Jimin had her head bowed, and she began fiddling with her fingers as they were folded in front of her. She could not help but feel like she had done something, something to cause this shift in the queen. She just couldn't pinpoint what.
“I would like to speak about Commander Song, yes,” she said, her volume lowered but her tone worried. “But I first wanted to know how you were faring, Your Majesty. Admittedly, you have me concerned about you these days. Perhaps more so than your older son, ha. But please, I want to at least make sure that you have not been stressed or overwhelmed recently.”
At some point as she spoke, she lifted her head to look at Queen Seohyun. She relaxed a little, now that she addressed what she had come here for. And yet, she also wondered if she was adding to Her Majesty’s stress by talking about this.
Queen Seohyun tilted her head with her brows raised. How she is faring? At this moment? Stressed or overwhelmed, that is all she has been feeling, practically ever since her husband had passed. It's just been getting worse now that it feels like the court will collapse on her and her sons, but she cannot tell Jimin that, could she?
"Everyone these days have been nothing but stressed," She sighed. "I am glad to have my boys back on palace grounds, but there are some things I wish I could tell you, yet am not allowed. I will be alright….I am alright, okay? Although I think I will be taking a day off from my usual duties in order to make sure that His little Highness will settle in nicely."
She looked over at the doors to Prince Doyun's bed chambers. The queen could only imagine his lip jutting out in a pout as he continues to read, just like how Kangdae used to at his age. "I do not know if you could tell, but he doesn't seem to enjoy it here. And he really wishes to see His Highness, though we cannot let him at these unknown moments. I have to keep both my sons safe after all. That is why I am having Commander Song work with us closely. I want them safe even if those wretched rumors about vampires are real or not, I must protect them."
A sigh passed her cold lips. She dabbed a handkerchief to her forehead. "Everything will be alright Jimin, that I promise you."
(Fyi, I started college classes today, so I may be slower to reply)
(Take your time, I gotchu. Reply whenever it's convenient for you. Good luck on your classes!)
(Well Your Majesty, all I can imagine your son doing is pressing his ear to the door and eavesdropping on you guys)
The moment Her Majesty finished, Jimin knew she could not say any of the things that have been building inside of her. Her eyebrows upturned as she listened, eyes watching the queen even as she looked to the doors they stood outside of. Her desire to comfort and ease the queen’s worries struggled against her guilt for being dishonest with her, and she could not speak at first.
“Of course,” she murmured. “Please take the day off, it will do you good. And… it is alright if I’m not meant to know, but I am still worried.” After all, I’m keeping things from you, too.
Of course. It wasn’t just that the Song clan governed over the area where Kangdae first turned. Why would it be? What else was a military commander for? Jimin sighed. Even if he is meant for protection, she didn’t understand why Song Jeonghan was part of a plan meant to heal Kangdae, if his expertise was not medical in nature, but militant. Why does he need to know all of his symptoms and then debate with her about their cause if he was merely meant for protection?
“I see… Commander Song has given some insight into the cause of the crown prince’s condition,” she admitted. “But Your Majesty, I will say that I will be keeping as close an eye on him as I do your son.”
(Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he is actually. If Kangdae was there, he probably would too.)
Deep down a part of her does not want to consider herself to be in need of rest and relaxation. The queen does not want to admit all the tension within the courts and within her family are causing her to become nervous and weak. Nevertheless, she kept her chin parallel to the floor. Her eyes looking back at Jimin.
"Ah….I understand," She assured, giving a smile. "I suppose you have every right to be concerned. You always are a caring and sweet young woman. How I am grateful to have someone like you in this palace."
She looked down at her hands. They felt as if they were shaky slightly, but she could not tell. She cannot pick out anything that is going on in the court and it makes her sick. She lets out a sigh, then looks at Jimin, giving the court lady a nod.
"If that will make you feel better, then I suppose I shall let you. But remember that he is powerful, and comes from a powerful family….So if you do keep an eye on Commander Song, you should be careful; not for my sake, but yours."
The tension in her shoulders seemed to finally ease, but Jimin did not return the queen’s smile. “Your Majesty… I’m just doing my job,” she said, shrugging faintly. “But thank you, I’m glad you think of me as such.”
For a moment she was silent, watching Queen Seohyun, but not in the present moment. Her mind took over as half-formed thoughts and ideas swam through it. Some of Commander Song, some of Kangdae, some completely divorced from current business. When was she ever going to do that laundry…?
