forum "How come you haven't run away from me yet?"//oxo//Closed

Started December 12, 2020 by @knightinadream group

tune

"Ah I should not have said such a thing," He frowned at himself. Still, anytime he thinks of that worthless name, death is the only thing that follows in suit. Death and murder and corruption and power and blood. It's only natural for him as it is for rain to follow a dark sky. "But he might be a threat bigger than he presents himself. He must have done or said something to my mother to make him a part of all of this and to be in charge of the palace guards."

Kangdae shook his head. He would had Myung spy on Commander Song, but it seems that the fool had thought a step ahead and took away his two guards. Heavens only knows what happened to those two poor souls. Regardless, he will have to handle this situation somehow. There's too much smoke to be ignoring the fire.

His hand rested on the side of Jimin's head and began to slowly pat it. It went down to her side after she raised her head to show him the flower. The bleak feeling in his eyes were overtaken with joy as he laughed in fascination.

His eyes settled on the drawing of the horse. To be quite honest, he drew it late at night after returning to his chambers. He let his fingers softly hold the brush then next thing he knew there was a drawing of a horse then somehow in the midst of thinking about Jimin, he wrote the poem.

"Oh perfect!" He gleamed. "That gives me the opportunity to read it to you then. Do you want me to?"

Jimin nodded slowly, thinking back to the queen’s words. “It is possible. It is likely. Her Majesty only said that he was for protection, but why….?” She murmured to herself, trailing off and descending into that old spiral of thoughts she had that morning.
They lurched to stop when Kangdae began to pat her head, at which she let out a small laugh. Him and his awkward pats, she loved them both. An ease came to her limbs when she saw the spark in his eyes.
Then she blinked. She had not really expected him to say that. At least he did not mind that she forgot to read it. A little flustered, she said, “Um, sure, why not?” and handed him the letter. “We can talk about this morning afterwards, then.”
Although she was about bursting with curiosity, she was also rather anxious for some strange reason. Jimin sort of expected it to be a pile of compliment after compliment, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle that. It was unfair, the amount of power this little piece of paper and ink held. It could make her laugh, cry, or hide her face in embarrassment for all she knew. Incredible that her lover could create such a thing.

Kangdae softly laughed a little. Carefully, he took the piece of paper into his hand. "When you ponder for a little, having me read this technically counts as us going over this morning."

The moment his eyes laid on the characters that lined up perfectly on paper, Kangdae froze. Believe him, if he ever says that it felt like his cheeks were flushed because obviously they aren't, although the sentiment still stands. And it made no sense for him to be this way after all the things he has said. It's practically no different on paper.

But this paper, he used and wrote for Jimin. Every single word was conjured from the thought of her. Yes he had written it while in a state of bleakness and yearning. Yes he had it delivered to Jimin for her to read and keep. Is it strange that the excitement had finally caught up to him?

"You know, I will not be hurt if you discard this. I will probably write thousands of better ones, but I will wait to give them to you myself," He promised. Clearing his throat, he held the paper up to get a better read.

"Gentle iron, mighty and rich in boundless strength. A mumble stronger than light and thunder. The blossoms after a long winter. I long to wait for dusk, when the sun and moon meet again."

Lowering the paper, Kangdae shook his head. "Jimin, there is something that I must confess…." He shifted a little then gazed over at his beloved. "And I am nervous to admit this, but I am in love with you."

