even expected someone to for the rest of eternity.

It took a while before he moved. He was frozen in place as he stared at her. His eyes lit up red again, although he wasn't sure why this time. The smell of blood fill his senses, and yet he was more focused on Jimin's expression. He couldn't help but beam and chuckle a little as he watched her astonished face.

Kangdae had to let go of her hand so that he could get out of the bed. After fixing the cover, he turned to face her. At first, he was hesitant to move closer towards her, but he eventually did. His hand gently rested under her chin so their eyes can meet again. "You never cease to amaze me, Jimin."

It was very hard to think coherently now. Everything seemed to buzz inside of her, as if she had been struck by lightning. Did that really happen? It must have, if the way the prince looked at her told her anything.
At least her tears had dried now, though being replaced by hot ears and cheeks wasn’t much better. Her heart only beat faster when she heard him chuckle. A pang in her chest when she felt his hand on her chin, her eyes guided to meet his.
Jimin didn’t think she could speak, or at least she didn’t trust herself to. What a scandalous thing she had done. She almost wanted to undo it, but at the same time, maybe in the moment, it had felt so… right. Oh, how could they keep calling themselves friends now?
She trembled, glimpsing at the way the candlelight and the moonlight seemed to collide like supernovas in the depths of his irises. How had she never noticed it before?
“K… Your Highness…” she whispered, the only words her mind could seem to conjure.

Now he wasn't sure what to do. Just like before, his thoughts were still all over the place except. He felt like he was standing in front of the sun, but he wasn't feeling burned at all. Her heat kissed his hand as he kept it on her chin. Her eyes pierced him like a stake and left him breathless. Yet somehow, he only wants to get as close to her as possible. Somehow he never wants to break her gaze.

Even while staring into her eyes, he couldn't help but notice her tremble. Taking a step forward, he placed his other hand on her waist, pulling Jimin to him. "Why are you quivering? Is something wrong?" He whispered.

His thumb slowly brushed against her bottom lip. Briefly breaking their gaze, he looked down at those soft rose-colored pouty lips. Kangdae leaned in carefully, almost placing his lips on top of hers before stopping himself. "I am sorry." Why did he do that? He promised her that he'd be slow and go the pace she wants to. Why is he being selfish? In hopes of playing it off, he kissed the top of her forehead instead.

"You know, Jimin, I can feel others heartbeats as they beat on and bump blood. They all sound the same, but yours is like music to my ears," He chuckled, "And it's even better when I see your face flush red and warm up." With his hand that rested against her cheek, he used it to take ahold of Jimin's hand again. "Is there anything I can do to make it race even faster?"

Somehow being pulled closer to him allowed Jimin to find her voice. “I… I’m just amazed by myself, too,” she murmured.
She hadn’t even realized how close he was until he apologized. Strangely amused by the realization of what he’d been about to do, she found herself grinning as he kissed her forehead. And yet in the very next moment, she wanted to burst into tears again. She took deep breaths instead, tried to get a hold of herself. What was happening to her? Her emotions seemed to churn like a wild sea.
Her grin couldn’t help but return at Kangdae’s chuckle. It wasn’t melodic like hers, more breathy and staccato, but that’s what made it all the more pleasing to hear.
Still rather flushed, she lowered her gaze shyly. “You flatter me.” Then looking up, incredulous, “Y- Your Highness, I think if it beat any faster I would faint.” Her voice warbled slightly, and it was then the tears came, quite unwelcome. Jimin quickly wiped her eyes, but they kept coming.
Memories came back to her, surfacing from the depths of her childhood. Her mother saying she had to leave because it would be easier for everyone. Her father slapping her for wandering outside one morning. The last day she stayed with her uncle, when he off-handedly remarked that it would be easier to keep money in his pockets once she was gone. It always seemed like she was so unwanted. How could someone, the prince no less, want her so much?

A beam swept across his face as he heard her. He hummed softly, nodding along. "You should amaze yourself once in a while, that way you'll remind yourself how great you are," He whispered. "You are more awestruck than the night sky. I bet the moon and all the stars are jealous of you."

Softly squeezing her hand, he kept smiling. A small trail of laughter left from his lips. "Ah I see, then I will just have to make you fall for me," He exalted. His eyes lowered for just a moment as he looked at her hand and brushing his thumb against it.

His smile dropped as his ears picked up the change in her voice. He became perplexed watching as her eyes became watery once again and seeing the tears begin to fall. A small gap between his lips formed, ready for questions to fall out. No, he shouldn't be asking anything. Confused, he kissed her forehead again, thinking somehow that would help. Then he frowned at himself. No maybe that's what made her cry. Did he really hurt her?

