forum "How come you haven't run away from me yet?"//oxo//Closed

Started December 12, 2020 by @knightinadream group

tune

A warm gingery scent hit her as Jimin entered. Already smiling, it only grew when she saw him there, smiling back. She returned the bow, then moved over to the desk where he sat.
“Oh, how lovely,” she murmured, then met his gaze. “Good evening, Your Highness. How are you?”
She sat across from him, feeling the tension in her back as she did so. She ignored it, instead searching Kangdae’s face. He was lovely to behold; his onyx eyes, his pearlescent skin, his delicate lips. But she was looking for more than that. Now that they were here, she couldn’t keep her mind off of what happened in the throne room anymore. She at least hoped it wasn’t another situation he had taken badly. To her, it was just another incident of poor timing. Besides, she hadn’t even done anything to stop him.
Then she remembered the previous night, how tired and distracted he’d been. How frustrated she was that they weren’t on the same page. She didn’t see that same drowsiness now, but she didn’t want the same thing to happen again for whatever reason.
So she asked him, “Would you like to talk about this morning?”

Lifting his chin up a little, his eyes sparkled seeing the grin on Jimin. The corners of his lips continued to curve up till he sighed. Kangdae felt better seeing her once again. He did not hesitate at her question when he said, "I am well, or at least, now I am. And how about you? How are you?"

His mind was still going back to what happened in the throne room. While it is hard to not think about it, he was not as embarrassed as he was before. Now it was something that his mind was fixating on, giving him an unknown sense overcoming him. Resting his fingertips over his bottom lip, he shook his head, going back to focusing on the current moment.

Kangdae picked up one of the tea cups, placing it in front of Jimin. A small hum resonated from his throat. "Of course. We should go over it now, whenever you are ready that is," He responded. Cautiously, he picked up the pot and poured some tea in then sat it down on the tray.

He can only imagine what had happened before the queen and jimin went over to the king's hall. More pressure to their plans must have been applied. With time winding down to the enthroned ceremony, there is only so much they can do, but so much more that they have to act on. And yet, it is best that they discuss it now rather than later.

“I am well,” she replied evenly, then added, “Tired, aching a little, but it’s good to see you again.”
Jimin inhaled, taking in the ginger scent as he poured the tea. After which, she blew over the top and sipped. Warmth filled her as it slid down her throat, and she hummed with delight. “Thank you so much, love,” she said as she set the cup down. “This hits the spot.”
Thinking back to the morning, she raised a finger to her chin. The conversation had been a bit shorter than usual because they had to go to the king’s hall, which probably helped in keeping the queen from suspecting too much. “Things have mostly remained the same. I told Her Majesty that you possibly had a weak heart. She thinks there is another explanation, but we discussed starting a treatment for you.” Here she lowered her hand, folding them in her lap. “She’d also found one of the medical journals, but it didn’t have any definitive proof, so I told her it wouldn’t help. She thinks there are more of them though, so she wanted me to ask you about them again. I didn’t find any more of them in the archives, but I suppose I don’t really need to know where they are. I just need to know one thing. Did you hide the medical journals, or did you destroy them?”

Resting his hand underneath his chin, he gazed after her. His eyes lit up, watching as she took a sip from the cup. The other hand was going to reach over for the tea pot again, but he forced his hand to relax. "I am glad you enjoy it," He breathed.

When she began to talk about this morning, he sat up and focused. It seemed like them going to meet him had helped this time, though they mustn't take it for granted. He believes he can take care of the treatment part; he'll just have to come up with a plan that his servant can follow.

The mention of the medical journals had changed the course in his mind. His brows furrowed while the rest of him was strained. Both of his hands were on his lap, but they were starting to clench at his new robes.

Should he tell her? What even is the point of lying to Jimin? She knows. He cannot deny that fact at all no matter how hard he wants to hide it and run from it. The truth of it will still follow him regardless if he lies or not, yet he cannot do it to her. Even if she does not tell the queen anything, nothing will help if he refuses to say a word.

Kangdae lowered his eyes while clearing his throat. "Most, if not all, of them were burned," He mumbled. "I ordered them to be burned in the forests nearby. There is only one I decided to keep, but I ordered Myung to hide it some place where even I cannot find the damned thing…."