She raised an eyebrow, but smiled. “And why would I ever discard a gift from you?” She couldn’t help but ask, even if it was to some degree rhetorical.
A little too late, a realization dawned on her. Jimin had never read much poetry before, much less heard it read aloud. Her uncle only had his medical books and scrolls, and there was never much reason to look for poetry in the palace archives unless it was to organize it. So when Kangdae was finished, it was nothing like what Jimin expected it to be. It was not a pile of compliments on her looks, as she had thought. There were definitely some pretty words here and there, but it seemed that she had thought that he wrote the same way he spoke, when that was not the case. No, it was an image, a story. She was quiet at first, picking apart the words and trying to understand what they meant. It was like some beautiful puzzle that her mind could chew on.
“‘A mumble stronger than light…’” she echoed, confused but fascinated. Then her eyes followed Kangdae’s shaking head. She raised her eyebrow again, then met his gaze with blushed cheeks. Half of her wanted to ask the difference between loving and being in love, and the other half had no idea what to say.
She opened her mouth, then closed it. Something made tears sting her eyes. Spirits, why must her cycle play with her emotions like this?
“I… How do you know?” She found herself saying. “How do you know… when you’re in love with someone?”

The romance of love is something that he never truly experienced in his human life. Although at the very end, he has experienced something of the sorts, it wasn't to this degree. It was burning passion, although, in what burns between them, Kangdae has assurance that they will rekindle their flames whenever they become small.

And to think that his heart doesn't beat, but he still feels and experiences great emotions now….It is as mad as it is wonderful….as it is a blessing. What makes it mesmerizing is how he is lucky to have Jimin, who acknowledges and reciprocates it.

"How do you know when you're in love with someone? Hmmm…" Kangdae sat there for a few minutes. Suddenly, he folded the paper back up, then handed it back to Jimin. He then used his sleeve in an attempt to wipe away any tears.

"Well….Even in times of serenity and peace or anarchy and madness, you know that the two of you will always have each other. Or all the kisses and words in the world cannot match just being in their presence…..When you can be absolutely vulnerable with them and they are with you….And even if you have not seen them in a day or weeks or months or even years, it will always be the same everytime the two of you reunite."

His eyes glimpsed down at the paper. A soft smile broke his face. He pointed at it. "I knew the moment I read this to you. After all you found out the truth…saw my tears…witnessed some of my deepest faults…and yet, you are here now. You know what I am, you have seen it, but you call me Kangdae. You are the strength to my pliancy."

Jimin pursed her lips, taking back the letter and letting letting out a small chuckle when he moved to wipe at her eyes. But despite that, she felt tears sting her eyes again and soon spill over her cheeks the more he spoke.
“I am?” She asked softly. “Is that… how you see me? Is that who I am to you?” She put a hand over her face, a little overwhelmed. “I never… thought I could be that for someone.”
Romance and the things that came along with it were rather new to her as well. It never seemed like she was supposed to fall in love anyway. She was supposed to marry, not fall in love. And when that did not happen, she was supposed to work, and not fall in love. For as long as she had been at the palace, that had been fine with her. She enjoyed the company of the other women, and did not really care for men at all. Perhaps that is why she had thought Kangdae would just be another friend at first, albeit with a royal title. Ah, a foolish thought. She had underestimated the power of her emotions.
Taking a breath, she moved her hand to rest on her forehead. “Well… now that you have told me, I know that I am in love with you, too, Kangdae.” She sniffed a little, and moved to wipe her eyes.
It almost made her want to become immortal. They will always have each other… until she dies. It will be the same every time they are together… until she dies. But of course, to have immortality, she would have to trade her humanity…
Then a thought hit her like her like a bolt of lightning. Her eyes hardened and her brow knotted together. She became lost in her thoughts, her mouth half opened in uncertainty.

"Oh my love…." Kangdae whispered to himself. The sight of the tears rolling down her face sparked tears of his own, yet he did everything he could to fight them back. He used his sleeve again to wipe hers away, and then the one trying to fall from his eyes.

He gave a nod right away. "I am your mirror, and I have seen your true reflection. It is difficult to know what we truly are, but our true selves are always reflected off of others," He said, "You are all I have said and much more. Of course you do not need my word for it."

A rather teary smile took hold on his face. The chances of knowing the future are low. He doesn't know what will happen tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. He may not be able to live to become king or maybe he will. The world may turn upside down for all he knows. Regardless, Kangdae is relieved to have been able to truly express himself to Jimin, and to be with her in this moment.