Kangdae pulled Jimin into his arms, trapping her in his embrace. Just like the morning before, his fingers brushed against her back trailing up and down. Once he stopped to trace a little heart before continuing with his regular pattern. "It's okay," He cooed, "I have all eternity and I am not going anywhere, so let all your tears go till you feel better. Alright?"

Well, maybe I’ve already fallen, she mused silently.
The thought scared her a little. The possibility that not only did Kangdae want her, but she wanted him was well opened up like a gaping chasm. She remembered last night, how strangely happy she had been when he first kissed her. The way each word he spoke seemed to pull her, tie her closer to him. Despite internal resistance, she was subconsciously falling into the chasm.
She felt his cold fingers squeezing her hand, his soft cool lips on her forehead, and suddenly she was crying more, not less. Not because he had hurt her, but because he was reinforcing that daunting possibility. His embrace did the same. Tentatively wrapping her arms around him as well, she found comfort here as he caressed her, despite the turmoil building. There was a place for her heat to go, a body that had not been warm in a long time. She shuddered as he traced the heart, and found herself returning the gesture. Why did this feel so wrong and yet so, so good? She quietly sobbed into his robes, only able to nod in reply.
After a minute or so, she calmed down, eyes closed as her head rested against his chest. The conflicting thoughts continued, but at least there wasn’t so much emotion.
Her eyes fluttered open. Looking up at him, she managed a brief, rueful smile. “I wonder if the stars are jealous of you instead, for you made me awestruck a long time ago.” Then she sighed. “Are we lovers now? I… I kissed you. I don’t think we can be friends any longer, now that I’ve done that.”

For some reason, his eyes had the urge to cry. They were full of tears, but he wasn't sure why they were or why such a feeling had overcome him. The feeling of her heart beating, the heat radiating against his cold body, and the tears wetting his robes all contributed to this. And yet, he felt as if something else was also doing so. It scares him.

Kangdae closed his eyes, forcing himself to forget about the strange feeling. Instead he went back to thinking about Jimin and what was going on now, though it wasn't difficult for him to think about her again. If only he had power to resolve all their troubles. He wondered what he can ever do for her in return for this.

As she wrapped her arms around him, he lightly squeezed his embrace before relaxing. He paused twice at feeling her shudder and then when she rested her head against his chest. His hand reached up and stroked the back of her head.

A chill went down his spine when their eyes met. His gaze softened. Something in her grin made him worry. All he could do was caress her cheek and give a small smile. "Perhaps they are jealous of the two of us. Maybe they wish they could be as wonderful as we are when we're together," He whispered.

Suddenly he stiffened at her question. His lips curled back as he nervously nodded. He lowered his gaze as his lips slowly parted open. "Only if you want to….I mean I do, but it will only work if you want to as well," He answered. "Lovers are better when they want to be together."

Jimin put a hand atop the one that caressed her cheek, suddenly feeling rather fragile. As if she would stumble to the floor if he let her go. Her ears reddened a bit as he answered, slightly regretting how forward she had been.
“Well, I only ask because now that we’ve- we’ve kissed each other, then we can only be lovers. At least, that’s what I figured,” she said. “That’s partly why I feel teary-eyed right now. I’m afraid of being anything more than friends, because then I would be breaking the rules. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to kiss you ever again without feeling guilt. But now that we have kissed, we cannot simply avoid reality. The fact that we are indeed more than friends.” She sighed again. “I want to, I do, but I don’t want this to be tainted by guilt and shame.”
Then soft laugh slipped through her lips. “A vampire as my lover,” she muttered to herself. “Perhaps the stars and moon will not just be jealous, but also call us fools.”
But she was beginning to think that being a fool once in a while may not be such a bad thing. It was already too late.
Her gaze had been fixed on him, the way his eyes glistened causing her voice to warble at times and her own eyes to grow wet again. Properly realizing what this meant, she cautiously moved her hand from the one on her cheek to his own, fingers shyly brushing against his icy skin.
“Kangdae,” she whispered. “Hey, it’s alright. If you need to shed your own tears, you can. There’s a time for everything, right? A time to sing, a time to weep. It’s alright. I may not have eternity, but I will be here too. I will probably weep with you too, heh.”

Carefully listening to every single word, he nodded. And though he kept his gaze down at the floor, he would gaze up every now and then. With each glance, the urge to cry grew and made it holding back more difficult. It took him a while to register the fact that her hand was on top of his.

A fool. Maybe the stars in the sky would call them fools. He would not mind it all. They can do whatever they want as he is here on this earth with a human who happens to be more important to him than all the stars combined. A human that possess so much more power than the night sky. He managed to laugh along with Jimin; he couldn't help, her laughter is pleasant to hear yet contagious.

Swiftly, he shook his head. His lips curled back as he began to blink rapidly. Despite his efforts to slow down his breathing, it sped up. He wasn't sure this was happening. Why? Why is this happening? It has been a long time since he has ever cried, especially around someone else. But he is with Jimin and he is normally calm and happy, not really worried about anything. So what's wrong with him?