More words filled his throat, but he stopped himself before he would say too much. If she asked more about it, suppose he may tell her everything, but he is scared to. Him, the future king of Pyeonghwa, is scared to say a word. Alas, that is how it is.

Jimin noticed the change in his body language, and she made a small frown. So he burned them. She would have nothing to show Her Majesty, but it didn’t really matter. He had done what he could to keep himself safe, and she will do the same thing. But even now, he looked afraid. It saddened her, though she wanted to know why. She looked back down at the cup of tea in front of her, taking comfort in the sweet scent.
“Alright, that is all I need to know,” she repeated. “I will just tell the queen that you truly don’t know where they are.”
Was the one journal that he had hidden been the one that the queen had found? If it was the only one, then it must be, but she did not want to ask to see what he thought. She did not want to make him more worried, and besides, the journal that the queen found did not reveal much anyway.
Reaching up, she took the cup again and drank more of the tea. Her mind began to move on to the other things they should speak about…

Is she going to be mad or disappointed in him for his fearful and anxious actions? Will she be frustrated? His eyes glimpsed over, reading her face for any signs of what he worried of. Her frown concerned him, but it is alright. He probably would have reacted the same way if he was her.

Lowering his chin, he sighed. Some of the tension in his body has melted while the rest of it still remained. He bowed his head and muttered "Thank you" under his breath.

"If you would like to discuss more about it….the journals….You do not have to worry about me at this moment," He assured. "Even if you do not tell my mother, I am sure you are curious in something about the one I didn't burn or the one she has. My love, I may be scared, but it will pass eventually."

Kangdae relaxed, leaning back a little. Removing the headband that held the topknot and rest of hair up, he sat the headband on the table. He ran his fingers through his hair. "But this is, of course, this time is for you and your business. So, honey, please do not hesitate to ask whatever questions you desire," He faintly smiled. "And yet, we should make it quick. I want you to relax."

Jimin did not know which was more difficult to bring up. Both subjects were so awkward, and every time she tried to summon the words to buffer such awkwardness, she would come up empty. For a moment she had to register all of what he said before she could think about responding.
“Oh… no, it’s alright. We can move on,” she said. “It makes me sad that you are scared.”
She sipped her tea, watching Kangdae run his fingers through his hair. Remembering the throne room, she found it in herself to laugh a little, shaking her head. That made it less awkward, so might as well move on to that.
“Speaking of this morning…” she set her cup back down. “You need to be more careful. What you did was rather foolish, I’m not going to lie. Though, I appreciate your boldness. It was nice while it lasted.”
She grinned, all with amusement, endearment, and exasperation contained in one gesture.

It makes me sad that you are scared… The already dim smile on him fell through the nonchalant cracks. Does he really look scared at the moment? Sure, he felt it. Felt. His lips parted slightly as if he was planning on speaking, but he had nothing to say.

Her laugh resonated within him. Although he was confused at first, he found himself laughing a little. A few hair strands fell in front of his face. Brushing them to the side, he nodded at her words. It was foolish, he cannot deny that. He also cannot deny her smile is breathtaking. Oh how Jimin always looks lovely.

"Who's to say that my boldness has ended?" He asked, tilting his head. It rested while he kept hid hand underneath his chin. A smile appeared on him as he stood up and sat down next to her. "Time is ours, and the moon is high up in the sky. We have the chance to be as foolish as we desire to."

He sighed. "I was wondering what would have happened if we were not interrupted. Ah, I can only imagine, but I promise that I won't be foolish again. You have my word."