Yes, they are here now and they are together. He will not fail again. He will not be a coward. He will do everything in his power to be the rightful lover for Jimin. Kangdae will cherish this moment, just like every other moment with her, forever.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he leaned a bit over to look at her. "What is it, my dear?" He asked. It was questioning how the expression in her eyes changed dramatically in an instant. "Is there something wrong? Anything I can do for you?"

She closed her eyes as he wiped her tears away and chuckled softly. “Ah, yes, that is true. I think I did know already, deep inside.”
Maybe that is why she did not know what to say at first. Maybe it was because she already knew, in a way. Briefly, she recalled Myung’s words from that morning, and let out a sigh, shaking her head. Perhaps he hadn’t done a good job of hiding it in the first place.
Of course, they had only been together for a short time. Things would likely change, no matter what. If they separated, if he ascended to the throne, perhaps they could find each other again. Perhaps the worst comes to pass, and what then? Was it too early to tell?
But this thought in her mind still squirmed around, uncomfortable but begging for her attention. Both an answer and a question all at once. Jimin looked at her beloved, stared at him for a long time. Her gaze was hard, but uncertain, almost afraid. But then, it softened.
“It is alright,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “I’ll tack it onto the things we should talk about.” She breathed a sigh again, then smiled. “Do you want to actually talk about this morning now? I can fully insult the commander now that I am not in front of his face,” she teased.

"You did? Already? Wow," He breathed then laughed for a second, "I should not be taken aback by that, for you and your heart are astute."

As much as he continues to revel in the moment and being in Jimin's company, Kangdae had to accept the fact that there may come a time where they are broken apart and separated. Not in a sense that they turn away from each other themselves, but rather someone or something wedges themselves between Kangdae and Jimin, and fate. Things are never always calm in the palace. There is always someone with a torch, ready to burn everything down. Kangdae senses smoke, yet he doesn't know when the fire will emerge. Even when Jimin and him talk about this morning then plan and prepare for what may happen, it may not go as predicted, it may not work.

Just as he was ready to say "yes" in response to talking about the morning, he threw his head back and burst with laughter. His free hand slapped his knee a couple of times. There is no need for him to wait until he catches his breath, but he had to wait until he was able to stop laughing over Jimin's teasing and "Commander" Song. Assuring enough, he found himself able to. He kissed the back of her hand then cooed, "Oh to have fallen for a clever woman who insults my adversary just as I do. I would say I'd thank the heavens for having you, but it would be better to thank you, Jimin."

"But, do not let me take us off course. Let us talk about every point on this morning and every insult of this 'commander' to your heart's content."

“Perhaps,” she smiled, though it was a humble one. “But even if I did, I convinced myself that it couldn’t be true. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, only to feel heartache.”
Then her smile turned wide and playful. She loved it when she made him laugh. Oh, how it was music to her ears. Jimin found herself laughing a little too. “Should I say your welcome, then? Ah, but I would have to thank you too, because I have you in return.” Gently, she rubbed his hand with her thumb.
A sigh slipped out of her as she shook her head. “I will say though, I do not think I got much sleep last night. I was tired and in pain, which made everything worse.” She went over her memories of the morning again and remarked, “It was rather brief, looking back, but at the time it felt as though it dragged on and on.” Another sigh. “I believe we just made small talk at first. He kept saying that he knew me and that we were friends; I don’t have a clue why. Perhaps it is because he knows my brother. Anyway, he then told me of the rumors he heard and what the queen told him. I don’t know if you know, but it seems that the possibility of you being a monster or evil creature is going around now, and he told me that such monsters inhabited the area up north where you had been three years ago. That’s when I started to realize, I think. That he knew the truth. I tried to redirect the conversation, to talk about other possible environmental causes of your ‘illness,’ and we ended up debating about that for some time. Unfortunately he was smart enough to point out that no natural animal or poisonous plant would continue to affect you for three years without killing you. Really, the conversation went no where, and it was rather irritating. Though, at one point he could only list tigers and boars as the only fauna and flora in the north; I thought that was funny. I would’ve liked to believe he was actually stupid, then.”
Her gaze drifted downward, and her brow knotted together. “I could see he was very arrogant, but making an attempt not to be. He liked to boast about how powerful the Song clan is. Perhaps it, and all this about being friends was his attempt at using his nonexistent charisma on me to get me to like him.” She shrugged. “If that was the case, it was at the worst possible time. But I do not know. All I am sure of is that he knows the truth about you, and that he was likely trying to probe me for anything else he could find.”