Her mind only caught up to what was going on when Her Majesty had been speaking for about a second or two. “Hm? Ah, right.” Suddenly she wanted to explain, to tell her all of her doubts and inhibitions, but stopped herself. “I will, Your Majesty. I do not think I can promise anything, but I will try, as I always do.”
The corners of her lips naturally remained up, although the brightness in her eyes had dimmed. She forced her hands to stop shaking, and held them neatly in front of her. The grip of her top hand was tight, yet she remained neutral and nonchalant as she kept on softly grinning.
"Ah well of course," She said. "Everyone is just doing their job here. I just can't help but take a step back sometimes and be grateful for everything. While it may not be peaceful in the courts….at least I have…everything."
Her brow rose at her own words. Was she just lying to herself or simply talking to Jimin? She did not know herself. Nevertheless, she looked over towards the door then over past Jimin's shoulder. Her mind wondered what Doyun is doing or better yet, what her oldest son is doing at the moment. And with Commander Song in the palace now, she wondered how it will all be.
At least she isn't the only one with a preoccupied mind. "As long as you do your best, that is all I be expecting," the queen assured. "Will that be all for now? Or are there other matters that you wish to speak of?"
She was not sure if she liked the look on the queen’s face. She sighed. “Of course. It is good to be grateful for the things we have when things get rough.” Her eyes blinked and squinted as Her Majesty’s expression shifted.
“Alright.” Jimin sighed again. “I believe that is all, but I would like to ask you one thing. Would you like me to wait upon you, Your Majesty? Or would you rather have privacy with the young prince? I can still serve you, even while you are taking a break from normal duties.”
She did not mind it either way. It would be understandable if the queen chose to be alone. Jimin could do laundry, visit Iseul, and check on preparations for the coming coronation in the meantime. If she did want Jimin around, then she will gladly stay by her side. Though, Prince Doyun with them might make things a little awkward.
Her Majesty looked down the hall as she pondered. Does she need any to wait on her right now? She has much to do. If anything, she has to make sure that Kangdae, or herself, is complete control of everything. It is the only way to ensure that she will succeed in protecting the throne and the family. And one way to further this is to make sure that Doyun settles nicely back into the palace.
Wood creaked from inside the little prince's chambers. The queen was sure that she heard a soft voice sigh, "Ah come on…" Laughing quietly to herself, she shook her head while hearing footsteps walking away from the door.
"Go on with whatever other tasks you need to fulfill. I will have someone fetch for you if need be, Jimin," Queen Seohyun replied. She probably will not. While she might have a guard fetch the scholar who will tutor Doyun or maybe someone like Commander Song, she doesn't expect to call for anyone else.
While it may be unorthodox, she went to the door and opened it. Across from her was Prince Doyun sitting on the bed, kicking his legs as he pretended to read a red covered book. She frowned then turned to Jimin. "That is all for now, Lady Hwang. Thank you, and you are dismissed."
Jimin waited patiently, but at the same time inadvertently went back into the straying thoughts of her mind. When a voice drifted from inside the room, she focused again. Blinking at the door, she folded her hands in front of her. Was that what she thought it was?
She turned back to the queen. “Of course. I will be available whenever you need me, should that be the case, Your Majesty.”
Her gaze fell to the floor, even as the queen opened the door to the room. A twinge of pain made her wince. Come to think of it, the cramps had stopped sometime as she was talking to Myung, but now she could feel something again. She focused on breathing, hoping the cramps wouldn’t grow too painful.
Looking up, she nodded, then bowed. “Yes, Your Majesty. Good day to you, and to Prince Doyun as well.”
She straightened, then turned and left. Her movements were a little stiff, but she wasn’t quite paying attention. There were a lot of things to think about, a lot of things to do. Jimin tried not to worry too much and let it get the best of her. Even with Song Jeonghan, even with Queen Seohyun overwhelmed, it wasn’t over yet. How long until Kangdae’s ascension to the throne? With everything going on, she had forgotten what day it was.
(Before I write anything, I just want to make sure it's cool if I have us skip to nighttime. Or if you want us to write more happening now during the daytime. Either is fine with me.)
(I’m good with skipping to nighttime! ^^)
(Great, thanks!)
Just like the little prince, the crown prince was sitting on the edge of the bed with a book under his hands and the exact same pout on his face. There were multiple reasons as to why Kangdae is in such a stressed state, although it is not for the same reasons as Doyun. Well, at least for the better part.