She raised a brow at his question, something sparking inside of her when he smiled. “I suppose you are not wrong.”
Excitement bubbled in her as he moved beside her, though she didn’t know why. He was just moving, that was all. When he sat down, Jimin, a little hesitantly, put her arm through his elbow and grasped his hand, entwining their fingers. Perhaps it was that which she had been excited for.
“I was wondering that too,” she said. “And thank you. There’s no point in putting ourselves in harm’s way, right?”
Indecision made her paused. It wasn’t like she needed to tell him, it would be difficult anyway. And yet, if she didn’t, it may cause problems down the line. She could already feel the pain coming back, despite the tea. Her gaze shifted to the cup on the desk.
“Actually, I should tell you something. I did not mention it earlier because I didn’t want to startle you or make you uncomfortable.” She hesitated again, then said slowly, “During times like these, I am not only in pain, but I am also bleeding. I’m not wounded, at least I don’t believe so, it is just something that happens. I…”
Looking down at their hands, she trailed off. She could not look at him now, only wait for what he would say.

(Lmao that's so true though!)

Briefly, he was hypnotized by the way he saw her light up. The air around them felt as if it were full of excitement. He sensed a feeling of it bubbling inside him as Jimin took ahold of his hand.

There was a moment of pause after hearing her question. Really, he supposed that she is right. There is not much use of putting themselves in harm's way. He could not bare to see Jimin in any danger. On the other hand, if it was the last thing he could do in order to save her or the others he cares for, then maybe it would be worth it. Though, he said nothing and just hummed in response.

Kangdae stared off into space as he went into deep thought. Gradually his mind added up all the details till his eye lit up. He sat up straight then turned to look at Jimin. The corners of his lips curved into a soft smile. "Oh I know what you are talking about," He nodded. "The monthly pain, is it not? I believe that I understand, though I only know so much about it."

He glimpsed down at their hands. "It's alright. It's okay to be a little hesitant, but I am here for you, Jimin. I will always be at your side."

She watched him as he paused to think, then let out a breath. “Oh, good. I was worried you didn’t know.” Turning to stare at her teacup, she rubbed her thumb against his hand. “And thank you. I’m very glad you are not uncomfortable, and that you are here for me.”
She leaned forward to finish her tea, then leaned back, against him. The pain was coming back now, so she closed her eyes. “Anyway, I think that is all that has been on my mind.”
(Sorry it’s short)

(It's all good!)

Kangdae was not sure what to say. His mind was lost in the feeling of Jimin rubbing her thumb against him. The gesture is so simple and yet, he eyes widened at the sight of it. They glistened as a wave of red shined. Oh heavens, he is so easily fixated by it. He cannot help but be so fixated by everything she does.

"I only know so much, but, I try to learn. It's the least I can do…" His voice became hushed. His eyes wandered as quickly as his mind did. Looking down at her, he smiled. The candlelight complimented her skin. It was dim, although he was still able to see the small freckles on her face. The crown prince could not help but imagining kissing each one while listening to her laughing.

Glimpsing over at the tea cup, he remembered about the pain and what he said earlier on in the day. "Now that we have taken care of business, it is time for you to relax," He nodded. "I know you cannot take away the pain completely, but I was once told you can lessen it in many ways, though I don't remember most of them…. Do you want to be in bed? It's more comfortable than sitting here."

Jimin caught the shine of his red eyes out of the corner of her own. A smile spread on her face, knowing it was because of her little gesture but unsure why.
She was not in the mood to explain everything to him at the moment. Though, if Kangdae had questions about anything, she may not mind it. Her gaze drifted to him again. In the candlelight, his skin looked like smooth marble. The red had faded by now, but his eyes were no less entrancing. They glittered like dark honey in the light, sweet and enticing. He always had the beauty of a carved statue, but Jimin also loved the softness of his lips and hair. As he spoke, she took her free hand and gently stroked those soft locks, trying to ignore the cramping.
“Yes, there are many ways, but we don’t need to do all of them anyway. This is enough,” she assured.
She let out a sigh. Did she want to be in the actual crown prince’s bed? The idea made her a little hesitant, but she remembered that morning. She had said she would let him take care of her, and he told her not to worry. Letting her hand fall to her lap, she nodded. “Alright. Lying down helps.”
Although, getting up to actually get in the bed might provoke the cramping more, she thought. Once again, she did not like the idea of moving.

The moment he finished his last word, his eyes trailed over to Jimin as if some force was making them do so. Kangdae felt his soul tugging, inching to get closer to her. Yet, he was still, still as can be. The sensation continued on as she ran her fingers through his hair. He never experienced such a thing, but he loved it. Would it be considered greedy if he wished for her to continue?