"Heartache? Oh, Jimin my love….I should be damned if I ever give you such a thing." His eyes twinkled like the stars above them. The sight of her smile burned forever in his mind to cherish. Not be able to resist, he kissed the top of her head.

The whole time Jimin spoke, he did not move a single muscle. No, it was like Kangdae was a statue sort of. Of course he did blink every now and then, yet that was it. Even when he wanted to react to hearing about the commander and the conversation with Jimin, he didn't do anything except for listening and staring at his beloved.

A wave came down and crashed onto Kangdae, throwing him down into a place that he has never known and never expected to. Hearing of Song Jeonghan was always a topic that weakened, frustrated, and angered him. But the fact that he has found his way into the palace, probably bought his position, tricked Kangdae's mother, and now tried to win over Jimin for information, was enough to kill the crown prince.

Kangdae found himself laughing again. His shoulders were stiff. His laughter was strained and faltered. Regardless, he covered his eyes while shaking his head; playing it off as if it were nothing. Song Jeonghan is a fool, but he knows himself and he knows he can raise hell if so be it.

"Ah, I've been told about the rumors. Myung also said Lord Baek overheard the son of a bastard tried to convince Doyun by doing the same, talking about the rumors and all. Apparently Doyun didn't believe it and somehow managed to chew out a man who's nineteen years older than him without hesitation," He sighed. "If he doesn't try to dethrone or kill me anytime soon, I will make sure everyone remembers the Song clan and just how great they are."

Kangdae rolled his eyes. All of it directed to the vilified, but he got an idea. "Ah, since I'm the head of the Chang clan, I should boast about how we threw a coup against the Songs and then became the ruling dynasty. Oh, we are just amazing! Aren't we, my friend, Lady Hwang Jimin? Will you please fall for my astounding charisma and like me so I can use you as a tool for my own corrupt gain?"

He laughed at his mockery, and yet, he found himself frowning. "That man…..He is trying to find every reason for doing something to me. He hunts vampires, but he also hunts for power. He probably will use those rumors to fuel the fire, but he knows he needs more."

“I think I give it to myself every time I have to leave you,” she muttered, shaking her head. Her eyes closed at the kiss, and she hummed a little with pleasure.
Indeed, for a moment he was blinking statue. When Jimin finished speaking and looked up, it was easy to see the change in his disposition. His laughter worried him a little, though she could understand the reason for it. Her expression shifted from calculating to more grim. She felt her skin grow cold. The cramping still pained her, but she could ignore it.
Jimin nodded, thinking back to the small prince who called her Lady Flower. A small smile came back to her briefly. “You know, I can imagine him doing that. I saw His Highness this morning, and there are many similarities between you two.”
She raised an eyebrow and watched his act, though soon she was laughing herself and shaking her head again. “That was basically how he sounded to me. That was almost too perfect.” Her laughter also faded quickly, and she blinked with surprise. “I will be honest, I had not known he hunted vampires.”
Her heart began to pound. This was both incredibly worrying and incredibly inconvenient. Yet, she could not think of much to do other than carry on as normal and try to evade Commander Song’s attempts to pry. Though, Kangdae was right. He could not do much either at the moment, with only rumors in his arsenal. But perhaps they would really have to prepare for the worst…
“I wanted to tell Her Majesty my suspicions about him,” she sighed, “but she is holding dearly onto the hope that having Commander Song working with her and myself will protect you and Prince Doyun.” She rubbed his hand again, trying to control her nerves. Her posture was stiff, and her free hand shook a little in her lap.

