forum "I'll take your heart out with a spoon." OxO // CLOSED

Started March 08, 2021 by @cryptic-glitch

tune

Raz followed silently and sat a few feet away from Simon, allowing him some privacy. He took a deep breath and looked at the tombstone, unnaturally empty compared to the others, besides Anaele's name.

Simon rubbed his cheeks, trying to get rid of the tears tracking their way down his face. "I miss you," he said softly. "I wish I could bring you back. I'm sorry." He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, making black and white patterns appear in his vision.

Raz bowed his head as Simon spoke, sent tears rolling down his cheeks as they paid their respects to the deceased angel. "He's told me about you." He whispered softly when Simon fell silent. "I wish we could have met." He dabbed at his cheeks with his sweater sleeve. "Don't know how well we would have gotten along but I still would have loved to meet."

"Don't. He'd gone and I can't bring him back," he said harshly, which he instantly regretted. "Sorry." He stood up and crossed his arms over his chest tightly. "Can we go?"

Raz looked up, the sudden harshness in Simon's voice sounded wrong in the peaceful place. "He's not gone. His physical form may not be seen but he's not gone. I don't think he'd leave so easily, even in death." Raz said, slowly standing and shaking his head. "I'm going to stay a bit longer. There's someone I to talk to. I'll meet you outside if you don't want to stay." Raz said, bowing to Anaele, a small smile on his lips "it was nice meeting you. I hope we see each other again." He said softly, straightening and walking off deeper into the sea of tombstones

Simon returned to the gates, shaking his hands quickly to get rid of his jitters. He felt slightly uncomfortable waiting near Gabriel, but there wasn't much to be done about that. He wiped the last of his tears from his face, hanging his head so he didn't have to look at anything.

Urielle watched as Simon returned and arched an eyebrow in silent question. Gabriel glared daggers as Simon came back. "Where's your friend? The nerdy, fluffy haired one." He asked gruffly, leaning against the wall connecting the gates.

Meanwhile, Raz had finally found the tombstone he had been looking for. "Hey Dad." He whispered softly. "Don't worry, I said hi to Mom too." He reassured, sitting cross-legged beside the tombstone. "Dad a lots been going on." He said with a sigh.

“Why does it matter?” Simon said evasively. “You aren’t going to go bother him; I won’t let you.” He tilted his head to look at Gabriel. “I didn’t murder him and dump his corpse in an empty grave.”

Gabriel chuckled and shook his head, "even if I wanted something to do with that angel, I doubt you'd be able to stop me. Besides, imagine how'd that look to Razielle. The fallen one attacking an archangel." Gabriel drawled.

"I don't have to attack you," Simon corrected Gabriel. "And don't try to guilt-trip me like that. I don't care how Raz feels about me. If he's safe, he could kill me for all I care. Something I doubt you understand." He looked over at Gabriel, his eyes narrowed.

Gabriel tilted his head curiously "is that so? You've taken a bit of a liking to your little angel companion, haven't you?" Gabriel merely shrugged "it's funny that you say that actually, considering that you were the one who hurt him first. Or am I wrong to assume that Razurlle had those nasty bruises and patches on his wings prior to ever meeting you?" Gabriel chuckled and straightened. "I don't have to guilt trip you. You just have to look at him, and the pain that you've caused and you'll guilt trip yourself." He smiled sweetly before stalking off, away from the memorial grounds.

Simon didn't say anything, but watched Gabriel walk away, shaking slightly. Tears were pooling in his eyes again. He knew he shouldn't let Gabriel get to him, but to be honest, it hurt. He bit down on his tongue until it bled. He didn't try to get rid of the tears slithering down his face, sinking down to the floor and curling his wings around himself. He wasn't even angry at Gabriel, somehow. More at himself, which was much, much worse.

Urielle breifly rested a hand on Simon's shoulder before following Gabriel. He would never understand why the archangel needed to bully and reprimand others. He hoped a bit of time between Simon and Gabriel would calm them both down.