Without much hesitation, he stood up then strolled over to his bed. He gently unfolded the one side of the covers then fluffed the pillow until he stopped. His eyes flickered over at her then down at his hands on the pillow. They squinted. He, the future king, really shouldn't be doing such a thing. But does it really matter?

Kangdae shrugged at his internal thoughts then went back to grinning. In a sense, he supposes, it does matter, but only because he doing such things for her. To others….well, that is a another case, and thankfully it is just the two of them. There must be something he should do for Jimin. He assured her that it would be fine, and it will be for he will not have this any other way.

Although, his eyes gravitated over toward the doors. A different and familiar smell rose to his senses. His eyes burned red while fists clenched the pillow. Worry built up as he rushed over. There was no need for him to press his ear against the door. Not a single word from outside was heard. He heard footsteps walking away. The smell soon disappeared. A new conflict in their plan has appeared…. "Ah damn fools…." He whispered to himself.

He turned his head to look at Jimin. Like magic, a smile appeared on his face as he walked over. It is time for her to relax, and that is how he is going to keep tonight. Relaxation. Any problems that stir in the night will be taken care of after sunrise. There is so much stress put on the both of them, and he will be damned if more is put on Jimin. "Are you alright, my love?" He whispered. Kangdae sat down then used his hand to rub her back. "Can you not get up? Should we just stay here? I can pick you up, it is no trouble. One of my favorite things to do is to hold you after all."

Jimin watched him with a smile and shake of her head. He didn’t have to do that, but it was just like Kangdae to do it anyway.
But then she caught his red eyes at the same moment she sensed a presence outside. The footsteps came next, and her muscles froze up as her pulse quickened and she turned her head to the door. She went very still, even as the sounds faded and her lover came over.
How could he smile like that as if nothing happened? It unnerved her, and it took some time before her pulse returned to normal. The possibility of being discovered became so terrifyingly real for only a few seconds, but she could not pretend as if they did not happen. She closed her eyes, feeling his hand on her back. She reminded herself to breathe.
“I will be,” she whispered back. “It just hurts.”
Opening her eyes, she cocked her head at him. Despite her hesitation of moving, her stubbornness won over. “You should not have to do that, it’s alright. I just need to…” she planted her hands on the ground and slowly pushed herself to her feet. “… to go slow,” she grunted. The cramping spiked, but only slightly and not for long. Once she was standing, she stayed still to get used to it, then moved toward the bed.
Grunting softly, she laid down, relaxing as she got into a new position. It was helpful and comfortable, but now Jimin felt strangely nervous. Whether it was to do with what happened earlier or because she was now in the crown prince’s bed, she wasn’t sure. Perhaps both.

Nothing happened…..That is what he wants to believe. The presence of the other, even if it was just briefly, it made him anxious. And it was strange too. Why would someone walk over to his chambers then just leave? They only stopped for a few seconds before leaving. Strange, he must do something about it; carefully of course.

Kangdae moved his head back a little with wide eyes. He hummed, continuing to rub her back until she began to get up. Slowly, he copied her. His hand still remained on her back until she got to the bed. He helped her get in then pulled the covers up a little. The crown prince tried to copy what his court ladies do, but he was thrown into the same conflict from minutes ago.

The smile still wore on his face, but it was fading away. Yes, he is happy to be with Jimin and that she is in a more comfortable spot. On the other hand, he knew that something is wrong. She is not relaxed.

"Honey…." He knelt down then rested his chin on his left palm. "Whatever had just happened, I will look into and care of. I am sure they did not hear much so there is not much to worry there."

"Please do not worry. You work hard and have been dealing with so much. Let me take care of this. Please. I will make sure that whoever it was will not cross in your path. If they do, they will deeply regret it. I promise."