"You truly never leave. You are always here," He motioned to his heart before stopping himself; then he confusingly motioned to his head. Kangdae laughed at the comment on similarities shared with the little prince. He wanted to further his act of making the commander a fool. Jimin's laughter has a great impact on him, just as the sudden change in her expression.

Kangdae rubbed the back of his neck before brining it over to where he was bitten. "To be quite honest, I don't believe anyone else knows even the soldiers who die for him. I remember seeing the marks on their necks and all the blood, but I was so foolish to believe in tigers and boars," He admitted. "Him and the whole family have been hiding it, so do not worry about not knowing he hunts after…my kind…but I don't think he is really going after vampires to protect people."

Rumors, lies, and secrets, all of which run through the palace. Eventually they will all come together to explode into catastrophe. Kangdae bit down on his bottom lip. Nothing terrible will happen tomorrow or the day after that, he can be assured of which. This so-called commander only has generational prestige and wealth, even rumors aren't enough to give him the abilities to do anything he might want to do. Regardless, Kangdae needs to; he needs to now so then Jimin will not worry and his mother and Doyun and Myung and even the rest of the court.

His thoughts were driven out by the sounds of heavy heartbeats. Glimpsing down at their hands, his eyes met Jimin's other that was shaking a bit. "She is in a fascinating position. She was lied to and taken advantage of because of her fear for the worst," He muttered, "It's a reality she cannot handle by herself, but I know I cannot tell her the truth, especially now."

Removing the hand that rested on his neck, he used it to take ahold of her hand that was shaking. "We are going to be alright. You are going to be alright. I will create some sort of plan and we will end this madness." Kangdae held it up to his face to kiss the back of it.

She watched him, and couldn’t help but laugh at his gesturing. “Oh, I know what you mean,” she smirked. “I am in your mind always, and you think of nothing but me and our nights together.” Her voice was made purposely dramatic and joking, though she understood Kangdae was trying to be sincere.
She let the joking die down, and still watched him. “Ah, of course it is kept secret.” Jimin shuddered to think of those dying men, with viper-like wounds in their throats. “Hm, well, you must have been young, then. Of course your mind could only accept what it could understand.”
Then she frowned at these last words. It only brought up more questions. If it was not to protect people, then why? Did they think of hunting vampires as some sort of sport, like hunting game? Was it another boast of power to them? Neither of those things sounded very secretive to her, but then she did not really know. She had only heard of the Song clan, she did not know them. Though curious, she did not really feel like asking, not now.
She was almost grateful when he moved on. “Yes… I worry for her.” She said no more, her mind once again overpowering her ability to speak. Her Majesty feared for her sons, and her eldest’s health, and failed to realize the state of her own health in the process. Jimin’s mind drifted. Was she doing the same?
She focused on Kangdae again, exhaling with the kiss. Her hand still shook faintly. She attempted a smile, but her mind seemed determined to consume her like a deep, buzzing well. “See? You are brave. Braver than I.” She shook her head. “But I worry for you too.”
Carefully, so as to not make the cramping worse, she shifted towards him. “Kangdae, I must ask you a few things. Um…” sifting through her memories again, her gaze lowered. “What happened to the guards at your door? I don’t… remember them being there last night. And the footsteps…” her voice went low. Her mind buzzed.

"Exactly," He laughed. At least she understands what he is trying to say. It is relieving. He was about to trip over his words, if he hasn't already before.

A secret. One that leads to many more to discover, but that is if they still remain. It doesn't make sense. None of it does. It doesn't seem like Song Jeonghan is out hunting vampires for the sake of safety of the people, and it doesn't seem as if he is really caring about his men as well. So why go to the palace of all places? Why here and why now?