A solid blue robe laid a mess on the floor near the bed. He sat in all white, making a stark contrast with his deathly pale skin. Kangdae accidentally ripped his favorite black and white one after getting up onto the balcony after not being able to go into the forest.
Why one may ask? There were soldiers keeping watch outside the forest. He could not risk it to slip through, feast, and come back with some blood on his face and hands. Thankfully he was able to discover this without being discovered himself.
Yes he does know why there are men guarding the forest and yes he is not going to say anything out of insecurity. Besides, he admits that the small ping of hunger is making him a little bit angry.
But it is nighttime and that fact is what is keeping him together. Although, it's not because the sun will be setting. No no no. It's because his sun will be showing. And he will get to bask in her warmth and presence.
He tried opening up his new journal to write, yet there was too much in his mind for him to focus singularly on writing. And with everything else going on, he shut it in frustration, ending up in the position that he is in now.
(Oh, btw, are new guards outside his door or is Myung still acting as a substitute?)
(Oh I should've clarified that Myung is still acting as a substitute. I'm sorry)
It was the end of the week, Jimin soon learned. So, it was laundry day, filled with dirty and freshly cleaned clothes alike. More water was fetched to wash with, and more garments were hung to dry outside the window. It was good work, perfect for pondering and planning all the while. Of course, with that always came the danger of rumination and getting lost in all the stress and dangers of her problems. Though she tried not to, it was hard. By the end of the day, other ladies might have noticed a dark look had come over her.
It did not go away, even while she was on he way to the crown prince’s chambers. The stormy expression pulled down on her lips and furrowed her brow. It only deepened when she saw the servant’s figure outside the doors. Taking a breath, she tried to compose herself.
“Myung,” she greeted, then reached to take out her binyeo. Then Jimin stopped. “Oh, is it alright if I go in? I understand His Highness is not seeing anyone today, but…” she trailed off, and let out a small sigh. There was already a small pain her abdomen. The cramps were becoming less frequent, which was good, but they always seemed to get worse at night.
Unlike the soldiers, Myung was sitting on the floor. He spent the whole day running all over the palace grounds quite literally. His feet are aching so he thought he could get away with sitting for a bit. He held a little journal with notes from his studies. In a whispering tone, he read them out loud to himself.
The sound of his name sent a shock down his spine. Bolting up, he hid the journal behind his back while bowing. Only when he looked to see who it was did he relax and go back to his normal self.
"Lady Hwang, good evening!" He beamed, despite his heart still pounding from fear. "Is it? Uhh…well…let me check!" Myung opened the left door just a little bit to see His Highness in the same brooding, grumpy mood he was in hours ago.
He decided to shut the door. His lips rolled back till he looked back at Jimin, giving her a reassuring smile. "He's a little upset about recent changes in the palace…but do not let his current mood scare you cause I know it's scary for me," He admitted. "You should be fine, my lady! You can go in! I'll open the door for you." His fingers lightly wrapped around the handle, but he didn't move any further.
Jimin was able to watch him for a few seconds before Myung stood up. It was curious. It wasn’t everyday you saw a servant reading. She took out her binyeo, and fiddled with it in her hands. She was quiet as the servant peeked through the door and shut it again.
An eyebrow rose. “Hm. I see. Well, that makes two of us. Thank you, Myung.” Stepping forward, she handed him the binyeo. “Do you mind keeping this safe for me?”
Hopefully things could go smoothly. There was a lot that needed to be addressed. The missing guards, Song Jeonghan, the future… and hopefully, then, they could spend some time forgetting about it all.
Once Myung opened the door, Jimin stepped inside. The first thing her eyes locked on was Kangdae’s almost completely white form sitting on the bed. Her gaze traveled to the journal in his hands, then down to the robe on the floor. She looked back at Kangdae, and her hard look softened a little. “You really look like a statue now,” she murmured, mostly to herself.
Raising her voice, she said, “Your Highness, good evening. Is everything alright?” Of course, nothing really looked ‘alright,’ but she might as well ask.
Myung shoved the book into his traveling pouch. "Of course!" Holding out his right hand, he supported it using the left. He looked down at the hair accessory with confusion, but did not say anything about it. The servant just stared down at it with awe as he held the door opened then bowed. The moments after she walked in and he closed the door, it was back to reading for him.
Some excitement stirred within the crown prince. It made his shoulders less tensed. Kangdae finally began to take a deep breath or two, despite there being no need for him to do so. He wanted to rush over to Jimin and give her a hug, but he was weighed down with so many concerns.