Jimin’s expression softened as she watched him, and she reached to steady his hand. “No need to fret and fuss,” she murmured softly.
Kangdae’s voice was warm, making her nervousness ebb away. “Alright. I will trust you with this.”
She kept her hand there, curling it around his. He was right. She had been dealing with a lot. Worrying a lot, too. It made her feel bad, but she subtly shook her head at herself. This is not how she should be spending her time. She focused on breathing again, looking into the face of her love.
“I love you, Kangdae,” she said, simply and bluntly. Ah, perhaps she was being too forward again, but she could not take back the words now. She squeezed his hand, then moved it to stroke his hair again. It was difficult to say any more now.
Some color came to her cheeks and ears, though. “I just… realized that I have not said that to you yet.”
She kept moving her hand through his hair, slowly and evenly, and gradually she became more relaxed.

Something inside bloomed once she said those words. Kangdae remained where he was, staring back at Jimin with wide eyes. They blinked with tears rolling down his cheeks. He did not even notice her squeezing his hand or running her fingers through his hair. Even he did not notice the tears that were slowly, but surely, running down.

Lowering his chin to his chest, he chuckled while wiping some tears away. He looked back at Jimin, laughing a little when seeing the blush on her. "If I may be honest, I thought that I would be the first to say that." Another tear managed to escape. He wiped it away then rested his chin on the bed. "Jimin….My affection for you runs thicker than blood," He cooed. "I love you."

He fell silent soon after. Why is he even crying at this very moment? There is no love story he's heard of where the man or the soldier or the prince is crying after their lover professes their love to him. So why is he? It does not make any sense to him really. His eyes wandered back to her as he was deep in thought. The scent of blood bumping filled him. Sounds of her heart beating filled his ears. Briefly, he looked down at his chest and rested his hand over where his heart is.

"I may not have a beating heart to give you, but let me give you this instead…." Gently, he rose up from where he was kneeling. With his hand, he cupped her cheek. Leaning down towards her, Kangdae parted his lips before they pressed lightly against hers. His eyes flickered open then pulled away, returning back to his previous position, kneeling back down.

Was it something she said? Something she had done? Jimin sat up, her brow upturned. What was the reason for his tears? She stopped stroking his hair, moving her hand to Kangdae’s cheek to dry it. His tears were cold against her thumb. Hearing his chuckle calmed her worries somewhat, and she laughed a little with him.
“Oh, I did not mean to make you cry. You know me, I’m plain,” she said fretfully. At his words, she shivered and put a hand over her mouth as her blush deepened. “Oh,” was all she could say. Always so poetic.
Her hand fell from her mouth, and for a moment she got lost in herself before she heard his voice again. It was like her bones had fused with her muscles and her mind had emptied out. She had all but forgotten about the cramping now. His hand, so soft yet so cold on the heat of her cheek. Before she could really understand what was happening, she felt his lips against her own. Her breath hitched. How were they so soft and bleak, and yet the breath that passed between them was sweet and warm?
She watched him, doing nothing to stop her eyes from welling up and spilling over in hot, fat drops. “Oh,” she said again, and moved to wipe them away, but they did not stop. Why was she crying now? He has kissed her before. Just not….
“My love,” she murmured, her voice shaking. “You have kissed me so many times. I have kissed you only once. You… you told me that I deserve to be kissed, and I said that you deserve just the same. So please… can I give you what you deserve?”

"Your simplicity…..The way you are blunt at times…Those are some of the reasons why I love you," He admitted. Much to his luck, another tear fell. So many words were forming in him that he did not know what to say. He worried that they would all come out at once incoherently.

The warm touch of Jimin's hand pulled his attention out of the deep abyss of pondering. His eyes flickered up to her. "Oh please forgive me for crying. I do not remember the last time anyone has said those words to me. I am grateful to hear those words come from your sweet lips."

His fingertips lightly touched his bottom lip. For a second, he believed he felt some sort of tingling sensation, but it cannot be possible since he is undead. The moment of him kissing her replayed in his head for what felt like an eternity. Is it true? He could not believe himself in that moment. This is much more different than when he was alive.

Kangdae sat on the side of the bed. Reaching over, he wiped away some of the tears on her. "My dear…." He whispered underneath his breath, holding her cheek. Moving closer towards Jimin, he planned to embrace her, until he heard her speak.