There's no use in wasting time wondering and worrying, but what else can he do? He's desperate, stuck in a cage and he doesn't want to burden Jimin with such troubles. "Thank you, my love," He grinned while squeezing her hand, "It is okay to worry. Rest assured, Hwang Jimin is at my side and Chang Kangdae is at yours."

"What happened to them?" His eyes drifted off to the side as they glazed over. Thoughts went down a deep abyss. While he could perfectly recall most events that occurred last night, he doesn't recall what had happened to the two guards. But he remembers the footsteps. He remembers hearing them, along with others, disappearing a short while later.

His nose scrunched. He frowned. "Whoever it was that had them walk away, they smelled bitter. Oh, it was horrid," Kangdae mumbled. His fingers picked at the silk of his robes. "I have no clue what happened. I even had Myung and some other servants go to some other guards and ask, but none of them would say a word. Nothing…"

Still her mind whirled, still her mind buzzed. Jimin had to pull herself from her deepening mind when she heard Kangdae’s voice. Taking a breath, she squeezed his hand back and nodded. “I have you and you have me,” she murmured, gazing fondly at him.
As she listened, her gaze hardened. “Nothing….” She echoed. With a sigh, she shook her head and muttered, “Well, no use trying to figure it out just now…” she briefly glanced at the door, as if worried the footsteps would come again and they would be discovered.
She turned back to him after a few moments. “Now, I would like to ask you something else. It’s about last night. When you almost… Ah.” She paused to clear her throat, then looked at him carefully, watching for her lover’s reaction. “Do you think it’s possible,” she said slowly, “that you did it because you wanted me to become a vampire? Is it possible that you love me so much, and you want us to be together forever, so you had an instinct— a thirst— that told you to try and make me like you? That is, functionally immortal?”
He had said he didn’t know why he had done it, and this is the best she could think of. Part of her wanted to be right, but the other part of her wanted to be wrong. If she was right, it may complicate things, and it was a rather uncomfortable idea on its own. If she was wrong, then maybe it was simple hunger after all. They could work around that.

He smiled at the feeling of his hand being tightly held for a moment. Those seconds of happiness and warmth gave him some assurance. Even as he glimpsed over towards the door, there was still a little smile on his face. Stress gleamed in his eyes before they looked to stare back at Jimin.

Together forever, that isn't something realistic, right? He shouldn't be hoping for such a thing, especially for what he had done last night and for the ambiguity of tomorrow. But he does love Jimin. Oh by the heavens, moon, and sun he does. Probably one of the best things to ever have happened in his entire existence, especially after turning, is falling in love with her.

He cannot drag her into eternal damnation because of that. He doesn't even fully remembered how he turned. All that Kangdae is able to recall is falling off the horse, the excruciating pain of being bit, and waking up with the taste of blood in his mouth. Blood…..he shouldn't be thinking of that right now.

"To be with you forever would be more than a dream, but I cannot bring you to a state of eternity like this if it isn't what you truly want," He admitted. Kangdae lowered his gaze. "I was hungry….thirsty….And the aroma….Something in my mind took charge, but I should have never done that to you."

He continued on picking at his sleeve. The fidgeting wasn't enough for him to stop thinking about last night or blood or his ongoing thirst or any of the other thousands of troubles. None of it ever stops. He has to though; things like his thirst would get better if he didn't stop thinking about the constantly, right?