"So yeah, theres all that turmoil." Raz chuckled softly and head bowed. "Thanks for the counseling, dad. I hope you and Mom are doing well." He kissed his fingertips and pressed his hand to the smooth stone. "I'll see you soon." He murmured. He slowly stood and walked back to the gates, looking around when he didn't see the archangels. He only saw Simon crouched down when he filly made it out of the memorial and slowly sat beside him, wing extending to wrap around Simon's. He rested his head against Simon's shoulder and silently cried with him

"Don't," Simon said, his tone angry. He moved away from Razielle, flinching slightly. "Please don't. I don't need you to make me feel better." He got up and wiped his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I'm fine. And don't tell me otherwise." His hands were shaking badly, and his skin still hurt from the withdrawl, but he didn't show it.

Raz rested back against the wall when Simon moved away. "That's not what I was trying to do. We've all lost someone Simon. It's okay to greive for them." He reassured. "You don't have to mad about." He stood, wings ruffling slightly. He gently pulled Simon in for a hug for a few moments "besides, it's not fair that you can comfort me but I can't do the second for you." He said before stepping back. "I'm gonna head back to the archives, maybe there's something we missed that could us find the Diety." He said, glancing back over to the memorial. "You're welcome to stay as long as you need."

"Do not touch me," Simon said. "I am not mad. I am not sad." He shoved Razielle away. "I need to go home. I can't. . . I don't want to talk to you right now," he said carefully. "You can come back when you're done here." He turned to Urielle and said, "Would you please take me out of here."

Raz's brows creased in confusion when he was shoved away. He felt tears pooling in his eyes again but not from seeing his parents this time. He quickly whipped them away and nodded "okay. I'll see you later, I guess." He breathed, walking off before Urielle could send Simon back to Earth.
Urielle glanced between the two in worry before nodding slightly and waving his hand, causing a space to open in the clouds. "Thats the last person you should push away." He said softly, stepping back and motioning to the space in the clouds."

"I'm not pushing him away, dumbass. I just need some time to figure myself out. Okay? I don't want to hurt him." Simon didn't look at Razielle, not wanting to know if he heard what he said to Urielle. He jumped into the hole in the sky.
He went back to his apartment, and in his classic, horribly impulsive nature, he sat on his couch, watching Home Shopping Network and got drunk, hoping that it would make his feelings go away.

"I'm going to assume your disrespect is due to your anger." Urielle said calmly though there was a hint of warning in his voice. "It's fine to take time for yourself but do you really think literally pushing him away when all he wants to do is comfort you without a simple explanation is right?" Urielle watched as Simon jumped back to Earth and took a deep breath.
Raz strode back to the archive and dove headfirst into researching, trying his best to keep his emotions in check and his mind sharp as he read and reread the content, shoving aside his worries for Simon and seeing Anaele and his parents for later.

Simon watched Spook meander around. "You know, I'm a sorry excuse for a friend. Raz probably hates me." He let his head fall back against the couch. At least the burning on his skin had gone away. "I think. He will be disappointed in me when he gets here. Maybe I'll barf on his shoes again." Spooks meowed and rolled over on her back. "Should I tell him how I feel, Spooks?"
The cat glared at him.
"Oh, don't do that!" He waved his hand dismissively. "That was not needed. I think I should. He might hate me more. But that doesn't matter. You know, that's what I told Urielle. I said, as long as Raz is safe, that is good. That's what is important. But my opinion doesn't seem to matter."

Urielle took a deep breath and gently nudged Raz' shoulder. The young angel jumped and mumbled something incoherent. "Go home Razielle. Get some much needed rest." Urielle promoted softly. Raz shook his head "I need to keep researching, we need to find the-"
"we can handle that here, you and Simon have pulled out some books and notes we've overlooked. We'll continue to look these over. Right now you need to go talk with Simon and get rest."
Raz shook his head and shoved himself up. "I doubt he'll want to talk."
Urielle shrugged and lead Razielle outside. "I would beg to differ. Now go." Urielle said, opening another space in the clouds.