She is correct. He has kissed her multiple times; he cannot help it. The look on her face afterwards and the feeling of her heart pumping is wonderful. Although, she had only kissed him once. It is alright to him, but the shakiness of her voice worried him.

With his thumb, he rubbed her cheek. His eyes lit up. "I am yours and you are mine. I only deserve so much, especially from you, my dear…." Kangdae fell silent for a moment as his eyes dropped down to her lips then her besting heart. Gazing back into her eyes, he murmured, "Do as you please, Jimin."

Words were building up in her as well. The need to respond, the need to explain herself. Instead she sniffled, a smile breaking through. Jimin kept her hand on his cheek, despite its ever-present cold.
“Really?” She tilted her head slightly, shaking her head. “There’s nothing to forgive. I only wish I had said it sooner.” She sniffled again.
His cool touch was a welcome to her burning cheeks. Still smiling, still crying, she placed her other hand over his. He was such a sight to behold. “You deserve more than I could ever give you, love.”
Then she chuckled softly. “Ah, I’m going to get you even more wet than you already are.” Wiping more of her tears away, her smile faded as she sniffled. Her hands ran through his hair again, bringing him closer to her. She leaned forward, eyelashes fluttering. Their lips brushed against one another, the action tentative, almost scared. Admittedly, she does not have much practice with this. She tried again, and this time it more firm, though still hesitant. When she pulled away, she almost smiled a little at herself. It felt so good, and yet she was nervous now. Releasing a small, shaky breath, she pressed her lips to his cheek before embracing him.
“I love you,” she murmured again. Her eyes welled up and a tear slipped out. “Ahh, if only I was as bold as you. I think that’s one of the things I love about you. So bold, so unafraid.”

Kangdae shook his head. "You couldn't have said it at a better time." With his thumb, he wiped a couple tears away. He had to use his sleeve to wipe some of his own that were still falling. "I only deserve as much as the lady across from me," He breathed. "And I only want to be loved by her…To be loved by you."

His eyes widened as they lingered in Jimin's. They stared, watching her with fascination. His lips trembled, trying to say something, but he was at a loss for words. Then suddenly, his eyes fluttered shut as he felt her lips pressing against his.

Her lips are smoother than silk. They feel sweeter than anything he has ever come across. Could he ever imagine himself pulling away from her? No. Never. Even the idea of becoming greedy over such a thing had blossomed in his mind, but he could not help it. He let himself lean into her a little. He let himself take in all of the sensations that clouded his senses. The feeling of life at the touch of his lips. Never has he ever felt something like this before. Any tension that was buried deep within him was ungrounded then gone. All his troubles had disappeared, just in that moment. Only him and Jimin are there. There was nothing else in the entire world except for the two of them.

Kangdae did not open his eyes after she pulled away. When he did, the first thing he saw was her grin. Soon a smile of his own appeared as she kissed his cheek. Heat still pressed against his lips and cheek. Something had touched his soul that he knew would never leave.

Resting his chin over her shoulder, he wrapped his arms around her. His fingers slowly brushed her back. "Oh my love, nothing will ever compete with you," He whispered. "While naturally I have to be bold, I believe I am better at it with you at my side. Your words, smiles, gazes….they all make me feel bolder. I feel as if I am my best with you, my love."

“Then I will love you until the stars in the sky go out,” she whispered. Jimin leaned into his touch like a flower turning towards the sunlight.
When Kangdae kept his eyes closed, she studied him for a moment. She could tell he liked it, and that became another reason behind her grin. She may not have a lot of practice, but at least he did not look unimpressed.
But now, as she hugged him, she wondered why she even wanted to impress him in the first place. Originally, all she wanted to do was share the experience of what being kissed was like. But then, perhaps you needed to be good at kissing to do that well. When that thought entered her mind, she got nervous again. It didn’t matter now, though. Her eyes dried almost as soon as they welled up.
She breathed a sigh. “Oh, good. I feel the same.” She had been about to continue, but at that moment she had shifted, made a noise of pain. Tension had built up in her back and hips, and her movement brought back the cramping once more. Slowly, she let go of Kangdae and let herself lay back down, grunting and groaning.
Letting out a shaky breath, she murmured, “Alright, alright, I’ll rest now.” She closed her eyes to focus on breathing, her hand searching for his.