Jimin frowned. Was she frustrated at the moment, even angry? She shook her head. She didn’t want to be frustrated with him. It wasn’t her place to be. Was she treating him like some sort of marvel or novelty by trying to figure this out? If she was, then she must be no better than Commander Song. But she wanted to understand. She wanted to understand so badly. Maybe if she understood, then they could figure out how to keep something worse from happening.
“That was not my question, love,” she said, swallowing down the frustration and anger. “It is not a matter of whether it should or should not have happened. It happened, and I want to understand why.” Then her eyes widened, and she turned away from him, now trying to swallow regret as well. “No… no, I’m sorry. I’m asking too much. We don’t have to talk about this.”
Of course this would be hard for him to talk about. It would be so heavy for him. They have already talked about a lot tonight, and she did not want to pressure him. She let out a sigh, trying to keep herself from tearing up.

Something is not right. The frown on his beloved's face was concerning to him. He tried to make sense of what he was being asked. To him, he thought that Jimin meant why did he do it. Him, as Kangdae not as a vampire. That's what he assumed, but turns out he thought wrong, right? Should he be assuming things right now? But what is it should he say?

All he was able to do was sense, guess, what Jimin was feeling and do his best to be a good lover to her. Words shot his throat. He wanted to say something. He wanted to talk. He couldn't though. He just couldn't. There was strain in Jimin's voice. She looked away from him.

Kangdae has only been in this state of being for three years. The only time he has ever came into contact with anyone else like him was the moment before and after he became who he is now. No one in the palace can tell him exactly what he is or how to even help him. There's no information aside from folktales and stories. He still looks normal, age wise, but he won't by the time Doyun is all grown up. Kangdae is alone.

He let go of her hand. As much as he wants to hold onto it forever, he let go of it then got off the bed. Instead, he got down on his knees in front of her. Such an act would be damning, but it doesn't matter when you've already been damned, yes? Very softly, he placed his hands on the sides of her arms.

"There is a part of me that I do not know. It just takes over whenever my senses are dulled by blood…by the smell of it…It controls me because I need blood to survive. I need it to be awake during the day or to withstand silver or fight or do anything. Even if I have blood, it still wants me to have more because it is better than having none….And I usually…lure people, putting them in a vulnerable position because it is easier to….So last night when we were…..the need…the urge, it just came over me…"

His chin finally tilted up to get a glimpse of her. Immediately he looked away. He cannot….How can he even be in a position like this after saying such things? "Jimin, my love, it's alright. It was my fault, and you should know what happened and why," Kangdae assured. "It is difficult to talk about. What's worse is putting it aside or ignoring it. You are doing your best, my love."

Had she phrased the question wrong? Perhaps it was just easily misunderstood. It seemed that it was difficult to describe the line between where Kangdae ends and where the vampire begins. Is it too late to ask in a better way?
She couldn’t look at him, even as he moved and let go of her hand. She only let him move into her line of sight when he kneeled in front of her. Feeling his hands on her arms, she sighed, and rested her own hand on one of his. Her vision unfocused as she listened to him.
“I see…” she nodded slowly. “So… you have never felt an urge or a need to… turn other people into vampires? Or at least, nothing that felt like it…” her words quieted as she trailed off.
Closing her eyes for a moment, she paused, then opened them again. “You’re right. It would be worse to put it aside.” She looked over, and reached down to tilt his chin towards her. “But I would not want you to talk about it when you are not ready to, Kangdae.” She took her hand away, looking him over, then sighed again. “Hm, maybe this time, you should be the one in the vulnerable position,” she suggested. “Maybe I could be the one to kiss your neck.” She allowed the smallest of smirks to tug at her lips. “Don’t worry, I won’t get too close to your scars.”

Silence fell upon him, and yet he nodded to confirm. What can he say on the whim to satisfy her curiosities, let alone his own? Oh, it is too much. He should have divorced himself from his human emotions. If he did, would he understand more of himself now? There is no guarantee that it would be for the better or worse. And aside from that, if he had the intention of turning others anytime he had to go out, then he would have turned a lot of humans into vampires; but then there would be thousands of vampires in the kingdom, given that he isn't the only one. He isn't; he can feel it, yet not in the way he can sense humans. All of these what ifs and what he wished he knew left a fire burning in his mind.