His hands gripped the edges of the journal until he realized its presence. He shoved it underneath the pillow then returned to being…well….sitting like a statue. His furrowed brows created small creases in his forehead.
"I am….." Kangdae did not know how to put it. His mind is a battlefield of its own. An incessant one with no victors. He heaved an useless sigh then proceeded to nod afterwards. "Everything is quite alright, Jimin, my love."
His chin came up, becoming parallel to the floor. Kangdae glimpsed at Jimin, doing his best to force the corners of his lips to curve up. Then his eyes stared at the doors behind her. He returned his gaze to the floor. It's obvious he is lying, but there is still some sincerity in his response.
Jimin couldn’t help but smile when he looked her. Stepping around the robe on the floor, she approached him, gently placed her hands on his shoulders, and lightly kissed him on the forehead. Amazing how she suddenly gained the confidence to do so.
But the cramps still twinged painfully, so she decided to sit next to Kangdae on the bed, letting out a small groan.
“Alright,” she said, though she easily saw through the lie, “if you say so.” She leaned against him, wanting her closeness to be some sort of comfort. For a moment she was quiet, focusing on breathing. Her mind was waging its own wars, thoughts crossing over each other and begging for her attention.
She just sighed. “Do you want to talk about this morning?” She asked. Then her gaze turned dark again. “Song Jeonghan is… annoying.” It wasn’t a very respectful comment, but it just slipped out. Because it was true. Because really, Jimin was afraid. To make that man into something smaller than he was felt almost comforting.
“But we don’t have to,” she said, unsure of where her words were coming from. Then she remembered the day she did not ask, and he was tired. “… If you can’t focus.”
Lifting his chin, he glimpsed up at Jimin. His eyes twinkled before and after she kissed his forehead. Even though his mood somewhat remains, the light kiss dissolved the cold expression that rested on his face for so long today.
Kangdae immediately draped his arm around her back, letting his hand rest on her shoulder. And he didn't spare a moment to give his beloved a kiss on her forehead. Guess they are both in a stressed state; he knows it is normal, but he doesn't want it to be their normal. He doesn't want the stress of tomorrow to loom over the time they have together now.
He sighed then went back to looking at the doors; not for any particular reason at this point. Once the name of the fool rang in his ears, he gazed downnat Jimin then threw his head back with laughter.
Lowering his head, he forced himself to sigh out of habit. "Song Jeongha-" He went back to laughing. It was partially an amused one, yet his laughter carried exhaustion and hatred. Thankfully he was able to stop himself and continue on what he was originally going to say. "It's true, he is annoying. The only thing that is keeping him where he is…is money and the bitter blood that goes beyond the age of this palace."
The cheer from his laughter faded when he shook his head. "I'm going to kill him, whether it be the last thing I do or the first thing I do as king," He promised. "And if he ever does anything to you, it'll happen much quicker."
Kangdae rested his head against Jimin's. He used his hand to rub the side of her shoulder. "We should talk about this morning. Not for my sake, but for yours too," He said. "I know you must have gone through a lot…especially since you had to deal with that fool."
Jimin closed her eyes and smiled at the kiss, readily enjoying it and the arm around her. She had missed this. If only they could do it more often. If only they weren’t confined to these moments in time.
Then she opened her eyes, and her smile turned into something more reminiscent of a smirk. “Yes. Him.” Watching Kangdae laugh, self satisfaction drowned out her worry of being rude. Every day she was glad that he did not mind and even loved her bluntness and honesty.
Her smirk soon faded. “Bitter blood…” she echoed. A chill ran through her. Song Jeonghan may be a huge problem, but she didn’t know yet if he was big enough to be murdered. And what were the possibilities that he would do anything to her? The way she saw it, it would be unwise if he hurt her since she was so close to the queen. Unless, perhaps, he tried something along the lines of blackmail.
She let out a sigh, melting into her lover’s touch. It helped her forget the cramping somewhat. She chuckled slowly. “I suppose so.” For a moment she went through her memories of the morning before she blinked. Raising her head, she exclaimed, “Oh, wait! First, I should thank you for this,” she pointed to the red flower still in her hair, “and the…” her eyes widened. Reaching into her jeogori, she pulled out the letter, warm from her body heat and the small horse still drawn on. “Poem…!” Jimin shook her head. “I can’t believe I forgot to read this.”