"And will you be there with me when that happens?" The question had fallen off of his tongue a moment after she spoke. Jimin's words pressed deeply against him; they always have. He wished there was a way for him to keep all the warmth, words, looks, and even kisses from her.

Oh the kisses. If there was anything life in him, his cheeks would be burning red. It was his first time he had kissed someone or had been kissed, but the fact that he had kissed Jimin and that she kissed him. The fact just makes him want to run up the ceiling with glee. The moment they shared is far more greater than any love story he has heard. No, it was even better. It was the two of them.

Kangdae countinued to embrace Jimin until he felt her letting go. The moment he realized, his bottom lip jutted out as he moved back. He moved his hand to her arm, trying his best to help her comfortably relax.

His eyes lingered on her. Softly humming in response, he beamed. Leaning forward a little, he took advantage of being able to admire her features more. He loved seeing the small freckles on her and the roundness of her cheeks. Or how her eyes were turned up a bit and the shape of the lips. The urge to kiss those pouty lips flowed through his veins, but something had took ahold of his attention.

"Hm?" Sensing something moving on top of the blankets, he lowered his chin. In a blink of an eye, he took a hold of her hand while chuckling. "Would you like to do this again tomorrow night, my dear? Just relaxing?"

(Kinda wild that we’ve been doing this for over a year)

“Will I?” The question threw her off for a second. Then Jimin smiled softly, almost mischievously. “What do you think?”
It was obvious to her. She would be. She could feel it. Kangdae couldn’t get rid of her that easily.
The imprint of his bleakness lingered on her lips. The moment began to replay in her mind over and over again, letting her analyze every aspect of it. How many times had a man touched her before? Before she met the prince, she could count with one hand. Now, she needed more than two. She thought she would be more excited about the fact that she had kissed the prince himself, but he did not really feel like a prince anymore. He was just a person. A dead person, perhaps, but even that fact did not bring her any excitement, nor fear, nor disgust, or confusion. He was a person whom she loved and kissed, who loved her, who kissed her in return. That was what brought her excitement and joy. Never before had someone loved her in this way.
She felt her love’s hand in hers, and she opened her eyes to look at him. He was so adorable when he smiled like that. As her gaze landed on his lips, desire rose in her, but she just squeezed his hand a little and tried to ignore the cramping feeling that was still present.
“Oh?” She thought about it. “We do not have to. Tonight is lovely, and relaxing is nice, but I think I will just tell you if I do not feel well. I’m sure it will not be so bad tomorrow.”

(Yoo it is though. I am so happy that is going on strong. It is so much fun.)

He does not know. Kangdae does want to be with Jimin, but he does not know. He is not sure of it. Deep down he wants it as much as he wants the the throne and to rule with great power and prosperity, but… Until the stars in the sky go out… Eternity. There is only way for such a thing to happen. He worries to even think of it.

The grin on him faded as he had fallen deeper into thought. To turn her…..How could he? Is that what she is implying with her own question? To put her through so much pain and to kill her for it…. He does not want to consider it. He does not even want to ask. It is troubling for him, more so than he could ever imagine. Even he was still figuring out his own transformation.

His free hand was picking at his robe sleeve. Mindlessly, he glanced down for a while. Worry crept up within him, though he managed to shake it off for the time being. Somehow all his thoughts about what goes on outside his bed chambers and during the day always diminish to nothing. All his troubles and pains go away the moment Jimin steps in.

A person to confine in, and who knows she can confine in him. They work well together, but they also love each other. He feels safe to cry in front of her. He feels safe with her. "I want you to be at my side, but I fear of forcing you into something you do not wish to be in," He finally whispered. "I just want to love you the way you want me to without forcing anything upon you."

Kangdae's lips turned into a pout as the bottom lip came forward. Feeling his hand being squeezed, he glimpsed over at her. His eyes widened as a sigh fell out of his lips. "Alright," He nodded. "Please do let me know. I can have tea ready for you. I can try to make it if possible."