"I shouldn't be crying," He sniffled, then wiping away a tear. "Kings do not cry nor do blood lusting creatures like me should cry. I do not understand why this is happening. I'm with you, but why am I scared? I am something that is feared, why? It does not make any sense."

A few more tears escaped, and he caught them before they could stain his cheek. He tried to force the corners of his lips to curve into a light smile. "I do not understand why I am like this. I have you, we're in each other's arms, and your fingers are brushing my cheek. I feel alive, don't you?" As he spoke, his eyes wandered up to meet hers. It wasn't long till he had to look away as he blinked.

She looked at him with a kind of hopeful sadness, letting her own tears flow freely when they came. It was still a little strange to her to call him by his name and not his title. She had been told over and over again that to do so would be incredibly disrespectful and inappropriate, so she had hesitated every time she had. But he didn’t seem to mind. He had told her she could be informal with him. The more time they spent together here, the more she felt comfortable addressing him as ‘Kangdae.’ And yet after she would do that, it felt as though eyes were watching her through the cracks in the floor and the folds of the covers on the bed. She tried to shake off the feeling.
Jimin’s brow knotted up with concern, subconsciously brushing away a lock of hair from the prince’s face before returning to his cheek and gliding down to his jaw. “Well, why shouldn’t you? Maybe you don’t have to in front of others, but when you’re with me or alone, you can.” Pausing to think, she added, lowering her voice a little, “Maybe that’s why there are so many angry and violent kings. Maybe that’s even why there are vampires too. They can’t cry, so they have to rage and hurt others instead.”
Blinking up at him, she tried to look deeply into his eyes, as if searching for something. ”Look at me, Kangdae,” she whispered almost inaudibly. Then she spoke louder, but still softly as if she were unsure of her words. “I wonder if you’re scared because if being King means you don’t cry, then crying immediately doesn’t mean you’re a King. And if you cry as this inhuman creature, then… then it’s like a play. A show to lure others to you. Ah, forgive me for saying these assumptions, I suppose I’m thinking aloud again.”
Her tears had stopped falling as she spoke, but now fresh ones rose up. “I don’t think I completely understand either,” she said, “but I don’t think it matters.” She rested her head against his chest again. “I… I don’t know. I think I feel like… glass.”

While she spoke, he kept his eyes shut. Every single word he heard brought him closer and closer to breaking down. He knows that he shouldn't, it wouldn't be right to, and yet it was so difficult. It was so hard trying to force them back and hope that he can move on from the unfamiliar feeling.

Something had hit him when he heard her whisper. It was so low, but his ears were able to pick it up. When opening his eyes, they had flashed red. They did so while he stared into hers just for a mere second. A tear had fallen out before he looked away once again.

He wasn't able to hold the tears back anymore. They just flowed out and rolled down onto his cheeks. Every few seconds he would sniffle to keep himself from sobbing. Once he grabbed some fabric from his sleeve to wipe them away, not wanting them to run freely or to fall onto her. And despite the tears coming out, there was still more that he was able to hold back.

Maybe she was right. Still, it did not feel right with letting himself cry. Only humans do such a thing. Whenever has a vampire has? He has only ever heard such a thing in a tragedy, but even then, there was only one story where one did. But he doesn't want them to be another tragedy that parents tell their children. He doesn't want to be like all the others in those foolish stories.

Words could not form in his mouth, he just couldn't think of anything to say. There was too much swirling around in his mind that it made it all very confusing, which he really hates. He should be speechless for other reasons, not because he is crying.

Kangdae felt Jimin rest her head against him. A feeling that he is coming to like. Even with the tears coming from his eyes, he managed to smile a little. His hand reached up to caress the back of her head. "It is alright," He managed to say. His voice trembled, it was quiet when he said once again, "It is alright."

Hearing him sniffling was enough to cause her own tears to flow again, and she squeezed his torso a bit before relaxing. It is, it is, she said in her heart. It is and will be alright.
Jimin fell silent, starting to rock them back and forth where they stood. Her chest heaved slightly as the tears slid down her cheeks, but she didn’t really notice as her mind began to drift. Back to last night. The words he spoke, both then and now. Was it really so wrong to be here, in each other’s arms? To love him, to be his lover? She still wasn’t sure. But tomorrow, if nothing changes, they may kiss each other again, and she will feel another pang of guilt. Even now, she couldn’t help but silently apologize to the Queen.
Kangdae’s hand was cool against her head, and his chest like a soft pillow in a cold room. It made her wonder how cold his tears were. And if he had not cried in so long, how much he was holding back. She closed her eyes, smiling through the tears.
“This is so brave of you, Your Highness,” she whispered. “You’re so, so brave.”