Raz eventually made it to the apartmentate into the night. As quietly as possible, he opened the door and slumped against the door, taking in the messy room, and then Simon. "Hey." He whispered softly

"Hello!" Simon said jovially. "I am insanely drunk right now. In case you would like to know. But hello." Simon attempted to get up, wobbling some and holding onto the couch for stability. "Would you like something to drink," he said flatly, without the question mark. "I drank all the whiskey. So you can't have that. Oh! You probably want to have a conversation about what happened. Good. That is so great. I love that."

Raz raised an eye brow at Simon's greeting and crouched down to pet Spooks. "I can see that. And no, I'll be okay, thank you." Raz scooped the cat up and headed to the kitchen to make something to eat. "We don't have to talk about that now, if you don't want to. It's been a very long and emotional day for all of us. Beside, somehow I don't think we're in the right headspace to talk right now." He said, setting Spooks down on the countertop.

"That," Simon said, "Is where you are wrong. See, because, I promised Spooks here that I would tell you my feeeeeelings." He teetered backward and sat on the couch. "Lisssten. So I think that you are very. . . nice. And pretty. And I saw you when I waaas hanging out with Annie, and he knew that I had like, this huuuuuge crush. On you! And he was going to make me ask you out." Simon laid halfway on the couch and halfway off, hanging over the arm of the couch, looking at Raz. "Yeah."

Raz turned away when Simon tried to explain his feelings, hoping to hide the blush blooming on his cheeks. "Simon," he said slowly, still turned away. "You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying." Because there was no possible way that what Simon was saying was true. "You're going through a lot right now and you're intoxicated ontop of having strong emotions." He shook his head and braced his hands against the counter. There was no way, not even in Hell, that done like Simon was even remotely interested in someone like Raz. "You need rest."

"No, nonono, you don't get it." Simon slid headfirst off the couch. "Shit. Ow. No, see, I got drunk to tell you this. Beeecause. Gabriel was being a dickwad. And now I feel obligated to be honest with you. 'Cause Gabriel said that I was hurting you. So I have to say all of this shit now, 'cause I need you to understand. So I guess you can leave now or whatever." Simon stood up, swaying. Spooks meowed at his feet. "Hey, look, you asked me to tell him, cat. Don't talk back to me."

Raz shook his head, "so because Gabriel was being a jackass, and because you felt bad for hurting me, you felt that it was necessary to get shitfaced drunk in order to tell me you have or had feelings for me at one point in time?" Raz almost laughed at the absurdity of it all, but his confusion and sudden anger towards a particular archangel dispelled any motive to even smile. "I think that might be for the best." He muttered, putting everything he had pulled out for the dinner he had planned and turning off the stove before heading to the door. "I'll see you in the morning." He muttered.

"Alright!" Simon said cheerfully. "I'll be here." He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and laid down, falling asleep almost instantly. The TV was still on, and Spooks sat on the coffee table, watching the TV with her head tilted.

Razielle had barely made it to the church before he began muttering those ancient words. He stopped a few feet shy of the door and tapped his foot against the ground seven times, murmuring the last few words in time. He took a deep breath and hopped in, welcome the sudden pain flying still have him as he closed down to the Sandy beaches below. Once he landed, he tried his best not to hurl, the wave of regret hitting him once again. He took a deep, steadying breath and walked towards the gate but not through.
"Lucifer! I know you know I'm here!" He called, pushing down the urge to throw up, deep down.
"I need a favor! I know you love making deals!" He slumped to the ground, welcoming the cushiony feel of the sand beneath him with a small sigh

Simon began snoring softly, waking up once in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. He didn't go back to sleep after that, laying awake on the couch, waiting for the alcohol to leave his system. He regretted what he told Razielle, concerned that now he might do something stupid. God, who was he to judge? He closed his eyes, thinking. Where would Raz have gone? Home? He didn't think he could get back into heaven without telling Urielle or Gabriel what he'd done, which didn't bode well. He pulled at his hair. "Now look what I've done. This was such a stupid idea."