(Yes! I’m still very invested in this hehe)

She watched him for a while, even as his smile faded. Jimin slowly remembered that, while Kangdae is just a person, it did not mean that the vampiric and princely aspects of himself did not exist. It did not mean that these nightly meetings would be permanent. Their roles, their duties, his vampirism, her humanity… they may keep them apart. And they most likely would, she knew, perhaps when he became king. Then they would be apart. As much as it saddened her to think about it, she wanted to believe just as badly that they would find each other again.
It was strange. Their roles had reversed again. He was the one worrying, and she somehow had this sudden burst of idealism. Jimin almost chuckled at the thought, but then she saw his hand pick at his sleeve and his eyes seeming to glaze over. She rubbed his other hand with her thumb.
His whispers washed over her, and she let out a small breath. “If you love me, Kangdae, then you will never force me into something I do not wish to partake in.” But it was only after she spoke that she realized what he was possibly implying. He had eternity, she did not. For them to be together, then… “I… suppose I can only realistically promise that we will be together for as long as I am alive. I do know that I do not want my life nor my humanity taken from me. But dear, please do not think such things now. I told you I wanted neither of us to be feeling bad, yes?”
She searched his face for a moment, then brought his hand to her lips. “I’m sorry I said those things,” she murmured. “I… I do not wish to lead you to believe promises I could never fulfill.”
Letting their hands fall to her lap, her gaze fixed on them. Something made tears fill her eyes again. The worry she could sense in him, the fact that she would one day die and leave him without her… heavens, her bleeding making her emotional. She didn’t know. She used her free hand to wipe at her eyes.

If there was one other thing that he feared aside from getting caught or losing the throne, it would have to be being alone for the rest of eternity. Despite pushing everyone away for the last three years, he has learned that some of his mortal emotions and needs did not detach from his soul when he turned. One of them to have someone, to have someone to love. And that fact is killing him. It is damning, eternity.

Eternal damnation. To continue on forever with a heavy yet hollow heart slowly sinking into his chest. It's all his fault really. No one else ordered to leave on that night except for him. And for all the things he had done in his short mortal life, maybe he deserves this. Maybe he deserves all the worry hanging around his neck. A tiny bit of hope somehow remains in him, though he knows it is most certainly useless.

And he knows that he cannot have Jimin with him forever. Just like the first night when she stepped through the door, so she shall easily step out for good. Perhaps they can be together beyond this and see each other, although if he survives to be king, he is not sure how frequently they can see each other.

"I love you, Jimin…." A lump had formed in his throat. All his words fell short of a murmur. He does not want to cry. He does want to put his beloved in a somber mood nor does he want to make her feel bad or cry again as well.

In the blink of an eye, he rushed over to sit on the bed beside her. Taking ahold of her hand again, he lifted it up to his lips and kissed it. "You have me. I have you. We have each other now and so shall we tomorrow and the next day after that and so on." Kangdae kissed her hand again. "I appreciate your apology, dear, although it is my fault for asking you that question."

He shifted himself so that they would be facing each other. Moving closer towards her, he held her left cheek. "Regardless of what happens, I will be here with you." He smiled. "I will carry that promise forever." Gradually, he let go of Jimin's hand then went to wrap his arms around her.

Still she watched him, searched his face. As she did so, Jimin remembered something. I do not remember the last time anyone has said those words to me… I only want to be loved…
Maybe they had not switched roles after all. Maybe he had always been afraid, but decided not to show it. They had something precious together that they had previously lacked, and were now afraid to lose. But they would lose it, eventually. One way or another.
His voice when he said that. So smooth, so warm, and yet so pained. “Then the way you love me will never involve force, nor coercion. Do not be afraid,” she assured. “I love you, too.”
She then blinked in surprise when he rushed next to her, but her gaze softened. Kangdae and his snowflake kisses, oh how she loved them both. Her hand reached up to his hair again. “No, I understand why you asked. You were uncertain, you were afraid. I cannot blame you for that.”
Her eyes closed briefly at his touch. She nodded, a tear finally slipping from one eye as he spoke. Welcoming his embrace, she carefully moved her arms around him as well. “I am so glad you are here with me,” she whispered.