Once his chin was tilted up, it did not move. Instead, his eyes glistened as if they laid on stars in the night sky. While he wished to hang his head low, he felt frozen by Jimin's gaze. Her touch lingered. Even the tiniest curve of a smirk left him with lips parted.

Kangdae touched where the bite scar is. He didn't touch the scar. No, his fingertips grazed the cloth and silk of his clothes. Once his other hand slipped away, he removed the top robe, letting it drop onto the floor behind him. He smirked while undoing the tie for his undershirt. "I shall tremble like a flower," He breathed, "I will only be vulnerable underneath you…..and let us enjoy one another…"

So her thought had been disproven. Jimin couldn’t help but feel like she had stumbled upon something conclusive, definitive, but it was probably better that she was wrong. “I’m sorry,” she felt the need to say it again. She didn’t like the look on his face. Was she being demanding, unreasonable? Well, perhaps not, but it is like she said. She didn’t want him to say anything when he wasn’t ready.
Slowly, slowly, these worries were washed away as she looked into his eyes. She felt his hands slip away, yet she could still feel the imprints of his touch. The smirk grew a little wider as Kangdae removed his robes. “And I shall be gentle and tender with all that is in me,” she murmured. “For that is all I want, now… to love and enjoy you simply and to keep you whole while you are vulnerable…” she reached down and brushed his cheek.

The smile on his face was thin yet his eyes twinkled. A weighted feeling hung low in his chest. Right away Kangdae wanted to dismiss the apology and say that there is no need to apology or how it is partially is fault. On the other hand, he feels as if it was no one's fault; well, not him or Jimin. He wants to say something, but he is not ready to. Only, he isn't sure what to say. All he can do is lovingly stare into her eyes, give her kisses, hug her, hold her hands, and everything else.

"How can I not give you all of those things?" He asked. Like trees swaying in the wind, he bent at her touch; leaning into it as the heat kissed his cheek. How powerful she is, it is fascinating to him. The sensation, the warm fuzzy feelings, almost made him forget what he was supposed to be doing.

No matter what he would do next, he would rather not break away from Jimin. He doesn't like moving away. It took him a minute to convince himself to get up. "I do not want to keep you waiting from what it is you want," He purred while getting onto the bed.

Kangdae leaned over, whispering into her ear, "Make me whole, make me vulnerable. The night is ours."

After all the stressful talk, she grew tired. At least any pain she might be experiencing was gone. She just wanted to relax now, and have her lover and his soft lips against her.
Jimin let out a breath. “I may want it, love, but it is up to you to give it.” Watching him get onto the bed, she let his voice lure her closer to him. In her eyes, he was the powerful one, with the purring and cooing of his silky voice. It made her sleepy, it made her careless. But she reminded herself that she could not be, that he would be underneath her and not the other way around. But oh, how his whispers enticed her. She turned to him, focusing on his face for moment. Taking his chin, she tilted his head down and kissed him, gentle and brief. “Oh, you’re so sweet and lovely,” she murmured. “Quench my thirst, pour into me.”
She kissed him again, deeply. Her arm wrapped around his shoulders, the other reaching for his hand. Goosebumps rose on her skin, and she shivered. His skin was icy, yet soft, and she took a moment to get used to touching it for this long again.

"I will…I will give it to you, my dear." The words flew past his lips in a heartbeat. What wouldn't he give her? He would have to give her the whole world if it such a thing were possible, but he will suffice.

The soft swift kiss blew his eyes wide. Eagerness jolted him, but Kangdae knew to hold it back. Her murmurs soothed him like the sounds of leaves blowing in the wind. He let his lips move gradually against hers. Feeling heat radiating from her hand, he brought his to it.

If his lips are not occupied, then he would go on and on and on about her. How lovely she is, her intelligence, her voice, beauty, those little freckles, and even her stubbornness, he could go on about it all if possible. Now even, he is thinking about all those things; all about her.